Sputnik Music Forums

Sputnik Music Forums (http://www.sputnikmusic.com/forums/index.php)
-   Archives (http://www.sputnikmusic.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=80)
-   -   Love and Relationships Thread, no spam allowed (http://www.sputnikmusic.com/forums/showthread.php?t=442593)

Chaindrive 06-23-2006 11:40 PM

Can't kill em, either. Which is unfortunate in the extreme.

It'll get better, though. :)

AmericanWeiner 06-23-2006 11:42 PM

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Can't kill em, either. Which is unfortunate in the extreme.

It'll get better, though. :)[/QUOTE]

Yeah. I've heard terribly worse cases than anyone on this forum could offer when it comes to bad relationships. :X


[SIZE="1"]One of my friends and her child were abducted by her ex who held them for a week in his house until they finally got away. He was arrested for murdering his father and stuffing his parts in the mailbox a couple weeks later.[/SIZE]

Lionheart1827 06-23-2006 11:45 PM

[QUOTE=AmericanWeiner]Yeah, I feel a little better now.

I mean, I'm sure you (if not most people in here) know exactly how I feel. I feel like I lost such a huge part of my life.

eh first loves can't live with them can't live without them[/QUOTE]

You'll get over it man. It may seem like there is nothing really important anymore in your life but its not true.:thumb:

Now you just have to get back up again and look forward to things. You'll find somebody else I promise.:thumb:

AmericanWeiner 06-23-2006 11:51 PM

[QUOTE=Lionheart1827]You'll get over it man. It may seem like there is nothing really important anymore in your life but its not true.:thumb:

Now you just have to get back up again and look forward to things. You'll find somebody else I promise.:thumb:[/QUOTE]

I'm cool, man.

I already asked god to kill me in my sleep and it hasn't happened yet so I'm holding on to the idea that I still have life kicking in me. I figure that even if I'm walking in this long desert of life where nothing leads to anything else right now it's still worth the spiritual trip that I'm on.

Or something like that.

Chaindrive 06-23-2006 11:51 PM

[QUOTE=AmericanWeiner]Yeah. I've heard terribly worse cases than anyone on this forum could offer when it comes to bad relationships. :X


[SIZE="1"]One of my friends and her child were abducted by her ex who held them for a week in his house until they finally got away. He was arrested for murdering his father and stuffing his parts in the mailbox a couple weeks later.[/SIZE][/QUOTE]

Yeah, stuff like that. Kinda makes you do a reality check.

Towlie 06-24-2006 12:45 AM

What I don't really get is how a girl wants to go out with you, yet she is afraid to speak to you so she gets her friend to do the talking. This happened to me once, but the thing that suprised me is the fact that shes so voistrous(is that a word?) and out going yet she was afraid of me, and I'm not a scary guy at all, but I am kinda quiet so I guess that scares chicks off.

I just don't see why someone would want to go out with a person that they don't even get along with.

Chaindrive 06-24-2006 12:57 AM

*Boisterous

I'd tell the friend that unless the girl talked to me directly I'm done with this.

Towlie 06-24-2006 01:11 AM

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]*Boisterous

I'd tell the friend that unless the girl talked to me directly I'm done with this.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I didn't really take any initiative to start anything. She was physically attractive but she's obnoxious as hell, we just didn't connect mentally. But I'm still young so I'll probably find a chick I can get along with someday.

TojesDolan 06-24-2006 01:24 AM

[B]Luster:[/B] You know, we guys are not clairvoyants. The worst thing ever is that a girl is somewhat upset with us (guys) and they are reluctant to talk about what bothers them, so we can fix it/change it.

I'd suggest you talk to him about it, because if she sees no rejection from you side then that leaves a gigantic "?" in his head for your attitude. Clear talk, Better world. :)

[B]AmericanWeiner:[/B] Find activities that help you forget somehow, you know? It always helps to clear your mind after something bad happens.

[B]Towlie:[/B] Well, that's just the way of the ladies. If she's not talking to you, I think you better make a move. If she does not correspond, at least you won't be left with the huge question in your head, and if it works, good for you. If it doesn't, at elast you tried.

