I cant get over this girl, shes been all I've persued for three months and she keeps leading me on than putting me down. It's not that shes a horrible selfcentered person its just shes been sheltered her whole life and every guy seems to have a crush on her and she has a really flirtatous personallity. She says I'm her best friend and closer to her than practically all her girl friends and she says I'm the only guy that treats her different etc and respects her etc... She knows my feelings for her and that I love her and than she said she loved me and wanted to be with me and than the next day she says she changed her mind and didnt want to be more than just best friends.

I mean c'mon this sucks guys and I dont know what to do anymore cause I have really strong feelings for her but she doesnt want a boyfriend now and it just is bad. She also has a rep for playing with guys and I think I just got played...

I'm majorly just venting here but any advice is greatly appreciated and thanks in advance.

Move on. She's not worth the hassle.

[QUOTE=AtomShip]She also has a rep for playing with guys and I think I just got played...[/QUOTE]

That tells you all you need to know. Leave her well alone. You'll get over her eventually.

[QUOTE=AtomShip]I mean c'mon this sucks guys and I dont know what to do anymore cause I have really strong feelings for her but she doesnt want a boyfriend now and it just is bad. She also has a rep for playing with guys and I think I just got played...[/QUOTE]

This doesn't sound like something worth going for. She'll most likely continually let you down. Your best bet is to just remain friends with her but move on and look for another girl for a relationship.

[QUOTE=AtomShip]shes been all I've persued for three months[/quote]

Ouch. Right from the moment I read this part, I knew it was going to be bad.

[quote]and she keeps leading me on than putting me down. It's not that shes a horrible selfcentered person its just shes been sheltered her whole life and every guy seems to have a crush on her and she has a really flirtatous personallity. She says I'm her best friend and closer to her than practically all her girl friends and she says I'm the only guy that treats her different etc and respects her etc... She knows my feelings for her and that I love her and than she said she loved me and wanted to be with me and than the next day she says she changed her mind and didnt want to be more than just best friends.

I mean c'mon this sucks guys and I dont know what to do anymore cause I have really strong feelings for her but she doesnt want a boyfriend now and it just is bad. She also has a rep for playing with guys and I think I just got played...

I'm majorly just venting here but any advice is greatly appreciated and thanks in advance.[/QUOTE]

And I was right.

If you want women to date you, stop acting like one of their girlfriends. Contrary to most male fantasies, women don't get together to make out with each other. Acting like a girl around her is not going to make her want to be with you. Start being an alpha male.

Start flirting with other women. You'll get over it.

[QUOTE=AtomShip]....[/QUOTE]
hey is doing what you've been doing working to attract her

no

so stop doing it

she can have anyone she wants. she doesn't want someone who chases her and throws himself at her.

BE DIFFERENT than other guys

[QUOTE=Steerpike]If you want women to date you, stop acting like one of their girlfriends.[/QUOTE]


This has got to be some of the best advice I've seen in here.

Acting like one of their girlfriends puts you squarely in the "friends only" category. Never to escape.

I hate the "friends only" category when you're really pursuing somebody. It's such a bitch to hear.
"You're a great friend, but I think that's as far as it should go."
:upset:

No you got me all wrong, I'm not a little girl around her, like shes come to me to talk to not the other way around and what I've been doing HAS been different than every other guy. They all want to get with her and she doesnt want to get with anyone unless she really 100% likes them. I think she doesnt want to date me for the fear of losing my friendship cause she likes the support I give her, so I'm gonna take your advice and distance her from me and maybe she'll get mad and come after me? I been going after her for too long its time for her to make the next move. so cheers guys and thanks.

[QUOTE=Tillius]I hate the "friends only" category when you're really pursuing somebody. It's such a bitch to hear.
"You're a great friend, but I think that's as far as it should go."
:upset:[/QUOTE]

YEAH I know!. Over the weekend she was like all in love with me and I was "all she could think about" than monday she was like "well I thought it over and I was just 'caught in the moment' and I like you only as a best friend" I was like c'mon can you make it more obvious that your a psycho bitch who just walks all over guys?!

I'm just p.o'd.

[QUOTE=AtomShip]YEAH I know!. Over the weekend she was like all in love with me and I was "all she could think about" [/QUOTE]
next time she's like that tell her you only like her as a friend

[QUOTE=AtomShip]YEAH I know!. Over the weekend she was like all in love with me and I was "all she could think about" than monday she was like "well I thought it over and I was just 'caught in the moment' and I like you only as a best friend" I was like c'mon can you make it more obvious that your a psycho bitch who just walks all over guys?!

