This made me laugh!

The Husband Store!

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman
may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a
description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE !

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper
ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch . . .. you may choose any
man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you
cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the
Husband Store to find a husband . .

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely
good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good
looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead
gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign
reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this
floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to
please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the
building, and have a nice day!

that is.....actually amazing.

Soo true haha

Haha, shallow =(

Arrrgh. Sometimes being a chick blows.

Especially when your bras don't fit anymore. F[I]u[/I]ckers are expensive, and 34 D's are hard to find =(

My ex was like, 34HH or something retarded.

I <3 My shoes.

[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/rancid_punk/12-11-06003.jpg[/IMG]

I had sex with my ex gf today. I feel kinda bad since i think now shes thinking that i would want to get back together with her.

Well you know you did have sex with her. She most certainly will expect it.

[QUOTE=Bonham#1!;13617139]Well you know you did have sex with her. She most certainly will expect it.[/QUOTE]

should i turn homo?

no...I'll just sort the thing out with her and not have sex with her anymore...

I just finished writing my 3rd paper about "sex education in public schools" for my College level English class.

The 1st was my opinion on the subject (I was all for it for the childrens sake)

The 2nd I wrote a paper on the opposite standpoint (Being Catholic came in handy ont hat one)

Then for the 3rd I took both papers, locked them in a room, and they had sweet literary sex and had a baby which was a combination of both papers to present all opinions on the topic.

Now, I have had two revelations throughout this process.
1) I need to get laid :angry: , its been 5 months since I broke up with my crazy, possessive, yet sex-obsessed ex g/f.
2) I would make an excellent health teacher. :smash:

Sex obsessed ftw.

i gotta write my persuasive essay soon. the only thing i like about it is that i get to choose whatever topic i want. i swear some kids in my class are so ****ING STUPID (ex. are green apples better than red apples?)

I chose Capital Punishment, and im against it. Only 5 paragraphs are allowd, and that means 3 paragraphs of actual meat. not that much really...

when im finished with the rough draft, i might post it.

[QUOTE=Bonham#1!;13617206]Sex obsessed ftw.[/QUOTE]

Writing a paper like mine 3 times over makes you that way.


Btw, topics were a random drawing, I didn't choose it.

[QUOTE=Drum Phil;13616791]My ex was like, 34HH or something retarded.

I <3 My shoes.

[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/rancid_punk/12-11-06003.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE]

sweet shoes phil

[QUOTE=Drum Phil;13616791]My ex was like, 34HH or something retarded.
[/QUOTE]

Ew. Thats awful.

That is fairly wrong like

:lol: I just received news a while ago about my friend's 18th birthday trip to the bar last night.

He lost $200 in cash, spent $80 on his own booze, $60 on buying his friends booze, and he picked up some random guy's tab for $60. That's $400 right there.

Then he was too drunk to keep his eyes open, so no cabs were picking them up.

They went to stay at a friend's brother's house overnight, and here's where the story gets interesting:

(This kid got way too drunk once at our aftergrad party, and by the time his mom dragged him home, he stopped in the garage, pulled down his pants, and started peeing on the floor. His mom didn't know what he was doing, so she goes to drag him into the house. She turns him around, and wham, he's peeing all over her legs.)

So last night, they bring him to my friend's brother's house to stay for the night. Somehow, one second he stands up to go get a drink, the next second my friend looks over and he's got his pants down around his ankles, just peeing on the floor. They jump up to grab him and he starts running away, pants around ankles, peeing as he runs. He pissed on just about everything in the kitchen, all over the floor, then ended up laying in the bathtub peeing all over himself.

They called his mom to come pick him up, and she covered her whole seat in saran wrap so the piss that was soaked into his clothes wouldn't soak into the seat.


And that's my friend.

My radio show's coming on at six. [url]http://www.wmvlradio.com[/url]

[QUOTE=Win A Rabbit;13617397]:lol: I just received news a while ago about my friend's 18th birthday trip to the bar last night.

He lost $200 in cash, spent $80 on his own booze, $60 on buying his friends booze, and he picked up some random guy's tab for $60. That's $400 right there.

Then he was too drunk to keep his eyes open, so no cabs were picking them up.

They went to stay at a friend's brother's house overnight, and here's where the story gets interesting:

(This kid got way too drunk once at our aftergrad party, and by the time his mom dragged him home, he stopped in the garage, pulled down his pants, and started peeing on the floor. His mom didn't know what he was doing, so she goes to drag him into the house. She turns him around, and wham, he's peeing all over her legs.)

So last night, they bring him to my friend's brother's house to stay for the night. Somehow, one second he stands up to go get a drink, the next second my friend looks over and he's got his pants down around his ankles, just peeing on the floor. They jump up to grab him and he starts running away, pants around ankles, peeing as he runs. He pissed on just about everything in the kitchen, all over the floor, then ended up laying in the bathtub peeing all over himself.

They called his mom to come pick him up, and she covered her whole seat in saran wrap so the piss that was soaked into his clothes wouldn't soak into the seat.


And that's my friend.[/QUOTE]

hahaha man. I read the story but I didnt know it was you posting it.

hey kids, sup?

hola.

Whats happnin.

not alot.

Aaron, I thought you only got banned for a day?

(I think that's your "alternate" account, is it not?)

I thought so because dates are different here to there.
In australia, todays date is 13/11/06. I read it as 11/something/06 when it was not.
Allegedly, I have a number of accounts I use.

whyd you get banned?

[quote=TTTSNB;13617401]My radio show's coming on at six. [url]http://www.wmvlradio.com[/url][/quote]
:thumb: 6 pm that is.

[quote=Sunshine;13617334]Ew. Thats awful.[/quote]

Yer.

[quote=oliv_da_skinmasher;13617319]sweet shoes phil[/quote]

TUK Creepers :D Comfy as fu[I]c[/I]k.

Trolling.








We're going to write stories in English sometime in the future.

I want to write about myself in an alternate universe as a starship captain. My future self from that universe is transported back in time to when I was the captain on the starship. I want to have a conversation with myself in which I have to decide whether or not I copulate with my geriatric futureself, or I save the future a whole lot of apocalypse because I dragged our galaxy 3,000 years into the future during a slipstream accident that day.

Meh....star trek sucks donkey's balls. Such super clean american neo conservative bullcrap.

Get into some real sci-fi , nitty gritty.

My favourite sci-fi subgenre is post apocalyptica

^ Agreed, cyberpunk and steampunk are also excellent. Such as China Mieville, Neil Stephenson....etc.