I cannot read these. The blatant disregard for the English language makes me furious. Maybe I should start charging money to write effective Craigslist ads...

[quote][B]Singer songwriter needs producer[/B]

I have enough material for an album.
The album will have mass appeal.
I need recording & marketing.
Can you make this happen?

Don't email me if you live in your mom's basement, are less than 25 years old, are going to charge me, etc. What you get with me is quality material unseen in this area. What I expect from you is the same.[/quote]
Basically, it looks like the poster has sought craigslist in order to try and hit the big time. This would be mistake #1. How many other unknowns got huge off of an indie-made record they put together by finding support on craigslist?

Then there's the abrasion factor. If you're trying to put out an album that "will have mass appeal," then it's understandable that you want somebody who's relatively experienced and successful. However, there are certainly more diplomatic ways to address the issue. The ad basically insinuates that anybody who doesn't meet those criteria is a loser and not worth the poster's time (even though the poster clearly doesn't have any better leads or this ad wouldn't exist).

If you want to completely dismiss a talented, young unknown based solely on the fact that they're young and unknown, then you probably shouldn't also need to resort to anonymous advertisements on a free Internet site. You should probably have somebody in mind already.

But really, the big kicker that tells me this person doesn't "get it" is:

[quote]Don't email me if you...are going to charge me[/quote]

Let's break down what you're looking for here. You want recording [I]and marketing[/I], presumably from somebody relatively successful and experienced. They need to provide "quality material unseen in this area," which I take to mean "awesome skills and creative output." That's a big order. It'll take a lot of work. Can I do it for you? [I]For free[/I]? No.

Even assuming that this album becomes the next big seller (we're talking [I]Thriller [/I]big), there's nothing in the ad to suggest that whoever does all this leg work gets [I]any payment whatsoever[/I]. Honestly, if the services rendered didn't have value, you probably wouldn't need somebody else to do them.

Either the poster has an ego that could fill the Grand Canyon, or they're genuinely, completely, and hopelessly clueless about how the modern world works. Either way, I don't see a lot of the target audience (i.e., good producers/marketers) taking this ad seriously.

Jesus, that ad just pissed me off. If I saw that on my craigslist I would just e-mail him telling him to piss off.

[quote][B]Amateur Recording Expert[/B]

Hello,

I have a Rode NTK Compressor Mic, M-Audio Preamp, Behringer Compressor, Yahama Electric Keyboard, Lexicon Lambda with Cubase, AKG D 88S dynamic mic and several other dynamic mics, a Fender Blues Deville Amp, a SG Gibson, a Fullerton Bass, A Yamaha acoustic guitar, set of harmonicas,Boss Drum machine and a studio quality set of headphones and a couple of couch cushions to build sound forts. In short I have all the rudimentary basics of a crappy home studio without the drums. That being said, I have a lot of experience with this amateur set up because I have been and still am creating a total album of my own work from scratch (hundreds of hours). If any bands, rappers, etc ts in the [B][location redacted][/B] area want to put some tracks down of their music or what ever let me know and I would be glad to help record for a meager cost of $10.00 per song or session-which ever comes first. I live in the [B][location redacted][/B] area.

[B][name redacted][/B][/quote]
This one isn't particularly bad, but there are two things that jump out at me. The first and more obvious one is that you probably shouldn't call your equipment "crappy" when you're trying to attract clients (paying or not). Nobody really wants to work with an engineer if said engineer doesn't think a good sound can happen.

The other is more subtle. The poster purports to be an expert with the amateur rig, based on "hundreds of hours" of working with it. The problem is that these hundreds of hours have apparently all been spent working on a single project. And more tellingly perhaps, is that said project is for the engineer's personal works, which presumably can be worked on at his discretion in his free time (i.e., there's no scheduling or logistic issues slowing him down). What this says to me is that any project I would start with this guy as a client is probably never gonna see the light of day.

Granted he's charging next to nothing, and even by the song rather than by the hour. But that's all irrelevant if the project never gets finished. The point of recording music (paying or not) is so that people can eventually hear it.

[quote][B]PROFESSIONAL QUALITY PROTOOLS RECORDING STUDIO! ONLY $35 per hour[/B]

TOP QUALITY SOUND PROTOOLS RECORDING HOME STUDIO! ONLY $35 per hour!
Protools, Top end mic, Everything you need for radio quality sound.
Specializing in hip-hop, R&B & Gospel.

Book your session today at:
[B][SIZE=5][contact info redacted][/SIZE][/B]
and will get back to you within the hour. [/quote]
Other than misspelling "Pro Tools," which is common but clients may not realize, and the sort of weird issue with "R&B & Gospel" which looks awkward and like it's own genre in the listing, this isn't a terrible ad overall.

The contact info redaction is at the same font size as the original email address listing, and you could debate whether this is a good or bad thing.

However, the "will get back to you within the hour" thing is a subtle problem to me. They only post an email address, which if you read earlier in the thread I've already noted was not a time-limited response medium. Unlike a phone call, wherein they'd need to respond to you immediately, an email can sit around for a day or two and still be considered a timely reply.

