[QUOTE=Iscariot]If she wanted to be with you, she would be. She doesn't reciprocate your feelings, at least not enough to jeopordize what she has right now. Just be happy that you're her friend and keep it at that.[/QUOTE]


Yeah, thats true, I know i'll never get back with her because me and her have just changed completely that we dont fit well with eachother anymore. Thanks for the help:thumb:

That's what I'm here for.

So I had "the talk" with my gf about why we're not progressing. She said she doesnt want to have sex for a while. Shes still a virgin and wants to stay that way for a little bit longer. And said she cant explain why that is. Whether she doesnt want to tell me or she actually doesnt know why. Either way thats cool. At this point she had to get off the phone so I never got my questions answered about why we're not doing everything else.

So I figure I'l take Danish's advice and just push the limits and if I'm stopped I'll bring it up then and ask. :thumb: But I said I think things should go further so hopefully she gets the idea and things improve.

I'm not looking just to get my end wet but I actually believe it helps people connect and grow alot better as they are opening themselves up more to the other. Anyway peace..

If she doesn't feel that she's 100% on board to progress to that level of physicality in the relationship, you should respect that and let her set her limits. Imagine if the role were reversed - would you want her pushing you towards an experience that could make or break the rest of your relationship?

I had an ex-girlfriend who had yet to lose her virginity and I, being the typical teenage guy, smooth-talked her into finally giving it up. Our relationship sank shortly afterwards and I realized, what I viewed as her level of comfort was actually me projecting my level of desire onto her. I knew that she wasn't ready for what happened and to be quite honest, I wasn't ready to accept the responsibility of bringing that kind of change upon her.

Just let your girl decide when the time is right. If you honestly start losing interest over time due to her not giving it up, then you shouldn't be with her because you're letting the lust of the relationship make your decisions for you.

Been a few weeks since I've been here. How's it going? My ex wants to get back with me. I don't want a girlfriend though. If a nice girl came along then I would, but I'm not searching for anything. I'm gonna be visiting a lot of friends that just graduated, and happen to be girls, at college next year:naughty: and I don't think that a relationship would be good

Helllooo. I am looking for a little advice from people who understand the males of the species.

I had been noticing that a male friend of mine seemed to be liking me a bit, hugging a lot, etc. It was a guy I had previously fancied a bit when I first met him about last October/November but not thought much of it.

But then about a month and a half ago, he kissed me when we left each other after a show. We ended up making out a bit just because...It's been so long since I kissed someone and it felt kind of good. But I was really confused about my feelings so I said I had to go but gave him my number and said we should hang out or something, leaving the ball in his court.

3 or 4 weeks passed, and I'm a pretty laid back sort of a person so I hadn't over-worried myself or myspace messaged him or anything, I was easy either way. Then I bumped into him outside a show, and it was kind of awkward cus his friends were there and he obviously didn't wanna bring anything up in front of them. However his friends left and he said he had sent me a message and I obviously hadn't got it, he said his phone sometimes doesn't deliver messages (it is a really old model). Then he kissed me again, and I said we should hang out sometime but I was moving out of town a week later for the summer.

We hung out that evening at the show, and it was nice and relaxed and fun. Then he said he would see me on the Friday (2 days before I left town for 4 months) as he was heading to the same show as me.

So I headed to the show on the Friday, expecting he would be there. I didn't see him, and I would have definitely seen him if he was there as it was a little squat show. I thought this was a bit odd, as it was one of his favourite bands, so a few days later I just sent him a simple myspace message saying "you weren't at the show on Friday". Now cus it was on myspace I could see that he had read it, but he never replied. That was a week ago.

I wasn't too bothered either way before, and one of my friends said it was probably my stand-offish attitude that put him off. Do you reckon that's true? It just seems weird to me, as this guy was chasing me, that he's suddenly not communicating at all. He might just be a bit of a player, he doesn't seem like the type but he's in a couple of bands so I guess you never know...