LasagneFtw! 06-24-2006 01:47 AM

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]I don't blame you one bit. She needs to go away.

And, so he's not friends with any of the people there...he can't make new friends with them?

People compromise. [B]He should be going just because you want to[/B]. Does he hate all the people that would be there?[/QUOTE]

i agree with you completely, miss Chaindrive.

[QUOTE=TojesDoLan][B]Luster:[/B] You know, we guys are not clairvoyants. [B]The worst thing ever is that a girl is somewhat upset with us (guys) and they are reluctant to talk about what bothers them, so we can fix it/change it.[/B]

I'd suggest you talk to him about it, because if she sees no rejection from you side then that leaves a gigantic "?" in his head for your attitude. [B]Clear talk, Better world.[/B] :[/QUOTE]

+874298482349823
i could go on for days about that.

Angelo Della Morte 06-24-2006 08:18 AM

Okay, I have a question.

Do your guy's girlfriend's care if you get jealous of her being around other guys? (or if you're a girl, what would you think if you're boyfriend told you he was jealous of you being around other guys) I mean, are they going to think it's sweet, or think that you're overreacting.. With my girlfriend, I always play it off like it doesn't bother me at all when she talks to or hangs out with other guys, even though I do get quite jealous...

I'm just curious to see if there is a general attitude towards this...

FVG27 06-24-2006 08:20 AM

Just don't be overprotective... you NEED trust. It broke up my sister and her boyfriend- she was totally devastated.

Just look at it this way. She is with you because she doesn't want anyone else. And if she cheats on you, you deserve better than her anyway.

loathed 06-24-2006 08:26 AM

[quote=Angelo Della Morte]Okay, I have a question.

Do your guy's girlfriend's care if you get jealous of her being around other guys? (or if you're a girl, what would you think if you're boyfriend told you he was jealous of you being around other guys) I mean, are they going to think it's sweet, or think that you're overreacting.. With my girlfriend, I always play it off like it doesn't bother me at all when she talks to or hangs out with other guys, even though I do get quite jealous...

I'm just curious to see if there is a general attitude towards this...[/quote]

If its love, theres trust, so jealousy wouldnt be there alot...

Angelo Della Morte 06-24-2006 08:34 AM

I know, I trust her completly, and I wouldn't ask her to stop hanging out with her friends or anything... I know thery are just friends, but I still get jealous when she hangs out with them.. I mean, and I don't get so jealous that it upsets me that they hang out...

And the main reason I get jealous is I know that her one friend really likes her, even though she considers them to be just friends (which is all that matters to me) But he is always trying to get with her, and it annoys the crap out of me...

I'm not really having any problems, I was just kinda curious...

FVG27 06-24-2006 08:40 AM

It's natural to be jealous.

Noyana 06-24-2006 09:51 AM

[QUOTE=Angelo Della Morte]I know, I trust her completly, and I wouldn't ask her to stop hanging out with her friends or anything... I know thery are just friends, but I still get jealous when she hangs out with them[/QUOTE]

:wave: exactly.

i mean the key is trust, but it's hard to know when to draw the line.
i think i'm going to mention the whole same deal to my boyfriend.

i honestly had a dream last night where i called his cellphone, she answered, and was like "oh we're going to a concert in new haven, want to come?" and i was upset that she was over his house, going to a concert, and i knew nothing of it. apparently my subconcious is also slightly upset. :rolleyes:

Jom 06-24-2006 10:12 AM

[QUOTE=TojesDoLan][B]Luster:[/B] You know, we guys are not clairvoyants. The worst thing ever is that a girl is somewhat upset with us (guys) and they are reluctant to talk about what bothers them, so we can fix it/change it.[/QUOTE]

Um, hell yes/exactly/damn straight?

That's pretty much a response from me without getting into storytime.