However, [I]promising[/I] to return emails [I]within the hour[/I] of receipt (or possibly delivery, but that really can't guarantee that because it's beyond their control) sort of suggests to me that they are sitting at their computer workstation waiting for business emails to come in, rather than doing other things. Important things. Like other sessions (they are a working studio, aren't they?). Or sleeping (what if I send my email at 3.45am?). Or even relatively innocuous daily tasks, like spring cleaning or grocery shopping (which typically take more than an hour).

It's good to make yourself seem available to new clients and eager to take on projects, but it's bad to make it look like nobody else is choosing to work with you (or possibly that you're a malnourished insomniac living in disheveled squalor).

Kinda OT, but how do you feel about commercial studios specializing in specific styles? I've been traditionally of the thought that any studio should be able to accommodate any style, within reason (a home studio can't record an orchestra, for example). But is it better to have an engineer more familiar with your type of music, or more geared to that sort of production? For example, my home studio is geared toward live sound recording, not electronic music production. I have some VSTi's but they're more for in the context of live sound recordings. So hip hop, electronica, etc. will not be easy for me to accommodate, but anything from jazz, rock, soul, indie, etc. could easily be done.

[quote=Seafroggys;17896166]Kinda OT, but how do you feel about commercial studios specializing in specific styles? I've been traditionally of the thought that any studio should be able to accommodate any style, within reason (a home studio can't record an orchestra, for example). But is it better to have an engineer more familiar with your type of music, or more geared to that sort of production? For example, my home studio is geared toward live sound recording, not electronic music production. I have some VSTi's but they're more for in the context of live sound recordings. So hip hop, electronica, etc. will not be easy for me to accommodate, but anything from jazz, rock, soul, indie, etc. could easily be done.[/quote]

I think you just sort of answered your question for me. I think it's just the nature of the recording arts: the engineers need to decide whether or not they want to pursue certain styles and determine if their equipment is sufficient for the cause.

It's pretty natural that engineers, presumably also being music fans, will have a greater interest in working in genres they enjoy as music fans. So from the engineer's perspective it's a choice of saying "do I want/need to work on styles I'm less familiar with?" From the client's perspective, you probably most certainly want a specialist, since your style will best be served by them. Of course, the advertising doesn't tell the whole story, a "generalized" engineer might be more experienced and talented than a "specialized" engineer, resulting in a better product.

However, in general, I don't really take issue with claims of specialization.

[quote][B]Guitarist looking to start a HARD ROCK band[/B]

I'm a guitarist wanting to START a band. I like HARD ROCK (btw if Shinedown or Kings of Leon are in your definition of Hard Rock piss off). I have samples. I drink, I smoke, I use bad language in mixed company.

My rules:
1. I am not trying to make it "big." If it happens, fine.
2. I like chicks, so if you are a screamer, please note that I am not into playing to a room filled with nothing but sweaty stinky dudes. (Chicks don't dig it man, sorry.)
3. I don't know what hard"core" or post punk modern whatever is and I don't care.
4. Guitar solos are cool.
5. Have some experience.
6. Hip Hop rock/metal always has and still does suck...and its over.
7. If you do drugs, stop.
8. Beer good.
9. I will not pick you up.
10. I hate Slipnot.

I guess these are more guidelines than rules. Please include links to your samples. Do not send me anything.[/quote]


Two basic things about this one jump out at me.

The first one is the elitism. The poster basically goes out of the way to deride certain bands or styles at least 3 times (probably 5, depending on how sensitive you are). That's not a good way to get somebody interested in you as a musician. That screams ego and narrow-mindedness. What if you happen to like Shinedown/Kings of Leon/"Slipnot" [I]but also[/I] happen to like a lot of other music? You're probably not interested in this poster. By the way, nice going slamming a band's name and not even spelling it right.

The second is the juxtaposition of "no drugs" type stuff with the "I am going to smoke tobacco and drink alcohol and you better like it" stuff. In case you're curious, a [I]lot[/I] of the people who are anti-drug are also anti-alcohol and anti-tobacco. [I]Those are drugs too[/I]. They just happen to be legally permitted in the right scenario.

The whole "i smoke and drink but don't do drugs" thing stood out to me too.


I don't understand his reasoning for including "I use bad language in mixed company." remark. Does he want people to think of him as more badass because he curses? And the point about chicks doesn't make much sense to me. He doesn't want a male vocalist because they scare away the women?

Also, don't you think he should be able to find a band in his local area talking to his [i]friends[/i]? Maybe this implies that he's an unlikable person.

[quote=fishbulb;17908345]The whole "i smoke and drink but don't do drugs" thing stood out to me too.


I don't understand his reasoning for including "I use bad language in mixed company." remark. Does he want people to think of him as more badass because he curses? And the point about chicks doesn't make much sense to me. He doesn't want a male vocalist because they scare away the women?[/quote]


To be fair, the ad seems to imply that he doesn't think women will be interested in genres of hard rock that feature screaming. He's not opposed to a male vocalist in general, but more specifically to a "screamer."


