[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Didn't Guad run into a closet and she chased him and they ended up making out?[/QUOTE]

yeah

but i'm not seeing how you're relating that to my argument with her

that situation, in fact, was never brought up during it

what was the arguement about

Hey Everyone,

I read this thread from time to time, and there really is some great advice in it, but it seems no matter how much of it I apply, the girl thing doesn't work out for me. I am not really self-confident, but I have been working on that, and I think I am making progress. Anyway, to get to the point, there is this girl I really like that I met this summer. She is the nicest, coolest girl that I have ever met. I like everything about her that I know of. We were hanging out tonight with some friends and had a little bit to drink, and everything was going well at the party.

I guess I should go a little into the back story first. Don't worry, it's short :p. There is this guy that has a big crush on her also like I do. She just broke up with her boyfriend who she was living with, so she moved in with the guy with the crush on her and his friends because he had room at his place for her.

Now, I got home not long ago and was chatting with her and she proceeded to tell me how much she loved me and stuff like that (we were all a little tipsy, so I didn't take this to be some sort of sign or anything). Then she told me some messed up stuff about her childhood, which I listened to, and I was glad to help. Then she hit me with the big bomb that has really crushed my spirits:

"You know how they say in University that you make all these new friends, but then lose them, well you are going to be my friend for life."

Now, this made me happy and sad in a way. I really want something more with her, but this guy with the crush on her is much better with girls than I am, and something tells me that I am going to lose this for that reason as well as the fact that I seem to be in the "friend zone." She even told me I was good looking! I guess this is more of a rant than anything, but I am just really depressed right now about that one thing she said and I feel really ****ty. It also drives me crazy knowing he is there with her right now, and while that doesn't mean anything is happening, my mind is wandering to thoughts of what could be happening.

I guess I am just sick of seeing guys that get girls all the time get yet another girl while I, someone who would never wrong a girl if she just gave me a chance, am left in the dust again. I am 19 years old and sick of this. I understand I am not the only one in this situation, but I wish that just once I could get the girl. Now, I am still taking what she says with a grain of salt because she is relatively drunk right now, and still partially attached to her ex-boyfriend. They only broke up a couple of weeks ago. I know that now would not be the time to make a move anyway because it takes time to get over a break up, but dammit it drives me crazy knowing he is there with her right now!

This is more of a rant than anything, and I'm sorry for it being so long. No one has to reply, but I just need to get that stuff off my chest because I just don't understand how I get to be "just friends" with these girls. It has never bothered me so much as now because I have never liked a girl as much as this girl since my last very short relationship a couple of years ago. I am just gonna sleep on it, although I know I will see her around tomorrow, and when I see her I will be thinking of her and the guy. Oh well, I guess I will just have to move on. Thanks to anyone who reads this. No advice is necessary, but it would be appreciated. Like I said, though, this is a rant.

[QUOTE=ThePinkPanther]yeah

but i'm not seeing how you're relating that to my argument with her

that situation, in fact, was never brought up during it[/QUOTE]

Of course it wasn't. But it's underlying.

[QUOTE=Drone]Dilema.[/QUOTE]

Steerpike always says this about the friendship thing: If you act like a best friend to a girl, that's all you'll ever be, because the girl will never date a best friend. This is paraphrased...when he sees this he can say exactly what he usually says correctly, but, my god, it's so true.

If you want to be more to a girl than friends, don't be a best friend. As a matter of fact, don't be a good friend, even. Don't be there to pick up the pieces; don't be there to hold her hand.

Don't listen to what people say when they are drunk. I've proposed before when I was drunk.

Hmmm. Yes I know Steerpike is good at this kind of thing. So how to I avoid helping her without her thinking I am an asshole. By the way, this is to be applied next time. I don't think there's much hope on this one. Thanks for the advice, though, I do feel better. :)

I wish he was here; he can explain it so much better than I can. I have it half formed in my mind in a girl's point of view, but can't articulate it so you know what to do for the next time.

Dammit.

post-argument

so my friend augie decides to mediate (along with my friend marley) the discussions between me and kaylee. (once again on AIM, in a chat room though).

me and kaylee start discussing our issues. We each bring up several points and whatnot. Eventually i think we worked crap out. but she said everything is gonna be really awkward now. But we were trying to think of ways to make it not, but we figure time is the only solution.

AIM isnt really a good place to have serious talks.

This should be a sticky.

It hasn't been a sticky for the past 2 or 3 years this has existed, it probably will remain that way.

[QUOTE=Drone] Then she hit me with the big bomb that has really crushed my spirits:

"You know how they say in University that you make all these new friends, but then lose them, well you are going to be my friend for life."

Now, this made me happy and sad in a way. I really want something more with her, but this guy with the crush on her is much better with girls than I am, and something tells me that I am going to lose this for that reason as well as the fact that I seem to be in the "friend zone." She even told me I was good looking! I guess this is more of a rant than anything, but I am just really depressed right now about that one thing she said and I feel really ****ty. It also drives me crazy knowing he is there with her right now, and while that doesn't mean anything is happening, my mind is wandering to thoughts of what could be happening.[/QUOTE]



Hang in there dude. I was in the "friend zone" for about 4 years with my current girlfriend. being friends is often a good way to start a relationship. if you're friends for a while, things won't be all awkward if and when you do start dating. And even if you don't ever date her, you'll end up having a great friend either way.

:chug:

[QUOTE=Indie Rocker]Hang in there dude. I was in the "friend zone" for about 4 years with my current girlfriend. being friends is often a good way to start a relationship. if you're friends for a while, things won't be all awkward if and when you do start dating. And even if you don't ever date her, you'll end up having a great friend either way.

