sure they can

And, that's YOUR opinion.

no i don't speak in opinions, darling.

I relay certain facts that God himself has provided me with.

oic.

sexymuffin if i was a girl would you make love to me all night long and tell how beautiful i am

I certainly wouldn't.

tang, its a kick in the glass

[QUOTE=I Am a Hat]sexymuffin if i was a girl would you make love to me all night long and tell how beautiful i am[/QUOTE]

yeah but only if you gave good head


on a serious note: I think it's retarded that people say sex isn't important to a relationship and usually look at people who say sex [i]is[/i] important as sleazy scumbags who have their priorities mixed up. What makes an emotional relationship any more intimate then a sexual one? I hate people that hold their virginity up as some sign to all how pure and rightous they are almost as much as they hate people who tell them sex is the only way to go

umm i gave it a try in fifth grade

[QUOTE=beeyotch]You can have a perfectly happy relationship without sex... and I think people should give it a try, initially. But once you do have sex involved in your relationship, then it becomes very important to the relationship.[/QUOTE]

if you have a strong relationship then sex doesn't matter.

That's why you should do it.

Once you have sex, it doesnt become important. I mean, Ive been with my boyfriend for almost 9 months now and we had sex like, before we started dating.
It was never/has never become an important part of our relationship. Sure, its awesome as hell but we dont rely on it.

I might be getting back together with my ex, Rachel. :)

Wish some luck my way.

Good luck, Jared. Hope it works out. :)

Good luck and all the best to you, Jared, especially after that Layla ordeal.

[quote=sexymuffin]on a serious note: I think it's retarded that people say sex isn't important to a relationship and usually look at people who say sex is important as sleazy scumbags who have their priorities mixed up.[/quote]

Sup, generalizations?

[quote]I hate people that hold their virginity up as some sign to all how pure and rightous they are almost as much as they hate people who tell them sex is the only way to go[/quote]

Sup, middle ground?

to sexymuffin:

Although sex isnt like...mandatory, i dont think I would be dating someone if we didnt have sex. Call me shallow but whatever.

I can go without it, but not for months at a time.

[QUOTE=Jom]Good luck and all the best to you, Jared, especially after that Layla ordeal.[/QUOTE]

It was Lena. In case you're poking fun.

I've come to learn that anytime a girl has sex with a guy when they're dating or whatever, that's usually all they wanted. The sex.

That's why I usually try to find someone who is a virgin. You can call me stupid or whatever, but it just makes me very uncomfortable if I'm dating someone who has had sex. I don't know why, but it does. I like a girl with inocence, and they seem to lose that if they've lost their virginity. To me, (just me, and yes even I think I'm retarded thinking it) sex is something that younger people do to get their kicks. They know there's risks in it but just could careless because they want to be cool and they want that good feeling. I plan to be sexually abstinent until I'm married, because then the experience will be much better and caring. I find sex completley overrated and unneccesary unless you plan on reproducing.

I also know a lot of my friends who had sex with their gf's/bf's and their relationships seemed to poof away just like that.

sounds like nbf has some performance and/or physical anxieties

Oh so you think I'm scared of having sex? :p

It isn't that entirley, I have no worries of how my performance will be/how long I'll last, I just don't see any importance of it when it comes to a relationship. I want it to be something I can save and share with that special someone.

well you shouldn't have sex when you just start dating if that's not what you want

if she is up for sex, well maybe an explanation that you want a deeper relationship before you go the whole hog

yes, the male refusing sex sounds a bit girly but you personally will be better off in your feelings and confidence

I just know that I'd feel really guilty if I had sex with someone and I only dated for like a month. Guilty is the only word I can think of really. IDK maybe I am kinda cowardly, more along the lines of how I'll affect the girl. I may try to hard, I may not try hard enough, cuz I won't wanna hurt her.

[QUOTE=BJ_maddog]sounds like nbf has some performance and/or physical anxieties[/QUOTE]

More like serious misconceptions about why relationships end

I dont know. I think you have somehow twisted sex into something bad kind of.
Like, you want to wait until marriage...thats great. Everyone has their own preference and all, but because you are doing so because you feel guily or whatever, thats odd.

Sex isnt as big of an issue as everyone makes it out to be. Its not all of a sudden going to make a good relationship bad or completely wrapped up in sex.

[QUOTE=purplefeet]I dont know. I think you have somehow twisted sex into something bad kind of.
Like, you want to wait until marriage...thats great. Everyone has their own preference and all, but because you are doing so because you feel guily or whatever, thats odd.

Sex isnt as big of an issue as everyone makes it out to be. Its not [B]all of a sudden going to make a good relationship bad or completely wrapped up in sex.[/B][/QUOTE]

that's more or less the virgin mindset

You always hear "You don't know what you're missing" or "it's going to change the relationship" and in my experience it didn't change anything and I don't really miss it. It's just something that happens, and it's fun to do.

You guys are misreading me. I've had friends whos girlfriends left them because all they wanted in the relationship was sex. IDK why but sex has just never been a real big turn on for me...plus I don't want to risk getting a girl pregnant or exchanging AIDs or something.

/waits for someone to say wear a condom

how old are you?

17.

last thing i need you guys to do is convince me to do something that i dont want to do and am not intersted in doing anyway

Hey guys, just thought I'd let you know that everything is still going really well with me and Phil. He slept over at my house on Sunday night, and we had a great chat about things that have been worrying me (the worrying he's going to cheat on me, and other stuff) , and it gave him chance to discuss his thoughts on it all too. So I'm feeling really great, and really confident about us now. We also spent 3 whole days with each other, and I feel like I've got to know him and fallen for him, even more than I already did.

[QUOTE=nobodyblossomsforever]17.

last thing i need you guys to do is convince me to do something that i dont want to do and am not intersted in doing anyway[/QUOTE]

Don't do it then. It's as simple as that. Wait till you feel ready, and you'll enjoy it a whole lot more than feeling pushed into it.

[QUOTE=nobodyblossomsforever]17.[/QUOTE]

When I was 16 and early into 17, I felt pretty much the same way you do. I don't know if you've ever been in a really close relationship, but that's what changed it for me.

With that said...I'm 85% sure that I'm dating a (20 year old) virgin (I can't figure out how to bring it up without coming off as only wanting sex from her...especially since she thinks I'm a sex fiend) and if that's the case it's going to be a while before I have sex again, and I don't see that as that much of a big deal.

[QUOTE=nobodyblossomsforever]You guys are misreading me. I've had friends whos girlfriends left them because all they wanted in the relationship was sex. IDK why but sex has just never been a real big turn on for me...plus I don't want to risk getting a girl pregnant or exchanging AIDs or something.

/waits for someone to say wear a condom[/QUOTE]

Not having sex in fear for the consequences that may happen, such a pregnancy and AIDS is alright, you have some reasoning there in which I can understand.

But you really cant base your idea of sex around what has happened to your friends. Some people do many things, hell if I based by opinions on what everyone else did, I would probably be really fuked up.

If sex isnt what you want, thats cool. But dont let what happens to other people cloud your view on things.

[QUOTE=Blue Haze]Hey guys, just thought I'd let you know that everything is still going really well with me and Phil. He slept over at my house on Sunday night, and we had a great chat about things that have been worrying me (the worrying he's going to cheat on me, and other stuff) , and it gave him chance to discuss his thoughts on it all too. So I'm feeling really great, and really confident about us now. We also spent 3 whole days with each other, and I feel like I've got to know him and fallen for him, even more than I already did.
.[/QUOTE]

:) Im glad to hear things are working out darling. Ive been following the last couple weeks, and you are only seeming to get happier and happier, which is wonderful. I know exactly how you are feeling (completely in love) and its the best feeling in the whole world.

Well thank you very much, that's really nice of you to say.

I'm just so glad that I'm actually happy now. I finished with my counsellor about two months ago too, which is something I'm kinda proud of. I also think it's safe to say, I am completely and utterly in love.

I hope things continue to work out for you and your fella too honey. :)

[QUOTE=Blue Haze]Well thank you very much, that's really nice of you to say.

I'm just so glad that I'm actually happy now. I finished with my counsellor about two months ago too, which is something I'm kinda proud of. I also think it's safe to say, I am completely and utterly in love.

I hope things continue to work out for you and your fella too honey. :)[/QUOTE]

Well you should be proud love :) And its something which you should (and are) very happy about.

Thanks babe! Right now, Im pretty condident that they will. We are heading into 9 months together next week,and I couldnt be happier.

I'm glad you found Phil, Becky. Sounds like he's perfect. :)

9 months heh, that's good stuff right there. Are you doing something nice to celebrate your sort of anniversary?

[QUOTE=Blue Haze]9 months heh, that's good stuff right there. Are you doing something nice to celebrate your sort of anniversary?[/QUOTE]

Death Metal Concert :p

[QUOTE=purplefeet]Death Metal Concert :p[/QUOTE]

Still sounds good! At least you're together.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]I'm glad you found Phil, Becky. Sounds like he's perfect. :)[/QUOTE]

Thank you Kimmie, and so am I. :)

Ahhh summer lovin'

I have this female friend, we have been best friends since freshman year, she's that girl that will always be your friend no matter what, we joke around a lot and just chill. But the past few weeks it has getting pretty romantic, I guess. Like we always cuddle and stuff and the past 3 days me and her have stayed out until like 3 am just cuddling in my basement and like laying on top of me. She always holds my hand in public like we're a couple. She's also kissed me on the cheek and stuff which from her means somthing, because she never does that to anyone.

I'm starting to have some strong feelings for her and she is too (from what I can see). But I'm just worried that going into a relationship with your best female friend can be weird. Like most people connect with her on a joking/friendly basis but me and her connect on different levels it seems like and can talk about anything.

Have any of you dated your best female(male) friend? I'll probably ask her out today or tomorrow, I just don't want it to be weird

[QUOTE=nobodyblossomsforever]I've come to learn that anytime a girl has sex with a guy when they're dating or whatever, that's usually all they wanted. The sex.[/quote]

... I don't even know how to respond to that.

[quote]I like a girl with inocence, and they seem to lose that if they've lost their virginity.[/quote]

I honestly don't believe there is any correllation between virginity and innocence.

[quote]To me, (just me, and yes even I think I'm retarded thinking it) sex is something that younger people do to get their kicks. They know there's risks in it but just could careless because they want to be cool and they want that good feeling.[/quote]

If you think it's retarded to hold this opinion, then why are you still holding it?

[quote]I plan to be sexually abstinent until I'm married, because then the experience will be much better and caring. I find sex completley overrated and unneccesary unless you plan on reproducing. [/quote]

Fine. But to be fair, you should probably stop making these generalizations of people who disagree with you. It would be like me saying that people who practice abstinence are all scared to death of their own desires. In some cases it may be true, but it's certainly not an accurate statement.

[quote]I also know a lot of my friends who had sex with their gf's/bf's and their relationships seemed to poof away just like that.[/QUOTE]

So sex was to blame for their relationships not working out?

In my experience, it's not sex that causes the break-up. It's because guys have been brow-beaten since youth to believe that when you have sex with a woman you need to start acting like her loyal puppy. They stop being fun, challenging, and exciting, and start acting whipped. And if there's one thing women can't stand, it's a clingy, needy guy.

[i]That's[/i] what kills the relationship. It has nothing to do with with libido.

[QUOTE=nobodyblossomsforever]You guys are misreading me. I've had friends whos girlfriends left them because all they wanted in the relationship was sex.[/quote]

So sex drives you to become a lustful dog who wants nothing else? Again, you seem to have some very serious misconceptions about the nature of relationships.

Are you familiar with the concept of love styles? It's a set of categories based on recurring behaviours in intimate relationships. Few people fit into one alone, and it's more common to be a blend of two or three.

Eros - driven mostly by passion
Storge - believes love starts with friendship
Pragma - takes a systematic and analytical approach to relationships
Ludus - the playa types who seldom settle down
Agape - selfless and giving by nature

Obviously, certain combos aren't going to mix that well, because both people will want something different. If a woman wants a long-term lover, and a man only wants a f[size=2]u[/size]ckbuddy, no amount of abstinence is going to save that relationship. It was doomed from the start.

But sex doesn't even have to enter into the equation. There are so many variables and factors that go into a relationship that you're not taking into consideration.

Pardon me for saying this, but I think you're showing a very clear virgin mindset. You almost sound intimidated by sex.

[quote]/waits for someone to say wear a condom[/QUOTE]

Don't be a fool, wrap your tool.

I guess I am intimidated by it and I'm a little afraid of it. I don't feel like I'm ready to have sex and it's not really my priority right now. I'm not telling people what they should and should not do, I'm just telling people useless info on what goes through my brain.