mindblowing

your brain is like splatty tat

i just did some vocals on a djent song

15/16 LoL!!!!

im just home after another night of being out all night and sleeing on a couch, with some random chick but glad she left before i was awake this morning

all the football on is leading me to drink more alcohol, just goes hand n hand

I had 6 beers the other night and then had an all day hangover. FU alchohol.


Did some bricklaying today.

lately i've been having a recurring dream in which i'm standing at a urinal in like a cinema or fancy pub or something

this guy walks up to the urinal on my right and tells this really unfunny, larry david style anecdote about his lack of success with women over the course of the night; he takes about 5 minutes or so to tell me this and then says his goodbyes and ****s off

after another couple of minutes this other guy turns up at the same urinal and we just do the sort of shrugging looking at the ceiling urinal dance to let each other know we're comfortable with silence; this goes on for while after which i start chuckling to myself at how long the piss has been going on for

the guy on my right looks a bit weirded out so i iron out the creases and put on a look of concentration, ineffectually trying to hasten the process

after another five minutes or so, we're still standing there and i'm thinking '**** this is never gonna end', while the guy on my right is just starting to see the funny side: we start chuckling and letting off large sighs of expunged laughter intermittently. We're laughing together but it's still pretty awkward, and every now and then when he rustles a bit i look over to see if he's finished and accidentally catch his eye before staring abruptly at my shoes with an enormous ineffable grin.

we're simmering away like this for a minute or two and this old bloke who looks exactly like ian mckellen in a flat cap and purple waistcoat walks in and stands at the urinal to my left. we've been pissing and laughing long enough now to not really give a ****, and the old guy thinks we're laughing at him. I'm worried he'll be insulted, but he apparently is a bit of a clown, and starts pulling faces and saying 'ooh err' and ****, at which point i erupt into hysterics

this just ups the ante for the old guy, and he starts shuffling around a bit and intermittently pulling the 'no hands' pose and pointedly looking down at his knob before shuffling backwards and raising his trajectory, to the point at which he's perching on the lip of the sink. he holds this pose for about 20 seconds, during which time i and the guy and the right can barely breathe, and then returns to the normal position beaming like mad

he continues to clown around: he does a little bit of the 'thriller' dance, removes his dentures, juggles them along with his keys and lighter, does that trick where you pretend you've pulled your thumb off, and asks me to pull his finger.

at this point i'm spraying all over the ****ing place and having the best time of my life.

the old guy finishes up, shakes, neglects to wash his hands and bows out of the toilet door backwards holding his cap above his head and with a fag in his mouth, saying 'cheers fellas' in a cockney accent

i am losing control of myself and clinging to the pipe above the urinal just to keep myself pointing in its general direction. morrissey's 'last famous international playboy' is playing on the radio, and as far as i'm aware has been the entire time.

at this point i wake up laughing hysterically and rush to the toilet to take a piss. i've woken my girlfriend up four times doing this just before sunrise.

it might not be at all humorous to anyone else but me, but it never fails to get me out of bed at the crack of dawn. no idea why this has started happening.

drugs?

nein drugs for al ...actually there was, just some wacky tobaccy

football is leading to a lot of beers though


going to see slash tomorrow, prob wet the wistle again there

[QUOTE=AG;18052734]drugs?[/QUOTE]

if this is to me, no, not been taking anything recently.

dreams do not mean anything

[QUOTE=fingers mccoy;18052722]lately i've been having a recurring dream in which i'm standing at a urinal in like a cinema or fancy pub or something

this guy walks up to the urinal on my right and tells this really unfunny, larry david style anecdote about his lack of success with women over the course of the night; he takes about 5 minutes or so to tell me this and then says his goodbyes and ****s off

after another couple of minutes this other guy turns up at the same urinal and we just do the sort of shrugging looking at the ceiling urinal dance to let each other know we're comfortable with silence; this goes on for while after which i start chuckling to myself at how long the piss has been going on for

the guy on my right looks a bit weirded out so i iron out the creases and put on a look of concentration, ineffectually trying to hasten the process

after another five minutes or so, we're still standing there and i'm thinking '**** this is never gonna end', while the guy on my right is just starting to see the funny side: we start chuckling and letting off large sighs of expunged laughter intermittently. We're laughing together but it's still pretty awkward, and every now and then when he rustles a bit i look over to see if he's finished and accidentally catch his eye before staring abruptly at my shoes with an enormous ineffable grin.