[quote=fishbulb;17908345]Also, don't you think he should be able to find a band in his local area talking to his [I]friends[/I]? Maybe this implies that he's an unlikable person.[/quote]


I would say you're reading too much into it there. It's completely possible that the poster is new to the area. However, the ad itself does sort of suggest this is an unlikable person, between the derisive language toward bands/genres, to the proud proclamations of anti-social behavior ("piss off", "I use bad language in mixed company" etc.).

[quote][B]2 speaker stands (ki) $30[/B]



no pictures[/quote]



I don't normally consider sales advertisements to be included in this thread, but I saw this one and I had to laugh. That is literally the entire ad. There's no information about what kind of speaker stands are for sale, there's no contact info beyond the auto-generated email from craigslist.

I normally leave out the location info, but "ki" isn't someplace I've heard of, and I don't actually think it's a location, and instead the poster is using it like some posters use location to put things like "(PRICE DROP)" or other obnoxious info.

Literally the only thing that is said about the actual item for sale is that there aren't photos and there never will be.

So this begs the question: is this spam? If so, what would be the point exactly? There's no click-through, or any reason to really contact this person. The best you could do with this is scam email addresses out of people who are interested in the speaker stands and send a message seeking more info. But there's not even enough info here to convince somebody that the item actually exists. I can't imagine that's a good scam to run, either.

hey moseph, let me know what you think, i want to be specific without sounding like an ***:

I'm looking to help a band who's got talent but no funding that I could help produce/ songwriting and record. I've got pro studio experience and i know how to make recordings sound like whatever you want. The reason why I'm doing it for free is I want to make a name for myself and I'd rather be picky with the talent than with the funding. My day job pays my bills, until my name is worth more than that; I'm giving out free work to those who deserve it.

Genres I would prefer to work with:
Hard rock preferably hard rock electro
Hip Hop
Electro/ trance/ dance etc
Hardcore
Metal

Genres I would like to avoid:
Punk
Indie
Electro Indie
Pop
Alternative/ acoustic projects
Throwback bands are an indefinite NO

My prerequisites are:
Drummer who can play to a met
all members can play their instruments comfortably
singer can sing on key
no screaming
open to new ideas from an outsider
a bass guitar, I have all the other instruments/ amps if you don't

I understand this seems a bit specific, but please understand this is free work, I don't want to be stuck doing 12 hour days with a band that just isn't what I like, or not good at their instruments. I'm not artist development, I'm not a manager. but I can help steer you in the right direction since your success directly benefits mine.

A few impressions come to my mind:

(01) I would leave out the list of stuff you're trying to avoid. For one, that might put off some talent out there, particularly if they consider themselves on the border between a style you want to work in and a style you don't (Hardcore/Punk distinction comes to mind immediately). The second big thing is that you might be pleasantly surprised by what you find outside the desired genre.

(02) I would phrase the requirements line differently, if at all. Nobody wants to be called out for sucking before they meet you. You also might dig the tunes without the client meeting [I]all[/I] the requirements.

There's also a general vibe of superiority. It's not as grating as your first post in the Jam Session (which gave a bad enough impression that I still recall it), but you probably want to avoid this. Remember that you wouldn't be making the offer if there wasn't an exchange of benefit (you even mention something to this effect at the end). A few edits and you can get rid of all the issues.

The basic rule about that, for me, is "don't tell me, show me." It's okay to think that you're all-that-and-a-bag-of-chips (provided you are), but don't talk so much about it. If you've got demos, this would be a good place to put them. Preferably, said demos would be something you've done using your current gear/methods.

There's also some copy-editing stuff. Basic grammar is easy to spot, but there's kind of a "rambling" tone in the intro paragraph. However, if this is how you generally speak/type, then it's probably okay to leave it alone.


Suggested edits are below:

[quote=EDIT;17922498]I'm looking to help a band [B]with[/B] talent but no funding that I could help [B]with production,[/B] songwriting and record[B]ing[/B]. I've got pro studio experience and [B]I[/B] know how to make recordings sound like whatever you want. The reason why I'm doing it for free is I want to make a name for myself and I'd rather be picky with the talent than with the funding. My day job pays my bills, until my name is worth more than that; I'm giving out free work to those [B]who's music I like[/B].

Genres I would prefer to work with:
Hard rock preferably hard rock electro
Hip Hop
Electro/trance/dance etc
Hardcore
Metal

[B]Some conditions apply. Please inquire for more information.[/B]

[B]I'm only looking to record/mix/produce. [/B]I'm not artist development, I'm not a manager. [B]B[/B]ut I can help steer you in the right direction since [B]my success goes hand-in-hand with yours[/B].[/quote]


If I saw the above ad, I'd be more inclined to contact you than the original version. Keep in mind that this, like most of this thread, is based on my opinion.

This is actually an interesting use for this thread (to me, anyway). If anybody else has comments about this potential ad, or wants their own ad critiqued, feel free to post.

