been u fpr almost 48 hours dont feel tired

[QUOTE=Deth;18509105]yeah, I liked that paper a lot.

only criticisms would be the first paragraph which comes off as overly wordy in comparison to the rest of the paper and the shift into more first person stuff (I've showed you, and so forth) near the end which I think is more a personal thing, but I always find papers more evocative when they don't remind me of the author.

otherwise good stuff[/QUOTE]

thanks for reading

normally my essays have really long paragraphs, and i recently was picked up on it on a shorter essay, so i tried to really break it down into smaller units for this one. however my intros are notoriously long, and this one is actually relatively short, coz i tried to keep it as brief as possible.

ill still be proofreading it until it's due (tuesday) so ill try and make the whole personal voice stuff more consistent. i normally keep it pretty casual when i write essays, but still in a formal sense. just depends on being consistent i guess, but if you picked up on it becoming more personal as you go to the end, ill have to fix that up

I think it's something I pick up on more than others because when I write papers (or when I did anyway lolengineering) I'd go out of my way to make it as impersonal to me as possible. It definitely did come up noticeably at the end though.

It read well though, if you consciously broke it up into smaller paragraphs it worked well.

you shouldnt use 'alarmingly' the way you did. after that sentence you can also throw in a paragraph break without any rewriting

thats as far as i read, im sure the papers pretty good but thats all i can offer for now

[QUOTE=Jackie Gleason;18509106]been u fpr almost 48 hours dont feel tired[/QUOTE]

insomiacc bicchhhh

went to a party with probably 200 rednecks blasting country from their trucks around a giant fire

my friend got called a long hair hippie faggot more than once

it was awful

i am now home.

breath easy baby boy ur safe now

put ur head on mamas lap

[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6o0yxpe6Fhg[/url]

'sup?

Just got back from Edinburgh. Pretty tired right now, after a busy week, but it was cool in England and Scotland.

heh didn't know you were over here

I was in London from 6 to 9 May, then in Glasgow till 11 May and then we went to Edinburgh.

Fell in love with Guinness. Shit's way too expensive in the Netherlands, and only a few pubs serve it. St. Andrews Ale is also pretty good stuff.

[QUOTE=Jackie Gleason;18509106]been u fpr almost 48 hours dont feel tired[/QUOTE]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThIBvsml_us

guinness is overrated piss

alcohol*

[QUOTE=xMalcolmXx;18509159]went to a party with probably 200 rednecks blasting country from their trucks around a giant fire

my friend got called a long hair hippie faggot more than once

it was awful

i am now home.[/QUOTE]

my friends and i normally just troll and pick fights at those. fun times are had by all

I don't see the appeal

you don't see the appeal of going to an unappealing party and being a real-life troll?

come on man

sounds risky with no payoff to compensate for this

the only self described IRL troll i've met is adb

I can't help but be pessimistic

he's too timid to troll irl he barely talks to anyone as it is

that feeling when your ears pop and you realise you've been hearing things at like 60% volume all day

is so good

sounds quite lovely honestly

whats a good word/phrase/term for a lone wanderer seeking other people

vagabond?

[QUOTE=Aakon_Keetreh;18509374]sounds quite lovely honestly[/QUOTE]

it really is!

[QUOTE=Haz;18509379]vagabond?
[/QUOTE]

close but not quite, connotations aren't right

yeah i was hesitant to mention it

"peopleseeker"

[QUOTE=bringonthebreakdown;18509333]my friends and i normally just troll and pick fights at those. fun times are had by all[/QUOTE]

there was probably almost a fight, but we were pretty outnumbered so we just laid low

plus they probably had more guns than we did

these days the best eye candy is a mediafire link....
fucking 14 downloads i've got going all of them mediafire fuch eyah

[QUOTE=Haz;18509366]the only self described IRL troll i've met is adb

I can't help but be pessimistic[/QUOTE]

hahaha