[QUOTE]6th - Pixiesfanyo – I don’t think the word “interesting” is the best word to use to describe your death-themed piece, since that would imply that I was entertained by this attempt at originality. The title mislead me into believing that I was about to read something truly amazing. It’s like pancakes: every time I see them on a menu for breakfast, I think “Man, those look good.” But then by the time I get done with the third or fourth one, I think “Why the hell did I just eat those?” Except, with your song, it only took me getting to about line three before I grew tired of it. Your structure is what bothered me the most. You hit us over the head with all of these adjective/noun combinations (“Careless waves,” “Graceful guts,” “Surreal copulation,” and “Useless attempts” all in the first stanza) at the start of each line. It just makes it boring to read. I commend you for at least trying to take a topic that’s been done to death (no pun intended) and giving it a few hints at being innovative. You took the classy route in describing the scene, rather than trying for shock value or something like that. It did have some genuinely great lines stuck in it (“Passive in nature, but the safety has been off for days”), but it just didn’t do much for me overall.[/QUOTE]

hm. it's not about death, it's about f[B]u[/B]cking.

Wow, I honestly did not get that at all. I really thought it was about him wanting to take his own life or have someone else do it for him. Amazing. But after I went back and re-read it, that's some pretty good stuff. I might have to change your rank a bit.

whens this over? i want to play.

Voting? I think it has another week to go or something, there are some votes that haven't been sent.

wow.. how did i get bumped from 1 to 4 pixie?

i think this needs to be closed now.

if you changed your votes just so you could win.. that's pretty shady

cause with the votes now.. you win exactly by 1.

wow that really pisses me off.

[QUOTE=k.s.e.]if you changed your votes just so you could win.. that's pretty shady

cause with the votes now.. you win exactly by 1.

wow that really pisses me off.[/QUOTE]

No, I just reread the pieces after WHOVOODOO wanted a crit, and I put some minor changes. I didn't do it to win?

I can change it back if you want...

Voting should end tomorrow night to let the remaining stragglers get their votes in. But no more extensions.

/votes

Disco, my hidden meaning (I didnt intend it that way) is the yellow tape that says 'Crime Scene' as a worm. A friend's brother was assaulted by the police as he tried to resist arrest for robbing a store. He didn't die though he does in the song. His goody two shoes fiancee broke off the engagement after she heard of it and became an alcoholic slut. I'm slightly acquainted with her and I thought I'd chronicle her drinking. The tape worm can be the alcohol, the yellow tape or the police or all three at once.

[QUOTE=Disco Donkey]Wow, I honestly did not get that at all. I really thought it was about him wanting to take his own life or have someone else do it for him. Amazing. But after I went back and re-read it, that's some pretty good stuff. I might have to change your rank a bit.[/QUOTE]

yeah. but, that's something i struggle with, being ambigious but not to the point where you can't get it. the gun reference kind of points towards suicide but it has to do with masturbation. neat

[QUOTE=pixiesfanyo]No, I just reread the pieces after WHOVOODOO wanted a crit, and I put some minor changes. I didn't do it to win?

I can change it back if you want...[/QUOTE]

They're your votes. Do whatever you want.

I just don't understand how i dropped 3 ranks. Pardon me if I still believe it was for your gain.

[QUOTE=k.s.e.]They're your votes. Do whatever you want.

I just don't understand how i dropped 3 ranks. Pardon me if I still believe it was for your gain.[/QUOTE]

Well, if I had put points it would've been alot easier to see. Because I'd rate all the songs equally. But as a read back over them I saw some subtle differences that pushed DD's and Silence's songs ahead of yours. Sorry if it seemed like for my gain. :(

Is internet really that important?

I can change your rate once again just so lose by more points so what.

uuhh LC drama over here

I will get round to voting soon. I just find it strange how two or three people can rank me so high and the rest so low. Thanks to anyone who voted me first, it made me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Tell me if we're done and if so who is DQ'd.

[QUOTE=Crimsonpunk]I will get round to voting soon. I just find it strange how two or three people can rank me so high and the rest so low. Thanks to anyone who voted me first, it made me feel warm and fuzzy inside.[/QUOTE]

Difference of opinion..

Disco - My song was about a Christian friend of mine who was contemplating suicide by crashing her car. She lost her parents recently, and wants to "join them in heaven". That should explain the first verse. The rest is basically me reasoning with her about why she shouldn't. The second verse is about how the golden pearly gates are really faded and that the priests just are fighting and hiding the truth. The third verse was relating the materialistic nature of Christmas to the death of religion, but was mostly setting up for the fourth verse, saying even as the materialism tramples over religion, it doesn't "end the world" or change much of anything. The final verse should be self-explanatory at this point. I didn't think it was a difficult thing to comprehend..

dun dun dun Drama...

Anyhow, yes this LC went from boring to very, very surprisingly dramatic.

[QUOTE=pixiesfanyo]Difference of opinion..[/QUOTE]
Wait, is that legal?

i'm guessing.

i'll post a new word soon.

[QUOTE]I’ve been holstering my weapon far too long
Passive in nature, but the safety has been off for days
Nightly self desecrating the pristine trigger[/QUOTE]

Oh yeah, I get that now. Masturbation. I like the Sin City refrence to "my weapon", that was neat.