[QUOTE=Moseph;17922694]A few impressions come to my mind:

(01) I would leave out the list of stuff you're trying to avoid. For one, that might put off some talent out there, particularly if they consider themselves on the border between a style you want to work in and a style you don't (Hardcore/Punk distinction comes to mind immediately). The second big thing is that you might be pleasantly surprised by what you find outside the desired genre.

(02) I would phrase the requirements line differently, if at all. Nobody wants to be called out for sucking before they meet you. You also might dig the tunes without the client meeting [I]all[/I] the requirements.

There's also a general vibe of superiority. It's not as grating as your first post in the Jam Session (which gave a bad enough impression that I still recall it), but you probably want to avoid this. Remember that you wouldn't be making the offer if there wasn't an exchange of benefit (you even mention something to this effect at the end). A few edits and you can get rid of all the issues.

The basic rule about that, for me, is "don't tell me, show me." It's okay to think that you're all-that-and-a-bag-of-chips (provided you are), but don't talk so much about it. If you've got demos, this would be a good place to put them. Preferably, said demos would be something you've done using your current gear/methods.

There's also some copy-editing stuff. Basic grammar is easy to spot, but there's kind of a "rambling" tone in the intro paragraph. However, if this is how you generally speak/type, then it's probably okay to leave it alone.


Suggested edits are below:




If I saw the above ad, I'd be more inclined to contact you than the original version. Keep in mind that this, like most of this thread, is based on my opinion.

This is actually an interesting use for this thread (to me, anyway). If anybody else has comments about this potential ad, or wants their own ad critiqued, feel free to post.[/QUOTE]

Wow, that looks and reads a lot better than the original. Thanks for the help!

I had some of the same thoughts as Moseph (I first typed out [b]Moses[/b]! :D) about the prerequisites section. If you do not include that section you will get more offers that you will most likely have to decline, but a few of them will be potential clients. Personally, i wouldn't mind spending a small amount of time declining all the people who don't meet your expectations than discouraging more than that many people to respond at all.

The other big thing to keep in mind is that you need to have a certain sense of professionalism in declining too. Rumors can get spread if you don't approach things the right way, and your reputation can be shot before you actually do any projects (worst case scenario, anyway).

Don't make up some BS excuse, don't tell them they suck, don't promise to get back to them and never do and don't counter-offer a paid session instead (that makes you look like a scam-artist). Say something along the lines of "I'm looking to pursue other opportunities at this time."

Give a couple of reasonable explanations, something like "I'm really hoping to work in the genres I listed right now", or "Given my available equipment and experience, I'm not convinced that working with me will improve over your current recordings."

That last one is nice for when you have a band with more money than talent and they're clearly just trying to take advantage of you for free recording, or if they have a marginal demo already and you think they suck.

Oh, you also have to be wary that a lot of the folks out there will not be as professional as you yourself should be.

Case in point, I've done something sort of similar by offering limited-quantity free sessions to bands in the area who had MySpace demos I liked. Basically, I would send them a MySpace message offering two free recording sessions and free unattended mixing because I liked their stuff. Most bands ignore it, some respond in the positive, but one group in particular had this to say:

[quote]don't spam out a bogus message man. if you really are doing this for free just tell me what the scam is right Now so I don't have to find out later. if ur not a spamming robot then send me back a message with every band you have dealt with before with a link to their page and where u plan to do this "recording". too sktechy so far so u are gonna have to earn our service of music.[/quote]


The rough patch of this is that the requests involved aren't terrible: "prove to me you aren't a spambot." The overall angry tone is problematic though. Plus the chip-on-the-shoulder, which I think is capped off with "u are gonna have to earn our service of music." Like [I]they [/I]would be doing [I]me[/I] a favor by letting me record them, on location, free of charge. I liked the tunes, but that left a bad taste in my mouth.

I did return the request by complying, but basically ended with "I hope that proves I'm not some scammer. Clearly you aren't interested to work with me. I'm sorry to hear that. Good luck to you in the future."

Now the only thing I can do is hope they don't spread any rumors about me in their local community (there are other groups I've solicited with a similar offer in their area).

You know what might be a good idea is hitting up local scene shows. I think maybe the bands are just tired of scammers even though your intentions where good. It's possible that had you offered in person at one of their shows, maybe they might be less angry about it?

In person is always better. It shows that you actually care enough about this that you put your own personal time into it instead of mass e-mailing hundreds of bands. Although i guess the whole scam-factor is still a problem.

Oh yeah, there's no disputing on that one. If I really wanted to make sure I had 100% the best impression possible, I'd only ever solicit my services at a show. The reality of the situation is that isn't particularly feasible for me most of the time (for reasons both within and beyond my control).

The real point was that you shouldn't ever come off as less than polite and at least somewhat professional. Let's assume that band contacted me back and was like "okay, cool, let's do the recording!" My new response would be: "I'm not sure we're a good match anymore." I'm not sure I'd want to record them even if they offered to pay me in full. Since I run a mobile rig, that's a lot of legwork to walk into a potentially terrible situation.

It's all a two-way street, know what I mean?

