*sigh*.....

How do you get over a girl and still remain her friend? ="(
I feel I shouldn't be with my girlfriend anymore, and what's more not have a girlfriend for a long while..
I just want the feelings to disappear. I don't want my mind to be harrassed by thoughts and worries about girls (that is, my girl, and any girls to come) anymore.. but I'm not an asshole. I still want the friendship..

About the only way you can remain friends is to distance yourself for a little while, until the heaviest of the feelings fades. Once that's done you can go back to just being friends.

Did you break up with her? Or are you planning to?

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]About the only way you can remain friends is to distance yourself for a little while, until the heaviest of the feelings fades. Once that's done you can go back to just being friends.

Did you break up with her? Or are you planning to?[/QUOTE]
I'm planning to.. it's just she's been dumped so many times and she ends up hating the guys that do that to her. She's the kind that falls for them reallll easy, man.. and I don't want her to think I'm a jerk..
I just wish she'd break up with me instead.. but I know that'll never happen unless she has something against me, which is ultimately what I'm trying to avoid..

Well, there's kind of a way you can handle it so the breakup comes from her, without really appearing to be a jerk. You'll need to be subtle, though.

If all youre going for is not being a jerk, then be sweet about dumping her, not malicious.

You need to do it like a band-aid though, all off all at once, dont string this out if the idea to leave her has already been planted in your mind.

Hi, cub.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Hi, cub.[/QUOTE]


Ey.

[QUOTE=Whatsisface]I'm planning to.. it's just she's been dumped so many times and she ends up hating the guys that do that to her. She's the kind that falls for them reallll easy, man.[/quote]

That's neither your fault nor your problem, to be honest. Just break it off with her and do as Tiger said - all at once, but it doesn't have to be painful.

The last thing you need to do is drag it out when you don't have to.

As some of you know, Lela and I patched things up again. She apologized for the first time in.. I don't know when.

But now I have worse news than ever. I think she's cheating on me.

All those times lately that she doesn't have time to see me, I found out she's been spending time with this friend of hers - Drew. They go to the mall together, they go places together - all the things that her and I used to do that she told me she's too busy for anymore.

And as the straw that broke the camel's back, I found some interesting things on MySpace. Now, I know it's silly to base assumptions off of something on MySpace, but this is something that really, really caught my attention.

1) All the dirty comments I left her on her page are gone.

Her: "I think MySpace is acting up. It deleted all those comments you left me when we were talking dirty. I just don't know what happened to them."

2) I've been moved from #1 on her top 8 to number four. Her friend Stephanie holds #1 and Drew holds #2.

3) She took my name off every corner of her MySpace page.

4) [quote=Lela] 2/22/2006 6:05 PM

hey drew waz up with u hansome? we need to talk more and go hot tubing at ur house ok. any way i love ur pics of u and ur puppie there hot! any way i still have that lil shirt thats yellow u like lol! well casll me and we will do some thing ta gether i promise i miss hanging out wit ya. do u rember when we saw a movie ta gether it was silly but we had fun! love ya tonz ur girl Lela comment back asap[/quote]

[quote=Lela]February 22, 2006 6:00 PM
ahhh cute drew i love it ur so hansome. call me some time ok drewy loves and kisses -lela[/quote]

Maybe I'm overreacting, but between her treatment of me on a daily basis and this, I really don't trust her. At all.

Help.

Ooo that sounds not good. I dunno, maybe try spy on her or something. Or talk to Drew. Are you friends with Drew?

Jared, with the MySpace thing, I don't think you're over reacting at all. Only last night I was experiencing the same thing. It also happened with my ex.

MySpace messages don't just deleted themselves either, but I'm sure you already worked that one out for yourself.

Ask her straight out what's going on, you have a right to know. Maybe they ARE just close friends, but even just reading it now, if I was you I'd be pretty worried about it too.

Good luck with that.

Apparently, the word "subtle" is not in the girl's vocabulary.

If I were you, the next time I called her and she gave me some bullsh[size=2]i[/size]t excuse, I'd just say "Don't insult my intelligence," and quietly hang up on her.

