She will remember that forever (thanks, mom).

I dunno how guys think about it, but when a parent doesn't like you, if even for a moment, it's devastating.

The only thing that will fix this is for your mom to apologize.

all my friends, and ex-girlfiends parents like me:cool:

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]She will remember that forever (thanks, mom).

I dunno how guys think about it, but when a parent doesn't like you, if even for a moment, it's devastating.

The only thing that will fix this is for your mom to apologize.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, when a parent doesn't like you, and you know that there's nothing you can do for him/her to change your mind, there's nothing you can do, really.

I worked my way up the ladder once, started from the lowest of lows but did the little things to get them to change their mind about me (luckily, it didn't take much).

Your mom should apologize. Tell her that Sierra was hurt by what she said and it's been affecting both you and her as a result.

If your mom doesn't, that's kind of crappy, but out of your control.

[QUOTE=Jom]Yeah, when a parent doesn't like you, and you know that there's nothing you can do for him/her to change your mind, there's nothing you can do, really.

I worked my way up the ladder once, started from the lowest of lows but did the little things to get them to change their mind about me (luckily, it didn't take much).

Your mom should apologize. Tell her that Sierra was hurt by what she said and it's been affecting both you and her as a result.

If your mom doesn't, that's kind of crappy, but out of your control.[/QUOTE]

If I'd made a nasty remark like that (which sometimes I do) I would apologize. Not to my son, but to his girlfriend. Because I know how much it hurts. And no matter what he says to her, it's not gonna make her feel any better unless mom apologizes.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]If I'd made a nasty remark like that (which sometimes I do) I would apologize. Not to my son, but to his girlfriend. Because I know how much it hurts. And no matter what he says to her, it's not gonna make her feel any better unless mom apologizes.[/QUOTE]
awwww chaindrive = gd mum

[QUOTE=dazmo]awwww chaindrive = gd mum[/QUOTE]

Thanks. I just know how she's feeling.

Jeez, it isn't that hard to grab the phone from your son and apologize.

His mom doesn't know her, so how can she say things against her?

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]If I'd made a nasty remark like that (which sometimes I do) I would apologize. Not to my son, but to his girlfriend. Because I know how much it hurts. And no matter what he says to her, it's not gonna make her feel any better unless mom apologizes.[/QUOTE]

That's what I meant - his mom should apologize to Sierra. If she doesn't do that, that sucks for both of them, but there's nothing Grif can do except apologize on behalf of his mother.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]She will remember that forever (thanks, mom).

I dunno how guys think about it, but when a parent doesn't like you, if even for a moment, it's devastating.

The only thing that will fix this is for your mom to apologize.[/QUOTE]


I think my mom hates me. Every time she speaks to me, it's a negative statement about my lifestyle ... good thing though is that I haven't spoken to her in months and that was only for Christmas. Other than that, the total amount of time I've actually spoken to my mother in the past 4 years would probably total to 5 minutes.



it's bad. :(


(this falls under relationships right? Family relationships.

Eh, I didn't want to post here due to the amount of flaming I'm probably going to get. I don't really care right now. The problem just got way complicated and I need some advice badly. I'll try to keep this short.

My girlfriend send nude pictures to a friend of hers one night. She says she did it for the attention, because we were fighting at the time. This is the same kid I had issues with before, if anyone remembers.

I got pissed, called her a slut and broke up with her, hopefully for good this time. She cries and apologizes and I just speak harshly and eventually hang up on her.

She calls a bit more than an hour later, crying worse than I've ever heard her do. She said alot of things that I couldn't understand, but apparently she's cut herself alot, and called her dad because she was afraid she would kill herself. She used to cut for attention, and it was annoying, but I thought I helped make her stop. I told her that what she did was incredibly stupid, that she just needs to get over this incident and move on, because nothing she says or does is going to make any of this better. Then she hung up.

I get worried, because I didn't take her seriously at first, and started thinking that she really could have hurt herself. So I call again, and her father picks up the phone. We talk briefly and he keeps askign me what we were fighting about, and he kept trying to get me to tell him what she did that pissed me off. I didn't tell him. He gets mad and says he will kill me if anything happens to her and hangs up. During our conversation I keep hearing her screaming for me in the background, and her screaming at her dad to let me talk to her.

