[QUOTE=Sk8SkaNJ]What's there to do at 2:30 in the morning?[/QUOTE]

I find playing guitar in the wee hours can be quite liberating.

[QUOTE=shane italian]I'm going to Denny's with a couple ladies aroound 1.[/QUOTE]

Be careful where you put your p'enis shane. Sometimes it doesn't come back.

[QUOTE=Sid]Be careful where you put your p'enis shane. Sometimes it doesn't come back.[/QUOTE]Ever hear the story about the farmer's daughter?

Oh, do tell Shane.

There once was a farmer who was going away on a business trip. He had a beautiful daughter that most of the townsmen loved. During his trip he had 3 different men check up on her while he was gone and he said to them "If you f'uck my daughter I will kill you". What the men didn't know was that he has inserter a pair of razorblades into her snatch.

A week later the farmer is back and he sees the first man, he tells him to drop his pants and sees that his dick is gone. Man #1 is dead. He sees the next man and asks him to also drop his pants, and once again sees a missing dong. Man #2: Dead. Now here comes the third man. The farmer stops him and says drop your pants and sees his dick still attatched and looking good ( from a man's perspective, of course ) and says to him "You are a fine gentleman, you didn't f'uck my daughter." Man #3 replies with "Rhell ah curz ah woodent fock er augher" (that's supposed to be jibberish sounding stuff, see who get's it).

I didn't get the joke.

What if man three went up the old dirt road instead?

I didn't get it either.

[QUOTE=Sid]I didn't get the joke.

What if man three went up the old dirt road instead?[/QUOTE]His tongue got cut off.

Ohhhh, HAHA!

SHANE HAS WON US BACK!

Haha, nice. I guess you'd have to see the person say it to get it.

Yeeeah, gotta love middleschool with that joke!

Tell us another, funny man.

I can't think of many with story lines right now....sooooo

What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheelchair?






































Roll-Aids

Haha, i've heard that one before. But instead it was about a queer and rollerskates.

More jokes please :naughty:

Little kid jokes are where it's at.

Where do you put an army?










IN A SLEEVE-Y

Reiner, are you on Soulseek? I want to download the Breakout from you.

That was so dumb, I actually did laugh.

Score

[QUOTE=victimofreality]Reiner, are you on Soulseek? I want to download the Breakout from you.[/QUOTE]Nah, not right now. I'll be on tomorrow (well technically today) after my family leaves.

What's the difference between Batman and a black man?

Batman can go out without robbin'

What's the difference between a black person and a snow tire?

The tire won't start singing when you put chains on it.

[B]My Lame Joke Of The Day That I Stole[/B]

A 95-year-old man enters a bar and approaches the sleaziest woman there." Have you ever tried having sex with an old man?" "No, I haven't," she admits, and the two head home, where the woman has the best sex ever. Afterward, the old man turns to her and says, "If you think that was good, let me sleep for half an hour, then we'll do it again. But while I'm sleeping, I need you to hold my testicles in your left hand and my ***** in your right hand." Confused, she agrees, and after 30mins, the old man wakes and they go at it - this time better than before. "That was wonderful," the old man says. "But if you let me sleep for an hour, again holding my genitals, we can have the best sex yet." The woman agrees, but she's curious. "Does holding your balls in my left hand and your ***** in my right stimulate you while you're sleeping?" The old man shakes his head. "No, but last time I slept with a girl as skanky as you, she stole my wallet."

[QUOTE=Sk8SkaNJ]Nah, not right now. I'll be on tomorrow (well technically today) after my family leaves.[/QUOTE]
Someone should let me in the secret room. I have been good.

How do you get a baby out of a tree?
Give a mexican a stick and tell him its a pinata

how do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?

nail it's other hand to the floor

Why are turtles green?
because i painted it green.

well i painted steve green.

why? why would you do such a thing?

er long story. band name.

woohoo you answered it seriously that's what i was hoping for

[url]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v201/Skrunnch/Album/Album/Me.jpg[/url]

[url]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v201/Skrunnch/Album/Album/Me2.jpg[/url]

Your First Shirt Says Mom! And Telling From Your Other One You Killed Someone!!

[QUOTE=lynch_me]Your First Shirt Says Mom! And Telling From Your Other One You Killed Someone!![/QUOTE]


My mom is so hawt. That's why I wear a shirt that says mom.

it doesn't even say mom it says NIM

New joke.


For a man's 45th birthday he get's a facelift. After the procedure all is well and he feels like showing off to people. So he goes to buy a new shirt and at the register he asks the man, "How old would you say I am?". The man at the register replies with 40 and is corrected with 45. After this he goes to to McDonalds to get some food, at the counter he asks the girl the same thing and she answers with 30. The man tells her 45 and walks out satisfied. At the busstop he sees this old woman waiting and walks up to her "You look extremly old and wise, how old would you say I am?" and the old woman says, "Because of my age, my eyes have failed me, but I can tell any man's age after feeling his balls." The man looks around to make sure no one is looking and says "Go for it". The old woman slips her hand in his pants and fondles his balls for a couple minutes and says "Ah, you are 45!". "That's amazing!" the man says, "How did you do it?". The old woman says "I was behind you in McDonald's"

whats worse than a pile of dead babies?



one in the middle trying to eat its way out

[QUOTE=superskankinactionhero]it doesn't even say mom it says NIM[/QUOTE]


Right, F-Minus.

[QUOTE=Ska_Pirate]whats worse than a pile of dead babies?



one in the middle trying to eat its way out[/QUOTE]
What's worse than that?











He came back for more.