You need to call her on this. This kind of behavior is unacceptable from anybody. MySpace comments do not delete themselves. If she can find the time to hang out with everybody but you, she can certainly make time for you if she wanted to. She's just stringing you along because she's too much of a flake to break it off herself.

So guess what that means? Since she's too much of a coward to do it herself, [i]you[/i] need to break up with [i]her[/i] instead of the other way around. You don't want to be with somebody who's this selfish and disrespectful.

[QUOTE=El Krunk]As some of you know, Lela and I patched things up again. She apologized for the first time in.. I don't know when.

But now I have worse news than ever. I think she's cheating on me.

All those times lately that she doesn't have time to see me, I found out she's been spending time with this friend of hers - Drew. They go to the mall together, they go places together - all the things that her and I used to do that she told me she's too busy for anymore.

And as the straw that broke the camel's back, I found some interesting things on MySpace. Now, I know it's silly to base assumptions off of something on MySpace, but this is something that really, really caught my attention.

1) All the dirty comments I left her on her page are gone.

Her: "I think MySpace is acting up. It deleted all those comments you left me when we were talking dirty. I just don't know what happened to them."

2) I've been moved from #1 on her top 8 to number four. Her friend Stephanie holds #1 and Drew holds #2.

3) She took my name off every corner of her MySpace page.

4)



Maybe I'm overreacting, but between her treatment of me on a daily basis and this, I really don't trust her. At all.

Help.[/QUOTE]

Oh wow. Ditch her Jared. Seriously.

Don't ditch her yet, confront her first, and make sure you have a good mate, lots of whiskey and some grass stashed back at HQ for when the tsunami of pain and regret hits.

Yeah I'd at least wait and see what she's got to say about it first.

Well if I were you I would try to trick her into admitting it first. If you're cryptic enough you can get her to slip up and say something she didn't want to. And, of course, then you'd be so proud of the fact you outsmarted her, you wont really care thats she cheated on you.

I confronted her about it and she swears there's nothing going on. She said, "Have you ever heard of just kidding around?" to which I said, "There's a really big, fat line between kidding around and fooling around and you're slowly crossing that line."

Also, I got this in my inbox today from Drew.

[quote]HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Dude i just talked to "your girl" for like 3 or 4 hours tonight and the whole time she dissed you, saying *edited out* and all this ****, and she said you were stalking her. And she said you *edited out*. Idk she could be making this **** up, the **** if i know, but im not down for any drama over the internet, but if you feel like you need to fight me, tell me when and where. [/quote]

I edited out the hurtful bits and left the ridiculous bits in.

Looks like I've got something new to fight with her about. This is getting real close to ending.

Alright man. Here's what I'd do. Step one: Get super drunk. Step Two: Find them both. Step Three: Tell her she's a worthless whore from hell, and call her a cu'nt (there's nothing more hurtful to girls, and especially American girls) Step Four: Fight Drew. In front of her. Violently man, do not spare sh'it on that worthless waste of oxygen. Step Five: Win or lose the fight, vomit on that childmolesting son of a whore (Drew). Step Six: Go home, smoke a bowl.

[QUOTE=El Krunk]I confronted her about it and she swears there's nothing going on. She said, "[B]Have you ever heard of just kidding around?" [/B]to which I said, "There's a really big, fat line between kidding around and fooling around and you're slowly crossing that line."

Also, I got this in my inbox today from Drew.



I edited out the hurtful bits and left the ridiculous bits in.

Looks like I've got something new to fight with her about. This is getting real close to ending.[/QUOTE]

That's exactly what he said to me last night.

Sorry to hear about what she'd said about you. I hope you get it sorted.

Guys who steal another man's woman are the lowest form of life. Speaking as someone who lost his fiance to a smooth talking pigf'ucker, I'd vote for doing the worst possible thing you can think of to Drew. Not only has he stolen your woman, he's rubbing it in your face. It's so clobberin' time hombre.

[QUOTE=RIP Ian Curtis]Alright man. Here's what I'd do. Step one: Get super drunk. Step Two: Find them both. Step Three: Tell her she's a worthless whore from hell, and call her a cu'nt (there's nothing more hurtful to girls, and especially American girls) Step Four: Fight Drew. In front of her. Violently man, do not spare sh'it on that worthless waste of oxygen. Step Five: Win or lose the fight, vomit on that childmolesting son of a whore (Drew). Step Six: Go home, smoke a bowl.[/QUOTE]

I actually messaged the guy back saying I'm not interested in fighting him. However, if I find out that what he said is true, I'm going to call up Mike and the rest of the crew I used to roll with, everyone will arm up and after I throw the first punch we'll all beat him into an oblivion. This, of course, will be after I break up with Lela.

[QUOTE=El Krunk]I actually messaged the guy back saying I'm not interested in fighting him. However, if I find out that what he said is true, I'm going to call up Mike and the rest of the crew I used to roll with, everyone will arm up and after I throw the first punch we'll all beat him into an oblivion. This, of course, will be after I break up with Lela.[/QUOTE]

Are you sure you want to take it out on him like that? After all, none of this would have happened without Lela's actions, right? Just try to keep as calm as you can about it. If shes really doing all of this to you, she is not worth another thought, or the effort.

Either way, good luck. Its a tough situation and I hope it turns out okay for you.

Dude, leave behind the crew, this fight isn't about winning, this is about honour. Fight him mano-e-mano. If he wins, send your buddies around later to kill him, but you need the catharsis of a one-one unarmed fight, trust me, you will feel like god his own self.

[QUOTE=lil_drummer_girl]Are you sure you want to take it out on him like that? After all, none of this would have happened without Lela's actions, right? Just try to keep as calm as you can about it.[/quote]

I have been keeping as calm as I can be about it thus far. I left her a message telling her that when she's on her next break between classes she needs to call me and I quoted that message to her over the phone. I told her that if she doesn't call me, I'm coming in to her work tonight and confronting her about it. And yeah, if this is all true, I'm definitely going to paralyze that guy from the neck down.

[quote]Either way, good luck. Its a tough situation and I hope it turns out okay for you.[/QUOTE]

I've been hoping that for the past month and a half or so. It hasn't turned out okay so far. But thanks dear.

[quote]Dude, leave behind the crew, this fight isn't about winning, this is about honour. Fight him mano-e-mano. If he wins, send your buddies around later to kill him, but you need the catharsis of a one-one unarmed fight, trust me, you will feel like god his own self.[/quote]

Ok, new game plan. I fight him and if I slip up and take a sour blow, [i]then[/i] everyone turns him into roadkill.

Do not fight him.

[QUOTE=Tiger]Do not fight him.[/QUOTE]

I'm not going to fight him, I'm going to end him.

[QUOTE=El Krunk]I have been keeping as calm as I can be about it thus far. I left her a message telling her that when she's on her next break between classes she needs to call me and I quoted that message to her over the phone. I told her that if she doesn't call me, I'm coming in to her work tonight and confronting her about it. And yeah, if this is all true, I'm definitely going to paralyze that guy from the neck down.

I've been hoping that for the past month and a half or so. It hasn't turned out okay so far. But thanks dear.

Ok, new game plan. I fight him and if I slip up and take a sour blow, [i]then[/i] everyone turns him into roadkill.[/QUOTE]

I think fighting him is a terrible idea. Lela is the one who let him into the picture. Admittidely, he is being a dick about it, but Lela let this all happen. I'd be pissed at her, and leave him out of it.

Okay, all the other people on here are telling you the right thing to do, both of their ideas are wiser, and in the long run, will make you feel better. However, your story has got me all emotional over my breakup and, trust me on this, my idea will make you feel really, really god in the short term.

[QUOTE=El Krunk]I'm not going to fight him, I'm going to end him.[/QUOTE]


Nah man. Just end the relationship and walk away. Misplaced anger is dangerous and you'll get nothing out of a fight besides possible jail time. Not enough of this is even his fault for it to be considered justice, it really boils down to you wanting to lash out and thats selfish.

Of course it's selfish and wrong. But he's been wronged big-time by a no-good son-of-a-whore, sometimes you've gotta be selfish, becuase you deserve more than life is giving you.