So now my options are;

a) Tell her father that she sent nude pics to some other guy over the internet, which pissed em off so I broke up with her. He'll never trust her again, she'll probably be severely punished, and I seriously doubt there will ever be a chance of me and her seeing each other again. The biggest problem with this, is that she may even get more upset, and it may provoke her to actually try to kill herself. She's just whoring for attention right now, but eventually she does get to the point where she stops caring and will try it. I've seen it almost happen myself. I normally flame kids like her, but I can't treat her like that.

b) Don't tell him what happened, he hates me, and we are never allowed to see each other again. She's going to get hospitalized until he's sure she can be trusted without constant supervision. I'm not sure what that would do to her. She'd also be extremely pissed at me, but I can deal with that.

I'm "in love" with her, but I do know I need to break up with her. I can't help but want to be with her 24/7. When we're together, we never have a single problem. I need to break up with her, and find a way to force myself to stick to my word, no matte rhow badly I want her. But I need to stay close enough to make sure she is ok, because she won't do anything as long as she thinks there is still a chance with me. If I were to completely vanish, I'm not sure how she would react at all, and I don't want to risk her doing something stupid...

Please help me out guys without flames. This has the potential to get serious, so I dont' want to risk anything or make the wrong move. My teenage hormones and melodrama always cloud the way I think about things when **** happens. Please point me in the right direction.

well is this the one who lives a couple hours away and you can only see like once a week or so?

No. That's someone else.

ummm maybe you could tell the dad, but still be there for her, but DONT GIVE IN if she wants to get back with you

Go with A, it will be better for her in the long run if her dad knows about her cutting and her other issues.

[QUOTE=Wizard.]Eh, I didn't want to post here due to the amount of flaming I'm probably going to get. I don't really care right now. The problem just got way complicated and I need some advice badly. I'll try to keep this short.

My girlfriend send nude pictures to a friend of hers one night. She says she did it for the attention, because we were fighting at the time. This is the same kid I had issues with before, if anyone remembers.

I got pissed, called her a slut and broke up with her, hopefully for good this time. She cries and apologizes and I just speak harshly and eventually hang up on her.

She calls a bit more than an hour later, crying worse than I've ever heard her do. She said alot of things that I couldn't understand, but apparently she's cut herself alot, and called her dad because she was afraid she would kill herself. She used to cut for attention, and it was annoying, but I thought I helped make her stop. I told her that what she did was incredibly stupid, that she just needs to get over this incident and move on, because nothing she says or does is going to make any of this better. Then she hung up.

I get worried, because I didn't take her seriously at first, and started thinking that she really could have hurt herself. So I call again, and her father picks up the phone. We talk briefly and he keeps askign me what we were fighting about, and he kept trying to get me to tell him what she did that pissed me off. I didn't tell him. He gets mad and says he will kill me if anything happens to her and hangs up. During our conversation I keep hearing her screaming for me in the background, and her screaming at her dad to let me talk to her.

So now my options are;

a) Tell her father that she sent nude pics to some other guy over the internet, which pissed em off so I broke up with her. He'll never trust her again, she'll probably be severely punished, and I seriously doubt there will ever be a chance of me and her seeing each other again. The biggest problem with this, is that she may even get more upset, and it may provoke her to actually try to kill herself. She's just whoring for attention right now, but eventually she does get to the point where she stops caring and will try it. I've seen it almost happen myself. I normally flame kids like her, but I can't treat her like that.

b) Don't tell him what happened, he hates me, and we are never allowed to see each other again. She's going to get hospitalized until he's sure she can be trusted without constant supervision. I'm not sure what that would do to her. She'd also be extremely pissed at me, but I can deal with that.

I'm "in love" with her, but I do know I need to break up with her. I can't help but want to be with her 24/7. When we're together, we never have a single problem. I need to break up with her, and find a way to force myself to stick to my word, no matte rhow badly I want her. But I need to stay close enough to make sure she is ok, because she won't do anything as long as she thinks there is still a chance with me. If I were to completely vanish, I'm not sure how she would react at all, and I don't want to risk her doing something stupid...

Please help me out guys without flames. This has the potential to get serious, so I dont' want to risk anything or make the wrong move. My teenage hormones and melodrama always cloud the way I think about things when **** happens. Please point me in the right direction.[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this but she is TROUBLE. Just imagine being married to her. You will have to endure the rest of your life worrying like you do now because she will always go to extremes for attention everytime there is a little problem. Brake ties with her. You will be alot happier without her. It will only take a few weeks or maybe months to get over her.

It is girls like her that makes men believe women are evil.

Go with a). And while this is easier said than done, but you need to begin the process of completely severing ties with this girl.