FVG27 06-24-2006 12:04 PM

[QUOTE=Luster]:wave: exactly.

i mean the key is trust, but it's hard to know when to draw the line.
i think i'm going to mention the whole same deal to my boyfriend.

i honestly had a dream last night where i called his cellphone, she answered, and was like "oh we're going to a concert in new haven, want to come?" and i was upset that she was over his house, going to a concert, and i knew nothing of it. apparently my subconcious is also slightly upset. :rolleyes:[/QUOTE]
Heh that happens to me in dreams ALL the time.

rip-metal_rules 06-24-2006 04:41 PM

Ok, here's my current situation...just wanted to let you guys know what's up...sorry for the incredibly long post…

Alright, here’s something you need to know: I live in Alaska, so when I say long distance, I mean it.

Ok, this all goes back to 8th grade (I’m 17 now and a senior this next year), when this girl (She’s the same age as me) moves to my town from a town about 700 miles or so away. She goes to school for the last half of the school year. I start to really like her…and keep in mind, this is 8th grade, so I hadn’t really “come out of my shell yet” and I was too shy to tell her how I felt. She moved back to her hometown and I didn’t hear from her for four years…

December 2005- I decide to get in touch with this girl just from a random thought, so I get her email address from one of my friends who’s been keeping in touch with her…I email her to say hi and she replies, just telling me what’s been up lately and stuff…so now…we’re back in touch.

Late December- I’m on MSN, and she says hi. Now keep in mind, she starts the conversation…we talk for a while. This goes on for a couple months, we just talk on MSN. At this point, she’s not my No. 1 crush, but there’s a small hint of attraction there… And more than a few times, she starts the conversation, so I’m feeling somewhat of a vibe from her…

April 2006- I’m talking to her on MSN, and she mentions that she gets to come here for prom and to see old friends and stuff. Now it doesn’t occur to me until like a week later to ask her to prom, so I do, and she says yeah.

May 2006- She comes here for prom, we hang out, I’m still sort of shy…and after she leaves, she emails me her phone number. So for the next couple weeks we talk on the phone occasionally, and after a while, I find out from close friends that she likes me. So…around the end of May I’m talking to her and I tell her I really like her and she says she likes me too, so I ask her out and she says yeah. And I know it seems stupid because it seems like we’re never gonna see each other again, but we were gonna get to see each other in another town at a university in June, she was going to some school program and I was going to a basketball camp.

Ok, so yeah, we’re going out.

June- She seems really excited to see me when I go to the university, everything seems to be going fine, I think she really likes me. She says cute stuff, such as the day before I saw her we were talking on MSN and she’s like “I’ll make sure I look good tomorrow” and stuff like that.

I go to the basketball camp, and we hang out whenever we get free time, walking around campus, etc. For the first couple days that I’m there I really want to kiss her, but I never really get a chance to make a move. Finally, on the fourth night that I’m there, we’re walking and we’re in sort of a secluded spot behind some trees, and I’m walking beside her and I stop and say her name, and I go in. now possibly, this is one of the weirdest moments ever, and as soon as this happened, I knew something was wrong. I go in for the kiss, and I don’t know what happened, but it was one of those weird kiss/hug things. She either thought I was trying to hug her, or she knew that I was going in for a kiss and she was denying me. Anyways, I sort of recover, and we kiss. We keep walking, and I ask her when she started liking me and she said that she started liking me when she when to my hometown(Galena). I tell her that I’ve liked her every time she came to Galena, like back in 8th grade and when she came up for prom. We walk for a while, and meet up with some of our friends.

At the end of the night when she had to go back to her dorm, she gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and says “What we are, as I see it, is just friends, and I think I’d like to stay that way,” and I’m like, “Alright,” and she goes back to her dorm.

Later that night I talk to her on MSN, and I asked her about it, and she said that she likes being friends with me more than being with me, and that she only liked me a little when I asked her out, and she said yes because she didn’t want me not to talk to her anymore if she said no. So yeah, I’m heartbroken, but she says that she still wants to be friends with me. For the next couple days, we talk a little, but not as much as before, and finally, the basketball camp is over and I have to leave.

Now, she says that there’s about a 50/50 chance that she might come to school here next year for the first semester. I think she decided this before she came up here for prom.

Hey…I gotta give this girl props, she’s one of the hardest girls to read that I’ve ever met. I had no idea that she liked me, and I had no idea that something was wrong later.

Here’s the truth: I still really like her, but I know that it will do me no good to keep liking her, so I might as well try to stop liking her. I mean, I’ll be fine…right now, there’s like 3 other girls that I’m thinking about, so I know how to move on, but it kinda bugs me when I put months of work into something just to see it all crumble in thirty seconds with the phrase “just friends.”

But anyways, yeah…that’s what’s new with me…so, anybody got some insights, advice, interpretations, etc.? I would really appreciate it.

Chaindrive 06-24-2006 04:47 PM

I think your interpretation is spot on. Something may happen later between you two, but right now, no.

And I know what you mean about putting months of work into something just to see it crumble; I've put over a year into something that hasn't happened yet.

If you have other possibilities, by all means, go for them.

Hope this helps.

nobodyblossomsforever 06-24-2006 05:06 PM

[QUOTE=rip-metal_rules]Ok, here's my current situation...just wanted to let you guys know what's up...sorry for the incredibly long post…

Alright, here’s something you need to know: I live in Alaska, so when I say long distance, I mean it.

Ok, this all goes back to 8th grade (I’m 17 now and a senior this next year), when this girl (She’s the same age as me) moves to my town from a town about 700 miles or so away. She goes to school for the last half of the school year. I start to really like her…and keep in mind, this is 8th grade, so I hadn’t really “come out of my shell yet” and I was too shy to tell her how I felt. She moved back to her hometown and I didn’t hear from her for four years…

December 2005- I decide to get in touch with this girl just from a random thought, so I get her email address from one of my friends who’s been keeping in touch with her…I email her to say hi and she replies, just telling me what’s been up lately and stuff…so now…we’re back in touch.

Late December- I’m on MSN, and she says hi. Now keep in mind, she starts the conversation…we talk for a while. This goes on for a couple months, we just talk on MSN. At this point, she’s not my No. 1 crush, but there’s a small hint of attraction there… And more than a few times, she starts the conversation, so I’m feeling somewhat of a vibe from her…

April 2006- I’m talking to her on MSN, and she mentions that she gets to come here for prom and to see old friends and stuff. Now it doesn’t occur to me until like a week later to ask her to prom, so I do, and she says yeah.

May 2006- She comes here for prom, we hang out, I’m still sort of shy…and after she leaves, she emails me her phone number. So for the next couple weeks we talk on the phone occasionally, and after a while, I find out from close friends that she likes me. So…around the end of May I’m talking to her and I tell her I really like her and she says she likes me too, so I ask her out and she says yeah. And I know it seems stupid because it seems like we’re never gonna see each other again, but we were gonna get to see each other in another town at a university in June, she was going to some school program and I was going to a basketball camp.

Ok, so yeah, we’re going out.

June- She seems really excited to see me when I go to the university, everything seems to be going fine, I think she really likes me. She says cute stuff, such as the day before I saw her we were talking on MSN and she’s like “I’ll make sure I look good tomorrow” and stuff like that.

I go to the basketball camp, and we hang out whenever we get free time, walking around campus, etc. For the first couple days that I’m there I really want to kiss her, but I never really get a chance to make a move. Finally, on the fourth night that I’m there, we’re walking and we’re in sort of a secluded spot behind some trees, and I’m walking beside her and I stop and say her name, and I go in. now possibly, this is one of the weirdest moments ever, and as soon as this happened, I knew something was wrong. I go in for the kiss, and I don’t know what happened, but it was one of those weird kiss/hug things. She either thought I was trying to hug her, or she knew that I was going in for a kiss and she was denying me. Anyways, I sort of recover, and we kiss. We keep walking, and I ask her when she started liking me and she said that she started liking me when she when to my hometown(Galena). I tell her that I’ve liked her every time she came to Galena, like back in 8th grade and when she came up for prom. We walk for a while, and meet up with some of our friends.

