Sputnik Music Forums - Black Metal

lol, I'll post it on here so you don't have to go to the link...I hope it fits.

How ‘Belus’ Turned Me Gay

I am 18 years old, with a little Jewish ancestry. I live in Britain, famous for our homosexuals, though I never thought I would become one. This is the story of how an anti-life Black Metal Knight became a ****-craving queer.

All my life I have been... different. I have always scorned the masses; they never understood my radical views on life and religion. I have been a complete misanthrope, I hate humans. When I was younger I remember my parents shouting and screaming at each other, I cried for their attention but it never came. I remember listening to father tell my mother he was going to stab her, and him breaking her nose. I never remembered them telling me they loved me. Huh! My mother moved out and I lived with her in a run-down estate. People would regularly steal from us and throw bricks through our windows.

At school I was an outcast. Looked down upon on; bullied. I had suicidal thoughts at the age of 8. So I’ve always known I was different from the masses. My mind can only be understood by few, my intelligence is mocked in this decaying world. Being as smart and wise as me comes with a great loneliness.

All my (few) friendships fell away as humans continually abandoned me. And of course even the people I was closest with would never truly ‘know’ me. I could never be totally honest with them. I never had any fulfilling relationships with the female species, I came to look upon them as meat, only useful to fulfil sexual urges.

This childhood led me to a life of misanthropy; I walked the streets, sneering at humans to myself. I would imagine shooting them, stabbing them, ending their pointless, disgusting lives. The laws of Britain prohibit me from simply buying a gun, but if I could have acquired one, I have no doubt I would have gone on a killing spree before terminating my own life. I had no hope for humanity.

But at around the age of 14 I discovered something that changed my life. Black Metal. The first Black Metal album I listened to was Midian by Cradle of Filth. Other people turn to drugs, alcohol, sex... but for me Cradle of Filth was my drug. It was unlike anything I had ever heard before. It was vicious and hateful; it was like someone out there finally understood me! I was not alone anymore.

Cradle of Filth, and later Dimmur Borgir, fuelled my aggression and hatred for humanity. I was hungry for more evil Black Metal and discovered Taake and Burzum. Their music spoke to me; I let it flow into my brain. I became pure hate!

Black Metal was my outlet. I no longer cared what the masses thought; I now came to call them the ‘normals’. They were foolish and deserved my utter contempt, their words and actions filled me with disgust. But with Carpathian Forest on my iPod I learnt to live with and control my hatred and anger. The normals could never even contemplate the magnitude of evil, misanthropic Black Metal.

My favourite, though, was Burzum. Burzum: church arsonist and slayer of the homosexual Euronymous. Homosexuals disgusted me, vile twisted creatures. I grew feelings for Varg, not only as a musician but as a human. His hatred of the normals and Christianity (or Christinsanity as I liked to call it) spoke to me on higher plane than Dimmu Borgir or Satyricon. I knew he was special.

By now as was listening almost exclusively to Burzum. I found messages in his music; it was like finding the Holy Grail. I read the liner notes of his albums, they were Biblical to me. I began to recite his lyrics as hymns or mantras.
I had a Burzum poster on my bedroom wall. I lit candles underneath it, and in a small way, worshipped Varg. He was a teacher and a father figure to me. Now here you may mock me, but Varg had restored a small amount of hope in humanity for me. I loved him. It wasn’t sexual at this point, but I had a deep emotional connection with him.

So, he was in prison. I longed for his release. One night I woke up suddenly in hot sweats. I looked at my Burzum poster, maybe it was because I was tired or slightly drunk, but... it spoke to me. It said: ‘I am coming.’ I could not believe my ears, was I hearing things? What did this message mean?

The next day I was reading Blackmetal.co.uk (the best and most gay-friendly Black Metal community). I was stunned, shocked – my heart skipped a beat: Varg had been released from prison! I looked up at my Burzum poster; I could swear it winked at me.

Burzum was to release a new album; his first in ten long years. It was like waiting for the Second Coming for me, in fact the wait almost killed me. Every day I grew weaker, I could not sleep. One day I was slightly delirious and became aroused by staring into the eyes of Varg on my poster. I was a little worried, but where was the harm? I masturbated for around 20 minutes before ejaculating over the poster. I was sweating, but it felt so good! I cheekily painted an inverted cross on Varg’s forehead with my semen... Well, I had always thought he was rather handsome.

Belus finally leaked (as did I, many times, over my Burzum poster!) I downloaded it as soon as I could. I had never been so frustrated by Rapidshare’s download limit!

Finally, I had those precious MP3s on my computer’s harddrive – my penis was also hard. I put my headphones around my ears, put the album into iTunes and clicked play and closed my eyes...

...Wow. I was overwhelmed by immense pleasure. The music washed over my brain in an awesome wave. But it was unlike his previous albums: it was... light and fluffy like a kitten. Previously Varg had been a grizzly bear, but now he was a cute, cuddly kitten. I ripped off my Krallice shirt and reached down and grabbed my erect ****. I began masturbating, and as the album climaxed – so did I!

It was minimalistic and artsy. It had a different aesthetic, it wasn’t ‘evil’, it was good; beautiful, not ugly. Listening to this masterpiece filled me with visions of kind-hearted liberals helping the poor Haitians, and of racial harmony... and of homo-eroticism.

I could no longer pretend otherwise. Belus was the final step in realizing my true identity: I was a homosexual.

These days I am no longer a misanthrope; I love donating to charity and gay sex. I have thrown out my Cradle of Filth CDs, and now the music of ‘Belus’, Krallice, Wolves in the Throne Room, Paysage d'Hiver, Panopticon, Drudkh and Skagos form the soundtrack of my gay sex life. Every time my penis enters the anus of another man, or I swallow a load of spice hot Jizz I think of BELUS!

More Homo-erotic, ultra-gay Metal!!