we're simmering away like this for a minute or two and this old bloke who looks exactly like ian mckellen in a flat cap and purple waistcoat walks in and stands at the urinal to my left. we've been pissing and laughing long enough now to not really give a ****, and the old guy thinks we're laughing at him. I'm worried he'll be insulted, but he apparently is a bit of a clown, and starts pulling faces and saying 'ooh err' and ****, at which point i erupt into hysterics

this just ups the ante for the old guy, and he starts shuffling around a bit and intermittently pulling the 'no hands' pose and pointedly looking down at his knob before shuffling backwards and raising his trajectory, to the point at which he's perching on the lip of the sink. he holds this pose for about 20 seconds, during which time i and the guy and the right can barely breathe, and then returns to the normal position beaming like mad

he continues to clown around: he does a little bit of the 'thriller' dance, removes his dentures, juggles them along with his keys and lighter, does that trick where you pretend you've pulled your thumb off, and asks me to pull his finger.

at this point i'm spraying all over the ****ing place and having the best time of my life.

the old guy finishes up, shakes, neglects to wash his hands and bows out of the toilet door backwards holding his cap above his head and with a fag in his mouth, saying 'cheers fellas' in a cockney accent

i am losing control of myself and clinging to the pipe above the urinal just to keep myself pointing in its general direction. morrissey's 'last famous international playboy' is playing on the radio, and as far as i'm aware has been the entire time.

at this point i wake up laughing hysterically and rush to the toilet to take a piss. i've woken my girlfriend up four times doing this just before sunrise.

it might not be at all humorous to anyone else but me, but it never fails to get me out of bed at the crack of dawn. no idea why this has started happening.[/QUOTE]

nice style of writing, this is the longest post I've ever read on this forum. :chug:

[QUOTE=fingers mccoy;18052722]Pissing story.[/QUOTE]

Epic. Story is full of win.

Time for a rant methinks. Getting sick of signing up for things.

[B]Prologue[/B]: I bought GTA4 in the steam sales a while ago because it was going for something like 3 quid. Couldn't play it straight away because my laptop couldn't handle it, and my desktop wasn't available for a while so I've waited until now to play it. Not that I've been desperate to play it, mainly because EVERY GTA3 port on the PC was average at best, atrocious at worst. Thought maybe with the engine changes and huge budget for GTA4 would mean it would finally be the awesome game that it had the potential to be.

Here's where stuff gets stupid.

[B]Chapter 1 - A Worrying Start[/B]:

I start the game after hours of downloading off Steam. Error - 'Download SP3!' Recently reformatted the machine so it needed updating. Fair point.

For some reason, SP3 wouldn't show on the list of auto updates so had to manually download it, trawling through some particularly useless microsoft pages to finally find a simple installer to download. Ignoring the advice of the site which, for this specific version of SP3 is 'FOR IT PROFESSIONALS ONLY!' for, as I can see, absolutely no reason. Twinned with the sound advice 'It's better to get the version that comes through automatic updates' - well yeah, would have been more convenient if it had shown, I'll agree to that...

Download SP3. All updated, ready to go.

[B]Chapter 2 - Hope?[/B]:

Sign into Steam. Done. Start GTA4. In progress...... Stopped by a pop up - 'Join up for the Social Club to access multiplayer and video uploading features!'. No. I'm here for the single player, don't give a crap about uploading videos either.

Mouse moves over to the paradoxically named 'Play (OFFLINE)' button. Paradoxically named, as I encountered next, I would neither be offline or playing for quite some time....

[B]Chapter 3 - The Obstruction[/B]

So our great journey brings us to the opening credits of GTA4 - the various rockstar logos proudly presenting their latest of the GTA series to the tune of some hip-hop... and a great big play button is laid before me. Press it? Your damn right! What else am I here for? Let's go! *click*

Screen goes dark. What is the manner of this interruption? This doesn't seem like the usual cartoon-laden GTA loading screens of old...

'Sign up now for Games For Windows Live! Or you won't be able to record those lovely e-peen extending achievements that you don't really care about! [SIZE="1"]oh and you won't be able to save your game, making it almost impossible to play. Just thought you oughtta know, cuz we're buddies, right? Right?[/SIZE]'

[B]Chapter 4 - The Great eMail Quandary [/B]:

So yeah. Games for Windows, or as I found by all the cool kids saying, G4W. Stopping me playing a game I played 3 quid for.

Enter my hotmail address into the signup box, sign in, job's going o.k. 'Enter Details!' Also o.k, but for some reason this account thinks I was born in 1997, and I can't change the date. Fair enough, mabye the data on my hotmail was wrong. No problem.

Wrong. Big problem. Won't let me continue signing up without having to 'Provide a parent's email address for confirmation!'. O.k, not a big problem, just give my yahoo account details and all will be well...

..again, wrong. For some reason, it thinks that I'm already signed up with this address. Funny, as I've never come across G4W, nevermind trying to sign up for it...

Make new email account with silly name. Sign up for G4W. Make silly Gamer tag. Continue. Open GTA4. Enter silly details. Continue. All good?