Sorry Jas, but it definitely sounds like you got played. You didn't go as far as he wanted so he bailed on you.

Um...Well, to be fair, he didnt call you after you kissed the first time. The whole 'Oh my phone doesnt work' thing was an on the spot lie.

As a male, this is pretty textbook. Not trying to be mean, but basically, he wanted you physically at first, the whole hugging and whatnot stuff. The kiss the first night meant nothing, it just put his foot in the door, but most likely he had other girls going on as well. He didnt need to call you because he was getting it somewhere else.

When he bumped into you again weeks later, all he did was lie and then kept the avenue of getting with you open by kissing you again...you just played into him like a book. Basically he's got you right where he wanted you.

Good stuff.

And the jury is in.

Well, chalk up another victory to us men, I suppose. Can I get a high five?

:h5:

Faiiiir enough. Just needed to hear it from someone else I suppose. As I said, I am pretty laid back about the whole thing, and when I said I was confused the first time it's cus to be fair I have stronger feelings for other people right now. Plus this guy has a few traits I found irritating in an ex who I really dislike, I hate it when that happens.

[QUOTE=the-UK-ska-scene] Plus this guy has a few traits I found irritating in an ex who I really dislike, I hate it when that happens.[/QUOTE]


Like kissing naive girls and leading them on for weeks?

[QUOTE=Tiger]Like kissing naive girls and leading them on for weeks?[/QUOTE]

Hah, no, like being all weird and more emotional than me and whining a bit.

To be fair he didn't exactly lead me on for weeks, as I was getting on with my life/other people in between times we just picked up where we left off when we met up again.

[QUOTE=BrownSugar]So I had "the talk" with my gf about why we're not progressing. She said she doesnt want to have sex for a while. Shes still a virgin and wants to stay that way for a little bit longer. And said she cant explain why that is. Whether she doesnt want to tell me or she actually doesnt know why. Either way thats cool. At this point she had to get off the phone so I never got my questions answered about why we're not doing everything else.

So I figure I'l take Danish's advice and just push the limits and if I'm stopped I'll bring it up then and ask. :thumb: But I said I think things should go further so hopefully she gets the idea and things improve.

I'm not looking just to get my end wet but I actually believe it helps people connect and grow alot better as they are opening themselves up more to the other. Anyway peace..[/QUOTE]

Dude, you shouldn't have had the talk on the phone.

You should make it clear to her that you're ok with not having sex, but you should at [i]least[/i] be at third base!

Yeah I know I didnt get the chance to take her out that night, she had a family thing she needed to be at. But I will definately finish the talk off in person, I just needed to get that outta me right there and then lol. Its been eatin at me for weeks and weeks. Shed been to third base with her ex in the very first night, I'm gonna have to pull out the old "did you like him more than me?". I really cant see a reason we're not after five months. but anyway..

[QUOTE=BrownSugar]I'm gonna have to pull out the old "did you like him more than me?". I really cant see a reason we're not after five months. but anyway..[/QUOTE]

Jesus, don't do that.

Did you ever stop to think that the reason she hasn't gone that far with you is [b]because[/b] she cares about you more than her ex? You really need to stop being a dumbass about the whole physicality thing. I'm not saying I wouldn't be itching for it either, but you should be flattered that she cares more about your relationship than your dick.

Alright then I'm flattered. But look, your a guy, any guy would be itching for it after five months with not so much as a hand job. All I'm doing is asking her, theres no harm in that. Its not like I've ever even asked for anything this whole time, I let her take her time. Now I'm just seeing where we stand. Sweet.

[QUOTE=BrownSugar]Alright then I'm flattered. But look, your a guy, any guy would be itching for it after five months with not so much as a hand job. All I'm doing is asking her, theres no harm in that. Its not like I've ever even asked for anything this whole time, I let her take her time. Now I'm just seeing where we stand. Sweet.[/QUOTE]

Don't take this too hard but it sounds like you might not be with the right girl.

this has happened to me a couple of times:

girls i know sometimes turn to me out of the blue and say stuff like «Hey, do you know my friend Whoever? (whom i did meet, and who is standing next to her)» or «Hey, have you said hi to Sara today?» (and i have, and Sara's right there next to her).

what gives? are they trying to grab attention or what?

