alright i'll sum up my situation

So basically, there's this girl i like. She is beautiful, smart, funny, listens to (for the most part) good music, and is one of my best friends. Now i've pretty much liked her since i met her, which was like february 2005. At that time until that summer she was going out with one of my good friends. That summer, around a month to a month and a half after her and my friend broke up, i asked her out. She said she didn't feel like having a boyfriend at that time, and she hasn't had one since my friend. Now, you may think she's not over him, but from what i can tell and from what i've talked to her about, she is. Which leads to my next point: she is generally pretty apathetic towards a lot of things, such as guys in the sense of dating them. She cares about her friends though and if they get hurt and such, example being she was there (in a way) during my past two break ups.

She knows that i like her in between girlfriends, like between one breakup and another girl. That i really wish i hadn't shared with her but hey what can you do. Lately (for the past month-ish), she's been rather passive, in a way, towards me. We argue a lot more than we usually do, not about anything important or that matters, maybe it seems worse than it is because we both can get loud. Also some other stuff about the way she's been acting to me is bothering me, and my friends say i'm just paranoid and i've talked about the stuff with her and things seem to be getting better. I know she sees me as a good friend, and the same to her from me. But i'm not too sure on how to approach this one because she's really not one of those "hey lets go out sometime" girls (thats not actually what i say, but the meaning is there).

She's gonna be at this movie night at my friend's house and i'm gonna be there too. I'll have several hours to make my move. Several of my friends don't think i have much of a shot, even though they're doing their best to try to help (that's actually why the movie night was planned). Now, even though i know i'm probably gonna go for it, would it be a good idea to make my move there?

there's probably more i could say, i'll say it if needed.

This is a short answer, but that's because I have to go eat right now, I wouldn't make a move unless I was sure that she liked me the same way. That's just me though. I'd have better advice than that but seeing as I'm thinking fast...

Alright, I have a little situation you guys may be able to help me out on.

Theres this girl, that I went out with for a month before she broke up with me, sighting she didnt want to get hurt as a reason (nevermind that lame excuse). We were really good friends before we went out, and were really tight.

After the breakup, it kind of made our friendship awkward for the next couple of weeks but now we have sorted things out and have decided to work on our friendship.

But the thing is, when we are talking on the phone, or on MSN or in real life, there's no "flame". It's kind of boring, and we have nothing to talk about. It's like we have no motivation to keep the conversation flowing. I really want our friendship to work out, and I'm trying to do everything I can for that to happen.

My question to you guys is, what can I/we do to reintroduce that flame? Or to keep topics coming when we are talking? We seem to take each other for granted right now, as friends, and what can we do to change that?

Thanks.

[QUOTE=ThePinkPanther]alright i'll sum up my situation

So basically, there's this girl i like. She is beautiful, smart, funny, listens to (for the most part) good music, and is one of my best friends. Now i've pretty much liked her since i met her, which was like february 2005. At that time until that summer she was going out with one of my good friends. That summer, around a month to a month and a half after her and my friend broke up, i asked her out. She said she didn't feel like having a boyfriend at that time, and she hasn't had one since my friend. Now, you may think she's not over him, but from what i can tell and from what i've talked to her about, she is. Which leads to my next point: she is generally pretty apathetic towards a lot of things, such as guys in the sense of dating them. She cares about her friends though and if they get hurt and such, example being she was there (in a way) during my past two break ups.

She knows that i like her in between girlfriends, like between one breakup and another girl. That i really wish i hadn't shared with her but hey what can you do. Lately (for the past month-ish), she's been rather passive, in a way, towards me. We argue a lot more than we usually do, not about anything important or that matters, maybe it seems worse than it is because we both can get loud. Also some other stuff about the way she's been acting to me is bothering me, and my friends say i'm just paranoid and i've talked about the stuff with her and things seem to be getting better. I know she sees me as a good friend, and the same to her from me. But i'm not too sure on how to approach this one because she's really not one of those "hey lets go out sometime" girls (thats not actually what i say, but the meaning is there).

She's gonna be at this movie night at my friend's house and i'm gonna be there too. I'll have several hours to make my move. Several of my friends don't think i have much of a shot, even though they're doing their best to try to help (that's actually why the movie night was planned). Now, even though i know i'm probably gonna go for it, would it be a good idea to make my move there?

there's probably more i could say, i'll say it if needed.[/QUOTE]

better to regret something you did than something you didnt do is the best cliched advice that comes to mind:thumb:

[QUOTE=ThePinkPanther]alright i'll sum up my situation

So basically, there's this girl i like. She is beautiful, smart, funny, listens to (for the most part) good music, and is one of my best friends. Now i've pretty much liked her since i met her, which was like february 2005. At that time until that summer she was going out with one of my good friends. That summer, around a month to a month and a half after her and my friend broke up, i asked her out. She said she didn't feel like having a boyfriend at that time, and she hasn't had one since my friend. Now, you may think she's not over him, but from what i can tell and from what i've talked to her about, she is. Which leads to my next point: she is generally pretty apathetic towards a lot of things, such as guys in the sense of dating them. She cares about her friends though and if they get hurt and such, example being she was there (in a way) during my past two break ups.

She knows that i like her in between girlfriends, like between one breakup and another girl. That i really wish i hadn't shared with her but hey what can you do. Lately (for the past month-ish), she's been rather passive, in a way, towards me. We argue a lot more than we usually do, not about anything important or that matters, maybe it seems worse than it is because we both can get loud. Also some other stuff about the way she's been acting to me is bothering me, and my friends say i'm just paranoid and i've talked about the stuff with her and things seem to be getting better. I know she sees me as a good friend, and the same to her from me. But i'm not too sure on how to approach this one because she's really not one of those "hey lets go out sometime" girls (thats not actually what i say, but the meaning is there).

She's gonna be at this movie night at my friend's house and i'm gonna be there too. I'll have several hours to make my move. Several of my friends don't think i have much of a shot, even though they're doing their best to try to help (that's actually why the movie night was planned). Now, even though i know i'm probably gonna go for it, would it be a good idea to make my move there?

there's probably more i could say, i'll say it if needed.[/QUOTE]

What kind of move are you planning on making, Evan?

[QUOTE=Alf™]Alright, I have a little situation you guys may be able to help me out on.

Theres this girl, that I went out with for a month before she broke up with me, sighting she didnt want to get hurt as a reason (nevermind that lame excuse). We were really good friends before we went out, and were really tight.

After the breakup, it kind of made our friendship awkward for the next couple of weeks but now we have sorted things out and have decided to work on our friendship.

But the thing is, when we are talking on the phone, or on MSN or in real life, there's no "flame". It's kind of boring, and we have nothing to talk about. It's like we have no motivation to keep the conversation flowing. I really want our friendship to work out, and I'm trying to do everything I can for that to happen.

My question to you guys is, what can I/we do to reintroduce that flame? Or to keep topics coming when we are talking? We seem to take each other for granted right now, as friends, and what can we do to change that?

Thanks.[/QUOTE]

Maybe you could do some different things when you're together? Things that you haven't done before?

[QUOTE=nobodyblossomsforever]Ah.

Well this guy hasn't been drunk driving. He has like a record for beating people up/toturing people by cutting them with knives and all that.[/QUOTE]

Where the hell is this girl's parents???

Seriously, how could any mentally functioning parent let their [I]15 year old[/I] daughter go out with someone like that?

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Maybe you could do some different things when you're together? Things that you haven't done before?[/QUOTE]
Yeah, I'm thinking of taking her into the city for the day, then getting her to come stay the night at my place to watch movies and whatever. That's definetly not something we would normally do, so maybe that would help.

It still doesn't really change the fact we have nothing much to talk about anymore.

[QUOTE=Alf™]Yeah, I'm thinking of taking her into the city for the day, then getting her to come stay the night at my place to watch movies and whatever. That's definetly not something we would normally do, so maybe that would help.

