[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]I'm procrasturbating from going to bed.

My roommate needs to shut the fuc[size=2]k up, though. :mad:[/size][/QUOTE]

That's why I got a single room in a suite. It's not very big, but that just means I don't have to spend as much effort to get things on the other side of the room.

[QUOTE=Steerpike]I'm currently having a huge ego trip. I had to do a narrative speech for Public Speaking. The guidelines were to pick a personal anecdote, a folk tale, an original work, or similar story that had an ending lesson or moral, and present with as few notes as possible.

I adapted the lyrics I wrote for a song a year ago into a short story, and presented it to the class with no notes at all. By the time I came to moral message at the end, several of them were sitting on the edges of their seats and two of the girls were leaning forward intently with their lips slightly parted in a look of anticipation. I had the room completely under my control.

God ****, that felt good.[/QUOTE]

Steerpike owns all the ladies.

And I bet you really do, and you just don't know it. The astounding intelligence of which you are an owner is starting to take hold! This is what I said would happen all along, right?

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]I'm procrasturbating from going to bed.
[/QUOTE]

Procrasturbating haha. :lol:

That's almost like..oh I get it.

/lame false slowness

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]I'm procrasturbating from going to bed.

My roommate needs to shut the fuc[size=2]k up, though. :mad:[/size][/QUOTE]

I love your little synthetic words.

Sorry, I guess I'm feeling creative tonight or something :shrug:

Good, he hung up. That bitch.

FYI-I changed my avatar not in honor of SoaD's new kickarse single, but because some guy in the Tool thread asked me why I had a picture of Aaron Carter in my avatar. :angry:

[QUOTE=Dr. Jake Destructo]FYI-I changed my avatar not in honor of SoaD's new kickarse single, but because some guy in the Tool thread asked me why I had a picture of Aaron Carter in my avatar. :angry:[/QUOTE]

Bahahaahah

[QUOTE=Cain]Bahahaahah[/QUOTE]

123

Bahahahahaha

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]Sorry, I guess I'm feeling creative tonight or something :shrug:

Good, he hung up. That bitch.[/QUOTE]

I believe I said "love" not "hate."

Sounds like someone's sarcasm detector is broken.

[QUOTE=Cain]I believe I said "love" not "hate."

Sounds like someone's sarcasm detector is broken.[/QUOTE]

Oh no no no I got it, that's just what I would say if you said that to me in real life... not a shrug as in "Oh, well" but a shrug as in "What can I say? I made a funny" sort of shrug.

I can't believe it's only Wednesday... three more days.

Three more days until?

[QUOTE=Cain]Steerpike owns all the ladies.

And I bet you really do, and you just don't know it. The astounding intelligence of which you are an owner is starting to take hold! This is what I said would happen all along, right?[/QUOTE]

Took me long enough to figure it out, didn't it? :p

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]Sorry, I guess I'm feeling creative tonight or something :shrug:

Good, he hung up. That bitch.[/QUOTE]

You remind me a lot of a couple friends of mine. One likes to make up words for the sake of being funny. Another has a guy on his dorm floor who has been known to spend upwards of 2 hours in the bathroom and is referred to as "bitch" and "The Princess."

[QUOTE=Dr. Jake Destructo]FYI-I changed my avatar not in honor of SoaD's new kickarse single, but because some guy in the Tool thread asked me why I had a picture of Aaron Carter in my avatar. :angry:[/QUOTE]

That's cold, Obi-Wan

/lame Clerks reference

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]Oh no no no I got it, that's just what I would say if you said that to me in real life... not a shrug as in "Oh, well" but a shrug as in "What can I say? I made a funny" sort of shrug.

I can't believe it's only Wednesday... three more days.[/QUOTE] I think we'd get along pretty well if we met up, Jim. :thumb:

[QUOTE=Efilnikufesin]Three more days until?[/QUOTE]

THE WEEKEND! WOO!

[size=1]And me going home for Easter weekend[/size] :)

[quote=Steerpike]You remind me a lot of a couple friends of mine. One likes to make up words for the sake of being funny. Another has a guy on his dorm floor who has been known to spend upwards of 2 hours in the bathroom and is referred to as "bitch" and "The Princess."[/quote]

I'm going to take that as a compliment since you called those guys your friends :)

My roommate seriously is the biggest dick. I seriously contemplated pissing in his orange juice carton this morning, but realized that if he found out he'd do something worse.