[QUOTE=BrownSugar]Alright then I'm flattered. But look, your a guy, any guy would be itching for it after five months with not so much as a hand job. All I'm doing is asking her, theres no harm in that. Its not like I've ever even asked for anything this whole time, I let her take her time. Now I'm just seeing where we stand. Sweet.[/QUOTE]

Theres more to a relationship than the sexual side of things. Once you realize that you'll be better off.

[QUOTE=EinzingerIsGod]Theres more to a relationship than the sexual side of things. Once you realize that you'll be better off.[/QUOTE]

That's 100% true but when your in a sexual relationship you feel much closer to your partner, you have a better bond. Well at least in my case.

[QUOTE=~Sophie~]That's 100% true but when your in a sexual relationship you feel much closer to your partner, you have a better bond. Well at least in my case.[/QUOTE]

Right. I'm not saying that he should be abstaining or anything along those lines. I agree with you completely that it can build a better bond. But when you're in a relationship strictly for sexual reasons things generally fail.

[QUOTE=EinzingerIsGod]Right. I'm not saying that he should be abstaining or anything along those lines. I agree with you completely that it can build a better bond. But when you're in a relationship strictly for sexual reasons things generally fail.[/QUOTE]


Its been made redundantly clear that the guy is not in it for just sex. Five months have gone by with nothing intimate and he's been patient the entire time.

Climb down off your high horse so you can read the thread a little better.

[QUOTE=BrownSugar]Alright then I'm flattered. But look, your a guy, any guy would be itching for it after five months with not so much as a hand job. All I'm doing is asking her, theres no harm in that. Its not like I've ever even asked for anything this whole time, I let her take her time. Now I'm just seeing where we stand. Sweet.[/QUOTE]
You're being an idiot, dude.

Of course we as guys would probably be "itching for it" after five months, but whether it's something big like sex or something as little as a handjob, whatever kind of stuff like that that she's going to do, you let her do it when she wants to.

What Iscariot is saying is right. Maybe, just MAYBE, it's because she actually gives a damn about you, and maybe whenever you two DO have sex, she wants it to be special. Having talks about it doesn't do anything but make her feel pressured, whether those are your intentions or not.

My advice, either stop being a dick and let her come to her own decisions, or find a girl who will put out for you whenever you snap your fuc[size=2]king[/size] fingers.

I'm sure it says a few pages back but how old are you? (BrownSugar)

[QUOTE=Tillius]You're being an idiot, dude.

Of course we as guys would probably be "itching for it" after five months, but whether it's something big like sex or something as little as a handjob, whatever kind of stuff like that that she's going to do, you let her do it when she wants to.

What Iscariot is saying is right. Maybe, just MAYBE, it's because she actually gives a damn about you, and maybe whenever you two DO have sex, she wants it to be special. Having talks about it doesn't do anything but make her feel pressured, whether those are your intentions or not.

My advice, either stop being a dick and let her come to her own decisions, or find a girl who will put out for you whenever you snap your fuc[size=2]king[/size] fingers.[/QUOTE]

Exactly.

my mum wants to meet my gf, who i dont really think is her type, as in she wont approve of it.

what should i do?

[QUOTE=Corkofski]my mum wants to meet my gf, who i dont really think is her type, as in she wont approve of it.

what should i do?[/QUOTE]
Think of worse scenarios and it'll help you feel better. Imagine your mother is a homophobe and you're bringing home your first boyfriend.

[QUOTE=Corkofski]my mum wants to meet my gf, who i dont really think is her type, as in she wont approve of it.

what should i do?[/QUOTE]

Why do you think she wont approve of her?
How long have you been together?
How old are you?