[QUOTE=ShadowsFallen]Thank you Julianne, I'm working on it. :angry: Unless you want to help me BS the data for my science project, SILENCE![/QUOTE]I'd help.. but I don't want to. :)

[QUOTE=Mister Blue Sky]What science are you in? Chem? If so:[/QUOTE]
I am in chem, but I'm sorry my friend, I have no idea how to work that problem. :(

[QUOTE=blue3]I'd help.. but I don't want to. :)[/QUOTE]
I'm so glad I have friends like you to keep me company.

[QUOTE=Steerpike]Ever since my brother started dating, we've all noticed he's been a lot less violent and short-tempered.

Amazing what a switch that can bring about in a person.[/QUOTE]
A small thing can make a HUGE difference.

NP-Cannibal corpse - HammerSmashed face. :cool:

Dang. I think I'll procrastinate and stall and write my next Essential Album thread..

[QUOTE=SilentScream7]NP-Cannibal corpse - HammerSmashed face. :cool:[/QUOTE]
:cool: :cool:
That's going to be insane live!

I'm off to bed, night folks.

NP-the Smiths-how soon is now?

[QUOTE]Two pretzels were walkin' down the street.............




On was "a-salted"[/QUOTE]

I hate you.















:p

Aye, I liked that joke, no one seems to think it's funny, they're obviousley mad!

What's the difference between a porsche and a hedgehog?
A hedgehog has pricks on the outside!

lolz. Joke of the day.

A mommy tomato, a daddy tomato and a little boy tomato are walking down the street. The little boy tomato stops to tie his shoes and lags behind. The daddy tomato yells at him "ketchup"!

/dies of laughter

[QUOTE]For the record, I didn't sell out.

That is all.[/QUOTE]

Shut it, and bring back the lab, Jommy-boy.

For the record, I didn't sell out.

That is all.

Three testicles walk into a bar.... That's it, there's no punchline there.

Two blondes walk into a bar, the third ducks.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants... the bartender goes "hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?!" the pirate goes "arrr it's driving me nuts!"

[QUOTE]Three testicles walk into a bar.... That's it, there's no punchline there.[/QUOTE]

A baby seal walks into a club...

/guarentees spot in hell

[QUOTE]A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants... the bartender goes "hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?!" the pirate goes "arrr it's driving me nuts!"[/QUOTE]

:lol:

Edit: Jom, name change:

"The R&M Comedy Hour"

Anyone remember that one chat were we were all just trading off jokes? Those were good times.

A nun, a rabbi, a bishop, two ducks, a donkey, and a platypus all walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What the hell is this, some kind of joke?"

One day, while sailing the seven seas, a lookout spotted a pirate ship, and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravo bellowed for his red shirt. The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, and, after donning the shirt, the captain led his crew into battle and defeated the pirates.

Later on, the lookout spotted not one, but two pirate ships. The captain again howled for his red shirt and once again vanquished the pirates. That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day's triumphs, and one of them asked the captain: "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before each battle?" The captain replied: "If I am wounded in the attack, my crew won't notice my bleeding and will continue to fight, unafraid." All of the men sat in silence and marveled at the courage of their captain.

As dawn came the next morning, the lookout spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching. The rank and file all stared at the captain and waited for his usual request. Captain Bravo calmly shouted: "Bring me my brown pants!"

Heh, that's an old one.

A preist, a rabbi, and the president are all on the same plane when it starts to go down. Luckily there enough parachutes to go around, and evacuation is orderly.


Fooled you.

[QUOTE=Lunch]A preist, a rabbi, and the president are all on the same plane when it starts to go down. Luckily there enough parachutes to go around, and evacuation is orderly.[/QUOTE]

Best. Joke. Ever.

So this dude comes home from work and gets into his apartment, the first thing he sees is his girlfriend packing up her stuff, crying. He asks her, "What's wrong babe?"
She's like, "I found out what you are!"
He's like, "Oh? and what is that?"
and so she says, "A pedophile!"
and then he says, "Pedophile? That's a pretty big word for a twelve year old."

Sup guys? Anyone see the [I]Take This Life[/I] video yet?

NP: Killswitch Engage - Rise Inside

A panda walks into a bar and declines a drink, but asks for a big bowl of peanuts. He promptly scarfs the whole thing down. After he finishes licking his lips, he pulls an uzi out of nowhere and mows down half the patrons.

The panda tosses the gun casually over his shoulder and walks to the door.