At the end of the night when she had to go back to her dorm, she gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and says “What we are, as I see it, is just friends, and I think I’d like to stay that way,” and I’m like, “Alright,” and she goes back to her dorm.

Later that night I talk to her on MSN, and I asked her about it, and she said that she likes being friends with me more than being with me, and that she only liked me a little when I asked her out, and she said yes because she didn’t want me not to talk to her anymore if she said no. So yeah, I’m heartbroken, but she says that she still wants to be friends with me. For the next couple days, we talk a little, but not as much as before, and finally, the basketball camp is over and I have to leave.

Now, she says that there’s about a 50/50 chance that she might come to school here next year for the first semester. I think she decided this before she came up here for prom.

Hey…I gotta give this girl props, she’s one of the hardest girls to read that I’ve ever met. I had no idea that she liked me, and I had no idea that something was wrong later.

Here’s the truth: I still really like her, but I know that it will do me no good to keep liking her, so I might as well try to stop liking her. I mean, I’ll be fine…right now, there’s like 3 other girls that I’m thinking about, so I know how to move on, but it kinda bugs me when I put months of work into something just to see it all crumble in thirty seconds with the phrase “just friends.”

But anyways, yeah…that’s what’s new with me…so, anybody got some insights, advice, interpretations, etc.? I would really appreciate it.[/QUOTE]

Wow man. :( That was sad to read. It's all for the better though. At least she isn't one of those girls that just tries to avoid you all the time. Like you said you were gonna do, just move on. It may seem odd, especially if you still have feelings for this other girl. Besides, you don't know what the future has in store for you. She may change her mind later on and realize she wants to be with you. Now, I'm not saying hold on to false hope, but keep that in your head as you do move on, and it'll make it easier on yourself. :)

rip-metal_rules 06-24-2006 05:50 PM

Yeah...that's exactly what I was thinking. If she comes around, she comes around. If she doesn't then it was never meant to be. I'm just gonna be myself, and if she doesn't like me for who I am, then forget about her. Although...there is one thing about me that she can't resist...the fact that I can play the guitar.

nobodyblossomsforever 06-24-2006 06:28 PM

Haha, well I hope everything works out in the longrun.

Now time to post my problem.

This is weird considering I was in love with Elyse, during that time, I started having fond feelings for one of my best friends, Sara. I've never asked her out or anything though because she has a boyfriend and they've been going out for two years. There's been times where they broke up and then go back together, and it's just really stupid. She's 15, and he is 20. Her mom won't let her talk to or see her boyfriend. Well I was talking to her on the phone a few minutes ago, and randomly she said "*sigh*....it doesn't feel like Mike and me are together." I asked her what she meant and she said "It feels like me and Mike are just friends, and nothing else...". She's been feeling like this a lot ever sense we really started talking. We used to just talk at school during break or what-not, then on Myspace. Now she wants me to call her every day or she calls every day. I'm trying to figure out, does she like me too or what?

How would you guys analyze this situation?

Chaindrive 06-24-2006 06:34 PM

He's 20. He's waaaaaayyyyyyy too old for her.

If they've been "going out" (wtf?) for 2 years that means she was 13 when that started. Again, wtf?

She probably feels closer to you because there's not the age gap happening with Mike.

Let her call you every day (don't call her every day) and see what happens.

nobodyblossomsforever 06-24-2006 06:49 PM

Will do, even though sometimes she asks me to call her.

Chaindrive 06-24-2006 06:52 PM

Don't call her. Don't call her until the 20 year old is history.

nobodyblossomsforever 06-24-2006 07:47 PM

Why?

I'm not trying to question your advice or anything, but why would calling her be a bad idea?

Chaindrive 06-24-2006 09:21 PM

This girl was dating an 18 year old when she was 13, am I right? Or is this just online?

Jom 06-24-2006 09:36 PM

Sorry, but it's kind of funny when a college freshman is dating an eighth grader.

Chaindrive 06-24-2006 09:42 PM

[QUOTE=Jom]Sorry, but it's kind of scary when a college freshman is dating an eighth grader.[/QUOTE]

Fix'd.


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:56 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2026, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.