[QUOTE=allalone]You're right. I just... need something to boost my confidence.[/QUOTE]

Well, you know... :thumb:
Honestly, you'll find that confidence booster, but don't rely it on a girl to boost yer confidence.

[QUOTE=franpgb]Well, you know... :thumb:
Honestly, you'll find that confidence booster, but don't rely it on a girl to boost yer confidence.[/QUOTE]
Hopefully.

[QUOTE=allalone]Hopefully.[/QUOTE]

Wrong answer. Cor.
Steps To Be Confidet, Number 1:
Don't say hopefully
YES YOU WILL.
Say yes you will to yourself everyday and you'll beleive it and it will happen one day.
Does no one have relationship problems? This may turn into a problems thread!!...have to re-name it.

But if I feel confident then I feel conceited and I hate people who are conceited.

[QUOTE=allalone]But if I feel confident then I feel conceited and I hate people who are conceited.[/QUOTE]
There's a big difference between confidence and conceit.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Sorry, son, I didn't see this last night.

If you're not sleeping, eating, breathing this girl then it's not really love. And probably won't ever be. The fact that you get sick of her tells me that to pursue a life with her would be disastrous.

Leave it, and move on.[/QUOTE]
Thanks :) I'm wary of trusting other student's thoughts on the subject, even if they're all consistent.

[QUOTE=allalone]I guess so. I think I know what the real reason for this is. I don't know how to talk to girls. I have no self-confidence to talk to girls either. So I guess that if I have a nice body then more girls will come up and talk to me. Because I can't talk to girls. I can't go up and talk to them.[/QUOTE]

That's another fallacy. Woody Allen was right when he said 90% of success is just showing up. Women won't come to you. You need to go to the women.

And in either case, you still need to give them a reason to stick around other than your buns of steel.

As I've said, women place a higher value on personality than looks.

Talk to women you already know. Just say hi to women you don't know but made eye contact with. The first time you make eye contact with [i]anybody[/i], hold it until they look away first.

[QUOTE=allalone]But if I feel confident then I feel conceited and I hate people who are conceited.[/QUOTE]

That's a myth that needs to be done away with. People who are conceited think that they are perfect already and never seek to continue evolving as a person. They think the world revolves around them. They think that they are the most fascinating subject in the world.

A confident person has a realistic assessment of their strengths and weaknesses, and knows how to maximize the strengths and minimize the weaknesses. A confident person will speak boastfully of himself, but in a joking way that shows he's not being serious. He'll tease other people, but not in a mean way, but in a friendly way.

Millions of years of evolution have gone into making men non-stop machines of ball-busting bravado. We're designed to strive for self-improvement at every step and compete with one another in a form of friendly rivalry. Our ultimate goal is to become so secure in our skills, talents, and abilities that we assume the role of leaders in our respective packs, guiding others of our species to the higher levels we achieved through hard work and passing on our strong genes and ethics onto the next generation.

So be a man the way nature intended you to.

^ Informative.

Hi, guys.

:wave:

hey mommy!

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Hi, guys.

:wave:[/QUOTE]


Hey Kimmie. How was ur day?

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Hi, guys.

:wave:[/QUOTE]
:wave:

Hey baby.

Hi, my kids.

My day was good, Jon, in spite of my payroll problems today at work.

*pounds payroll program*


EDIT: kisses to Mitch.

[QUOTE=allalone]But if I feel confident then I feel conceited and I hate people who are conceited.[/QUOTE]

same here

its a big problem with me too :/

hi kimmie

work was pretty good today, went by fast. At one point I felt so much at peace with myself and the world around me I layed down on a bench and just started thinking of all the great things in life, it was extremely refreshing. :)

...but then my boss came around the corner and I moved up really fast and he just started laughing :- O He just laughed and told me not to make a habit of it


..but now, i dont know why. But I feel depressed, like my world is changing so much right now, what a contrast :/

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Hi, my kids.

My day was good, Jon, in spite of my payroll problems today at work.

*pounds payroll program*


EDIT: kisses to Mitch.[/QUOTE]



Im sorry :(
Today was okay for me.
Lately i have tried not to think about things to much and keep things simple and its helping me not worry which is really nice.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Hi, my kids.