Just as he gets there, the bartender grabs him by the shoulder. "What the hell did you do that for?!" he yells.

The panda produces a dictionary, again seemingly from nowhere, and flips it open before going to a specific entry and pointing at it.

[b][u]Panda[/u][/b]: [b]PAN-duh[/b]; [i]n[/i]; Eats shoots and leaves.

A guy walks into a bar and he sees a jar of money on the bar. It has at least 200 dollars in it. He walks up to it and says "Barkeep, what's the money for?" and the barkeeper says "I can't tell you that until you've had a couple of drinks." So the guy goes on drinking and gets pretty drunk. "Hey Barkeep, I'm ... pretty drunk.. what's in the jar?" The barkeeper says "Alright, you seem up to it. Put 10 bucks in the bar and you could win it all. Just do 3 tasks. First, beat that guy over there in an arm wrestling match. Second, I have a pit bull in the back with a toothache. I want you to go out there and pull it's tooth. Third, my mother is upstairs, and you have to go up and please her."

The guy puts 10 bucks in the jar, and arm wrestles the man. He wins.

Then he goes outside. The barkeeper hears a bunch of yelps, screams, growls and barks and the guy walks back in. "Alright barkeep, now where's the old lady who needs her tooth pulled?"

:lol: he had sex with the dog!

I've always been a fan of:

Wanna hear a funny joke?
:::pause:::
Women's rights.

How many guitarists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 20, 1 to screw it in and 19 to say they can do it faster, better, and behind their backs.

[QUOTE=Mister Blue Sky]A guy walks into a bar and he sees a jar of money on the bar. It has at least 200 dollars in it. He walks up to it and says "Barkeep, what's the money for?" and the barkeeper says "I can't tell you that until you've had a couple of drinks." So the guy goes on drinking and gets pretty drunk. "Hey Barkeep, I'm ... pretty drunk.. what's in the jar?" The barkeeper says "Alright, you seem up to it. Put 10 bucks in the bar and you could win it all. Just do 3 tasks. First, beat that guy over there in an arm wrestling match. Second, I have a pit bull in the back with a toothache. I want you to go out there and pull it's tooth. Third, my mother is upstairs, and you have to go up and please her."

The guy puts 10 bucks in the jar, and arm wrestles the man. He wins.

Then he goes outside. The barkeeper hears a bunch of yelps, screams, growls and barks and the guy walks back in. "Alright barkeep, now where's the old lady who needs her tooth pulled?"[/QUOTE]
YES! That is awesome!

[QUOTE=I Am Vikingcore]Sup guys? Anyone see the [I]Take This Life[/I] video yet?[/QUOTE]
Where did you find?

Never mind, got it.

[url]http://www.ferretstyle.com/takethislife/video/[/url]

[QUOTE=I Am Vikingcore]Wanna hear a funny joke?
:::pause:::
Women's rights.[/QUOTE]

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive?


Because she was a woman lol

But really, that's the reason.

there's a russian guy, an italian guy, and a chinese guy working for a construction company. the head of the company walks over and says "we need some stuff." he tells the russian guy to get lumber, the italian guy to get cement, and the chinese guy to get supplies. he comes back a while later to check on progress. the russian guy has a pile of wood, the italian guy has bags of cement, and the chinese guy is nowhere to be see. the boss asks, "where's the chinese guy?" at that moment, the chinese guy jumps out from behind a nearby wall and yells, "SUPPLIES."

tee hee.

in other news, i hate kanye west because he is retarded.

At school once, I walked up to a group of 5 or 6 girls and said:

"Why didn't the DMV give Helen Keller a license? Because she's a woman."

And casually walked away.

[QUOTE]Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive?


Because she was a woman lol

But really, that's the reason.[/QUOTE]

Dammit.

What do Hellen Keller's parent's do to her when they piss her off?



Re-arrange her furniture.

What do you do when Hellen Keller pisses you off?


Put a plunger in the toilet...


What was Hellen Keller's dog's name?


Uhhhmmuuhghhga

One day, a guy driving home from work has a furious urge to wank. So he parks his car at the top of the hill, gets under his car, closes his eyes and gets to work. He figures that if he's under his car, people will assume he's working on the car. A few minutes later, a cop drives up and says "Can I help you sir?" The man, not willing to lose his vision of 2 lesbians says "Nope, just fixing some brakes." The cop says "That must be hard to do if your car is down the hill."