:chug:[/QUOTE]

I couldn't have said it better. I probably would've said it worse, haha.

Thanks, man! You made me feel better. I guess I was just depressed that I may not have been able to be with her soon, but she just broke up with her boyfriend anyway. It would be rude to make a move for an emotional relationship at this point. This other guy might have me beat in the sex part at the moment, but I have qualities that he does not have such as the ability to make her laugh all the time. All is not lost, I guess I just got frustrated quite quickly, I will see what happens from here.

Edit: Nothing happened between them. She said they just watched Lord of the Rings, and she has never lied to me as far as I know, so this is fine by me. :D

*sigh*

I was gonna go to Sara's house this Sunday to watch a movie with her, but her mom said she was gonna be in the same room supervising. Then Sara asked her why she couldn't trust her, and now her mom's grounded her for the whole weekend.

Now I'm really bummed out. :(

[QUOTE=nobodyblossomsforever]*sigh*

I was gonna go to Sara's house this Sunday to watch a movie with her, but her mom said she was gonna be in the same room supervising. Then Sara asked her why she couldn't trust her, and now her mom's grounded her for the whole weekend.

Now I'm really bummed out. :([/QUOTE]

wtf..is she like 12?

No, she's 15. That's the weird part.

Leaving for vacation soon, for a week. This is the first time me and my girl are going to be apart. I'm going to be bummed. I got it bad. :(

[QUOTE=nobodyblossomsforever]No, she's 15. That's the weird part.[/QUOTE]

Hm. I dont know. I guess 15 still is a little young. But I dont see why she would supervise you guys watching a movie together. Its not like watching a movie together is a ticket to the love shack. Which I would hope to hell not, since she is only 15.

Ok, even weirder. She will let us go to the movie theater and sit in a dark building completely unsupervised, but she wont let us watch a movie if we're in the living room sitting on a couch and she could still check up every 20 minutes, wtf...

[QUOTE=nobodyblossomsforever]Ok, even weirder. She will let us go to the movie theater and sit in a dark building completely unsupervised, but she wont let us watch a movie if we're in the living room sitting on a couch and she could still check up every 20 minutes, wtf...[/QUOTE]

Yah but its not like your gf could straddle you out in public or something. I dont know to be honest, some parents are just crazy like that. Im glad mine were never doing that.

Next time, why dont you just invite her over to your place then? If you really dont wanna chill with her mom?

Well apparently we're going to the movies on Sunday now, but I wanted to meet her mom first so she wouldnt feel uncomfortable having her daughter come to my house.

Maybe Chaindrive is secretly her mother and she doesn't approve of your avatar.

Anyway, I had a situation like that with my girlfriend in high school.

Her parents were both military, and even though I was my typical charismatic and polite and respectful self to them, they still insisted that they check up on us watching movies downstairs. I got used to it, and it wasn't a terrible situation at all because I de-emphasized it, and she wouldn't feel so bad about it. She kept apologizing for it, and I was like, 'Don't even worry about it' and it was good times.

Fifteen is still kind of young, but maybe she's just mommy's little girl :)

I dont really have any problems but I was wondering if anyone could tell me their experiences in relationships where they have been younger than their girlfriend (im just 17, shes almost 18, basically a full school year older) as I have now been with my girl for about 5 weeks after about a month of seeing each other and as she is going on a holiday with friends, im just wondering how much respect she will have for me if some buff older guy tries to chat her up. It's inevatibly going to happen as she's away for 2 weeks but I guess im looking for some reassurance or things I can do/talk about before she goes away and during the time shes away.

[QUOTE=Jom]Maybe Chaindrive is secretly her mother and she doesn't approve of your avatar.

[/QUOTE]

Chaindrive is mother to all.

[QUOTE=RedMorningLight]I dont really have any problems but I was wondering if anyone could tell me their experiences in relationships where they have been younger than their girlfriend (im just 17, shes almost 18, basically a full school year older) as I have now been with my girl for about 5 weeks after about a month of seeing each other and as she is going on a holiday with friends, im just wondering how much respect she will have for me if some buff older guy tries to chat her up. It's inevatibly going to happen as she's away for 2 weeks but I guess im looking for some reassurance or things I can do/talk about before she goes away and during the time shes away.[/QUOTE]
Well, how much do you trust her? Does she trust you? TALK to her. Bring up the subject of trust in a convo with her and make boundries before she leaves.

So, I was chatting with my boyfriend last night, and he said that I'm someone he'd love to have a family with. We're talking about the future alot lately, and getting a flat together etc. It's just so nice to hear him say things like that to me. I can't believe how well things are going with us. I think he's the one. As much as a cliche it is, that's what I'm really starting to believe.

Anyway. That's all I wanted to say.

[QUOTE=Mr. Ron]Well, how much do you trust her? Does she trust you? TALK to her. Bring up the subject of trust in a convo with her and make boundries before she leaves.[/QUOTE]

Background:
we are both virgins but (with a risk of sounding arrogant) in solid groups of friends and with good social lives and good confidence.

She has told me she would never cheat so I really want to trust her and do 90% but she has been chatted up by 25yr old guys before and easily looks her age, and although I am mature and look slightly older myself I feel threatened by all the other men that will be on that holiday.

[QUOTE=Blue Haze]So, I was chatting with my boyfriend last night, and he said that I'm someone he'd love to have a family with. We're talking about the future alot lately, and getting a flat together etc. It's just so nice to hear him say things like that to me. I can't believe how well things are going with us. I think he's the one. As much as a cliche it is, that's what I'm really starting to believe.

Anyway. That's all I wanted to say.[/QUOTE]
Me and my GF talk about starting a family in a few year too. :)

I'm so glad we both feel the same way, I too think my love is the one.