Just explain to her that it's not that you don't want a kid necessarily, but more that you just want to make sure the two of you are ready to be parents.

[QUOTE=Kurrpt]ultimately, i know i really control the situation, considering it takes "2 to tango". Theres the whole mixed feeling, cold feet, and the fact that you have NO idea how it can affect the relationship, for better or worse[/QUOTE]

not only the relationship, but your entire life. Are you willing to drop [B]everything[/B] you have rightnow and be focused on a baby?

very good points...

Hey nic, Ill write you when I get back from my financial meeting at college this afternoon.

Todays the day they tell me that I cant afford to go to school! :)

Here's some things to think about.

Having a child so quickly after marraige can have varied affects, but so can waiting. The longer you wait, the more selfish you become. Meaning, you get used to married life and the whole coming and going as you please. Once you get used to that, it becomes more difficult to have a child as you are a little more selfish than normal. Now, having one right away is generally bad too as you are not giving yourselves a chance to grow as a solid cohesive unit, which is the most important aspect of being in a successful marriage. It's a partnership. Don't let anyone fool you into it being "we're so in love".. because that's truly an illusion that only lasts so long.

All plans stop when you have children. All things change. Usually for the better, but sometimes not. She may resent, you may resent, and once that happens not only is the marraige doomed, but so is your child's future in it's family.

[QUOTE=Tiger]Hey nic, Ill write you when I get back from my financial meeting at college this afternoon.

Todays the day they tell me that I cant afford to go to school! :)[/QUOTE]

I hope thats not so darling :(

[QUOTE=DBoon's Ghost]Here's some things to think about.

Having a child so quickly after marraige can have varied affects, but so can waiting. The longer you wait, the more selfish you become. Meaning, you get used to married life and the whole coming and going as you please. Once you get used to that, it becomes more difficult to have a child as you are a little more selfish than normal. Now, having one right away is generally bad too as you are not giving yourselves a chance to grow as a solid cohesive unit, which is the most important aspect of being in a successful marriage. It's a partnership. Don't let anyone fool you into it being "we're so in love".. because that's truly an illusion that only lasts so long.

All plans stop when you have children. All things change. Usually for the better, but sometimes not. She may resent, you may resent, and once that happens not only is the marraige doomed, but so is your child's future in it's family.[/QUOTE]

Woah. That was wonderfully said.

yea, i really had no response to it

[QUOTE=Kurrpt]yea, i really had no response to it[/QUOTE]
Heh, 123.

I like having DBoon around- there's some stuff we just can't relate to.

Well thanks guys. I'm really only tryin to help. I want the best for everyone I guess. I'm a sap like that.

i try to be the same when i can. Some times exerperience and wisdom do come with age :naughty:

heart of gold

dick of steel

ghost of

dboon

[QUOTE=Kurrpt]it really seems like her sole purpose in life right now[/QUOTE]

Tell her straight up that you're not ready for a kid yet at this point in your life. I'm sure you already have told her, but make sure she gets it. If you're not ready, then don't let it happen. If she can't deal with that, well, then you'll have something else to bring to L&R in a week or so.

Hey just wonjerin. What's everyone's opinions on a senior being with a freshman, like if the girl is 15 and the guy is 17 or something?

[QUOTE=Strongbad]Hey just wonjerin. What's everyone's opinions on a senior being with a freshman, like if the girl is 15 and the guy is 17 or something?[/QUOTE]

I don't see a problem with it, but it's one of those relationships that has a slim to none chance of lasting more than a year at the most. Once a guy is out of high school he starts expecting more of a relationship out of his relationship. That's something that a girl still in high school can't offer because her priorities are set on her education rather than furthering her love life. This leads to a lot of fights, problems and eventually a break-up.

the age difference gets less and less significant as you get older. Sure theres a stigma that comes with dating a younger girl in high school, but i wouldnt pay any attension to that. You may find yourself mature to a level where you deem her "unnecessary", but until then, id give it a go

[QUOTE=Kurrpt]the age difference gets less and less significant as you get older. Sure theres a stigma that comes with dating a younger girl in high school, but i wouldnt pay any attension to that. You may find yourself mature to a level where you deem her "unnecessary", but until then, id give it a go[/QUOTE]

After high school, it's not really an age difference but more like an educational or societal difference.

Yeah I agree with that, especially since I'm gonna work real hard to find a young lady in her late 20s.

It's a lot easier when you're older.

I'm such a scoundrel.

[QUOTE=DBoon's Ghost]Yeah I agree with that, especially since I'm gonna work real hard to find a young lady in her late 20s.

It's a lot easier when you're older.

I'm such a scoundrel.[/QUOTE]

Cradle-robber.

*cough*

Here, have a mentos. Want pepsi with that?

Yes, please.

[QUOTE=Tillius]*cough*[/QUOTE]

Was that directed at me? Hmmmmm?

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Cradle-robber.[/QUOTE]


Well, I wouldn't go that far. Like 26 and up is fair game right? I'm somewhat immature with an absurd sense of humor, and my cynicism knows no bounds. You don't understand NYC. If a chick here is in her 30s and she's still single, she's either insane or she has incurable stankbox. Or she asks what I make before she asks me what I'm all about. That, and they all want to have sex first and get to know you later. What fun is that? I can't do that anymore. It's no fun trying to please some battle worn broad when I don't even know her.

Actually, I truly have no limits as to age. But I'm young at heart. I don't want some crazy old yoga instructor who likes horses and long walks on the beach.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Was that directed at me? Hmmmmm?[/QUOTE]
It was indeed.

I guess I can fill everyone in with what has happened in the past few days. I left everyone off with me telling my friend about the new girl I like and her telling me she was a big flirt and that I shouldn't be wasting my time with her. Well today I was at my friends house again with others, and I guess for the first time, I saw how big of a flirt she really is. She was flirting with the two other guys that were that. So I guess my friend was right and I have decided that maybe in my best interest, she isn't worth the time.

[QUOTE=Pazz]I guess I can fill everyone in with what has happened in the past few days. I left everyone off with me telling my friend about the new girl I like and her telling me she was a big flirt and that I shouldn't be wasting my time with her. Well today I was at my friends house again with others, and I guess for the first time, I saw how big of a flirt she really is. She was flirting with the two other guys that were that. So I guess my friend was right and I have decided that maybe in my best interest, she isn't worth the time.[/QUOTE]

Good decision.

*cough*[size=1]one night stand[/size]*cough*

EDIT: To Pazz

[QUOTE=DBoon's Ghost]Well, I wouldn't go that far. Like 26 and up is fair game right? I'm somewhat immature with an absurd sense of humor, and my cynicism knows no bounds. You don't understand NYC. If a chick here is in her 30s and she's still single, she's either insane or she has incurable stankbox. Or she asks what I make before she asks me what I'm all about. That, and they all want to have sex first and get to know you later. What fun is that? I can't do that anymore. It's no fun trying to please some battle worn broad when I don't even know her.

Actually, I truly have no limits as to age. But I'm young at heart. I don't want some crazy old yoga instructor who likes horses and long walks on the beach.[/QUOTE]

Unfortunately for me I have the mentality of a 17 year old. I like guys in their mid 30's/early 40's.