Heh... "wandering" supermod. I was just wondering about that, since I've never seen him before. Thanks.

These **** mods should stay where we put them...

we need another bass mod, a super to fill in when lr isnt around

Like...Gaslight or Jaco :)

*Shameless Promotion*

I think wintermute is a nice guy, he would be a good mod :)

The only thing is he isn't Jaco or Gaslight..so that wouldn't work

[QUOTE=Wintermute]Oh I've been there, and got the t-shirt. But it passes. You will probably never get past being a friend, that only really happens in films. But you'll find other people. I did. At the leavers ball. I ended up going stag, which was annoying, but I didn't [i]leave[/i] stag. That was months ago, and so far everything is great.[/QUOTE]

You know what? Guy's who end up being the "friend"... might finish later.. but finish better. First, I have never dated someone that I didn't know... I've never dated someone who wasn't atleast some sort of friend first... why? In a relationship, there needs to be a friendship... otherwise, it's just a screw fest. If you can't get along with someone on a friendship level, how can you in a relationship?

Second, those guys who end up being "the friend" are some of the best guys I have met. But here is what is happening... this is going to be a psychological shpiel... so if you aren't interested in it... skip now.. :lol:

I see all the time these guys who complain about girls wanting the badasses... the jerks... I've met guys who are "the jerks" who have actually said (in my presence no less :eek: ) that "girls like to be beat and treated like sh[i]i[/i]t... why else would they go out with people like that?" (can you imagine the fear on this guy's face when he said that, and I told him that I was going to break my boot off in his arse.. :lol: ) anyway..

girls who want "the jerk" suffer from psychological issues stemming from their father- or lack there of. They are looking for affection, from obviously the wrong person, because this is how their relationship with their father played out. Either their father was a jerk.. constantly berating her, etc.. or he was non-existant.. which leaves her feeling as if something is wrong with her, that he had to abandon her....

And she doesn't realize this.. but by going after "the jerk" she is trying to heal old wounds from her childhood. Or present wounds. "If he loves me, he'll change, blah blah blah"

"the jerk" is concieved either from watching his own father's abuse and demoralize of women, or he's smart (and sick) and has figured out these types of girls.

"the nice guy".... can come out of any situation.. but usually when growing up in an environment where things were equal and stable in the house. Some nice guys, were once "the jerk" and have converted... nice guys tend to be more in touch with their feelings, with what they want out of life, and generally have a "nurturing" frame of mind. They feel some sort of desire and gain pleasure from helping people.

Now... all you nice guys out there... why are your fumbling over a girl who is stuck in such a psychological rut? Just as girls can't change guys, you can't change them. They might be nice, they might be smart.. etc etc... but they are in a place that not only can you not touch.. you just shouldn't really go there... because your equal ..."the nice girl"...is out there.

So do you see what I am saying? break the cycle. its cool to be friends and to want to help people out or whatever... but you'd do her a whole lot of good if you told her what her "problem" is. Just as she is looking for love in the wrong place, at this moment, you are too. She is going after the unattainable.. and so are you...

Secondly.. don't look for love. It's usually right under your nose ;)

LR

[QUOTE=Bass+Fingers+Amp=Groove]we need another bass mod, a super to fill in when lr isnt around[/QUOTE]

Don't bring up the whole mod thing again :upset: it's annoying and not only is it pointless to really talk about because you guys don't get a say... but we are already working on things...


LR

Doot! I had pineapple for dinner tonight

[/random]

I don't know if you directed that long post at Wintermute specifically, but, I got alot out of it too.

[QUOTE]girls who want "the jerk" suffer from psychological issues stemming from their father- or lack there of. They are looking for affection, from obviously the wrong person, because this is how their relationship with their father played out. Either their father was a jerk.. constantly berating her, etc.. or he was non-existant.. which leaves her feeling as if something is wrong with her, that he had to abandon her.... [/QUOTE]

This one girl I was pratically dying to get involved with for years was only into the jerk guys. I could never figure out why, but everyone she dated was a complete as[size=2]s[/size]hole (sorry for the language there). We were friends off and on, and even when I confronted here and said how I felt she acted like she didn't care. She was really nice, sweet, and quite so I couldn't figure out why she was attracted to the jerks.
Her parents are divorced, and she lives with her mother.


[QUOTE]Now... all you nice guys out there... why are your fumbling over a girl who is stuck in such a psychological rut? Just as girls can't change guys, you can't change them. They might be nice, they might be smart.. etc etc... but they are in a place that not only can you not touch.. you just shouldn't really go there... because your equal ..."the nice girl"...is out there.[/QUOTE]

So if we're really into one of these girls who go after the 'jerk', it's hopeless? It's hard to sit there and wait for 'the nice girl', as you so eloquently put it, because it seems that most all girls are just after the tough guys.

[QUOTE]Secondly.. don't look for love. It's usually right under your nose ;)[/QUOTE]
Easier said than done. :(

[QUOTE=UncleJam]I don't know if you directed that long post at Wintermute specifically, but, I got alot out of it too.


So if we're really into one of these girls who go after the 'jerk', it's hopeless? It's hard to sit there and wait for 'the nice girl', as you so eloquently put it, because it seems that most all girls are just after the tough guys.


[/QUOTE]

It wasn't specifically directed towards wintermute, I just quoted him and was directing it at the topic.

I'm not saying it's hopeless.. but you have to examine your reasons for wanting to be with someone who doesn't have any intention of being with you or "your type."

I see lots of guys fawn over the same girl for forever, while she goes through bf after bf. Is it that you never asked her out? or is it that she said she wasn't attracted to you like that?
What exactly is it about her that you are so attracted to.. and does no other girl have that? could it be a matter of you trying to get one over on "the jerk"... inconscious compettition?

I'm not saying any of that is the answer.. but we never act without reason... sometimes you have to stop and look for the real reason.. but the Id will not harm the Ego. The ego wants what it wants, and it's the Id's job to give it to him within the moral constraints of society. These are subconscious things in your head...

LR

ok no more mod talk, so lets talk about you LR outside of the forums, hwo is your life going, have you learned more about your BF friend? :upset:

with me its like, theres a girl i like but, im pretty **** sure she doesnt like me anymore than a friend....and uh i still like her, kinda sucks :( its just a complicated really ****ed up thing and would take forever to explain but....in my opinion love sucks :-\

[QUOTE=Bass+Fingers+Amp=Groove]ok no more mod talk, so lets talk about you LR outside of the forums, hwo is your life going, have you learned more about your BF friend? :upset:[/QUOTE]

yes how is that going? :D

[QUOTE]I see lots of guys fawn over the same girl for forever, while she goes through bf after bf. Is it that you never asked her out? or is it that she said she wasn't attracted to you like that?
What exactly is it about her that you are so attracted to.. and does no other girl have that? could it be a matter of you trying to get one over on "the jerk"... inconscious compettition?[/QUOTE]

I did ask her out, I tried to start a relationship with her for a long time. She never really said she wasn't attracted to me like that, she said she wasn't interested in a relationship or going out with anybody "right now". The thing is, she would end up going out with another 'jerk' just all of a sudden. We would still be friends, though.

She was just so sweet, quiet, cute.... she was what I wanted in a girl. We would have been perfect for each other. I guess it doesn't matter now, since I've moved to my University and all. I really thought I would have at least one chance with her.

Heh, sorry to act all 'funny' like this.


[QUOTE]
I'm not saying any of that is the answer.. but we never act without reason... sometimes you have to stop and look for the real reason.. but the Id will not harm the Ego. The ego wants what it wants, and it's the Id's job to give it to him within the moral constraints of society. These are subconscious things in your head...
[/QUOTE]

Not to sound mean or anything, because you've really helped me see things a different way here, but I just wanted to be sure. I thought the Id was associated with primitive urges, the Super Ego with morality, and the Ego balances it all. I don't mean to offend, but I just wanted to be sure (heh, I know it's off-topic).

[QUOTE=I<3myGSR200]with me its like, theres a girl i like but, im pretty **** sure she doesnt like me anymore than a friend....and uh i still like her, kinda sucks :( its just a complicated really ****ed up thing and would take forever to explain but....in my opinion love sucks :-\[/QUOTE]

I have the same kind of luck... But while love annoys me, I remain oddly optomist. I'm not sure why.

^^^i think i have the same god**** problem.

im having no luke with the ladies layely :angry:

hopefuly that will change come college this fall:D

Wow, lots of these "nice guys" seem to be here. I find it a lot easier to start going out with someone I only partially know. Once you've spent ages and ages talking to someone and helping them etc it just gets to a point where you become best friends, and going out like that isn't a best friend thing. I have this with a couple of girls, and now I see that even though its a 95% fail when it comes to getting a girl, you end up with the best friend you could ever imagine (as long as she's not insane and gets over her troubles).

Little Shop of horrors... ah, what a great piece of Americana. Now if it weren't for the underlying racism throughout the whole play... Sorry I got my degree in American Studeis... it's what I do.





joe

[QUOTE=LightRaven]What do you have in mind sweetie?

LR[/QUOTE]

Use your imagination, I could have anything Or maybe if plausible a bass with a pineapple for the body? Or anyhting it would be uber appreciated :)

@ Joe: When was it written, do you know? I haven't really researched it at all... do you think it was intentionally put in there, or was it a by-product of the writer(s) beliefs/upbringing/whatever?

Wow, listen to me trying to get all deep over "Little Shop"... :D

[QUOTE=UncleJam]I did ask her out, I tried to start a relationship with her for a long time. She never really said she wasn't attracted to me like that, she said she wasn't interested in a relationship or going out with anybody "right now". The thing is, she would end up going out with another 'jerk' just all of a sudden. We would still be friends, though.