I'm just p.o'd.[/QUOTE]
That's a bitch, but that's girls for ya. They love to play with guys' heads.

[QUOTE=AtomShip]YEAH I know!. Over the weekend she was like all in love with me and I was "all she could think about" than monday she was like "well I thought it over and I was just 'caught in the moment' and I like you only as a best friend" I was like c'mon can you make it more obvious that your a psycho bitch who just walks all over guys?!

I'm just p.o'd.[/QUOTE]

Caught in the moment. That's a new one.

Anyway, you've been pursuing her for three months. [i]Don't do that[/i]. Never pursue. Get her attention and make her come to you.

mhm I'm so naive haha. Well I'm feeling better cause I realize that its not that she doesnt like me its that she doesnt want a boyfriend (shes been through quite a few int he past year). And this guy who hates me she did the same thing to that she did to me and I noticed that we're both too cocky and testosterone driven to realize that she doesnt want a guy now and we were better off just playin it cool all along.

[QUOTE=Tillius]That's a bitch, but that's girls for ya. They love to play with guys' heads.[/QUOTE]

They only play mindgames because it gives them an edge. Because guys aren't naturally inclined to play those games. It's not the fault of women, it's the fault of men for not endeavoring to level the playing field.

[QUOTE=Steerpike]They only play mindgames because it gives them an edge. Because guys aren't naturally inclined to play those games. It's not the fault of women, it's the fault of men for not endeavoring to level the playing field.[/QUOTE]
True true.
As men, we can be idiots quite often.


BTW, I tried that trick you told me and failed miserably. :lol:

Well hello again and i had a change of mind ever since yesterday...the reason for this is because of you guys and my friend rey. Well he helped me think about some stuff.I made a decision today in the morning as i woke up...that i would be her friend as long as she wanted to be my friend...seeing as i've ****ed up her other friendships...I feel bad and i really want to do something to make her feel happy...well since we don't have each other in classes, we saw each other in breaking periods...and I forgot that we broke up and the pain i had during those 2-4 minutes that i spent with her, we were playing around...but i'm gonna try and stop badgering her...it's worthless...i still love her...i told her i still did...and maybe that's a bad thing but i still do...and i don't know, should i call her or shouldn't i? i just don't want to forget about her.I want to make her as happy as I can since i've ****ed up so much for her.I still want her in my life...is this a good thing i'm doing? It makes me hurt but i think she really needs a friend right now...any advice on what i'm doing wrong?

My mind is pissing me off.

Im keeping thinking my gf doesnt like me for some stupid random reasons that i dont even know are. My mind is making me mad.

Is this like a symptom or something. Or is my mind just f[B]u[/B]cking with me.

[QUOTE=Destined_for]My mind is pissing me off.

Im keeping thinking my gf doesnt like me for some stupid random reasons that i dont even know are. My mind is making me mad.

Is this like a symptom or something. Or is my mind just f[B]u[/B]cking with me.[/QUOTE]
Are there ANY reasons you could tell us for these feelings?

[QUOTE=Tillius]Are there ANY reasons you could tell us for these feelings?[/QUOTE]


Well im always paranoid about everything.
I guess i really dont trust anybody.
But i do trust the girl im with.
Were perfect for each other
I just think that just randomly she wont like me.

EDIT: I know its all in my mind. Do i have a disorder or something?

[QUOTE=man_with_bass]Well hello again and i had a change of mind ever since yesterday...the reason for this is because of you guys and my friend rey. Well he helped me think about some stuff.I made a decision today in the morning as i woke up...that i would be her friend as long as she wanted to be my friend...seeing as i've ****ed up her other friendships...I feel bad and i really want to do something to make her feel happy...well since we don't have each other in classes, we saw each other in breaking periods...and I forgot that we broke up and the pain i had during those 2-4 minutes that i spent with her, we were playing around...but i'm gonna try and stop badgering her...it's worthless...i still love her...i told her i still did...and maybe that's a bad thing but i still do...and i don't know, should i call her or shouldn't i? i just don't want to forget about her.I want to make her as happy as I can since i've ****ed up so much for her.I still want her in my life...is this a good thing i'm doing? It makes me hurt but i think she really needs a friend right now...any advice on what i'm doing wrong?[/QUOTE]

What exactly did you do to screw up her other friendships?