It still doesn't really change the fact we have nothing much to talk about anymore.[/QUOTE]

Friends sometimes grow apart, unfortunately. It's a part of life.

[QUOTE=Towlie]Where the hell is this girl's parents???

Seriously, how could any mentally functioning parent let their [I]15 year old[/I] daughter go out with someone like that?[/QUOTE]

Her dad doesn't know, and her mom forbids the relationship. They haven't seen each other for 2 months.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]What kind of move are you planning on making, Evan?[/QUOTE]

see, that's what i'm really stuck over.

Should i be honest and tell her how i feel about her then ask her out?

or (depending on the scenario)

do something that shows that i like her then kiss her?

cause both could happen depending on how the night turns out

I'd try to do something caring for her to get her softened up.

[QUOTE=nobodyblossomsforever]Her dad doesn't know, and her mom forbids the relationship. They haven't seen each other for 2 months.[/QUOTE]

Well, it's good that the mom doesn't allow it, and that they haven't been seeing each other. I just don't see what it is about criminals that girls find attractive. :\

I guess he has a soft side (his fatass is bound to).

Well she called me, and we just talked about random stuff like usual. Nothing special.

I recently reconciled with an ex a little while ago and we decided to take it sort of easy, but not really slow. We're all for granting each other "favors", but I have a bad conscience where I don't really like asking for favors. We feel as though it won't rip us apart by us giving mutual sexual favors, but still..
I've given her favors when I felt the time was right, but she wants to return them and I would feel quite greedy/arsehole-ish if I just asked her for a handjob or oral.
This might pose a problem. She might get the idea that I don't like her enough to merit her favors, and I'd like to get closer to her than I did last time, both emotionally and physically. If anyone has suggestions to help me with this conscience issue, I'd really appreciate it. For the sake of the relationship.
This is basically my first very serious relationship, on an emotional and physical level. The first time was just two teens messing around and acting close, but we've matured and it's getting more serious as it goes along.

[QUOTE=ThePinkPanther]see, that's what i'm really stuck over.

Should i be honest and tell her how i feel about her then ask her out?

or (depending on the scenario)

do something that shows that i like her then kiss her?

cause both could happen depending on how the night turns out[/QUOTE]

If you want to get to the bottom of it in a hurry, tell her how you feel, straight up.

[QUOTE=Alf™]Alright, I have a little situation you guys may be able to help me out on.

Theres this girl, that I went out with for a month before she broke up with me, sighting she didnt want to get hurt as a reason (nevermind that lame excuse). We were really good friends before we went out, and were really tight.

After the breakup, it kind of made our friendship awkward for the next couple of weeks but now we have sorted things out and have decided to work on our friendship.

But the thing is, when we are talking on the phone, or on MSN or in real life, there's no "flame". It's kind of boring, and we have nothing to talk about. It's like we have no motivation to keep the conversation flowing. I really want our friendship to work out, and I'm trying to do everything I can for that to happen.

My question to you guys is, what can I/we do to reintroduce that flame? Or to keep topics coming when we are talking? We seem to take each other for granted right now, as friends, and what can we do to change that?

Thanks.[/QUOTE]
you shouldn't have to put effort into a friendship

i mean "effort" yeah

but not "efforty" effort. if it takes alot of work to just have fun together whats so great about the friendship anyway

[QUOTE=Yppolitia]How long has this been going on for?

Maybe your mum has had something happen to her recently that has made her this way like some very bad news that has made her upset and have ot take her anger and/or frustration out on you and your brother?[/QUOTE]

It's been going on for aggggges, i don't think anything upset her or she had any bad news or anything like that, she was fine for the rest of the day.

[QUOTE=Herbert_da_fish]I can relate, again lol (it is you who I keep having similar situations with right?). My mum can become totally irrational for no reason at all and start yelling and swearing at everyone. It's the same with all my family except for me because I don't swear. It really offends me when people yel and swear when arguing with me, because I [B]never[/B] swear at them- so I think it should be reciprocated.

My sister is the worse. She can't take any sort of criticism (sp?) so when I disagree with her on something, she goes nuts, calls me everything under the sun then storms off.

I don't understand - if I try talking to someone in a cool and clam manner- why they can't just be polite and do the same for me. It really maddens me.

I remember one time when I forgot to put my shoes in the shoe cupboard once- my mum went totally off her rocker, started yelling and swearing, stormed out the house and threatened to leave. I mean jeeeeze, chill.[/QUOTE]

Haha yeah it's me who has the similar situations, and im EXACTLY the same with what you said, i don't understand why there HAS to be yelling and stuff. Why do people assosciate argument with yelling, cos to me they don't need to go together, and she (as a mature adult) should just talk it out calmly like i try to. Eh well she's calmer now, but next time she starts yelling at me i'm just going to tell her, "from now on when you start yelling i'm going for a walk, and until you can speak to me normally and civily (sp???) i'm not going to bother fixing things"

That will probably start some chain reaction of bitching and complaining but i think it has to be done, she has this mindset that it achieves things, i don't.

Thanks for the responses :)

Wheres a good place to go or a good thing to do on a first date besides the movies?

Dinner. Go for something different, say go to a very random, yet fun place.

In case you don't want to be original, some fancy restaurant will do.

Hmm... maybe to the park. Take a walk if she's not to fat. She might get offend otherwise (that happened to me. Twice.)...

[QUOTE=The Zapper]Wheres a good place to go or a good thing to do on a first date besides the movies?[/QUOTE]

A walks always good! It's great for conversations and you definately get a strong friendship bond which tends to lead on further. Always been a successful date.



I have a problem..
This guy had asked me to go to prom with him, of course just as friends as I'm already in a relationship.

His girlfriend (which I didn't know he had) just announced that she was with him and she wants to go with him. He told her that he's going with me and they've fallen out. :/

What a clever guy?

I told him that he should go with her, as it is the obvious solution but he's just saying "nah, I told her I'm going with you"

Argh?!

talk to the other chick?

[QUOTE=zealous]A walks always good! It's great for conversations and you definately get a strong friendship bond which tends to lead on further. Always been a successful date.



I have a problem..
This guy had asked me to go to prom with him, of course just as friends as I'm already in a relationship.

His girlfriend (which I didn't know he had) just announced that she was with him and she wants to go with him. He told her that he's going with me and they've fallen out. :/

What a clever guy?

I told him that he should go with her, as it is the obvious solution but he's just saying "nah, I told her I'm going with you"

Argh?![/QUOTE]
So he asked you to the prom when he already has a girlfriend?

What a dufus.

But seriously, you can't expect him to go to the prom with someone other than his girlfriend :-/

I know a few people that had arrangements about prom going back for over a year. Things change, some people ended up having girlfriends at the time but that never changed anything.

If you had the arrangement of going with him before he was with this other girl, then good for him for sticking with it. :)

My ex wife asked me to her prom. I found out she already was supposed to go with someone, but she blew him off a day before the prom, and she asked me weeks earlier. I shoulda known then. Yea we did end up getting married and spending 15 years together, but the kind of person who would do that to someone is not the kind of person anyone should want to be with.

i went with my mate, who had a bf, and i had a gf

neither of our partners were at our school, so they couldnt go.

It's been sorted now I think, I just felt really bad interferring with their relationship :/

she must've felt pretty stung - they're going together now though which is good.


Proms cause all sorts of problems eh?

Totally- which is wht I'm going with my friend Lucy :) Simple.

My prom is tonight :D:D

[QUOTE=Herbert_da_fish]Totally- which is wht I'm going with my friend Lucy :) Simple.

My prom is tonight :D:D[/QUOTE]


Yay! Have fun! I never had one of my own, so my ex wife's was all I had.

Truth be told, I had a lot of fun that night. A LOT!

I was prom king :cool: