That's just the first paragraph. I then go into some more ball metaphors before framing how important and consistently great they are. I just like to frame certain reviews pretty rudely and humorously. It does give me the chance to rant but it also makes sure that it'll be an interesting read (at least I think so).

[QUOTE]Anyways, my point is, and always has been, that Dismember is pretty much the only Swedish death metal band I care about. I could go on about how consistent they are, how important they’ve been or how ****ing good their music is, but I’m not going to do that; at least not yet. No, I’m going to expand on what I briefly said earlier: their balls are huge. Need more proof of this? They put out an album called “Death Metal” 13 years after the legendary Possessed album of the same name dropped and got away with it. I’m telling you, Dismember have balls the size of the Hindenburg. Two of them. For every member. [/QUOTE]

That's the next paragraph, and then I jump into the actual content. I'm just trying to hook people I guess. It's just a first draft (I say that, but usually only change a little bit) so y'never know.

I agree, its a rather novel approach and an interesting read. I like reading on to see where you go with it, its sorta like 'wtf is he on about, lets see him talk his way out of this statement' etc.

I think I've settled on a strong 3.5/5 for the new Dismember. It doesn't hit me as hard as TGTNW, but it's still ****ing awesome.

i agree TGTNW was an amazing album, i would give the new album about the same...maybe a little higher

Still a good score.

And not a lot of great music has come out lately [imo] so itll probably stand proud among the rest.

I was going to go with a 4 but today it just didnt stay as strong front to back. I don't really care about ratings anyways, especially if I'm reviewing it and explaining how i feel better than a totally random and arbitrary number.

[QUOTE=Squirrel;15937218]Still a good score.

And not a lot of great music has come out lately [imo] so itll probably stand proud among the rest.[/QUOTE]

i agree, im getting kinda sick of bands coming out with crap albums, i want these new bands to make something memorable

[quote]Dismember is pretty much the only Swedish death metal band I care about[/quote]whaaaaat

I think I'd give the new Dismember a 4 or so, looking forward to the review.

[QUOTE=VomitStainedCretin;15937053]Reminds me; saw Municipal Waste on Friday, met Landfill (he was probably wasted), my mates mentioned that they had a radio show (which they do on campus) and Landfill gave them Blunted At Birth for free.[/QUOTE]

do you own a denim jacket with band patches and a hat with "SUICIDAL" written on the inside of the bill?

Tyler, you made a few spelling errors in the first paragraph... and I agree on the rating. It just doesn't stick as well as a lot of their other material. Still awesome...

[QUOTE]Putting the Swedish death metal scene into perspective is always fun, and here’s how I like to do it: In Flames are a bunch of pussies, Slaughter of the Soul sucked *** and Dismember have the biggest balls on the planet. I shouldn’t have to say much about the first two: In Flames were barely [B]every[/B] a death metal band (and they pretty much always sucked) and Slaughter [B]at[/B] the Soul was about as uninteresting and overproduced as you can get. To rant for a minute, it’s important to note that Slaughter of the Soul is somehow cherished amongst “death metal” fans, and yet they deem the millions of copy cats it spawned unlistenable, overproduced garbage. It’s funny how that works out. [/QUOTE]

[QUOTE]Death Metal” 13 years after the legendary Possessed album of the same name dropped and got away with it[/QUOTE]
Nitpicky, but Death Metal was a demo, Seven Churches was the album.

[QUOTE=NemesisDivina;15939003]Tyler, you made a few spelling errors in the first paragraph... and I agree on the rating. It just doesn't stick as well as a lot of their other material. Still awesome...[/QUOTE]

Any spelling errors were because I wrote it on the bus, then typed it up real fast before I headed out.

[QUOTE=masscows;15937849]whaaaaat[/QUOTE]
It's pretty much true. It's an exaggeration but as a whole, they're the only Swedish death band who's consistently good. At least the most obvious.

[QUOTE=Deth;15939153]Nitpicky, but Death Metal was a demo, Seven Churches was the album.[/QUOTE]
Same difference, i'll fix it but the context is still the same.

Tyler, it's fixing up to be a damn fine review.

It's mostly just a bunch of ball jokes to be honest

Which make a damn fine review... :rolleyes:

lol

[QUOTE=Bordello;15938153]do you own a denim jacket with band patches and a hat with "SUICIDAL" written on the inside of the bill?[/QUOTE]No; I was wearing a Red Chord t-shirt and my German army jacket - read into that whatever you like.

heilz

amirite

the linden murder rules
[url]http://myspace.com/thelindenmurder[/url]

uh **** that beaner ****, genardo? kevy? angel? faggots

the linden murder is awesome

GET THE HOOD RAT
LAY THE BITCH FLAT

they took that song down :(

lol get the hood rat

classic stuff

******stuff, maybe

no you just have terrible taste in music

im not into xbeanerxcorex etc, sorry

the linden murder isn't even funny, they're just gay

[QUOTE=Niflheim II;15940056]im not into xbeanerxcorex etc, sorry[/QUOTE]

um yeah youre just into stupid mallgoth bands

[QUOTE=i am the robots;15940066]um yeah youre just into stupid mallgoth bands[/QUOTE]

shut up, subhuman