[QUOTE=Destined_for]Well im always paranoid about everything.
I guess i really dont trust anybody.
But i do trust the girl im with.
Were perfect for each other
I just think that just randomly she wont like me.[/QUOTE]
Well, that's normal for a lot of guys. Maybe you just have a hint of jealousy issues, and yes, paranoia. If it ever gets so bad that you truly without a doubt believe that she feels like this, then talk to her about it.

/hates your avatar

EDIT: No, it's not a disorder.

[QUOTE=Tillius]Well, that's normal for a lot of guys. Maybe you just have a hint of jealousy issues, and yes, paranoia. If it ever gets so bad that you truly without a doubt believe that she feels like this, then talk to her about it.

/hates your avatar

EDIT: No, it's not a disorder.[/QUOTE]


Okay. What are somethings that she would do to show me that she doesnt like me anymore? Like actions or something. Or when i talk to her on the phone. Im just so paranoid about everything.

[QUOTE=Destined_for]Okay. What are somethings that she would do to show me that she doesnt like me anymore? Like actions.[/QUOTE]
Well, when you try to kiss her, she may turn away a little. Or, if you do kiss her, it may, how do I best say this, [I]feel different.[/I] Or, if you're going in to kiss her, she may have a weird expression before doing it.
Also, if she seems to avoid you a bit in the hallways or anything, that may be a good sign.
Also, try to take note on how she talks to you. If she talks differently or acts weird, then that's obviously a sign.

[QUOTE=Tillius]Well, when you try to kiss her, she may turn away a little. Or, if you do kiss her, it may, how do I best say this, [I]feel different.[/I] Or, if you're going in to kiss her, she may have a weird expression before doing it.
Also, if she seems to avoid you a bit in the hallways or anything, that may be a good sign.
Also, try to take note on how she talks to you. If she talks differently or acts weird, then that's obviously a sign.[/QUOTE]


Well she doesnt go to my school. When i talk to her would i notice anything. But the thing is that she loves me a lot. a lot a lot. I just have hard time stopping my mind from wondering.

EDIT: And were like perfect for each other. And we are always so sweet to each other and all that good stuff.

[QUOTE=Destined_for]Well she doesnt go to my school. When i talk to her would i notice anything. But the thing is that she loves me a lot. a lot a lot. I just have hard time stopping my mind from wondering.[/QUOTE]
Well then, I'm sure it's just you're subconcious mind playing tricks on you.

[QUOTE=man_with_bass]Well hello again and i had a change of mind ever since yesterday...the reason for this is because of you guys and my friend rey. Well he helped me think about some stuff.I made a decision today in the morning as i woke up...that i would be her friend as long as she wanted to be my friend...seeing as i've ****ed up her other friendships...I feel bad and i really want to do something to make her feel happy...well since we don't have each other in classes, we saw each other in breaking periods...and I forgot that we broke up and the pain i had during those 2-4 minutes that i spent with her, we were playing around...but i'm gonna try and stop badgering her...it's worthless...i still love her...i told her i still did...and maybe that's a bad thing but i still do...and i don't know, should i call her or shouldn't i? i just don't want to forget about her.I want to make her as happy as I can since i've ****ed up so much for her.I still want her in my life...is this a good thing i'm doing? It makes me hurt but i think she really needs a friend right now...any advice on what i'm doing wrong?[/QUOTE]
OK chap... this is what you need to do, having read both your posts.

Firstly, you need to figure out which way round the letters go in "that." It was really irritating trying to read that post at the top of the page. Next, learn about paragraphs. Formal for a message board, sure, but you have no idea how easier your posts would be to read if you broke them up a little bit.

Now, this is going to hurt, but I need to tell you this: Stay away from her. If she's freaked out by you, then calling her, talking to her, or in any way trying to contact her through myspace or anything like that is only going to make matters worse. Whether you love her or not... well you've told her now, and she knows it. She probably won't forget any of this. See where I'm going? THERE IS NO NEED TO TELL HER AGAIN!!!

Honestly I think things have got bad enough to the extent that it's not worth having her in your life, and it's not worth her having you in hers. She needs... ok I'm going to go all insensitive again but this is the truth. You say you want to be her friend and make her as happy as you can, and the fact of the matter is that she doesn't need you right now. She needs a friend who's slightly less ****ed up, (It's not your fault you're ****ed up, it just happened that way because of the break-up,) because this can't be easy for her either and she needs to talk to someone with a clear head. In fact I'm half expecting to see a post from her on this very thread any minute now.

The danger, of course, is this: If you completely shun contact with her, bridges will be burned and will be very hard to repair. If you let her go now, it's unlikely that you'll ever go out again or even be friends again. This has happened to me, though on a less dramatic scale. You might not speak to her again. But from the way things are looking right about now, that may be the better option.

You've totally screwed this up man, and I say that with sympathy rather than spite. It's not going to be easy to recover from this, like you said. But whatever you do, don't go making matters worse. Niether of you needs it right now.

Post back in about a week and tell us how you're getting on.

[QUOTE=Tillius]Well then, I'm sure it's just you're subconcious mind playing tricks on you.[/QUOTE]


It really is. Thats why im wondering if its a disorder.

Here is something i wrote for her and its a poem, here is what she wrote.

I wrote: I am so in love with you.
I would do anything to make you happy
I would do anyting so you would not feel one drop of sadness
Your the most beatuiful girl ever. No exceptions.
I love you with all my heart and all my soul.
Your The best Thing that has ever happened to me.
Your everything i ever dreamed about and wanted in a girl.
I cant stop thinking about you baby.
I just love you so much.
And i want to be with you forever.
I just Love you so much!
You make me feel like the happest guy ever.
I want to hold you and never let go.
I will always be here for you, in times of good and bad.
I love you so damn much.
You have the coolest personality ever. Hands down.
You are my love.
And i love you with all my heart.
Forever

I wrote this poem about you.

I just love you so much.

She wrote: babe your so ****in cute i love you so damn much!

I wrote: And i really mean all the things i said in the poem.
I love you so much.
So ****ing much.
You have no clue how much i love and care about you.
I would do anything for you.
I love u so so so so so so so so so so so so Much!!!!!!
And hopefully we can hang out this weekend cuz i really want to see you so bad!
I love you with all my heart!
Have a good day babe!
Muah!


She wrote: babe your soo cute!
I wouldnt trade you for the world!
your amazing!!
I love you soooooo much!
yeah i really hope i get to see you this weekend too.
I LOVEYOU I LOVEYOU I LOVEYOU


I know that this is no reason to be paranoid.
My mind is just playing tricks on me.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]What exactly did you do to screw up her other friendships?[/QUOTE]

well there was this message that someone wrote to a friend of hers about me(i say someone because i kinda believe taht she didn't write it but i didn't know this at the time) on her myspace.Well it ended up making me feel the worst i've ever felt in my life...and soon enough i started telling our friends about it.I showed them the message and they started to say stuff like "how could she do this?".so they said they weren't gonna talk to her anymore. i called her and she said she didn't write it and i believed her...i only got to tell two of my friends she didn't write it.One of them was important to her because he made her feel happy.He said that he didn't wanna talk to her...i told him to talk to her cuz i wanted her to be happy...i told him to do it for me...taht was yesterday.well today he didn't really talk to her that much and the other friends ignored her so i could kinda tell she was feeling bad..i felt bad for waht i did..What sucks is that word got spread around to my other friends and they don't want to talk to her...so i feel like it's all my fault for doing what i did..i wanna make things better...

[QUOTE=man_with_bass]well there was this message that someone wrote to a friend of hers about me(i say someone because i kinda believe taht she didn't write it but i didn't know this at the time) on her myspace.Well it ended up making me feel the worst i've ever felt in my life...and soon enough i started telling our friends about it.I showed them the message and they started to say stuff like "how could she do this?".so they said they weren't gonna talk to her anymore. i called her and she said she didn't write it and i believed her...i only got to tell two of my friends she didn't write it.One of them was important to her because he made her feel happy.He said that he didn't wanna talk to her...i told him to talk to her cuz i wanted her to be happy...i told him to do it for me...taht was yesterday.well today he didn't really talk to her that much and the other friends ignored her so i could kinda tell she was feeling bad..i felt bad for waht i did..What sucks is that word got spread around to my other friends and they don't want to talk to her...so i feel like it's all my fault for doing what i did..i wanna make things better...[/QUOTE]
To summarise my last post in 2 sentences:

Don't try to make things better. You'll only make them worse.

[QUOTE=Destined_for]It really is. Thats why im wondering if its a disorder.[/QUOTE]
I doubt it.
Many guys have this kinda paranoia about their girls.