Alright, here's my situation. My ex-girlfriend and I are still friends and she said she would consider being my girlfriend again. She also said that she would go on a date with me when the play she's in is over. Here's the problem. There's this other guy that calls her everynight and writes her poems and ****. He took her to this dance. She did say she doesn't know if she likes him or not and that she doesn't think she'll go out with him because she doesn't want to be in a relationship with someone just because she's flattered by them liking her.

I talk to this girl almost everyday during lunch and we get along great. I called her on Saturday and we talked for two and a half hours and she sat with me Sunday when we went with our youth group to the movies (she has other friends). I didn't go and see her the other day at lunch and she kept trying to lure me over there and the next day she seemed really excited to see me. Yesterday at lunch she kind of slapped me and we did that back and forth etc. Her friend was also talking about what she does with her boyfriend and she was like "sam and I do this"etc. Like I was still her boyfriend.

I found out on thursday or so that the guy I mentioned before had been talking to another girl on Myspace and he had been telling her the same stuff he had been telling my ex like "you're beautiful" and he even said "I love you". I told her about this yesterday and she seemed sort of upset and said I was lying but she was just upset. I talked to her later that day at school and she seemed fine and was nice to me. I called her later that night and she didn't seem that excited to talk to me and she asked me to tell her what that guy wrote and I did and then she had to go because she was watching the batchelor.(she really does watch that)

Then this morning I looked at my phone and saw that she tried to call me twice on Sunday within 5 minutes. So in conclusion, I'm pretty confused. On one hand she talks to me forever, agrees to a date, calls me. And on the other that guy calls her and she said she might go to prom with him(I couldn't ask her we're sophomores.) She isn't known to lie so I believe that she won't go out with him. I didn't talk to her at lunch today so she would have some time to miss me. So I don't know what to do. I don't want to seem obsessed and call her all the time, but I also don't want it to be too easy for him to get her.

[QUOTE=smart blockhead]Alright, here's my situation. My ex-girlfriend and I are still friends and she said she would consider being my girlfriend again. She also said that she would go on a date with me when the play she's in is over. Here's the problem. There's this other guy that calls her everynight and writes her poems and ****. He took her to this dance. She did say she doesn't know if she likes him or not and that she doesn't think she'll go out with him because she doesn't want to be in a relationship with someone just because she's flattered by them liking her.

I talk to this girl almost everyday during lunch and we get along great. I called her on Saturday and we talked for two and a half hours and she sat with me Sunday when we went with our youth group to the movies (she has other friends). I didn't go and see her the other day at lunch and she kept trying to lure me over there and the next day she seemed really excited to see me. Yesterday at lunch she kind of slapped me and we did that back and forth etc. Her friend was also talking about what she does with her boyfriend and she was like "sam and I do this"etc. Like I was still her boyfriend.

I found out on thursday or so that the guy I mentioned before had been talking to another girl on Myspace and he had been telling her the same stuff he had been telling my ex like "you're beautiful" and he even said "I love you". I told her about this yesterday and she seemed sort of upset and said I was lying but she was just upset. I talked to her later that day at school and she seemed fine and was nice to me. I called her later that night and she didn't seem that excited to talk to me and she asked me to tell her what that guy wrote and I did and then she had to go because she was watching the batchelor.(she really does watch that)

Then this morning I looked at my phone and saw that she tried to call me twice on Sunday within 5 minutes. So in conclusion, I'm pretty confused. On one hand she talks to me forever, agrees to a date, calls me. And on the other that guy calls her and she said she might go to prom with him(I couldn't ask her we're sophomores.) She isn't known to lie so I believe that she won't go out with him. I didn't talk to her at lunch today so she would have some time to miss me. So I don't know what to do. I don't want to seem obsessed and call her all the time, but I also don't want it to be too easy for him to get her.[/QUOTE]Maybe she just likes the thought of going to prom?

Just keep doing things how you have been, but don't leave it too long, because that's never a good thing. Maybe try and get her to go back out with you before prom comes around.

Damien: Ha. Doesn't matter anyways he's gone for a while.

[QUOTE=Fire Whispers]Maybe she just likes the thought of going to prom?

Just keep doing things how you have been, but don't leave it too long, because that's never a good thing. Maybe try and get her to go back out with you before prom comes around.[/QUOTE]
That's a good idea. I think she just likes it that this guy is nice to her and stuff. I'm nice to her and compliment her and stuff but I don't write her poetry and say you're beautiful every sentence. I think she may have started to have feelings for me again since she has been acting really glad to see me and stuff. I have the feeling she's under the impression that I'll wait for her to decide if she wants me or him or neither. This is why I"ve decided to stop talking to her at lunch every day, its still like we're going out for her and she doesn't have a chance to miss me or anything. So I'm think that maybe if I keep doing that I can gain the upper hand and she might decide she misses me. She has said she doesn't really feel like having a boyfriend now when I asked her if she was going to go out with that guy, but I don't know if that includes me or not.

Distancing yourself may give the other guy more opportunity to get in there, since you'd be paying less attention to her, and it sounds like she's loving the attention she's getting already.

Could be wrong.

[QUOTE=smart blockhead]There's this other guy that calls her everynight and writes her poems and ****. [/QUOTE]
haha

stop treating that guy as a threat. it's only hurting you. if anything tell her she should go out with that guy because he's so nice and he'll buy her things and treat her nice all the time blah blah. basically any wussy thing you can think of. you'll repel her from him and you won't look insecure.


and stop letting her define the terms of the relationship or you'll end up in an exclusive relationship with your hand
[QUOTE=smart blockhead] I have the feeling she's under the impression that I'll wait for her to decide if she wants me or him or neither. This is why I"ve decided to stop talking to her at lunch every day, its still like we're going out for her and she doesn't have a chance to miss me or anything. [/QUOTE]
this is totally the right thing to do
[QUOTE=Wizard.]Could be wrong.[/QUOTE]
and a big yeah to that

[QUOTE=smart blockhead]That's a good idea. I think she just likes it that this guy is nice to her and stuff. I'm nice to her and compliment her and stuff but I don't write her poetry and say you're beautiful every sentence. I think she may have started to have feelings for me again since she has been acting really glad to see me and stuff. I have the feeling she's under the impression that I'll wait for her to decide if she wants me or him or neither. This is why I"ve decided to stop talking to her at lunch every day, its still like we're going out for her and she doesn't have a chance to miss me or anything. So I'm think that maybe if I keep doing that I can gain the upper hand and she might decide she misses me. She has said she doesn't really feel like having a boyfriend now when I asked her if she was going to go out with that guy, but I don't know if that includes me or not.[/QUOTE]
It may just mean she's not sure.

Your plan sounds good, but keep in mind it may backfire and she may think you've lost interest as well.

Like you said, I just think she likes him because he says lots of nice things to her. Maybe if you go to ask her out again you could write her a small poem or something (If you're good at that kind of thing), since oyu don't normally do that it'll be really unexpected and nice. Where as eventually his non-stop compliments will get redundant because he does it all the time.

[QUOTE=I Am a Hat]haha

stop treating that guy as a threat. it's only hurting you. if anything tell her she should go out with that guy because he's so nice and he'll buy her things and treat her nice all the time blah blah. basically any wussy thing you can think of. you'll repel her from him and you won't look insecure.[/QUOTE] I told her she should go out with him if she wants to. And when she told me she might go to the dance with him I just pretend like it doesn't bother me. She also tries to make me jealous sometimes by showing me his poems and I either just ignore it or say ok. I don't understand why she would try to make me jealous if she doesn't have feelings for me.


[QUOTE=I Am a Hat]and stop letting her define the terms of the relationship or you'll end up in an exclusive relationship with your hand

this is totally the right thing to do

and a big yeah to that[/QUOTE]
Alright, I'll work on that, thanks for the advice.

[QUOTE=Fire Whispers]Zack isn't that brutal, his advice is actually good and works best in most situations.[/QUOTE]

I wub my cub, but he's not my age, ergo he hasn't experienced the things I have. His advice is always basically "suck it up and get on with your life". Sometimes, that advice isn't good, because you actually need to be READY to suck it up and get on with your life.

Well my gf hates talking on the phone and i know she is shy on it, but i always seem to think that she doesnt want to talk to me or she just doesnt like me even though i know she is in love with me. I know its all in my head, but im so parnoid. Im always like 100% parnoid. How can i stop that?

[QUOTE=Destined_for]Well my gf hates talking on the phone and i know she is shy on it, but i always seem to think that she doesnt want to talk to me or she just doesnt like me even though i know she is in love with me. I know its all in my head, but im so parnoid. Im always like 100% parnoid. How can i stop that?[/QUOTE]

Some people don't do the phone thing well. I'm one of those. The only one I have lengthy conversations with on the phone is Tiger.

Just try to cut her some slack for that.

[QUOTE=Destined_for]Well my gf hates talking on the phone and i know she is shy on it, but i always seem to think that she doesnt want to talk to me or she just doesnt like me even though i know she is in love with me. I know its all in my head, but im so parnoid. Im always like 100% parnoid. How can i stop that?[/QUOTE]

I'm a paranoid boyfriend too. :(

i wish i [i]was[/i] a bf :(

[QUOTE=thunderzstruck]i wish i [i]was[/i] a bf :([/QUOTE]

Poor Kyle.

[QUOTE=El Krunk]I'm a paranoid boyfriend too. :([/QUOTE]
I am too. Extremely bad. :-/

EDIT: Err... was... :(

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Poor Kyle.[/QUOTE]

help me wallow in my self pity :upset:


heh, jk

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Some people don't do the phone thing well. I'm one of those. The only one I have lengthy conversations with on the phone is Tiger.