[quote][B]Any "GOOD" band's need a bassist[/B]

Is there a GOOD band that needs a GOOD bassist. If so I am available. Do Not waste me time if you are inexperienced, under 20, still play through a 45 dollar practice amp, and so forth. I am looking for anything in the rock genre (heavier or softer), if it isn't influence by rock, don't email me saying well its not what your looking for but i think you may like it.......i don't...... you wasting time! I'm not an a**h**le I am just sick of wasting my time. please email me some of your music and i can email you samples of myself. Also i play through an 8X10 please at least play through tubed amps. thanks![/quote]
[profanity censored by me to preserve meaning]


First off, I one one contention to make:

[quote]I'm not an a**h**le[/quote]


Yeah, you are. There are many small changes that can be made to this ad to get the same results that aren't all about you, and how everyone needs to live up to your standards. Observe...


[quote][B]Any "ROCK" band's need a bassist[/B]

Is there a ROCK band that needs a GOOD bassist. If so I am available. I'm [B][age][/B] years old and have [B][experience][/B] years of experience, so I'm only interested in groups that are over 21, have some experience, and gig-ready equipment (I play through an 8x10). I am looking for anything in the rock genre (heavier or softer), and only in the rock genre. For anything else, I'm not your guy. Please email me some of your music and i can email you samples of myself.[/quote]
Why would this be a more suitable way of posting this ad? Well, for one, the post would qualify the distinctions without needlessly discounting groups of folks. For example, in the original ad, we don't know if the under-21 crowd doesn't work because this bassist is 21 and loves to get loaded in bars, or because he's 41 and wants to play with musicians in his generation.

Saying you're only interested in one genre is quite a bit different than saying you don't like anything else. The former phrasing makes you look focused and dedicated, the second phrasing (i.e., the original phrasing) makes you look like a close-minded jerk. However, they have the same basic effect of letting folks know that you know what you're looking for, and it's pretty specific.

Also, the tube obsession is naive at best. There is such a thing as loud, crappy tube amps. There is also such a thing as good sounding solid state, even for high-gain music styles (Dimebag Darryl's use of solid state Randall's being the classic example).

thanks for teaching me how to write an ad

[quote][SIZE=2][B]all girl punk/rock band forming[/B]
[/SIZE]
all girl hard punk/rock band forming in [B][location redacted][/B]. looking for vocals, bass, guitars, drums, keys, and anything else you can bring to the table.
if interested call Michael at [B][phone number redacted] [/B][/quote]This one is actually [I]written[/I] pretty well. It's informative, succinct, and fairly intelligible. There's just two issues:

(01) There doesn't appear to be any musicians attached to the project if they're looking for all the basic punk/rock elements.
(02) This "all girl" band is being formed by "Michael", which is typically a male name.


These two things, in combination, suggest to me that perhaps this isn't on the up-and-up. Either it's some dude looking to meet women and into musicians, or it's a guy pulling a scam on some unsuspecting rube with stars in her eyes.

This, by the way, could be completely [I]wrong[/I] of me to assume. That's the tragedy of this particular ad, though: somebody wise to the kind of weirdos that use craigslist is probably not gonna assume the best from this ad.

he's probably their manager or one of the girls' dad

[quote=Xomblies;17952712]he's probably their manager or one of the girls' dad[/quote]


And one sentence stating so would make this a really solid ad.

How NOT to advertise yourself
 

Hi Guys.

I too only fly online, only flying offline when Im testing new planes..
I would also like a automatic PIREP because Im a real lazy git and most of the time forget or cant be botherd to fill one out.....So many hours not logged...
Flying online poses another problem with Emerald air and that is the flying back to base rule, because when I fly I always look first on servinfo to see where ATC is and how much time I have to fly, so that limits the destinations I have, and if there is no ATC on my return leg, maybe a day or two later I dont fly it..
So I dont get the Hours logged. Couldnt we maybe relax the return to base rule, like it was in the good old days which will then alow us to always pick the routes manned with ATC....This is supposed to be fun after all, and whats the point of flying online with no ATC?.......
[url=http://www.unclepaydayloan.com]fast cash advances[/url] | [url=http://www.unclepaydayloan.com/faxless-payday-loans.shtml]faxless payday loans[/url]

because flying has EVERYRYTHING to do with music forums and faxless payday loans...

[quote][B]Record That Album/Mixtape Now Recording Studio[/B]

Hey,
Need a great sound for your new project come revcord with us get a great clean professional sound we charge ($50 an hour) We have great equipment including rode mics, Yamaha monitors, mac comp, pro tools, logic 9, we also sale tracks lease 50-100 Exclusive 200-Up please give us a call TODAY! for all your studio needs we are open everyday and can work with you we also have packages if needed give us a call [/quote]
Man, this one came very close to being a solid ad, but it managed to fail in hilarious ways.

Firstly, the title suggests that they named the studio "Record That Album/Mixtape Now" Recording Studio. I just find that funny, especially since they don't ever give you the actual name of the place.

Then you've got the punctuation woes. That whole ad is technically one sentence, with an exclamation point ("TODAY!") jammed in the middle. Plus I find it hilarious that they've got their rates in parentheses. Is that number supposed to be a secret? I just get this image in my head of somebody acting as spokesman for the studio, with some dude behind the scenes whispering the lines to him.