[B]Chapter 5 - Square One/ The Final Battle[/B]:

Yet again, wrong. G4W then ponders to itself, weighing up various tactics to find which would be best to annoy me. After much delay... 'Restart your machine!', almost with a smarmy grin on it's error message. Bastard.

Restart. Open Steam. Open GTA4. Press play button. Sign in. More G4W pondering......

...'Enter CD Key!'. Prick.

Open steam widget/dashboard/whatever, get CD key. Won't copy and paste. Wanker. Copy manually.This must be it. No more. No more forms. No more signing up. No more updates. No more restarting... please?

[B]Chapter 6 - Success! Followed by Complete and Utter Failure[/B]:

The game starts! An intro sequence rolls by, introducing our protagonist, Niko. Anticipation over the plotline unfolding! Excitement for the gameplay ahead! Relief that my ordeal may finally be over! Joy that I have the freedom to save my games once again!

No. Wait. 20 minutes in:

I've done a few missions now, with Niko - the man who walks at an excruciating snails pace, and runs uncontrollably in what appears to be an attempt to try and run in as many directions as possible at the same time.

I've driven a few cars that appear to have a turning circle similar to that of the circumference of a small moon and decelerate in a manner similar to that of a freight train.

I've shaken my head at the graphics, that perform so badly on my can-run-crysis-on-max machine that I have to reduce the draw distance to a point where I can drive into nothingness that hasn't been drawn yet.

I've been in fistfights that feel like I'm trying fight through a huge wall of particularly viscous jelly.

I've frowned at the particularly badly mapped controls, evidence of a particularly terrible port from a console, that even a company with years of development and a 100 million dollar budget still managed to fu[SIZE=2]ck[/SIZE] up.

Screw this.

*switch off*

I just don't ever bother with PC games :)

None of the GTA3 games were any good on PC either. Some of them I still pretty much consider to this day to be incomplete-able due to bugs making some missions impossible, the ports were that bad.

I'm getting the impression GTA4 might go on the list of 'games I've been too bored to complete'

lol

So who's here I know?

I see some of you.

damn nick pops up out of no where and wtf me!?

I've got the DVD versions of a couple of the GTA games. Vice City and San Andreas.
Never had any problems.
Never found any of the missions impossible due to bugs.
Neither of those are Games for Windows versions tho.

any of you douche bags into graphic design and art stuff? (photoshop blahblahblah)

i need art for various bands and projects and whatnot including my math metal band's summer EP and my main project starsmog

[I]lets do this son[/I]

[QUOTE=The_Mop;18053727]None of the GTA3 games were any good on PC either. Some of them I still pretty much consider to this day to be incomplete-able due to bugs making some missions impossible, the ports were that bad.

I'm getting the impression GTA4 might go on the list of 'games I've been too bored to complete'[/QUOTE]

shudda got an xbox

[QUOTE=The_Mop;18053727]None of the GTA3 games were any good on PC either. Some of them I still pretty much consider to this day to be incomplete-able due to bugs making some missions impossible, the ports were that bad.

I'm getting the impression GTA4 might go on the list of 'games I've been too bored to complete'[/QUOTE]

Dude.

GTA Vice City was an awful port, with terrible controls.

GTA San Andreas was an excellent port, and I found it more intuitive than on any of the consoles.

GTA4 was a cool game, but I had hardware issues (FU ATI, never buying another ATI graphics card again) that made me leave it after the first bridge.

Yeah, I do graphic art for websites. And some printed material.

Nothing usually of any great creative flair tho. I'm often restricted by tight corporate branding guidelines.
But that's a good excuse for the fact that I'm not hugely creative.

GTA4 was widely slammed as a godawful port, you have my sympathy mate.

Doesn't mean PC gaming is worthless by any means though- just look at the quality of stuff you can get on steam for a few quid.

Hey, don't worry about me and PC gaming, I'm most definitely a PC gamer, have been for a long time. I know it's far from worthless. It just pisses me off that a company with a ridiculous budget and huge amounts of time couldn't even scrub a decent port together.

I managed to get Mass Effect for 3 quid in the steam christmas sales. Best 3 quid I've ever spent. Played that back to back with Mass Effect 2, possibly the most amazing writing effort I've ever seen in a game.

Thinking of rockstar, Max Payne 2's script was apparently twice the length of a full length film script. How much work must have gone into ME? Must be ridiculous...

Max Payne 2 is seriously fantastic, as is ME. Two of my favourite games ever.

the day you can play a decent mmo on a console = lol

the day you can play a decent rts on a console = lol

gta has always sucked...the same thing over and over. beat a hooker steal a car. it's actually really lame. halo is a pretty cool mmo

sup lod

who here likes mumford and sons?

i'm so ****ing hooked on this band

I love them in fact ! Will be driving to kent to see them on thursday