[QUOTE=Cain]All right, here goes. This is the post I originally wrote before I thought that you guys might not be pleased if I gave away specifics.

AHEM:[SIZE=5]STAR WARS SPOILERS AHEAD![/SIZE]

I have just seen the new Star Wars movie. It was one of the most disappointing viewing experiences of my short life thus far, and this when I was EXPECTING a bad movie. It went beyond the realm of simple things like incompetent moviemaking (which there was plenty of) and entered the realm of offensive, disrespectful banality, pissing all over three movies that deserve to not even be associated with this so-called "prequel."

Partial list of offenses:
1.) Incredibly understated acting in scenes not called for that at all, where planets are being destroyed and ships are disintegrating and Ewan MacGregor still almost cheerfully exclaims ridiculous statements like "It's alright, we're still flying half a ship."
2.) Emperor Palpatine, the best thing about this movie, nevertheless in parts being reduced to ridiculous voice-synthesizer nonsense that make his lines laughable rather than menacing.
3.) I'm sick and tired of Yoda's sentence structure. Almost every single reference to the original movies in these prequels has been reduced to a gimmick rather than a character definition, Yoda's way of speaking is positively one of them: "Backwards run the sentences until reeling the mind is."
4.) Blatant ignorance of continuity, even regarding the films in the actual Star Wars trilogy: apparently George Lucas was so angry about not being able to direct Empire Strikes Back or Return of the Jedi he didn't even watch them. Otherwise, how can Leia state in Return of the Jedi that she remembered her mother when Padme died in childbirth?
5.) Other gimmicky crap such as piecemeal, totally unneccesary appearences by Chewbacca and other assorted Wookies.
6.) Retarded droids. How can they possibly be a threat to the Republic when they're such idiots? Watch General Grevious especially. He was a grevious threat all right: a grevious threat to my ability to take the movie seriously. Unintentional irony abounds in this movie in more than this way, too, let me tell you.
7.) Lucas cannot write a love scene to save his life. The stilted delivery of nearly all dialogue between Anakin and Padme induces laugh after laugh, and they are not made in good humor either. They were painful.
8.) This entire movie is an example of why computer effects suck. When absolutely NOTHING in the movie is real--not even the god**** COUCHES that the characters are SITTING ON--the reason for the actors' terrible acting becomes apparent, and the blame then rests with the director.
9.) They never really managed to explain to me how stormtroopers developed different personalities from one another (not to mention American accents) if they're all still clones of Jango Fett (who ties Jar Jar Binks for worst possible character addition to these movies IMO).
10.) Why in the hell is it called the Clone Wars when the bad guys are idiot droids? No war is named after the good guys, for Christ’s sake.
11.) Anakin’s lines have matured slightly, I’ll grant him that: instead of saying “I’m just SO MAD!” three times, he says “I’m just SO FRUSTRATED!” two times.
10.) Dressing Hayden Christiansen in the Darth Vader suit was totally inappropriate. And funny. Why? Because this Darth Vader is a good five or six inches shorter than the man who wore Darth Vader's suit in the original movies. It shows: a wobbly oversized helmet on a puny-suited body. Apparently they ran out of effects budget for fixing little detail.
11.) Even more innappropriate, and the worst case of blasphemy: instead of calling up James Earl Jones one more time to deliver Darth Vader's grand total of THREE LINES just for nostalgia's sake(in a movie which friggin’ RELIES on nostalgia, rather than skill), what should be the most awe-inspiring, terrifying moment of transformation of Anakin into Vader is ruined, in favor of putting Hayden Christiansen's voice through a voice synthesizer designed to emulate the tone James Earl Jones's Vader voice had, but retaining all of Christiansen's crappy vocal inflections.