[quote][B][SIZE=2]SAVE MONEY & TRAVEL TIME*$45 HR STUDIO TIME* I BRING THE STUDIO TO YOU[/SIZE][/B]

I KNOW IT IS HARD FOR SOME OF MY LOCAL ARTIST TO GET OUT
TO THE STUDIO SO I AM BRINGING THE STUDIO TO YOU. I HAVE
UP TO DATE RECORDING EQUIPMENT WITH PROTOOLS 8 THAT LETS
ME DO EVERYTHING THAT YOU CAN DO IN A STUDIO IF YOU HAD
THE TIME TO TRAVEL TO IT. ALL I ASK IS THAT YOU HAVE YOUR
OWN EXTERNAL HARD DRIVE TO SAVE YOUR WORK & MUSIC ON
SO THAT YOU AND ONLY YOU WILL HAVE ACCESS TO IT AT ANY
AND ALL TIMES. AND IT IS A BIG PLUS FOR YOU TO ALREADY
HAVE LYRICS AND BEATS READY AS WELL AS THIS SAVES YOU
A LITTLE MORE TIME RECORDING BECAUSE THE BETTER YOU
KNOW YOUR MATERIAL YOU CAN KNOCK OUT MORE SONGS
IN LESS TIME IT WOULD TAKE YOU TO DO IF YOU WAS WRITING
AND RECORDING ON THE SPOT. I LOOK FORWARD TO HELPING
MY LOCAL ARTIST SAVE MONEY AND RECORD. [/quote]


So, let's ignore the all-caps and the misspelling of "Pro Tools." We've covered this ground before, and I think we're all familiar with it.

The big thing that sets off an alarm, for me, is that this guy wants you to provide the external hard drive. This is a big no-no, both from the client and engineer's perspective.

The simple problem is the engineer's perspective. He's essentially walking into a recording situation with an incomplete setup and relying on the client to have the correct component. He doesn't specify that a USB/Firewire external drive is most appropriate. He assumes that the client will have something with the proper specs (for example, most bus-powered hard drives don't spin fast enough to stream lots of audio). He's never tested his set up with that particular hard drive. And to top it off, he doesn't know what's already [I]on[/I] that hard drive, including possible malware. His whole business plan is centered around a major flaw.

The client too, should probably hear some alarms going off. First off, going back to the above points, what if the client doesn't know what sort of hard drive to provide? My guess is that the client will either not know that not everything will work, or won't be sure what to buy. If they're unaware, they will probably just buy whatever they can find at a price they like, even though it might not be fast enough, or too small for what they're looking to do (16 GB flash drives are getting pretty cheap!). If they're unsure, their first instinct is probably to find somebody else who's more accommodating, rather than call this guy up and ask questions: there's no shortage of engineers, many of whom are cheaper than $45/hour.

Also, the engineer seems to be treating the hard drive like reels of tape would be treated. While it's not unreasonable to make the client responsible for their own media purchases, the analogy isn't exact. The hard drive is replacing both the tape and the [I]tape machine[/I]. It doesn't only provide storage, but also the interaction between the storage and the other devices (in this case, the computer). In the old days, you might have needed to pick up your own reels of tape, but you weren't expected to provide the machine. In fact, normally the engineer/studio would provide you with tape at additional cost, because that way they knew they were dealing with the correct format/biasing/stock of tape.

Then there's that bit about "you and only you" will have access to the files. Seems reasonable on first glance, but it's not like the client can do a whole lot with the files on their own without the right software/hardware. Again, this is like the reels of tape: in the old days, the client [I]had[/I] to go back to the studio to have access to the recorded material. But this isn't the case anymore. With the hard drive, this engineer is either writing himself out of the equation (you can find an MBox for less than the cost of 10 hours of work with this guy), or assuming you're gonna fork over $45/hour just to get access to the data, and you'll do so on another person's schedule (nominally, his). But if your data is locked away on a device that is literally designed to plug into any modern computer and work, either of those assessments sort of goes out the window.

how much you wanna bet that guy's got an mbox and an avalon?

[quote=Xomblies;17990769]how much you wanna bet that guy's got an mbox and an avalon?[/quote]

I think you're assuming too much with the Avalon.

you're probably right

[quote][B][SIZE=2]NEW PRO STUDIO! WOW @ RATES! INDUSTRY GEAR!

[/SIZE][/B]Are you a musician looking for that quality that you need but can't afford to pay high costs? Well have a deal going on that's $20/hr for Professional Studio time. We have daily LOCK OUTS for $200 a day, Meaning you get 12hrs. Plus we do Photography, Web Designs, Graphics, Management, Mixing and Mastering and various other services we offer. We also Finance if you don't have all the money up front. Call us for more info. Here's the list of gear we use.

We are offering $20/Hr for Professional Studio Time! We also have LOCK OUTS FOR $200! 12 Hrs of STUDIO TIME! We also Finance artists that need that extra help achieving what they need for their music. Free tours welcomed. This is a rare opportunity to miss out on. Contact us for immediate booking! We offer Recording, Mixing & Mastering, Photography, Graphics, Wed Design, Management And Various Other Services! [B][website redacted][/B]

HERE IS OUR GEAR LIST!

Console, Interface & DAW

Pro Tools LE 8 + Digirack 003

- Behringer DDX 3216 Console

Mastering DAWs

- IK Multimedia T-Racks 3 Mastering Suite
- Steinberg WaveLab 6

Power & Conditioning

x1 Furman M-8Dx
x1 Philips Surge Protector

Monitoring System

x2 Yamaha HS80m
x1 Yamaha HS10 Sub Woofer
x1 Behringer MicroAMP HA400 4 Channel

Headphones

Custom headphone monitoring for each musician.

x2 AKG K99 Headphones

Microphones

Condenser/FET/Tube
x1 Neumann U-87ai
x1 AKG Solidtube

Dynamic:
x1 Shure SM-57
x1 Audix D-6

Much more mics available upon request.

Equalizers

x1 Avalon VT-737 SP

Software Equalizers:
UA-D Pultec EQP-1A
Waves SSL EQ
Waves SSL Channel
Waves API 550a
Waves API 550b
Waves API 560
Waves Renaissance EQ 2,4,6 Band
T-Racks Vintage EQP-1A

MANY MORE!

Compressors, Limiters, Gates & Dessers

x1 Universal Audio 1176LN Limiting Amplifier
x1 Avalon VT-737 SP
x1 DBX 166 Vintage

Software Compressors:
UA-D 1176SE
T-Racks Vintage Fairchild 670
Waves API 2500
Waves SSL Comp
Waves SSL Channel
Waves Renaissance Compressor

MANY MORE!

Microphone Preamps

x1 Avalon VT-737 SP

Instruments/Keyboards/Guitars/Cabinets

x1 Epiphone Les Paul Std. w/ Burstbucker Pickups
x1 M-Audio Axiom Pro 49
x1 Peavy 6505+ 112 1x12

[B][contact info redacted][/B][/quote]So this one is pretty good, actually. There's just a proofreading issue at hand.

The first issue is that the 1st and 2nd paragraphs are almost carbon copies of each other: you can get away with repeating yourself in a long ad like this, but not when things are back to back. That makes it look like copypasta, which in turn makes it look like you're careless with your editing.

Speaking of which, there's also this line:

[quote]This is a rare opportunity to miss out on.[/quote]I think what they [I]think [/I]this means is different from what it [I]actually[/I] means. I think they're trying to say "This won't happen often! Don't miss out!" They're actually saying "This won't happen often! Make sure to skip it now!"

Granted they might be more interested in working at whatever higher rates they're hoping to charge later, but isn't the point of all advertising to drum up business?

One other thing that sticks out about this ad is the extensive gear listing. I don't have any problem with this, but I'm curious if anyone else has thoughts about it. Is it a thing you generally want to see? Is there such a thing as a list that's too long to be useful? Would a gear listing hurt your impression of the studio if it didn't have the gear you'd expect? I generally hold the opinion that gear isn't a secret, but it's only important if asked about it. Has anyone got another opinion, and if so, why?

I think the gear list is a bit unnecessary in an itemized list; maybe mentioning some of the brands of gear you have in the body of a paragraph would be a better idea.

i'm not impressed by a studio with only one mic of each kind... we live in a stereo world here guys

[QUOTE=fishbulb;17992264]I think the gear list is a bit unnecessary in an itemized list; maybe mentioning some of the brands of gear you have in the body of a paragraph would be a better idea.[/QUOTE]

I don't even like it when they list brands. I don't give a **** if a studio has Neumann.

[quote] [B]** Recording Studio **- EVERY OTHER STUDIO ON CRAIGSLIST COPIES US![/B][/quote]



[quote]---- OUR DEALS ARE SO ABSURD, WE'RE PUTTING OTHER STUDIOS OUT OF BUSINESS! ----

Everyone in [B][location redacted][/B] is talking about how we offer great studio rates, financing plans and more for serious musicians.

Bar none, we have THE BEST EQUIPMENT, THE SMARTEST ENGINEERS AND THE MOST LOVEABLE FACILITY!

CALL US AT [B][phone number redacted][/B] TO BOOK TODAY! $20.00 UNTIL THE END OF JUNE!

DONT BE FOOLED BY OTHER STUDIOS! THEY MAY HAVE CHEAP PRICES! BUT ARE THEY CARRYING NUEMANN U-87s, AVALON 737sps, UA 1176s, ENTIRE WAVES, UAD, SSL AND API CHANNEL STRIPS!?? FAT CHANCE![/quote]


This one is interesting for a couple of particular reasons. First off, you should know that this ad was posted by the same studio that did the "gear-list" ad I posted last time. The second thing you should know is that this studio has been posting a whole bunch of different ads/deals/special events, just like this ad claims. The third thing you should know is that they opened in April 2010 (their earliest ads stated this).

So, take a look at the title. If you've been around for 2 months, and your doing the same thing as other studios, how are [I]they[/I] copying [I]you[/I]? Particularly those that have been posting ads with similar deals for a year or more.

Also, what makes a studio facility "loveable?" Does it have big puppy-dog eyes? Is it soft and warm and suitable to act as the mascot for fabric softener? This is really a creative license issue here, but I don't go around claiming my recording services are "cuddly and cute." At some point the metaphor doesn't make any sense anymore.

Lastly, one thing you should [I]never[/I] do is flat out lie about your gear. Check their previous ad I posted with the gear list. They don't have full channel strips from UAD, SSL, and API. They have Waves plugins that emulate said channel strips. SSL and API do in fact make completely analog hardware channel strips (UAD may as well, but I'm not particularly familiar with any product matching that description). They are not the same thing as the plugin version. It's really a GIGO problem: with the plugins, you're still relying on whatever other preamps/converters you already had [I]before[/I] you apply the "boutique" processing. With the channel strips, that early stage [I]is[/I] the boutique processing. Between that key element and the classic "Nuemann" issue (it's spelled "Neumann" and pronounced "Noy-mahn"), it makes me wonder how much they actually know about their equipment and also what else they might be lying about.

[quote][B]NEED A CD BURNED ASAP (help)[/B]

Help I need a CD burned for a show this weekend actually it was due yesterday. I don't have the stuff to do it.

I only need 1 track on 1 cd. the track has to be candy coburn (pink warrior) with black eyed peas (rock that Body mixed in the middle of it. Please can anyone make this cd for me, call me asap for details and I can meet you today to pick it up and listen to it in your car (mine has no cd player ) I will pay you $20 after i listen to it and make sure its right.

please hurry call me lets get this done asap you will be my hero! [B][phone number redacted][/B][/quote]
Simply put, this is the post that is made at the junction of desperate, incompetent and crazy.

This is somebody who's past a deadline already and apparently believes that it's not a big deal so long as it gets done eventually. Okay, that part isn't the big deal, but expecting a stranger to feel something is urgent just because you [I]already screwed up[/I] isn't exactly gonna win you any favor from somebody reading an anonymous post like this. How many people are gonna read this and think, "huh, sucks to be you" and move on with their lives (hint: at least one, so probably a whole lot more).

The "incompetent" part is the remarkably low threshold of performing this feat. Craigslist is a computer-based medium. By virtue of the the fact that the ad was posted in the first place, the poster probably has access to the requisite components (i.e., a CD burner, which is provided on like every computer manufactured in the past 10 years unless you specifically requested [I]not[/I] to have it). But let's assume they don't for some reason (it's broken or something): do you not know [I]anybody[/I] else who might be able to help you out here? You can't go to a school or public library and make use of their computer? If this gig requires that you have this particular CD, and you don't have the skill necessary to get it, [I]how did you get the gig[/I]?

Also, this is a weird request because of how specific it is, but without actually giving a good idea of what's required. What does it mean to have a song with another song "mixed in the middle?" While the phone call might clear things up, why couldn't you just prep the file yourself if you know what you want to do, or at least be present while it's happening for direction?

But let's talk "crazy" for a minute. The poster wants to make sure the product is right. Fair enough, even considering it seems to assume that whoever is doing this already has the necessary tracks and freaking clue what exactly needs to be done (I'm giving a lot of credit to the phone call here). How does the poster want to check the product? [I]By listening to it in your car on the CD player[/I]. So either there's some car-specific reason for this (which is odd, seeing as how otherwise no car with a CD player is available), or this person has never heard of a Discman. Or like, a bookshelf player. Or a computer. In a home, where if the product doesn't work out you can easily fix the issue and make another disc. Like a sane person would be interested in.

I imagine that there's a very high risk somebody's gonna spend an hour or more on this ridiculous issue to help out, and then not be able to claim their $20 because of a small flaw detected by a frantic lunatic who has decided to be locked up with them in the same car.

I'd negotiate $50 and tell him I'm bringing a boombox with an extension cord

[quote][B]without music id die[/B]

Looking fot musicans of all types and ages looking to start a band
if interested and want to audition text [B][phone number redacted][/B] or email with name and what you play ur skills strengths weaknesses and musical prefences i like all im dre by the way[/quote]
This is not an effective ad because of a crucial lack of any sort of details that might help the reader be interested:

(01) We don't know a single thing about what you're hoping to put together? Is this a casual group, or do you want to try to make some money at this? Does age/gender/"look" matter, and if so, what are you hoping to find? Covers or originals (or tribute band)? While it's fine that you're a fan of "all" types of music (which you should never say because it's never true, but that's another topic entirely), you probably have at least a few different styles that you want to [I]play[/I]. Scott Ian listens to a whole bunch of different music, but he definitely plays guitar in a metal band. It's not that weird of an idea.

(02) What exactly do you bring to the table? What part of the band are you going to fulfill (voice/instrument)? Do you have a place to practice, or do you need somewhere to go?

In short, thanks for the effort, Dre (which based on the grammar earns you a C+ at best), but I'm betting most folks are gonna pass on this one without giving it a second thought.