[QUOTE=pixiesfanyo;17216117]why would you be happy if no one has any idea about what you are alluding to and the poem sounds more like an essay with how much you are describing static events?[/QUOTE]

you don't know what you're talking about

[QUOTE=rasputin;17217116]my parents got pretty much all of the imagery so maybe check to see if you know what the **** you're talking about before making a dumbarse comment. just don't post in this thread anymore, it's obvious you didn't like the poem so why do you keep coming back.


also is the french line wrong? can someone correct it if it is. i met a french guy at work today but i forgot to ask him.[/QUOTE]

It's right.
I just checked Larousse, and s'embrasser is "To Kiss".

[QUOTE=rasputin;17217116]
also is the french line wrong? can someone correct it if it is. i met a french guy at work today but i forgot to ask him.[/QUOTE]

i don't see how you can defend this when you have to ask someone to put a french line in your piece.

why do you put french in a piece if you don't know french?

i don't really think i'm being an asshole. i said lol because it sounds like something a stoned 13 year old would conjure up, but the only reason i've really said anything is because you called me a smug prick and kind of alluded to me having no idea about anything and that is why i don't like this.

that isn't it at all. i've been posting in this s&l forum for probably twice as much as you and i see pieces like this all the time. they are trite. they are pointless and when i feel like commenting on them i do. i remember when i used to write like this so i'm speaking from experience that if you are wasting a line with bullshit foreign languages you have no clue about than chances are the piece is horse ****.

I have more posts, ergo I win.

[QUOTE=pixiesfanyo;17217905]i don't see how you can defend this when you have to ask someone to put a french line in your piece.

why do you put french in a piece if you don't know french?

i don't really think i'm being an spatula. i said lol because it sounds like something a stoned 13 year old would conjure up, but the only reason i've really said anything is because you called me a smug prick and kind of alluded to me having no idea about anything and that is why i don't like this.

that isn't it at all. i've been posting in this s&l forum for probably twice as much as you and i see pieces like this all the time. they are trite. they are pointless and when i feel like commenting on them i do. i remember when i used to write like this so i'm speaking from experience that if you are wasting a line with bullpoop foreign languages you have no clue about than chances are the piece is horse ****.[/QUOTE]

wasting a line with bullshit foreign languages?

it's just in a different language you have no idea of the intention behind it so stop trying to use that to inform your judgement

and never read ezra pound

[quote]i don't see how you can defend this when you have to ask someone to put a french line in your piece[/quote]
i have to ask someone because i don't speak french, obviously
[quote]why do you put french in a piece if you don't know french?[/quote]
because the line being in french obviously relates to something, dolt
[quote]i don't really think i'm being an spatula. i said lol because it sounds like something a stoned 13 year old would conjure up, but the only reason i've really said anything is because you called me a smug prick and kind of alluded to me having no idea about anything and that is why i don't like this.[/quote]
yeah you are being spatula. instead of saying 'i didn't like this poem because such and such' you ridiculed me, both here and in the review site thread. that's pretty much the definition of arsehole, smug prick, or whatever have you
[quote]that isn't it at all. i've been posting in this s&l forum for probably twice as much as you and i see pieces like this all the time[/quote]
oh okay i didn't know sputnik music was the authority on poetry
[quote]they are trite. they are pointless and when i feel like commenting on them i do. i remember when i used to write like this so i'm speaking from experience that if you are wasting a line with bullpoop foreign languages you have no clue about than chances are the piece is horse ****.[/quote]
if you used to write like this then it makes you look like an idiot to criticise me so harshly. and as i mentioned before, there is a significance to why i used a foreign language, and me not knowing how to speak that particular language has nothing to do with it. stop trying to bullshit your way through a criticism.

anyway, i'm completely fine with you not liking this. parts of it i don't like all that much myself, and i have already accepted that certain lines are overly melodramatic and possibly far over the border of lame. i think the deeper meaning behind it is needed to actually appreciate what the poem is saying, but i'm sure that won't interest you.

it's not the best thing i've written, and i can assure you that not all my poetry is like this. maybe next time try to be a little nice before you go plunging into something with some preconceived notions of superiority.

[QUOTE=pixiesfanyo;17217905]i don't see how you can defend this when you have to ask someone to put a french line in your piece.

why do you put french in a piece if you don't know french?[/quote]
awesome criticism dude

[quote]i don't really think i'm being an spatula.[/quote]
thats because your opinion has always been one of the furthest things from existence ever

[quote] i said lol because it sounds like something a stoned 13 year old would conjure up,[/quote]
again, no, you exaggerate everything to sound cool because you're a pompous ***

[quote]but the only reason i've really said anything is because you called me a smug prick[/quote]
you arent a smug prick?

[quote] and kind of alluded to me having no idea about anything and that is why i don't like this.[/quote]
you dont like a poem for personal reasons? cry moar fag

[quote]that isn't it at all. i've been posting in this s&l forum for probably twice as much as you[/quote]
[size=7]OH EM GEE[/size]

[quote]and i see pieces like this all the time.[/quote]
been here for a while too, no you dont, shut up, go make out with burt you queer

[quote]they are trite. they are pointless[/quote]
no, you just dont like the kid, its really obvious

[quote]and when i feel like commenting on them i do.[/quote]
and you say a bunch of petty **** that doesn't make sense in an attempt to seem better than people

[quote]i remember when i used to write like this so i'm speaking from experience that if you are wasting a line with bullpoop foreign languages you have no clue about than chances are the piece is horse ****.[/QUOTE]
great reasoning there dude, it almost made sense

i think the part where you were like I DID IT BEFORE YOU AND I DONT LIKE THAT STUFF ANYMORE really gave your criticism validity

deathcore

[QUOTE=pixiesfanyo;17217905]
.i've been posting in this s&l forum for probably twice as much as you [/QUOTE]

Don't you mean "twice as [B]long[/B] as you"?
For someone who has such an opinion on literature, you don't speak well do you?

[size=7]ultra kill[/size]

[U][B][COLOR="Magenta"][I][size="7"]fu[font="verdana"]ck[/font] that nigga up[/size][/I][/COLOR][/B][/U]

how you doin' cam

good i had to edit that post like five times to get it all pink and whatnot and slays for days

it's pretty grim man

[QUOTE=pixiesfanyo;17226264]deathcore[/QUOTE]

great post joshmay

just reread this whole thread, so many lulz

rofl this is gold