I HATED THIS MOVIE. I apologize to people like ArrestThisMan, who I know have enjoyed it. I also apologize for the spoilers. If desired, I shall edit them out. I’m sorry. I do not recommend this piece of crap at all. Better than the first two prequels? Yes. Darker? Yes. But I was right: even that PG-13 rating is just another element of the hype. But this movie just made me so depressed I can’t even describe it: how can the man with the vision to create Star Wars create such amateur **** based off of his own creation? Yet there I was, watching dung with George Lucas's name on it for two and a half hours. There were two redeeming scenes in the movie: Palapatine's seduction of Anakin was great, as was Anakin's fit of anger with Obi-Wan on the volcanic planet when he totally loses it. But that’s it. I’m sorry. I’m going to pretend these prequels were never made, and I recommend that everyone else does the same. I apologize for the rant. If you are a true Star Wars fan, viewing this film will only upset you.[/QUOTE]

You know what I haven't had in a while? Big League Chew.

(I apologize...I just had to say it.)

I never had any intention of seeing it. The first three were kinda "meh" and the last two were atrocious.

[QUOTE=Illmatic]You know what I haven't had in a while? Big League Chew.

(I apologize...I just had to say it.)

I never had any intention of seeing it. The first three were kinda "meh" and the last two were atrocious.[/QUOTE]

Don't apologize. It made me feel better. :lol:

I wish Vince or munky were here. They'd share my pain.

If I had just gone on a big league rant and someone had made a smarta[size=2]ss comment in reply, I wouldn't have handled it as well.[/size] In that respect you are a far better man than I.

[QUOTE=Illmatic]As for a top ten, here's something me and a friend hashed out online:
Miles
Bob Dylan
James Brown
Phil Specter
B.B. King
Lou Reed
Chuck Berry/Elvis Presley
John Lennon
Brian Eno
John Coltrane[/QUOTE]

That's a pretty good list. You know if Rolling Stone or someone made it, they would have Eminem and Kurt Cobain :rolleyes:

But you and your friend have beaten the system with that fine piece of work. But what about Russell Simmons?

He's top 20/top 25 I'd imagine; top 50 at least.

Rolling Stone's top 10 would be:

John Lennon
Kurt Cobain
Elvis Presley
Eminem
Madonna
Paul McCartney
Bob Dylan
Michael Jackson
Mick Jagger
Ozzy Osbourne

VH1's would be no different.

EDIT: Now here's a question. How come every Girls Gone Wild video is market as "THE HOTTEST GIRLS GONE WILD VIDEO YET!!!!" when they're all basically the same thing?

And how clever is the founder of that company? "I have an idea...let's film drunk college girls flashing their t[size=2]its and making out with each other, and then sell the tapes. Think there's a market for that?" Guy's probably a millionaire now.[/size]

Hey everyone, I'm Bruce Willis. If you'd like to get to know me a little better, you can feel free to add me on MySpace @ [url]http://www.myspace.com/wbwillis[/url]

Thanks guys, take it easy.

[QUOTE=Bruce Willis]Hey everyone, I'm Bruce Willis. If you'd like to get to know me a little better, you can feel free to add me on MySpace @ [url]http://www.myspace.com/wbwillis[/url]

Thanks guys, take it easy.[/QUOTE]

You'd better start getting funny quick, or else you're gonna get banned. I saw you in the Pit and I wasn't impressed.

I may buy the new gorillaz album... then again i may buy mesmerise instead... I don't know

cain- I disagree with you totally- I was expecting a bad film and saw an excellent conclusion to the star wars legend

my band practice was cancelled AGAIN... sometimes I don't know why I bother

[url]http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1565619[/url]


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

that was wierd

what were you pointing out peticularly?

[QUOTE=Lord Abortion]that was wierd

what were you pointing out peticularly?[/QUOTE]
Umm, click the link and maybe you'll find out. Can I not show some comedy? Its hilarious.

I did...

the mario voice thing?

[QUOTE=Illmatic]
I think that it would have to be a combination of talent, vision, impact, influence, and recognition--which would ultimately make it impossible to narrow it down to just three. But what if we were to expand it to a top five or ten? That would be feasible, I think.[/QUOTE]

A top ten would be much more possible, yeah.

