[QUOTE=ArrestThisMan]Back again, guys.

NP: Method Man - Judgement Day[/QUOTE]
:wave: :wave: :wave:

So my friend met a girl from MySpace today, and got pwned just like I did :lol:

[QUOTE=CemetaryGates9]To AH: I'm copying this from a typed file, so I'm not gonna bother to try and get around the swear filter.


I feel it neccessary to document this vile and horrible string of events. It pains me to think about, more so so retell this entire ordeal, so I want go into too many details. Let's burn through this. It was recess and I was sitting in that bench, right outside the building, the bench where Erin and her friends like to sit. The reason I was sitting there is because I knew Mary would pass by the bench on the way to recess helpers. She goes to recess helpers almost everyday, so I never get to see her during recess. But sometimes I like to sit there with a sad face and hope she'll notice, and try to comfort me or whatever. I don't know. The idea of just trying to be her friend, or to be her boyfriend, is just ****ing absurd. Number one, I'm the fattest, ugliest son of a bitch, and number two, she's friends with Erin. Mary is new this year, but Erin and I go back and she's probably told Mary all of the stupid things I have said and done over the years. Now Mary is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, and the thought of her makes me feel wonderful. She's a year older than me. Now let me explain Erin, and her bitchy little friends. First off there's Erin. Her and I are sort of friends, but she still thinks I'm gross. She's the only one I don't think is hot. I suppose she has a fairly nice body. So maybe I'd **** her. Yeah, I guess I would. But then again anyone who isn't absolutely hideous, isn't closely related to me, and is between like 11 years old and 40 is hot in my book. And then there's her friend Veronica. She is ****ing hot, capital H or something stupid like that. She's not perticularly skinny, she's not that fat but just a little. That doesn't bother me. You need cushion for the pushin'. She has big ****, nice ***, slutty looking face that you want to just rub your dick on. Ahh. She's a bitch. We don't talk much because she thinks, sorry, knows I'm a perverted *******. We've had normal conversations, but most of the time we just bitch at each other. Then there's Megan. Black hair, skinny, all that fun ****. She's pretty. She doesn't like me but she's still kind of nice, because once I told her she was pretty and she thanked me. That surprised the hell out of me because usually they just go, "Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Then there's Elyssa. I'm not sure what the **** I find hot about her. She has no **** and her *** is flat like two ****in Aunt Jemima pancakes. For some reason I find her face hot, though there's a lot of pimples and ninety nine percent of guys would say shes ugly. I guess its just the thought of her putting her hands in my pubic hairs and sucking on my dick till I cum all over her face. Yeah, I guess its that. There's Michelle, who I find kinda hot, her face is alright and shes got some flab, so she has pretty good **** and ***. She's really good friends with Mary. Last but not least is Cherry. She has a pretty **** hot face, small **** but a nice *** and I'd definately **** that bitch.

kthx[/QUOTE]

Gee, I wonder why she would be upset.

Your protagonist needs therapy.

[quote=CemeteryGates9]Would you like to read ten lines of said story?[/quote]

That was definitely NOT ten lines, dude :mathematics:

Then who's the girl that didn't want you to write that?


By the way: *Particularly

Which character was she? And that was kinda strange. Maybe you should see someone, counsellor? And please do not show that to any other people mentioned in the story.

Am I missing something? Is this just a story about you talking about different girls?

[QUOTE] Gee, I wonder why she was upset [/QUOTE]
:lol:

[QUOTE] Your protagonist needs therapy[/QUOTE]
One of my main goals was to have the reader convinced of that. And it will only get worse

Oh, so it's not autobiographic?

Im trying to get my parents to forget that they want to give me a counselor. ERIN is the girl that doesn't want me writing it. And thats just a little bit of background in the beginning to explain the characters.

So does anyone have any advice for the auction tonight for me? :-\

It's all for fun (I assume). Just go with that attitude.

Only some of it is autobiographic

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]So does anyone have any advice for the auction tonight for me? :-\[/QUOTE]

I don't know why you're against suits, I think it would give you a better chance, you'd look classy.

Your protagonist needs to get laid. P.S. you can't write psychosis well if you aren't familiar with it. He just seems to be a really horny teenager. His language is very frank but I don't think it's that bad? :confused:

[QUOTE=Superpeer]I don't know why you're against suits, I think it would give you a better chance, you'd look classy.[/QUOTE]

I don't have a suit with me at uni, and it's too late for me to go run out to goodwill or something because I have to revise that paper.

[QUOTE=ArrestThisMan]It's all for fun (I assume). Just go with that attitude.[/QUOTE]

Fun for sure...just pack contraception justincase ;)

The language is supposed to be frank as hell. I dont know why but I felt it'd be better that way. And it goes way past normal teen that needs to get laid. Every girl mentioned gets killed. Especially Mary. She gets killed+++

[QUOTE=clearvision]Fun for sure...just pack contraception justincase ;)[/QUOTE]

:lol: I don't know about all that.

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]I don't have a suit with me at uni, and it's too late for me to go run out to goodwill or something because I have to revise that paper.[/QUOTE]

Heh, then just wear a flower in your hair or something. :p
Just don't stand on stage with your hands in your pockets in a food stained t shirt, staring at the ground.

[QUOTE=ArrestThisMan]It's all for fun (I assume). Just go with that attitude.[/QUOTE]

Idea!

I'll take pictures of the event tonight.

[quote=Superpeer]Heh, then just wear a flower in your hair or something. :p
Just don't stand on stage with your hands in your pocket in a food stained t shirt, staring at the ground.[/quote]

I plan on showering again before I go, but thanks for the reminder :p

No flowers, either... unless I go into the chem lab and steal one or something*

*it might come alive and eat me... I don't trust chemistry

Watch a guy buy AH :lol:

[QUOTE=ArrestThisMan]Watch a guy buy AH :lol:[/QUOTE]

It'll probably happen :(

I would probably die on the spot or run out of the auction screaming in manic horror in order to retain my title of Resident MX Asexual :grin:

[QUOTE=CemetaryGates9]The language is supposed to be frank as hell. I dont know why but I felt it'd be better that way. And it goes way past normal teen that needs to get laid. Every girl mentioned gets killed. Especially Mary. She gets killed+++[/QUOTE]
Yeah, it is very frank. It's more refreshing to me than off-putting though. Meh, I'm just saying it comes off as him being way horny and angsty, and pretty typical heh. He doesn't seem sadistic or anything and so I can't see any reason he would even bother killing them from that passage.

[QUOTE=Med57]Wear something entertaining...I like the idea of a flower in your hair, but failing that wear something completely ridiculous or something. Yeah, I know that contrasts with the advice of wearing a suit. :-/

:lol:

[SIZE=1]Sorry Jom[/SIZE][/QUOTE]

Hahahaha, no, I laughed, too.

Also, I said that I don't have a suit here, but I could probably whip out something ridiculous, so long as I don't look like a homosexual, because that's not the look I am shooting for.

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314] but I could probably whip out something ridiculous[/QUOTE]

refl.. word of advice, don't whip anything out

[QUOTE=zeppelinfan2k3]Yeah, it is very frank. It's more refreshing to me than off-putting though. Meh, I'm just saying it comes off as him being way horny and angsty, and pretty typical heh. He doesn't seem sadistic or anything and so I can't see any reason he would even bother killing them from that passage.[/QUOTE]
Well, what ultimately goes down is he snaps and decides to kidknap all of them and have some mass murder go down just for fun. It would have gotten really messed up.

[QUOTE=ArrestThisMan]refl.. word of advice, don't whip anything out[/QUOTE]
:lol:

Poor Jom

[QUOTE=CemetaryGates9]Well, what ultimately goes down is he snaps and decides to kidknap all of them and have some mass murder go down just for fun. It would have gotten really messed up.[/QUOTE]
Meh, sounds too over the top to be believable :p

[QUOTE=ArrestThisMan]refl.. word of advice, don't whip anything out[/QUOTE]

You're dirty. I don't have anything large enough to make a whipping motion with anyway :p

I am now making Chef Boyardee for dinner because I am too lazy to go to buffet.