"...the Mikado is an extremely dainty little biscuit. I suspect that it is actually a fairly near relative to the Pretzel, given its diameter. In fact if you unrolled a Pretzel knocked off those big salt grains and dipped it in chocolate you would get something almost identical. You would, of course, also have amazing powers of biscuit straightening, which I hope you would use to fight crime and injustice in the world, although the opportunity would probably never arise. Also I do know you can get chocolate covered Pretzels."

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha...I have no response :amaze:

:thumb:

-Gav

Haha this man is one funny cookie.






















[size=10]I MADE A PUN.[/size]

*Drools and paws screen with hand.* Ehr.

This may be the best article ever written...

"We don't shy away from the really controversial issues on NiceCupOfTeaAndASitDown and just when it looked like the whole 'Have Wagon Wheels got smaller' thing was about die a natural and dignified death, we un-earthed our packet of Australian Wagon Wheels. Made by Weston's and with a direct blood line to our own Burton's Wagon Wheel, you may be shocked at what we found. Well not shocked, maybe just mildly surprised.

There once was a mighty biscuit baron called Garfield Weston. An entrepreneurial Canadian, he made a fortune out of supplying biscuits to the forces during the war and had a facility in Slough. Mr Weston had three sons. One son inherited the UK business, one had the Canadian, and the other Weston got Australia. Which is why in each country one can find the Wagon Wheel, that ground breaking biscuit from the 1950s. Reputed to be the brain child of Garry Weston, the UK son, they were originally sold in the UK as Weston's Wagon Wheels.

Compared to our Wagon Wheels a few striking differences are apparent (Pictured along side the UK version is at the top). The first is that these Australian Wagon Wheels are fitted with Jam as standard. The Jam is quite retro compared to the leading edge stuff in our own jammy version of the Wagon Wheel, lacking as it does glucose, glycerol and something else, I forget now. Additionally our Wagon Wheels feature simulated 'Raspberry Jam', made of course from plums. Its antipodean cousin uses apples and plums and is quite happy to use the broader moniker of 'Jam'. Also its placement is different as we'll expand on a little more in a minute.

The infamous crimped edge, casualty of the move from Slough to Llantarnam South Wales, is still here like some living fossil, an echo of a distant age of giant biscuits. As I regard its whimsical form I feel possibly like that bloke Doug McClure played in the 'Land that Time Forgot' when the Pterodactyl is going for him. Or maybe Bob Hoskins in the recent TV adaption of Conan Doyles 'The Lost World', again when the slightly more convincing, less rubbery towed on a wire Pterodactyls are going for him.

And now to the truly shocking bit. The Antipodean biscuit is packing an impressive diameter of 88mm, thats a whole 14mm bigger than our version. However the plucky Brit comes right back at its foreign cousin with a depth of approximately 15mm compared to 11mm. In fact the Aussie Wagon Wheel has some of the thinest mallow I've ever witnessed. The engineering required to produce mallow at these remarkable tolerances surely has to be a credit to Australian ingenuity. I'm sure if NASA had to produce some sort of super thin mallow based biscuit for use in space, as say a solar sail then they would be down to Oz like a shot.

The Westons Wagon Wheel lacks the deep gully round its edge familiar to us. Perhaps this goes some way to explaining its approximately 20% greater mass compared to own Wagon Wheel.

'Yes, yes, but what does it taste like?' I tend to hear you cry round about this bit of the biscuit review. Well its most definitely a Wagon Wheel. All the classic components are there, the chocolate flavoured coating, which appeared a bit darker than our own, more cocoa perhaps? There's that peculiar vaguely stale biscuit and as we have mentioned a quantity of mallow. However there is a definite difference and I think this comes mainly from the jam and its placement. In our own Wagon Wheel the jam is entirely enclosed in mallow forming a small flat central reservoir. In the Westons it is applied directly to the bottom biscuit. The result is definitely easier on the palate. I even believed at one point that I detected a Raspberry pip, even though I knew that this was just a cunning illusion woven for me by far distant jam engineers."

This is sad...scientists are writing papers on possible cures for cances and AIDS, and these people are writing biscuit reviews.

Kids our ages are out having fun, and we're laughing at biscuit reviews online...:lol:

:thumb:

-Gav

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[QUOTE=gaslight]How many of you guys have microphones on your PC.

We could have casual chats using Ventrilo.[/QUOTE]

I don't but I should be getting one soon.