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]I'm going to take that as a compliment since you called those guys your friends :)

My roommate seriously is the biggest dick. I seriously contemplated pissing in his orange juice carton this morning, but realized that if he found out he'd do something worse.[/QUOTE]

Lawl. You should have done it!

There's always the fingers in the pail of water while sleeping gag.

One time, a camp counseler at my summer camp got ambushed by his charges because he kept waking them up too early, so they tackled him, tied him up with duct tape, shaved his legs, carried him to the pier, stuck him in a canoe and pushed him out into the middle of the lake.

That might do it.

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]I'm going to take that as a compliment since you called those guys your friends :)[/quote]

As obnoxious as they can be, I'm loyal to my friends to a fault.

[quote]My roommate seriously is the biggest dick. I seriously contemplated pissing in his orange juice carton this morning, but realized that if he found out he'd do something worse.[/QUOTE]

I'll talk to my friend Mike and see if we can help you out there. He's a master of sophomoric prank wars and coming out on top of them.

[QUOTE=Steerpike]That's cold, Obi-Wan

/lame Clerks reference[/QUOTE]
Best Star Wars conversation ever.

[QUOTE=Steerpike]As obnoxious as they can be, I'm loyal to my friends to a fault.

I'll talk to my friend Mike and see if we can help you out there. He's a master of sophomoric prank wars and coming out on top of them.[/QUOTE]
Awesome, man, to both parts. I appreciate it.

EDIT:

[quote=Cain]The fingers in the water gag[/quote]

How long do the fingers have to be submerged before the pissing commences?

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]Awesome, man, to both parts. I appreciate it.

EDIT:



How long do the fingers have to be submerged before the pissing commences?[/QUOTE]

Unknown. Maybe thirty minutes?

I'm sure you can just Google it. :p

[QUOTE=Cain]Unknown. Maybe thirty minutes?

I'm sure you can just Google it. :p[/QUOTE]

Too lazy.

Thirty minutes would be wayyyy too long. I need it so that I go undetected.

do the shaving cream one. it actually works

I'm going to write it out in a scientific form

[U]Shaving Cream Prank[/U]
Purpose-To embarrass a friend or foe
Hypothesis-I think that by tickling the subject while having shaving cream on it's face, it will be funny as hell.
Materials-Feather, some sort of foamy cream
Procedure- Place the foamy cream on the subjects face, very quietly, preferably while the subject is asleep, or results may not come out as planned.
Then, you must tickle the subject with the feather
Data<Insert data here>


Do that one. It's overdone, but still funny, every time. :p

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]Too lazy.

Thirty minutes would be wayyyy too long. I need it so that I go undetected.[/QUOTE]
About 30 minutes/however long it takes him.

If you leave it on for like 5 minutes, it won't have much of an effect.

[QUOTE=Efilnikufesin]About 30 minutes/however long it takes him.

If you leave it on for like 5 minutes, it won't have much of an effect.[/QUOTE]

Dammit. I was hoping for like, twenty seconds :(

Kombucha, I need something so that he has no clue it's me. It's just us two, we don't have any other roommates.

When your friend is asleep make a wet spot of warm water by their legs. Then soak their hand in a bucket of warm water. This is supposed to make them wet the bed. If it works, great! If not, they'll probably wake up and figure out what you were trying to get them to do. You then point to the wet spot you made earlier and tell them it worked!

Best I could do with my intranet resource. :-/

I think I'm gonna go to bed, guys. I'll see you tomorrow.

Too much work. Thanks for trying, though.

Good night, Cain.

:lightbulb:

You, piss in a cup, then place the piss in his bed!!!

Kill 2 birds with one stone. Relieve yourself and get the dick.

[QUOTE=Dr. Jake Destructo]:lightbulb:

You, piss in a cup, then place the piss in his bed!!![/QUOTE]

Uh, Jake...

How am I supposed to explain the piss if his underwear/sleep shorts are dry?

I also don't want to know if he sleeps naked, either :hideous:

Well, you could do it if he sleeps under a thin sheet.

:lightbulb v. 2.0: Crank up the heat, if you have a thermostat in your room, then he will be forced to sleep with little cover.

This is hurting my brain cells. I'm just going to go to bed now.

Wow, my morning class is cancelled. Two days in a row = :cool: