[QUOTE=Cipher Hour]****, I don't live anywhere near anybody cool on this forum. :upset:[/QUOTE]
I used to live near The Joz, I even went to the same concert as him(Metallica). But now I live in Mississippi, no one lives near here.

[QUOTE=Stagefrightken]You have shoes?[/QUOTE]
Well, I just got my first pair. Ma had a lot of extra corn this week so she made a lot o money. We rode into town yesterday, and I got me some shoes.

Ya know why its impossible to solve a murder in Wva?

There are no dental records and all the DNA is the same.


What does a divorce and a tornado have in common in WVa?

Someone is losing a trailer.

:lol:

[QUOTE=Stagefrightken]Ya know why its impossible to solve a murder in Wva?

There are no dental records and all the DNA is the same.


What does a divorce and a tornado have in common in WVa?

Someone is losing a trailer.[/QUOTE]
:lol:





:upset:

Ahem.

What about where I live?

The nearest MXer to me is the length of England away.

Well...uh...****, I guess I don't really have anything to say to make you feel better. At least you've got...well...no...dammit I'm not even going to try.

WVU lost :upset: 16-13 :upset:

It's not fair he had the ball in his hands.....it was there..... :upset:

Man today at work was sh[font=]i[/font]t.

Opening program paranoidrant.exe

Processing……. 100% complete.

Press enter to continue.



Okay, so I went to work today, on a high from being funny on the internet. I was hoping against hope that work would not piss me off to the point of ruining my day. Unfortunately I was sorely mistaken. The first bad omen was the pile of dog sh[font=]i[/font]t. I mean, who the hell lets their dog relieve itself in the middle of a car park, right where my driver’s side door opens. So of course my foot lands solely in the middle of it. What a crappy start. (Excuse the bad pun).

Then I get into work, punch on, and just begin to survey my domain (the fresh produce section) to see what needs filling, when I get called to registers to serve customers. Now, I am one of the few people in the store who can work in both service and fresh foods, and it has been a thorn in my side ever since I took the service training. It means that whenever more than one person lines up at registers, I have to trudge down and stick around on service for between 15 and 30 minutes. Considering I only work 4 hours on a night shift, it knocks out quite a bit of the time I need to do two people’s work in my department.

So I go to registers, put up with the usual inane comments, and return to my department only to find the store manager (who’s IQ is on a par with the fruit I fill) stalking Fresh Produce, and finding every single deviation from his idea of the perfect store environment.

Upon spotting me, he immediately starts a raving diatribe on the messy floor, the messy shelves, and my messy appearance. I calmly inform him that I have been on registers for half an hour, and couldn’t possibly have tidied up anything. His response nearly caused his death. “Well, maybe you should manage your time better.” And with that he walked off, unaware of his near death experience.

Pissed off, but determined not to be emo, I started to sweep the floor. Everything was going fine, until a girl on register 15 called for a member from Fresh Produce to assist a customer. Firstly, can I say what kind of retard calls for just a “member”? Is she expecting only the arm or the ***** of a staff member to come?

But I digress. So I get their, and she asks for the price of peaches. “5.88 a kg”, I tell her. Problem solved. However, I noticed she didn’t write this number down, for future reference. My intuition told me no good would come of this, but I went back to sweeping.

After that was done, I started to fill the shelves. A lady interrupted me, and asked for a cut pawpaw. I informed her of where they were located and she said, “Yes, but they’re all cut longways. I want one cut across the width.”

I asked her why did she want it cut across the width, and she replied, “Oh, they look better when cut across the width”. Now, I don’t care if it gets up and dances the Nuevo tango when it’s cut that way, we cut it longways. However, being the corporate tool that I am, I gave in to her demand and cut it for her. Whereupon the store manager comes up to me and asks me to sweep the floor again.

So, there I am sweeping the floor, when I get called to 15 again. Fearing what would occur, I find the girl puzzling over some peaches. 5.88 a kg I say again, and stride back to the broom. My store manager comes up to me and asks me to do a face up, and why am I still bothering to sweep. I felt like telling him that the only facing up that was going to happen was him facing up to the fact that I was about to shove the broom stick sideways up his arse. But I kept filling.

The rest of the night passed with little drama, except for one stupid customer, more on that later. I was on my last tidy up when my store manager comes up and starts his little bitching about how some of the shelves are empty and he is disappointed and I tell him that if there was stock I would have filled it and that the bitch on 15 should learn that it is [size=5]5.88 a fu[font=]c[/font]king kilo, you dumb slut[/size].

So, I left there in a bad mood, and so the inspiration for this rant was born.

[size=6] Oh, and to the lady who complained about my restricting her access to the mushrooms; when I start coming to your work and asking you idiotic questions and stopping you working, then you can do the same to me. Otherwise, get the f[font=]u[/font]ck out of my way, lardarse.[/size]

Looks like you had a fun day :)

Nice rant, though.

[QUOTE=HeavyRiva]Ahem.

What about where I live?

The nearest MXer to me is the length of England away.[/QUOTE]

where abouts do you live riva?

Nice rant :lol:

it was definatly a good rant
i wanted to rant today too, cause the whole 'goth' image is starting to piss me off so bad
its all like, i listen to greenday and the rasmus, i slit my wrists, look at me.
RRRRAAAh!

Me and Gilmour share your pain.

Whiny emo bit[b][i][/b][/i]ch.

:thumb:

Looks like you had a night of suck Riva.

I would suck at any job that involved contact with people alot. Especially stupid people. I'm like my dad, I get so mad when someone is slow to understand the simplest concept.

wow, that mustve sucked!

[QUOTE=LordDargon]Looks like you had a night of suck Riva.

I would suck at any job that involved contact with people alot. Especially stupid people. I'm like my dad, I get so mad when someone is slow to understand the simplest concept.[/QUOTE]
Same here. I'd love to punch them in the face when they do that.

:eek: Time for a new clan!

"MX Punch stupid people in the face crew."
















































or not :upset:

I have an affinity fo punching people in the face, I wanted do the same thing to an ugly girl (really ugly at that, ask gilmour) who carried herslef the hottest girl ever to grace earth.

She moved away so I never got to acheive my dream.

I hate that too! All the fat, goddam NASTY girls that wear like "100% angel" shirts that are meant for a size 1. They need Maddox therapy:

[url]http://maddox.xmission.com/fat.html[/url]

I hate when girls wear hot clothing but are actually ugly as sin.

You said sin. You must be a religious faggot.


I actually really like working with people. I especially like stupid people because while they piss me off, they're the easiest to help because you can just lie to them if it's too much trouble to figure out the answers to their questions.

[QUOTE=Fast Fingers]You said sin. You must be a religious faggot.


I actually really like working with people. I especially like stupid people because while they piss me off, they're the easiest to help because you can just lie to them if it's too much trouble to figure out the answers to their questions.[/QUOTE]
If some one ask where something is a tell too look in a certain area and if its not there then we don't have it.

:lol: I heard this story about this lady who didn't understand the concept of time zones, she couldn't figure out how the difference between the departure time in New York and the arrival time in L.A. was only an hour or so. So the guy she was asking just told her "it was a really fast plane."

Probably not true, but still funny.

Probably is true. The guy probably was serious. Either that or it was his kid and he still was serious.

Eithere way you slice it he was serious.

The worst is when a girl is pretty, and is kinda in shape, but they have some small bit of lovehandles, and yet they'd be hot if they wore shirts that'd cover that small area up.

:eek: You mean they were both st00pid?


*loses faith in humanity*

hahaha talk about working with stupid people, I'll win EVERY one of these contests. Most of the people who call 911 are completly ignorant. I should write a book about all the stupid **** these people do.