My day was good, Jon, in spite of my payroll problems today at work.

*pounds payroll program*


EDIT: kisses to Mitch.[/QUOTE]
Damn that bastardly payroll program.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Hi, guys.

:wave:[/QUOTE]

Yo what's good.

[QUOTE=spitfirejunky]Yo what's good.[/QUOTE]

Lots of good stuff. I have my Tiger staying with me...the weather is pretty good...my dog is awesome...I cooked a great dinner...

What's good with everyone else?

I got my youth group tonight, which sounds gay, but i haven't been able to go 4 a while, and i hav heaps of fun there:D

EDIT: and good for you, and i'm happy for you:wave:

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Lots of good stuff. I have my Tiger staying with me...the weather is pretty good...my dog is awesome...I cooked a great dinner...

What's good with everyone else?[/QUOTE]
How's Zack doing?

Good hopefully. I wish I could do what he's doing :(

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Lots of good stuff. I have my Tiger staying with me...the weather is pretty good...my dog is awesome...I cooked a great dinner...

What's good with everyone else?[/QUOTE]

Got my second phys-chem midterm coming up, followed by kinetics and music. Been studying since forever.

/inexactdifferentialown'd

On another note, got my 4th date this Saturday with my significant other. :)

[QUOTE=Wizard.]Yo, this girl Kristen has some real paranoia issues. Apparently, Brit message her on MSN and said if Kristen touched me she'd tear her apart, and kristen is takign it way too seriously.

Come on, the girls in Florida. I told her that, and that I would never let Brit do anything, even if she got the guts. Said brit was just a trash talker and an attention whore. but the girls still worrying about it. What do I to calm her down? I hope I'm not leaving one crazy girl just to get another. gawd.[/QUOTE]
nah this new girl sounds betta than brit, but how does brit know about the new girl, hmmmm?

Well no offense, but Brit sounds pretty pyschotic, I would prolly be paranoid too - kinda. I mean, it is natural for her to feel threaten and confused so I dont think you should just brush it off.

Well, I dont know how "paranoid" you are talking...is she staying inside her hosue and shes scared or in just a general worry?

The only thing is you DONT want your drama from Brit to carry on to this new girl. It isnt fair to you, nor to the new girl either. Maybe you should talk to the loonie tune and tell her to eff off completely. No support, no help, no contact, no nothing. By threatening someone else, it shows there is no point in helping her.

If it persists with either you or the new girl, I would say to contact the authorities for a restraining order. Not necessarily for protection, but to smack a wake up call into the basketcase.

Nevermind the post I had here, I couldn't word it right.

Kristen seems to be extremely paranoid and worries about everything, like me simply not having contact with her for a day. She's also pretty damned clingy, but I don't mind that. But right now, she's upset simply because Brit doesn't like her, and threatened to "tear her apart". They're 900 miles apart, and Kristen is afraid of this trash-talking attention whore.

Will this little paranoia issue cause much drama? I want to know before I get involved with another crazy girl or something. Maybe I should end this before I get involved with her.

Brit already knew about Kristen, just didn't know I was getting involved with her 'til I told her I kissed her.

I told Brit to f*ck off already. She just doesn't listen. I'm not worried about her really, she'll get bored and back off eventually. But Kristen was really stressing out about a threat made by a girl 900 miles away. Plus just the way she acts. She's like a mouse that's afraid to have fun or anything.

I just don't want another crazy girl, and apparently I'm not too good at picking them, so I was just wondering if these are bad signs or anything.

[QUOTE=Wizard.]Nevermind the post I had here, I couldn't word it right.

Kristen seems to be extremely paranoid and worries about everything, like me simply not having contact with her for a day. She's also pretty damned clingy, but I don't mind that. But right now, she's upset simply because Brit doesn't like her, and threatened to "tear her apart". They're 900 miles apart, and Kristen is afraid of this trash-talking attention whore.

Will this little paranoia issue cause much drama? I want to know before I get involved with another crazy girl or something. Maybe I should end this before I get involved with her.[/QUOTE]

Paranoia, people can get over.

But if shes clingy, you dont mind it now...but that is the hint to a start of a unhealthy relationship..esp because you just shacked up with this one.

But really, I would do something to stop Brit, it isnt fair to Kristen that she has to be taunted or threatened by some old idiot.

Nah, Brit will stop. As long as kristen doesn't respond she'll assume she "won" or whatever and eventually drop it. Kristen won't respond to her or anything. the first thing she did was come whining to me about it.

Oh, I didn't shack up with the girl. We haven't gone past making out and hanging out alot.

[QUOTE=Wizard.]Nah, Brit will stop. As long as kristen doesn't respond she'll assume she "won" or whatever and eventually drop it. Kristen won't respond to her or anything. the first thing she did was come whining to me about it.

Oh, I didn't shack up with the girl. We haven't gone past making out and hanging out alot.[/QUOTE]

Well I didnt mean you banged her or anything. Im just saying I think it is really early in a relationship to become so attached to someone :S Im goign to guess you/her/both of you are about 15 or 16?

I'm 17, she's 16, almost 17. She's a sweet girl and all, but really quite and reclusive, and paranoid. I thought that would be a bigger deal than her being clingy. I don't really mind it, since I am too, if i think I love someone.

What issues will clinginess cause though?

[QUOTE=Wizard.]I'm 17, she's 16, almost 17. She's a sweet girl and all, but really quite and reclusive, and paranoid. I thought that would be a bigger deal than her being clingy. I don't really mind it, since I am too, if i think I love someone.[/QUOTE]

NO NO NO NO

Okay, Lesson #1 : Listen up this is helpful.

It takes more than a couple months of you being with someone to develop a sense of "love". Now, clingyness is never okay and I dont know why it is so accepted. Im not just directing that at you, but clingyness shows signs of insecurity, self consciousness, untrusting, vunerable - None which are good traits. You can be in a serious relationship without the need to talk/be with the person every moment of every day. Just remember that.
I was in a clingy relationship before and it ended up being the worst thing ever. Allow each other to have space, time and hobbies outside one another.


And I think if you already have issues with this new girl, which all seem pretty big, dont lead her on and break it off with her.
I dont know whether or not you are trying to give excuses for Brit's behaviour or if you actually think it is ridiculous for someone to feel paranoid if they are being threatened (regardless of where the other person is)

If she's clingy, that means that as the relationship progresses she's going to get very needy and demanding. There will be times when she starts making unreasonable demands of you, your time, and your resources because she thinks it's needed to keep the relationship going.

She'll also get jealous very easily and over nothing. She'll insist on being the most important person in your life.

I'm generalizing, of course. But when a person is emotionally clingy, there are very few good outcomes.

In regard to your comment that you can't seem to pick 'em too good, think of it like this:

There are those we attract... and those we are attracted to.

In order to make the two mesh requires some conscious effort on your part.

So pretty much, she's going to end up just like Brit did, with me being the bitch and her being obsessed with me. 'Cept this time, I'm not going to have the same feelings for Kristen that I did for Brit. :-/

[QUOTE]And I think if you already have issues with this new girl, which all seem pretty big, dont lead her on and break it off with her.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, that's why I was asking. I don't want to start off a bad relationship, and I don't want to lead her on if I'm not really interested in her.

[QUOTE]I dont know whether or not you are trying to give excuses for Brit's behaviour or if you actually think it is ridiculous for someone to feel paranoid if they are being threatened (regardless of where the other person is)[/QUOTE]I'm not trying to excuse her, I'm just trying to ignore her and put all that crap behind me. Nothing about that relationship was good, and I acted like a moron the majority of the time. I just don't want to make the same mistakes, because some stuff is looking familiar...

So I guess I better end it with Kristen too. That sucks...

[QUOTE=Wizard.]So pretty much, she's going to end up just like Brit did, with me being the bitch and her being obsessed with me. 'Cept this time, I'm not going to have the same feelings for Kristen that I did for Brit. :-/


Yeah, that's why I was asking. I don't want to start off a bad relationship, and I don't want to lead her on if I'm not really interested in her.

I'm not trying to excuse her, I'm just trying to ignore her and put all that crap behind me. Nothing about that relationship was good, and I acted like a moron the majority of the time. I just don't want to make the same mistakes, because some stuff is looking familiar...

So I guess I better end it with Kristen too. That sucks...[/QUOTE]


Well not necessarily. You can nip it in the bud.

If you let her know that it is becoming too serious, too quickly (serious = nice word for smothering) and she is okay with it, than you can continue. If she gets the point that you need your space and shes coming on too strong, than that is good.

My brother didnt nip it in the bud and his gf is completely attached to his hip. So, try and let her down without breaking it off and see how it goes..provided you are still interested in her?

BTW: how long were you with Brit for? Because by reading the posts it seems like you were with her for a while and just recently broke up.. maybe you need some time for yourself? << Just throwing some ideas out there that might help

I was with Brit for a bit over a year, but I've known Kristen at least twice as long, and have sort of been getting interested in Kristen towards the end of my relationship with Brit. We haven't even been broken up for a week actually.

I want some time for myself, but I really like being around Kristen and she's like the sweetest person I know. She seems like someone I'd like to date. I'm sort of using her to get over Brit, I guess. Sounds bad now that I think about it.

I guess i can just talk to her. We aren't dating, we've just been having fun together, so that will seem a bit weird trying to explain that it's getting too serious when we aren't even dating.

Should I stop seeing kristen maybe? Now that I think about it, I am probably seeing her for the wrong reasons. I really do like her though, other than the mousiness.

[SIZE="1"](sorry if I still sound whiney. I'm trying to end my whiney ways, but I want to make sure I don't make the same mistakes)[/SIZE]

[QUOTE=Wizard.]I was with Brit for a bit over a year, but I've known Kristen at least twice as long, and have sort of been getting interested in Kristen towards the end of my relationship with Brit. We haven't even been broken up for a week actually.

I want some time for myself, but I really like being around Kristen and she's like the sweetest person I know. She seems like someone I'd like to date. I'm sort of using her to get over Brit, I guess. Sounds bad now that I think about it.

I guess i can just talk to her. We aren't dating, we've just been having fun together, so that will seem a bit weird trying to explain that it's getting too serious when we aren't even dating.

Should I stop seeing kristen maybe? Now that I think about it, I am probably seeing her for the wrong reasons. I really do like her though, other than the mousiness.[/QUOTE]

Well, its good that youve known her for a while and already know that she is a good person. And I think if you just explained to her that youjust got out of a long, hard relationship (which she is already aware of) and just want some time before jumping into a new one, Im sure she would understand.

Since you even said that you found interest in Kristen towards the end of your relationship with Brit, there is no doubt that there are feelings there. But you have been through a lot the last few weeks, and maybe you just need some time to reflect on what happened and come to a conclusion/ self peace with the situation before getting into a new relationship.

The best way to start off a relationship is with a clean slate. No rainy clouds of past relationships hovering over your shoulders. No grudges, burdens or bad feelings. Just enjoying someone elses company in a drama free environment is the most successful way to go about it.

And Im speaking from complete experience, I jumped into a relatioship that (looking back on it) was doomed from the start with all the drama and crap that came with it.

If you can get over what happened with Brit and just become happy with being who you are, without a girlfriend, you will find a new relationship may be a really welcoming thing.

Relationships are not suppose to start out stressful, those are suppose to be the best times!

In conclusion, just talk to Kristen and see what happens.

Alright thanks. I'll tell her that I want to stay friends with her for now, that I just want to have fun before I get into anything more serious, since I still need to get over Brit. I'm sure she'll understand, and I doubt she'll object.

Thanks. :)

Wow. Good advice from Nicole.

Really, D, Nicole's right, you need to talk to Kristen because she's moving way too fast.

Would it be better to call her after school today or when I see her friday? I hate doing things over the phone personally, but sooner may be better.

Friday's only two days away; I suppose it would be all right to wait until then.

[QUOTE=Wizard.]Would it be better to call her after school today or when I see her friday? I hate doing things over the phone personally, but sooner may be better.[/QUOTE]
Doing it in person is much better.

How goes it with Pamela, Mitch?