Just try to cut her some slack for that.[/QUOTE]

but im so paranoid about everything. how can i stop that

remember that the purpose of a relationship is to enjoy ones self and your doing the opposite if your letting useless jealousy get in the way

[QUOTE=thunderzstruck]help me wallow in my self pity :upset:


heh, jk[/QUOTE]


Guess who joined mx this morning.

My guy.

whaaat? how does he know about it???!!

you're going to have to watch what you say now it seems :-\

[QUOTE=thunderzstruck]remember that the purpose of a relationship is to enjoy ones self and your doing the opposite if your letting useless jealousy get in the way[/QUOTE]

i just get paranoid because i think she doesnt like me anymore.

Not really. Who cares if this guy joined or not? I've visited their forums before, I don't see what the problem is at all. If people are going to get offended by what's said on the Internet, who cares? Taking things on an Internet forum seriously is laughable, even if this thread is more serious than others in The Pit.

[quote=Chaindrive]Sometimes, that advice isn't good, because you actually need to be READY to suck it up and get on with your life.[/quote]

Well, Tiger doesn't see what's so hard about being "READY" to suck it up and get on with one's life.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Guess who joined mx this morning.

My guy.[/QUOTE]
That bites one ><

[QUOTE=Destined_for]i just get paranoid because i think she doesnt like me anymore.[/QUOTE]
it's a self-fulfilling prophecy


just don't turn needy and clingy and ultra nice in an attempt to make her like you more


how to you treat her in the beginning of the relationship. do what works.

[QUOTE=Jom]Not really. Who cares if he joined or not?[/QUOTE]
She may share personal things here that she may not want leaked to her fella. I know I definitely wouldn't want my significant other to be browsing boards where I've spilled my guts. :-/

I'm more, err, emotional with things I post though. So I guess other people would feel differently.

[QUOTE=thunderzstruck]whaaat? how does he know about it???!!

you're going to have to watch what you say now it seems :-\[/QUOTE]

Well, I've been quiet lately and I really don't think he'll see anything.

Hell, he may not even stumble on the pit.

He knows about it because we were talking about our local music forum which he doesn't go on anymore because of the trash talk, and I was telling him about how much better the kids on mx behave, than the other forum (these are adults on the other forum, mind you. Not that you'd believe it after reading some of their posts).

So today, he asked me what the url for mx was.

He's "blatherskite" here.

[QUOTE=Fire Whispers]Zack isn't that brutal, his advice is actually good and works best in most situations.[/QUOTE]

Regardless of whether or not he's right, you have to admit that his presentation really sucks. If you ever take a class on persuasive speaking, they will tell you first off that you have to use tact and a light tough. The more blunt and aggressive you are, the more people are going to resent you and just dig their heels in.

[QUOTE=Jom]Not really. Who cares if this guy joined or not? I've visited their forums before, I don't see what the problem is at all. If people are going to get offended by what's said on the Internet, who cares? Taking things on an Internet forum seriously is laughable, even if this thread is more serious than others in The Pit.[/quote]

Problem with that forum is all of us know each other in real life, so the smackdowns are a lot more personal. To all of us. And, I really don't care if he's on here or not; I don't suspect he'll be "finding more posts by Chaindrive".


[quote]Well, Tiger doesn't see what's so hard about being "READY" to suck it up and get on with one's life.[/QUOTE]

Tiger needs to get a few more years' of experience so he can see some grey areas. Right now everything is black and white to him. Life's not like that.

[QUOTE=I Am a Hat]it's a self-fulfilling prophecy


just don't turn needy and clingy and ultra nice in an attempt to make her like you more


how to you treat her in the beginning of the relationship. do what works.[/QUOTE]

true. l also try not to get attached which is hard for me.

[QUOTE=Wizard.]She may share personal things here that she may not want leaked to her fella. I know I definitely wouldn't want my significant other to be browsing boards where I've spilled my guts. :-/

I'm more, err, emotional with things I post though. So I guess other people would feel differently.[/QUOTE]

But if she gave him the URL, why should everyone be worried?

If she didn't want him to find this place, she would have posted musiciansforum.com or musicianforum.com or musiciansforums.com instead or something, rather than musicianforums.com.

Or she wouldn't have given it to him at all.

[quote=Chaindrive]Life isn't black and white. [sic][/quote]

I disagree.

[quote=Chaindrive]Problem with that forum is all of us know each other in real life, so the smackdowns are a lot more personal. To all of us. And, I really don't care if he's on here or not; I don't suspect he'll be "finding more posts by Chaindrive".[/quote]

Yeah, but half of the kids that were on that forum were idiots.

I'm not saying we don't have idiots here, but the insults there were very uninspiring and just laughable.

[QUOTE=Jom]Yeah, but half of the kids that were on that forum were idiots.

I'm not saying we don't have idiots here, but the insults there were very uninspiring and just laughable.[/QUOTE]

Problem is...the "kids" on that forum are NOT KIDS. The average age there is about 30.