[QUOTE=Junooni]Go with A, it will be better for her in the long run if her dad knows about her cutting and her other issues.[/QUOTE]
He know sabout the cutting and suicidal stuff, because she's been through that junk before in the past. He doesn't know about the pics though. He thinks she's still a virgin, and I'm not sure how he'd react if he knew. He's very protective, and very quick to anger. I feel it's the right thing to tel him, but him knowing may stress her more. I just want to make sure she's ok.

And, yes, I know this girl is trouble. That's not the issue. the issue is leaving her without causing her to something extremely stupid.

[QUOTE=Jom]Go with a). And while this is easier said than done, but you need to begin the process of completely severing ties with this girl.[/QUOTE]
A seems like the right choice. But could that make things worse, or am I just imagining things?

And, how should I tell him? Should I call back now (at 2AM) to see if she's alright, and if he answers, tell him if she hasn't already? Or call tomorrow sometime? Or should I just ignore this completely until one of them contacts me? I have to know if she's alright tomorrow though. I could just get her friend to call and check on her for me though.

[QUOTE=Wizard.]A seems like the right choice. But could that make things worse, or am I just imagining things?

And, how should I tell him? Should I call back now (at 2AM) to see if she's alright, and if he answers, tell him if she hasn't already? Or call tomorrow sometime? Or should I just ignore this completely until one of them contacts me? I have to know if she's alright tomorrow though. I could just get her friend to call and check on her for me though.[/QUOTE]
u should go with A, and hav u rooted this chick?

[QUOTE=dazmo]u should go with A, and hav u rooted this chick?[/QUOTE]
Err, wtf does that mean?

rooted =had sex

AUS term sorry:p

Yes, but what does that have to do with knowing how I should react towards her father?

well if he finds out shes not a virgin, he will prob be angry with u, as well as her, maybe even more so as u "contaminated" (couldnt think of ne other word) his lil girl

[QUOTE=Wizard.]A seems like the right choice. But could that make things worse, or am I just imagining things?

And, how should I tell him? Should I call back now (at 2AM) to see if she's alright, and if he answers, tell him if she hasn't already? Or call tomorrow sometime? Or should I just ignore this completely until one of them contacts me? I have to know if she's alright tomorrow though. I could just get her friend to call and check on her for me though.[/QUOTE]

I don't see how NOT telling him would be any good, to be truthful.

Call 'em tomorrow and see how they're both doing. Don't go through a friend of hers - you need to find out yourself, preferably from the dad, even if he is quick to anger.

[QUOTE=dazmo]well if he finds out shes not a virgin, he will prob be angry with u, as well as her, maybe even more so as u "contaminated" (couldnt think of ne other word) his lil girl[/QUOTE]
I could care less if he's pissed at me. I expect them both to get pissed if I tell her father what she did. I can stand that just fine, as long as she's alright and doesn't try to severly hurt herself or anything.

[QUOTE=Jom]I don't see how NOT telling him would be any good, to be truthful.

Call 'em tomorrow and see how they're both doing. Don't go through a friend of hers - you need to find out yourself, preferably from the dad, even if he is quick to anger.[/QUOTE]
Alright. Sounds like the best solution to me. Now I just got to make myself sleep.

[QUOTE=Wizard.]Eh, I didn't want to post here due to the amount of flaming I'm probably going to get. I don't really care right now. The problem just got way complicated and I need some advice badly. I'll try to keep this short.

My girlfriend send nude pictures to a friend of hers one night. She says she did it for the attention, because we were fighting at the time. This is the same kid I had issues with before, if anyone remembers.

I got pissed, called her a slut and broke up with her, hopefully for good this time. She cries and apologizes and I just speak harshly and eventually hang up on her.

She calls a bit more than an hour later, crying worse than I've ever heard her do. She said alot of things that I couldn't understand, but apparently she's cut herself alot, and called her dad because she was afraid she would kill herself. She used to cut for attention, and it was annoying, but I thought I helped make her stop. I told her that what she did was incredibly stupid, that she just needs to get over this incident and move on, because nothing she says or does is going to make any of this better. Then she hung up.

I get worried, because I didn't take her seriously at first, and started thinking that she really could have hurt herself. So I call again, and her father picks up the phone. We talk briefly and he keeps askign me what we were fighting about, and he kept trying to get me to tell him what she did that pissed me off. I didn't tell him. He gets mad and says he will kill me if anything happens to her and hangs up. During our conversation I keep hearing her screaming for me in the background, and her screaming at her dad to let me talk to her.