[QUOTE=Illmatic]
Eno was the godfather of electronic music, so he deserves some recognition.[/QUOTE]

He was the godfather of ambient, so he deserves recognition for that. But if you're going for electronic godfathers, you'd end up going back to Kraftwerk (or, if you think you should go back further, then to people like Stockhausen and Varese. Maybe even Theremin).

[QUOTE=Illmatic]
And how clever is the founder of that company? "I have an idea...let's film drunk college girls flashing their t[size=2]its and making out with each other, and then sell the tapes. Think there's a market for that?" Guy's probably a millionaire now.[/size][/QUOTE]

He is rich as hell. I watched some show about GGW. Not that I wanted to see boobs or anything.

[QUOTE=ArrestThisMan]He is rich as hell. I watched some show about GGW. Not that I wanted to see boobs or anything.[/QUOTE]
lies...

hooray for boobies!

that's a cool album title, though the bloodhound gang suck mightily

[QUOTE=Lord Abortion]I may buy the new gorillaz album... then again i may buy mesmerise instead... I don't know[/QUOTE]
Get them both!!! I love Mezmerize and I like the Gorillaz new song, so getting their new albums should be worth your while.

I can upload the new Gorillaz if you want it.

I only have £10 left in the whole world 'til I get paid cause of rammstein tickets

But on the plus side, you have Rammstein tickets.

[QUOTE=Lord Abortion]I only have £10 left in the whole world 'til I get paid cause of rammstein tickets[/QUOTE]
When is the show, or has it already happened? Make sure you write a concert review in the official thread. IT will make munky_magik happy.

[QUOTE=Bartender]But on the plus side, you have Rammstein tickets.[/QUOTE]
that is a positive...

I have also had lunch... which consisted of:

2 pork pies
one packet of mccoy's flame grilled steak crisps
on bottle of panda pop - odd blue flavour

mmm... healthy

I want my CJS account back. I make a terrible Bruce Willis.

[QUOTE=Metal_Head_617]When is the show, or has it already happened? Make sure you write a concert review in the official thread. IT will make munky_magik happy.[/QUOTE]
Yes. Yes it will. Do it, Please :)

So. I went all the way into f[font=]u[/font]cking Edinburgh and all the way back out of f[font=]u[/font]cking Edinburgh, and I didn't even get a single f[font=]u[/font]cking Cd.
Stupid city :mad:

In slightly better news the new Magus Cd is released on the 30th :)

Morning.

So I saw the new Star Wars movie, and yes, the rumors are true:

Yoda gets naked and has a love scene with an Ewok (you were wondering about the PG-13 rating, weren't you?). It had to happen sometime.

But all kidding aside, the movie was pretty good. I totally didn't see Anakin going to the dark side coming (I said "coming")!

NP: Watch Them Die- Sadist Ways

[QUOTE=ICB]Morning.

So I saw the new Star Wars movie, and yes, the rumors are true:

Yoda gets naked and has a love scene with an Ewok (you were wondering about the PG-13 rating, weren't you?). It had to happen sometime.

But all kidding aside, the movie was pretty good. I totally didn't see Anakin going to the dark side coming (I said "coming")!

NP: Watch Them Die- Sadist Ways[/QUOTE]

The Anakin going to the dark side thing was the whole point. :confused:

Unless that was kidding as well.

I take it the irony was that padme wouldnt have died if he didnt turn evil?

[QUOTE=Lord Abortion]lies...

hooray for boobies!

that's a cool album title, though the bloodhound gang suck mightily[/QUOTE]

Nah, that's a good album. :)

NP: RATM - Bombtrack

[QUOTE=88_Fingers_Joe]I take it the irony was that padme wouldnt have died if he didnt turn evil?[/QUOTE]

No one ever accused George Lucas of working with complex themes in his moviemaking.

[QUOTE=Cain]The Anakin going to the dark side thing was the whole point. :confused:

Unless that was kidding as well.[/QUOTE]

That was pure smart-assery, buddy.

[QUOTE=ICB]That was pure smart-assery, buddy.[/QUOTE]

Gotcha. I hated the movie, so I'm inclined to take any sort of positive praise for it in a bad way.