I also often find that when thinking about women, I instead start to think about crustaceans. It makes masturbating very difficult.

It really does.

I called my friend's girlfriend up yesterday to see what she was doing (no, I am not trying to steal her away. I called everybody I know yesterday. I was damn bored) and she and a few of her friends (a couple of whom I am attracted to) were at a Halloween dance or something. They said I could go, and I wanted to, but my friend who was driving didn't want to "drive that far."

Stupid cockblocker.

[QUOTE=Riva;15464438]I also often find that when thinking about women, I instead start to think about crustaceans. It makes masturbating very difficult.[/QUOTE]

I just spit my coffee all over my keyboard and ended up having a stomach cramp thanks to laughing uncontrollably at this. Oh god, hahaha.

Hello all,

I was so wasted last night.
Halloween party was great, met an american hot chick.
And I won price for best costume, which gained me an expensive bottle of whiskey. :D

I woke up this morning, laying in my bed diagonally.
It was awesome.

Sup all?

np: Colosseum - Gate Of Adar

When I think of women I think of tentacles.

If they have two tentacles with nipples on them and you may touch them, then you know you have the right tentacles. :)

[QUOTE=guitrguy;15463629]Can you embarrass them in front of the whole haunted house?[/QUOTE]

Depends. Usually, I just stare at them a moment and ask, "How much did you pay to get in here?"

I had one girl pull out a cellphone in the middle of my show. I took off my headset and held the mic to the monitor, creating feedback right in her face. "Put the phone away. Now."

My favorite is when they scream at the stage that I'm a fake and magic isn't real. "There you have it folks, the fruits of public education. And I do mean fruits."

Sometimes, it's best to just stop the act, walk to the edge of the stage, and stare them down. He wants the spotlight that bad, he can have it.

I'm the kind of retard that makes people on stage look bad. :(

But I'm classy doing it.

I'm caustic.

[I]caustic[/I]

[QUOTE=TojesDolan;15464609]But I'm classy doing it.[/QUOTE]

There's a classy way to heckle people?

It's probably only classy in Mexico.

[QUOTE=Saint Peter's Truckstop;15464610]We have a corn maze near Athens, but there isn't anything fun to do because it's run by a super-religious Baptist family so if you get caught making out they'll kick you out, there isn't really any Halloween mess, and they have bible verse stands all over the place.

Damn Christians.[/QUOTE]

Fixed

[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKWAjhFwW8I[/url]

Video from Boris show the other night :D

[QUOTE=Steerpike;15464623]There's a classy way to heckle people?[/QUOTE]
There are intelligent ways to show ignorance of people on stage I guess.

>_>

I got my Halloween costume yesterday. I'm going as the ultimate warrior, with a bullet belt and an axe. And I bought this awesome mustache.

people always think im jewish because of my curly hair (from my Lebanese heritage), so for Halloween i am going to buy a fake big nose, a gold necklace and a light blue jump suit. maybe a mustache

I just watched Babel. Here is what I surmised.

- Moroccan kids shouldn't play with guns
- If you're a blond female American tourist, in all probability you will be hit by a stray bullet.
- Don't let an illegal immigrant watch your kids
- Deaf Japanese girls are really horny.

That all goes without saying though.

Americans are awlawys victims.

of bad spelling.

[QUOTE=Monticello;15465224]That all goes without saying though.[/QUOTE]

qft

Does she like glam rock?

[QUOTE=Splat Out Plath;15465318]My girlfriend's a blond female American tourist! :([/QUOTE]

According to Babel you GF is screwed.

Cheer up Splat, at least you should remain unscathed :D.

wait a second... why are you guitrguy again and no longer diabolus... I'M SO CONFUSED

because slayer is bad

true but spics

yeah fags spics beaneaters

That exactly I changed it, people assumed it was a slayer album, but it wasn't.


I like to eat frijoles, and salsa, and burritos, and tacos, and chili verde, mmmm... I'm gonna go warm up some chili verde right now.

but now people are gonna think you're from UG or something

Ug?

Ultimate-GUITAR

THEY LIKE

SWEEP PICK AND TAP

f-that, but its better than being associated with slayer.

Well she is interested in you, she must be vermin now isn't she!

You can always get one of those bear suits for. Its made out of titanium.

[url]http://www.collectionscanada.ca/eppp-archive/100/201/300/cm/html/2001/v08n02/vol4/no20/suit.jpg[/url]

Its stylish too.

[QUOTE=Splat Out Plath;15465539]et tu tojes :([/QUOTE]
Just kidding, young man.

=')

[QUOTE=guitrguy;15465550]You can always get one of those bear suits for. Its made out of titanium.

[url]http://www.collectionscanada.ca/eppp-archive/100/201/300/cm/html/2001/v08n02/vol4/no20/suit.jpg[/url]

Its stylish too.[/QUOTE]

exactly

[QUOTE=guitrguy;15465550]You can always get one of those bear suits for. Its made out of titanium.

[url]http://www.collectionscanada.ca/eppp-archive/100/201/300/cm/html/2001/v08n02/vol4/no20/suit.jpg[/url]

Its stylish too.[/QUOTE]

I'd feel like such a superhero if I wore that.

Holy **** I want one of those so bad now.

Seriously, and you will basically be invincible.

It's impossible not to have confidence in that thing.