So now my options are;

a) Tell her father that she sent nude pics to some other guy over the internet, which pissed em off so I broke up with her. He'll never trust her again, she'll probably be severely punished, and I seriously doubt there will ever be a chance of me and her seeing each other again. The biggest problem with this, is that she may even get more upset, and it may provoke her to actually try to kill herself. She's just whoring for attention right now, but eventually she does get to the point where she stops caring and will try it. I've seen it almost happen myself. I normally flame kids like her, but I can't treat her like that.

b) Don't tell him what happened, he hates me, and we are never allowed to see each other again. She's going to get hospitalized until he's sure she can be trusted without constant supervision. I'm not sure what that would do to her. She'd also be extremely pissed at me, but I can deal with that.

I'm "in love" with her, but I do know I need to break up with her. I can't help but want to be with her 24/7. When we're together, we never have a single problem. I need to break up with her, and find a way to force myself to stick to my word, no matte rhow badly I want her. But I need to stay close enough to make sure she is ok, because she won't do anything as long as she thinks there is still a chance with me. If I were to completely vanish, I'm not sure how she would react at all, and I don't want to risk her doing something stupid...

Please help me out guys without flames. This has the potential to get serious, so I dont' want to risk anything or make the wrong move. My teenage hormones and melodrama always cloud the way I think about things when **** happens. Please point me in the right direction.[/QUOTE]

You started off already by doing the right thing. A girl like her is used to scaring everyone into a state of remorse and understanding so that she will always come out in a position of total vindication.

You took an indifferent approach to her stunt, however, and called her on it relentlessly. Sometimes the best way to help those we love is to stop loving them long enough to poke their wounds and make them bleed. That's the most loving thing someone can do in a situation like that. Allowing her to live a lie would be the heartless course of action.

Now you need to step up to the plate and really prod that wound. Tell her father what she did. Otherwise he's going to find a reason to push all of this off on you (which I'm sure he'll do anyway) and you will have done [b]nothing[/b] to aid her situation. If you tell him what she did to instigate this fight and the circumstances surrounding your recent decisions, it will destroy her state of self-righteous vindication and put her in the spotlight for the mentally-instable trainwreck that she is.

You can't soften up halfway through the battle or you're bound to be shot in the heart. Follow this through the way you know that you should.

I'm on the phone with him now, and I'm sending the pics to his email by request. She's in the hospital under close survelance and is going to have to go through some psychologist crap. She's cut off from all contact for 72 hours, but she [I][B]is[/B][/I] safe.

Well, good job. You're doing the right thing.

[QUOTE=Wizard.]I'm on the phone with him now, and I'm sending the pics to his email by request. She's in the hospital under close survelance and is going to have to go through some psychologist crap. She's cut off from all contact for 72 hours, but she [I][B]is[/B][/I] safe.[/QUOTE]
woo hoo, hooray 4 u!!!! u did the right thing :chug:

Wait, he wants his own daughter's nude photographs?

I dunno, man. If I had a teenage daughter and she was like this, I wouldn't ask for them for research purposes. Maybe get them so if she denies it he can say he has them or something, but not look over them and going "Hubba hubba :naughty:."

He said he wants them to give to the psycologists she seeing. He's not the type to oogle over his own daughter.

I think she'll be fine now. He said she'll make her call me later. They are letting him visit tonight around 7PM, and he's going to let her use his cell phone. I don't know what I can say to her though. She has disgusted and embarassed me, and I'm extremely pissed. I still love her though, but I don't want to be with someone like this.

Do I break up with her? Or do I continue on with my plans of moving there aroud June? If I was there this probably never would have happened.

[QUOTE=Wizard.]He said he wants them to give to the psycologists she seeing. He's not the type to oogle over his own daughter.

I think she'll be fine now. He said she'll make her call me later. They are letting him visit tonight around 7PM, and he's going to let her use his cell phone. I don't know what I can say to her though. She has disgusted and embarassed me, and I'm extremely pissed. I still love her though, but I don't want to be with someone like this.

Do I break up with her? Or do I continue on with my plans of moving there aroud June? If I was there this probably never would have happened.[/QUOTE]

If she's going to get help for her issues you can still consider moving there. But ONLY if she gets help. And, by help, I don't mean one counselling session, I mean THERAPY.

[QUOTE=Wizard.]She has disgusted and embarassed me, and I'm extremely pissed. I still love her though, but I don't want to be with someone like this.[/QUOTE]

Maybe it's just me, but aren't these two sentences so absolutely Byzantine, that they basically refute each other?

Let me break it down.

She has disgusted and embarassed you, and you're extremely pissed.

Yet you still love her.

However, you don't want to be with someone who disgusts and embarasses you and pisses you off.

My question is, how can you love someone after all this disgust, embarassment, and feelings of being pissed off have continued for so long?

Maybe it's because I don't experience love on that level.

So, I guess it's easier said than done.

Doug posted in the Heroin thread, right before it got closed. First post. Twas a good post.

You can love someone and hate their behavior at the same time. That won't stop you from loving them.

Over the course of time, though, it's possible for their behavior to kill that love.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]If she's going to get help for her issues you can still consider moving there. But ONLY if she gets help. And, by help, I don't mean one counselling session, I mean THERAPY.[/QUOTE]
I doubt she will get full therapy. They tried something like that before and it died off, and she ended up on prozac and some other medication, which actually made things worse.

She's apparently doing all of this for attention. I keep wondering that maybe the only reason she even loves me is because I give her the attention she craves. I don't want to be in a relationship like that, but I don't want to leave this girl, because I love her, even if she really doesn't return it.

I don't know what to do at all. If Ibreak up with her, and try to stay apart from her, I'm going to be miserable for ahwile, and probably end up whimpering back to her like I did before. I seriously don't have the will to stay away from her. I don't know why. She'll continue being depressed or whatever for awhile if I just leave her alone.

If I stay with her, that's just letting her know her attention whoring act actually worked, and she'll probably just end up doing something again. Eventually I'll move there, and we'd probably be perfectly happy from then on, but I can't trust her anymore, so I don't know what to do about the next few months, while I'm still so far from her. Plus, if she doesn't love me, and I'm just a tool for her attention, it will eventually fall apart much worse than this.

Which option makes more sense? Stay with her or leave her? Maybe there's another option I don't see. You guys have told me to leave her before, so I'm assuming I'll get the same answers this time, but now that I can actually move there, it change sthe situation drastically.

First, why won't she get full therapy?

I can ask her about it, I guess. She had to go see a psycologist regualrly before, and she just bull****ted the lady and eventually they said taking some medications should fix everything. It didn't help anything. I don't see how her going to therapy will help this time, because she'll do and say whatever just so they will stop bugging her. She won't take any of it seriously. It'll just be an anoyance for her.

Then, my answer is clear. Call it quits.

You being there full time isn't going to solve any of her issues, whatever they may be. You can't shower her with attention 24/7. She needs help fixing the issues, and obviously doesn't want help, because it's way too much fun being an attention whore.

I was afraid of that answer. How do I do it then? If I just stop talking to her now. she may just get worse. I don't want her to hurt herself any worse than she already has. Plus, I know her, and her best friend will be trying to call me or message me 24/7, and I'm too much of a pansy to just ignore the calls. I don't know what I'd say to her when I do talk to her.

What should I say when she calls later today? I told her it was over, but I was in an extremely bad mood and was yelling at her, so she may not take that seriously. I'm friggin' nervous now. I don't want to upset her any more.

Heh, looks like this is karma coming to bite me in the a[SIZE="2"]s[/SIZE]s for kissing Kristen.

[QUOTE=Jom]Maybe it's just me, but aren't these two sentences so absolutely Byzantine, that they basically refute each other?

Let me break it down.

She has disgusted and embarassed you, and you're extremely pissed.

Yet you still love her.

However, you don't want to be with someone who disgusts and embarasses you and pisses you off.

My question is, how can you love someone after all this disgust, embarassment, and feelings of being pissed off have continued for so long?

Maybe it's because I don't experience love on that level.

So, I guess it's easier said than done.[/QUOTE]

If you can stop loving someone at the drop of a dime because their behavior pisses you off, then you never really loved them in the first place.

She has a best friend who is there with her, D. Let the best friend watch over her. If you stop talking to her and she gets worse, she has someone watching over her.

Be strong about ignoring her calls. Don't give in. You can do it.

When she calls later today tell her you've had enough drama with her, and you don't want anymore of it.

[QUOTE=Iscariot]If you can stop loving someone at the drop of a dime because their behavior pisses you off, then you never really loved them in the first place.[/QUOTE]
Yeah. It's actually possible to love and hate someone at the same time.