/sarcasm

I'M A BUSY MAN I HAVE NO TI[b][/b]ME FOR YOUR SARCASM

wow, was taht sarcasm in return, or actual anger? im so confused....

I'd like a critique if you wouldn't mind, Tojes.

[QUOTE=silenceevolves]I'd like a critique if you wouldn't mind, Tojes.[/QUOTE]
Sure. I changed your grade.

After a more thorough review on your poem, I see that it flows pretty naturally. The action is very fluid as well, and the use of the word was... alright. I didn't rank higher because the other ones just really blew me away, but yours is fine. After a more thorough read. :)

Me to! Me to!

[QUOTE=ITRIEDVOODOOONCE]wow, was taht sarcasm in return, or actual anger? im so confused....[/QUOTE]

Notice how "girlfriend" was absent from his list of duties/activities......that means he aint gettin any. You'd be angry too!!!

[QUOTE=Bigbadbob]Notice how "girlfriend" was absent from his list of duties/activities......that means he aint gettin any. You'd be angry too!!![/QUOTE]
Hahaha, "getting any" was never part of my schedule and probably won't be any time soon.

You know you can put like a temporary mod.

You know, to, you know, take care of the forums, you know.

Cough cough.

Yeah that'd do as well.

Dfelon , come on vote. you know you want to.

RunAmok, I'll take a crit por favor.

i've been in vegas since New Years. all the people who requested crits.. i will get that done as soon as i can. i just got back and i'm getting situated.

[QUOTE=Disco Donkey]RunAmok, I'll take a crit por favor.[/QUOTE]

Done. Hope it makes sense. :thumb:

Thanks a bunch for the crit RAR, I was just wondering why you disliked it so much. I know that the 4th verse is probably everybody's least favorite part, but I felt like it tied the piece together nicely. You said that it seems childlike, which is exactly what I was hoping for. Because most times, the violence that we see is induced by our childish instincts. I know I should have tried to explain that idea more, but I didn't want to drag it out too much, because I've been trying to condense my writing. But thanks again for critting it.

Oh, and I think we should close the voting thread by tomorrow night at midnight. I know everyone's been busy with the holidays, but this should give everyone enough time to get their voting done (including myself.)

Give people time, You crazy disco animal.

Make it saturday or sunday.

I don't know, I think we need to get a fresh challenge in here, because this one is wearing itself short. Nobody's voting; nobody's commenting. I think we should just move on, and quickly...

I'm going to vote, don't worry.

And, can I have a critique from Tojes and a real critique from Pixes? I just want to know why I have such a range in placements. Thanks.

[QUOTE=WhatILivefoR]I'm going to vote, don't worry.

And, can I have a critique from Tojes and a real critique from Pixes? I just want to know why I have such a range in placements. Thanks.[/QUOTE]

There is nothing special about it. It's typical. It uses some typical metaphors (hell) some of the imagery really turned me off (pierced tounge). Nothing stood out, it just seems like an average song written by an average band.

[QUOTE=Disco Donkey]I don't know, I think we need to get a fresh challenge in here, because this one is wearing itself short. Nobody's voting; nobody's commenting. I think we should just move on, and quickly...[/QUOTE]
I remember the first LC that bumped to my sight... it was for imbue and it had like a ton of replies and everyone were laughing at some kid... great times.

But yes it's growing boring and there's no talking whatsoever. Not to mention the voting and the fact that Burt comes and goes and then comes and then goes and we are left in the shadows dying freezing et cetera, et cetera.

On a really serious note, I'll make the crits now... WhatIlivefoR and... silenceevolves, right?

It's good because I revise what I say and the reasons I put the scores. I'm still waiting for k.s.e., though, because I know my pieces aren't that amazing, but a reason for the low score would be FANTASTIC, MR. K.S.E.

mind doing me the same while your on pixie?

[QUOTE=ITRIEDVOODOOONCE]mind doing me the same while your on pixie?[/QUOTE]
I can do one.

Your attempt was funny and in some extent similar to the surrealism poetry I've read. So it scored high because I found partiuclar you chose the style and not so much the word to work on.

[B]What I live For[/B] It flows well but I don't know ,some parts have odd wordings (I’m feeling like I’m five years old again...) and it just doesn't really keep up to the rest.

[B]silenceevolves[/B] Interesting subject wait I made that already.

thank you tojes :thumb:

[QUOTE=pixiesfanyo]There is nothing special about it. It's typical. It uses some typical metaphors (hell) some of the imagery really turned me off (pierced tounge). Nothing stood out, it just seems like an average song written by an average band.[/QUOTE]

Thanks for the critique. And for the record, I was not the subject of this one. I do not have a pierced tongue and I never will. heh

Thanks to Tojes as well.

fara a fara a fara

Tojeswhatever:

Your piece.. it was more personal preference than anything else. I did not like the vocabulary at all.. i know it fits the style you were going for but it just wasn't my thing. It wasn't completely bad.. it was well written in a sense.

But the language, the words you used to define elements, that was practically drenched in it, was the spoiler. it's dark.. and too focused on that aspect making it rather plain, atleast to me that's how it seems. especially in the third stanza.

And apparently you changed your piece after the deadline and after i voted.. so i don't think this is exactly fair with the score.. which is your own fault. correct me if i'm wrong.

Well I changed a typo I made, but the real main changes were made before. Anyhow, I appreciate what you had to say to me. Leave it as Tojes that's how people know me around here. :)

On a related rant, all I have to say in my behalf is that I'm not exactly "sick" of the more personal writing, but usually it comes off way to mushy and boring, which after a while becomes depressing and I usually just walk away, so let's just say my piece was a little "refreshment" from a trend I had been pulling out lately.

Nonetheless, new ladies come and go out of my life so I might go mushy once again.

EDIT: Burt I think all of the LC'ers have to start a serious, open-minded discussion on the way votes are being made. Once someone responds I'll clarify my point of view and expand on the subject. Cheers.

i don't think the voting will ever change. everyone wants to write and looks at the voting as more of an obstacle.

No, but I mean making the voting secret, or somehow invisible to other users, because I've faced bias once or twice considering other's voting...


Everything is fine. But I hate the bias while voting. Especially if I rush to vote.

:-/

[QUOTE=ITRIEDVOODOOONCE]mind doing me the same while your on pixie?[/QUOTE]

yeah, i'll get around to it when i don't have to catch a bus in 20 minutes.