She was just so sweet, quiet, cute.... she was what I wanted in a girl. We would have been perfect for each other. I guess it doesn't matter now, since I've moved to my University and all. I really thought I would have at least one chance with her.

Heh, sorry to act all 'funny' like this.[/QUOTE]

You aren't acting "funny." I'm sorry to hear that... I really don't like the "I'm not ready for a relationship" thing. I got blasted by it last year... He was... god, the greatest, and I took him from another relationship that was absolving anyway (I know, i didn't know he already had a gf :upset: ) And we had a great relationship... and it would have been the one that lasted forever, except, wrong place, wrong time, etc. I was really unstable at that point (with my depression) and it did hinder alot of things. But in the same token, he was also one who suffered from BPD (borderline personality disorder- which I like... have major symptoms of...) but he was farther on the road to recovery than I was. He wanted to date "exclusively".. I wanted a relationship I suppose. I would have married him. after about 7 or 8 months, we decided to take a "break." with the hopes and plans on getting back together. He was thinking in a few months...

9 months later I was told that "it wasn't going to happen." He reverted to a bunch of unhealthy tendancies (mental wise)... and didn't/doesn't see them. (ditching all your friends and family, any relationship at all... and focusing solely on school work.. IS NOT MENTALLY HEALTHY) but anyway... So.. the "not ready for a relationship thing" turned into "no relationship.. with you anyway..."

And because I was such good friends with him, I didn't want to loose his friendship... we would have been perfect for each other, regardless of what type of relationship it was... but then he ditched all his friends... i was in that mix.

I'm rambling... :confused: my point was supposed to be 1) I dislike the whole "not ready for a relationship" thing. 2) alot of girls misuse it, as a means of turning someone down polietly. But they don't understand, or care, that that phrase gives people the idea that there is hope.. just in some time.

There is like a 50/50 chance of it being used either way... but you know what? I've never seen it used in such a way as the person wasn't ready... and then when they were ready, they got together with the person they told it to.



[QUOTE=UncleJam]
Not to sound mean or anything, because you've really helped me see things a different way here, but I just wanted to be sure. I thought the Id was associated with primitive urges, the Super Ego with morality, and the Ego balances it all. I don't mean to offend, but I just wanted to be sure (heh, I know it's off-topic).[/QUOTE]

Hmm... I might have to grab my pyschology book and recheck my terms. You are probably right, and I got things mixed up. Either way.. you know what I meant... :lol:

LR

[QUOTE=I<3myGSR200]with me its like, theres a girl i like but, im pretty **** sure she doesnt like me anymore than a friend....and uh i still like her, kinda sucks :( its just a complicated really ****ed up thing and would take forever to explain but....in my opinion love sucks :-\[/QUOTE]
Join the dam club, I think I'm plauged with this problem
I'm harsh on myself so I think she hates me
Maybe we'll have a good talk one day...

[QUOTE=Fallenvictim]Join the dam club, I think I'm plauged with this problem
I'm harsh on myself so I think she hates me
Maybe we'll have a good talk one day...[/QUOTE]

I'm pretty hard on myself too. Girls I talk to start to ignore me after awhile, or just act withdrawn with me. I'm not constantly talking to them, I'm not in her face. I'm very friendly. I have no idea what's wrong. Sometimes I think I might be too friendly. :\

[QUOTE=LightRaven]9 months later I was told that "it wasn't going to happen." He reverted to a bunch of unhealthy tendancies (mental wise)... and didn't/doesn't see them. (ditching all your friends and family, any relationship at all... and focusing solely on school work.. IS NOT MENTALLY HEALTHY) but anyway... So.. the "not ready for a relationship thing" turned into "no relationship.. with you anyway..."[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry to hear that. It's strange how so many people can just hurt someone else like that all of a sudden, falsely leading them on. Everyone's life has a different path, and sometimes two people's paths don't end up going side by side, not matter how much we want to think differently. :upset:


[QUOTE]I'm rambling... :confused: my point was supposed to be 1) I dislike the whole "not ready for a relationship" thing. 2) alot of girls misuse it, as a means of turning someone down polietly. But they don't understand, or care, that that phrase gives people the idea that there is hope.. just in some time.[/QUOTE]

Ah.... I think I knew that, but didn't want to know it. But I know what you mean. I hate it, I wish people would be more direct. It may hurt more, but at least you're not mislead.

Well all; its been fun, but its also been a VERY long day. I'm off to bed.

Maybe tomorrow I can jump into all this relationship stuff, although I fear I am horribly underqualified as a therapist due to being married for 12 years... Or does that OVERqualify me? :lol:

'Night everyone!

I had a nice girl, but we ended up going to different schools and broke up (i cant drive yet)
So now im stuck sitting here being anti-social hoping maybe one of the 10,000 girls that im "the nice guy" friend to will decide she likes me so i don't have to do any work. But my bass still loves me, so im good.

im starting to love this emotion thing thats going on in this thread.....:lol: but seriously , alot of stuff happens for a reason..?...maybe something betters coming (being an optomistic person sucks ***)