And I'll have you know that no aim is so laudable as the invention of the perfect biscuit... one that reaches that state of dunked deliciousness without ever reaching that dreadful point of no return where you just know that the moment you pull it out it's going to break and fall in your tea and make a nasty sediment.

Yeah man, I hate it when my biscuit ends up in my tea.

Even worse, when you don't realise it has, and your last mouthful is sludge.

:lol: Your awsome Winter.

Hey someone reccomend me a band. I just started downloading some mew songs, theyre pretty cool.

I may have to set up some form of research fund for Biscuit Dunkophysics.

Observe the user title, if you will.

[QUOTE=Wintermute]I don't but I should be getting one soon.

And I'll have you know that no aim is so laudable as the invention of the perfect biscuit... one that reaches that state of dunked deliciousness without ever reaching that dreadful point of no return where you just know that the moment you pull it out it's going to break and fall in your tea and make a nasty sediment.[/QUOTE]

Oh yes...I hate that.

I don't really eat biscuits when I drink tea. I have no time. I just make it really fast and drink it when I'm doing homework. I should start eating biscuits. Any suggestions on very good ones I could find in America?

:thumb:

-Gav

[QUOTE=Wintermute]I don't but I should be getting one soon.

And I'll have you know that no aim is so laudable as the invention of the perfect biscuit... one that reaches that state of dunked deliciousness without ever reaching that dreadful point of no return where you just know that the moment you pull it out it's going to break and fall in your tea and make a nasty sediment.[/QUOTE]
That happens to me with oreos and milk... you know they are milks favorite cookie when the milk snatches it out of your grasp and into the white depths below

Nice Winter.

[QUOTE=Wintermute]I may have to set up some form of research fund for Biscuit Dunkophysics.

Observe the user title, if you will.[/QUOTE]

Oh snap, that made my confidence go from 0.1 to about 12.

...Now expect that user title to stay there for about 3 hours :p.

:thumb:

-Gav

[QUOTE=coddingtown]That happens to me with oreos and milk... you know they are milks favorite cookie when the milk snatches it out of your grasp and into the white depths below[/QUOTE]

WHITE DEVIL! :evil:

:thumb:

-Gav

Have a browse through the reviews, they do biscuits from all around the world. They did come down on the Oreo a bit though.

[QUOTE=coddingtown]Hey someone reccomend me a band. I just started downloading some mew songs, theyre pretty cool.[/QUOTE]

Million Dead are now my favourite punk-ish band ever.

Get their album [i][u]A Song To Ruin[/i][/u] and the single [i][u]I Gave My Eyes To Stevie Wonder[/i][/u].

[QUOTE=coddingtown]That happens to me with oreos and milk... you know they are milks favorite cookie when the milk snatches it out of your grasp and into the white depths below[/QUOTE]

You're in over your head, lad...

howbout lactose infested waters below?

How does someone in the Uk know so much about Australian Biscuits

[QUOTE=coddingtown]howbout lactose infested waters below?[/QUOTE]

:lol:

:thumb:

-Gav

[QUOTE=gaslight]Million Dead are now my favourite punk-ish band ever.

Get their album [i][u]A Song To Ruin[/i][/u] and the single [i][u]I Gave My Eyes To Stevie Wonder[/i][/u].[/QUOTE]
Im not a big punk fan, but Ill give those two a listen, thanks

[QUOTE=coddingtown]That happens to me with oreos and milk... you know they are milks favorite cookie when the milk snatches it out of your grasp and into the white depths below[/QUOTE]

:lol:

[QUOTE=coddingtown]Im not a big punk fan, but Ill give those two a listen, thanks[/QUOTE]

I'm not much of a punk fan either, except for these guys. I love their lyrics, so much.

:thumb:

"Walt Disney is pushing social and sexual hierarchy..."
"Willy Wonka was a capitalist confidence trickster, a poster boy for neo-liberalism, a full stop on revolt, you see the BFG are propagandists for an accountable regime..."

It's funny as but also has clever bits. Like, really clever.

[QUOTE=coddingtown]howbout lactose infested waters below?[/QUOTE]

I meant milk and oreos, but yeah, I approve of the lactose infested deeps.

Hmm... I'm going to go make a cuppa.

Its kind of sad when we end up reviewing biscuits

^ Everyone knows biscuits and tea could totally beat up oreo and milk any day :rolleyes:

:thumb:

-Gav

Any other bands I should check out? Preferably not emo or metal unless they are really good

[QUOTE=blizzard]Its kind of sad when we end up reviewing biscuits[/QUOTE]


Get the hell out of my thread :angry: :angry: