[QUOTE=AtomShip]Ok I really liked this girl mid school year, yet she didnt really have that much of a thing for me, we grew real close over the year but I think that there is where the problem lies... She wanted to be really good friends who could talk about anything, but I wanted more. Back then I really felt that I loved this girl since shes the only girl to this day that I really cared about, I told her that I loved her a while back (it was in the midst of this stupid fight) well anyways she lead me on and it was evident, so I thought, that we should go out, so I kept pushing and she had second thoughts cause she didnt want to ruin our friendship but I was stubborn and realized a friendship would not work cause I wanted more, and to this day wanted more, well anyways she pulled a 180 decided we shouldnt go out. Of course I was pissed but I tried to keep a friendship going... that didnt work too well since once she pretty much tore me in two I stopped idolizing her being and saw her for what she really was. Over the next few months it just got worst and we had a fall out, reason being she just lied too often and was too capricious. Well she just recently went on vacation and we havent talked in say 3 months, yet I know for fact she missed out conversations etc. So recently I started regaining feelings for her, shes miles away, and I want to talk to her but I cant so I feel helpless :(. My plan is to call her up when she gets back and ask her to chill with me so we can talk things out. Any suggestions, I'm more venting and putting things in text to help sort out but any sugg. helps.[/QUOTE]

Ask her what she's been doing and stuff over the 3 months you haven't spoken, say you've missed her being around - it will always lead into longer conversation.
Try not to refer to the past very much, though, 'cause it'll make her think you haven't changed at all and be drawn away from you.

Just keep it cool :cool:

My own little dilemma :p Anyone ever have home-wrecking thoughts? It makes me feel so guilty.. This girl in my course is gorgeous, fun, cutest thing alive I think, bar-none. Only, naturally, she's spoken for. I can't help but picture myself being with her, but then I remember she's attached and I'm disgusted in myself.. Not much of a problem that needs advice really, just wondering if other people ever feel like this. I haven't made a pass on her or anything, but yeah.. Anyone share a similar experience?

[QUOTE=Simon__Thats_All]My own little dilemma :p Anyone ever have home-wrecking thoughts? It makes me feel so guilty.. This girl in my course is gorgeous, fun, cutest thing alive I think, bar-none. Only, naturally, she's spoken for. I can't help but picture myself being with her, but then I remember she's attached and I'm disgusted in myself.. Not much of a problem that needs advice really, just wondering if other people ever feel like this. I haven't made a pass on her or anything, but yeah.. Anyone share a similar experience?[/QUOTE]

Been there, done that. I thought her and her boyfriend were having more trouble than they were, though, and when I realized they weren't I immediately backed off. I'm now better friends with the girl's BF than with her.

I imagine you know not to try and break it up.

oh yeah! I'm no home-wrecker, like I said, I'm disgusted in myself for even thinking about it. But yeah.. Maybe I should be-friend the boyfriend..

[QUOTE=Simon__Thats_All]My own little dilemma :p Anyone ever have home-wrecking thoughts? It makes me feel so guilty.. This girl in my course is gorgeous, fun, cutest thing alive I think, bar-none. Only, naturally, she's spoken for. I can't help but picture myself being with her, but then I remember she's attached and I'm disgusted in myself.. Not much of a problem that needs advice really, just wondering if other people ever feel like this. I haven't made a pass on her or anything, but yeah.. Anyone share a similar experience?[/QUOTE]

No girl is the greatest girl in the world. Get over it. You'll find a new crush in a few weeks. Always happens. If it doesn't, ummm, kill her boyfriend or something.

[QUOTE=Simon__Thats_All]My own little dilemma :p Anyone ever have home-wrecking thoughts? It makes me feel so guilty.. This girl in my course is gorgeous, fun, cutest thing alive I think, bar-none. Only, naturally, she's spoken for. I can't help but picture myself being with her, but then I remember she's attached and I'm disgusted in myself.. Not much of a problem that needs advice really, just wondering if other people ever feel like this. I haven't made a pass on her or anything, but yeah.. Anyone share a similar experience?[/QUOTE]
been there... dont try it... she'll find out and hate you

Haha, I don't think you guys understand, I was never intending on doing anything about it. And as for "no girl being the greatest girl in the world" I beg to differ. There has to be one.. Besides, I only said she was the cutest thing alive, not the greatest girl in the world. The thing that mostly irritates me is I don't [i]want[/i] to like her. I don't want to like anyone! I'm quite happy being single and being perverted when I'm drunk and not have to worry about a significant other. Oh well, she's away for a while so I'll be fine :thumb:

[QUOTE=Simon__Thats_All]oh yeah! I'm no home-wrecker, like I said, I'm disgusted in myself for even thinking about it. But yeah.. Maybe I should be-friend the boyfriend..[/QUOTE]

Yeah man, I've found that guys attracted to a girl usually get along really well. Almost all of my friends have been interested in the girls I've dated/crushed on at one point or another.

[QUOTE=Simon__Thats_All]The thing that mostly irritates me is I don't [i]want[/i] to like her.[/QUOTE]

Meh whatever. I have been here before though. It sucks.

[QUOTE=AmericanWeiner]Yeah man, I've found that guys attracted to a girl usually get along really well. Almost all of my friends have been interested in the girls I've dated/crushed on at one point or another.[/QUOTE]

Yah, Ive been in that situation before. I ended up liking 2 of the same guys my friend had dating months (in one case years) after they had broken up and it didnt go over well.

I feel not-so-great about it now, as I dated both of them and it caused a lot of problems with my friend. Both relationships (one in particular) ended in bad, bad ways so it wasnt worth it.

That is all long over and done with though. Me and my friend are still really close but it was never worth it in the first place.

Stick to your friends. Girls/Boys come along everyday but if you can find a really good friend - leave it at that as they dont come around that often.

The lamest thing happened to me at work. I was taking an this (hot) chick's order and whatever, and the whole time she was flirting with me, then she came back for Ketchup, Salt, etc., and she just flat out said "You're a hottie". I can honestly say, I have been on this earth for 17 years, and nobody has said anything remotly close to that. I had no clue what to say, She ate at the patio. and my co workers told me to get her digits, but I didn't, and when I decided I should, and went to take a break, about 15 customers in a row came to my window, then by the time i killed the line I went to take my break, and someone else was on break, then I got another line, by the time I took my break, she was gone.

I beat myself up about it the rest of the shift. I've always been a shy person around new people, but when Someone says something like that, I dunno, it's unacceptable, I had it in the bag, I could've gotten her number, her AIM, or at least a myspace (She looked about 23, so maybe she didn't have one) But I didn't even get a name, at least she knows mine tho (My name tag says "Matt?" and people are fascinated with the question mark on my nametag) The nightshift (My bretheren, I only do days once or twice a week tops) reassured me, and told her that if she's interested, she'll come back, but basically they said if she does come back, I better do something.

I dunno what's wrong with me, why im so scared of new people. I don't even know why i'd be scared, i mean, it's so simple, if someone says you're "a hottie" and you ask for their phone number, they aren't going to say no. I don't know why i'm scared. Am I scared of rejection, if so, where does that come from, Is it a gene thing. I just don't know. I've never had practice with this. I only have had about 3 Girlfriends, and none of them were serious, and they were all pretty short. Plus i'm still a virgin, so that sucks.

I dunno, if anyone at one time was like this, please tell me what to do, because it's been bugging me since it happened, and I just don't know what to do.

[/longpost][/whine]

You sound like me.

I have social anxiety disorder. Ever considered that you might have it?

[QUOTE=Flowbee Bryant]The lamest thing happened to me at work. I was taking an this (hot) chick's order and whatever, and the whole time she was flirting with me, then she came back for Ketchup, Salt, etc., and she just flat out said "You're a hottie". I can honestly say, I have been on this earth for 17 years, and nobody has said anything remotly close to that. I had no clue what to say, She ate at the patio. and my co workers told me to get her digits, but I didn't, and when I decided I should, and went to take a break, about 15 customers in a row came to my window, then by the time i killed the line I went to take my break, and someone else was on break, then I got another line, by the time I took my break, she was gone.

I beat myself up about it the rest of the shift. I've always been a shy person around new people, but when Someone says something like that, I dunno, it's unacceptable, I had it in the bag, I could've gotten her number, her AIM, or at least a myspace (She looked about 23, so maybe she didn't have one) But I didn't even get a name, at least she knows mine tho (My name tag says "Matt?" and people are fascinated with the question mark on my nametag) The nightshift (My bretheren, I only do days once or twice a week tops) reassured me, and told her that if she's interested, she'll come back, but basically they said if she does come back, I better do something.

I dunno what's wrong with me, why im so scared of new people. I don't even know why i'd be scared, i mean, it's so simple, if someone says you're "a hottie" and you ask for their phone number, they aren't going to say no. I don't know why i'm scared. Am I scared of rejection, if so, where does that come from, Is it a gene thing. I just don't know. I've never had practice with this. I only have had about 3 Girlfriends, and none of them were serious, and they were all pretty short. Plus i'm still a virgin, so that sucks.

I dunno, if anyone at one time was like this, please tell me what to do, because it's been bugging me since it happened, and I just don't know what to do.

[/longpost][/whine][/QUOTE]


Sometimes I find that it's best just to let those moments happen. It happens to me a lot, and I never ever chase em up. Why? Well, I dunno. It happens a lot when I am either on my way to get lunch, or downstairs in front of my building having a smoke. Not like I'm some hottie or whatever the hell you said, but I love when it happens and it just happens. It's good for the ego, and if you chase every one up, you'll find that the moment is ruined if you don't let some of those go.

A deep intense look shared.. even a smile that is one of those 30 second locks in which you gaze at each other as you walk by.. Those moments are better left unattended to in my opinion.

Bottom line is this.. If it happened once, it will happen again. Don't feel like you did something wrong for just appreciating the moment and not running like a desperate fool..

It's not uncommon to be shy. I'm fine flirting and just being an idiot, but as soon as it goes past the flirting stranger stage I tend to suck. In all honesty I probably wouldn't have gone over and asked for her number either, especially if she was that much older than me.. It does get better with age though, I think. I was much worse when I was 17 than I am now. Also, fear of rejection is normal. It's not a gene thing, it's a human thing. Nobody wants to be rejected, 'cause rejection sucks, but someday you've got to learn to take that risk or you'll live to regret them, and in my honest opinion a rejection and a little shame is much better than regret.

[QUOTE=Flowbee Bryant]The lamest thing happened to me at work. I was taking an this (hot) chick's order and whatever, and the whole time she was flirting with me, then she came back for Ketchup, Salt, etc., and she just flat out said "You're a hottie". I can honestly say, I have been on this earth for 17 years, and nobody has said anything remotly close to that. I had no clue what to say, She ate at the patio. and my co workers told me to get her digits, but I didn't, and when I decided I should, and went to take a break, about 15 customers in a row came to my window, then by the time i killed the line I went to take my break, and someone else was on break, then I got another line, by the time I took my break, she was gone.

I beat myself up about it the rest of the shift. I've always been a shy person around new people, but when Someone says something like that, I dunno, it's unacceptable, I had it in the bag, I could've gotten her number, her AIM, or at least a myspace (She looked about 23, so maybe she didn't have one) But I didn't even get a name, at least she knows mine tho (My name tag says "Matt?" and people are fascinated with the question mark on my nametag) The nightshift (My bretheren, I only do days once or twice a week tops) reassured me, and told her that if she's interested, she'll come back, but basically they said if she does come back, I better do something.

I dunno what's wrong with me, why im so scared of new people. I don't even know why i'd be scared, i mean, it's so simple, if someone says you're "a hottie" and you ask for their phone number, they aren't going to say no. I don't know why i'm scared. Am I scared of rejection, if so, where does that come from, Is it a gene thing. I just don't know. I've never had practice with this. I only have had about 3 Girlfriends, and none of them were serious, and they were all pretty short. Plus i'm still a virgin, so that sucks.

I dunno, if anyone at one time was like this, please tell me what to do, because it's been bugging me since it happened, and I just don't know what to do.

[/longpost][/whine][/QUOTE]

Well, being scared of new people is pretty common. And also because of the fact you were caught off guard than that also adds to the stunned/delayed factor of things.

I mean, Im the most chillin person ever and when (before i had a serious bf) if people even made a comment about me in a nice way, i was speechless for a bit. So i think, in most cases, what happened with you is normal.

And theres nothing wrong with you being a virgin. So, dont sweat it.

Big difference between being shy and having social anxiety. He sounds like he has the same issues that I have and if he does he needs to get some help for it. I'd hope it's just a typical shyness thing but given his relationship history I can definitely associate.

Well he is only 17. 3 non-serious girlfriends at 17 isn't too bad.

[QUOTE=SubtleDagger]You sound like me.

I have social anxiety disorder. Ever considered that you might have it?[/QUOTE]


I have to.

It took me 2 weeks to talk to anyone at my work.

It takes me about a month to open up to someone

I just get nervous around new people, I don't talk, I give ****ty handshakes, and I don't make eye contact. Sometimes i think i'm crazy, but yeah, My mom has something along the lines of Social Anxiety, so i believe I do. And the thing that sucks is i have ADHD too, so when I start to talk to people, they usually don't care for me because I'm hyper, and Sarcastic. I make horrible first impressions, but usually after about 2 months, I grow on people, I remember 3 people going to my boss and complaining about me, but they have all told me in the past weekmthat I have completely grown on them and they've done a 180 on their opinion of me. I dunno, I think Dboon made a good point. It fed my ego a little bit, I mean, I've never been told anything close to me being anything other than average looking or slightly homely. So I guess I just had to let it sink in for a minute. That's kind of a big deal for me. I mean, the closest I've come to that is having one of my mom's coworkers call me [i]"Handsome"[/i] So I was almost like "Uhh... Okay... Is this a joke?" I guess there was a lot I could've done, but I can't change time, but that said, It's going to bug me for days no matter what. but i'll get over it..... Unless she comes back. Then i'd have to (Unless she shows up with some huge buff dude who could kick my *** :smoke: )

Well, even more than that is the typical frustration at not being able to overcome your anxiety around strangers even though you want to. That's a dead ringer for social anxiety.

[QUOTE=Flowbee Bryant]but i'll get over it..... Unless she comes back. Then i'd have to (Unless she shows up with some huge buff dude who could kick my *** :smoke: )[/QUOTE]
Haha, in that case, shrug it off and be happy with the knowledge that whilst she may be with some big buff dude, she still thinks you're a hottie, therefore you rock just as hard as he does!

[QUOTE=Flowbee Bryant]I have to.

It took me 2 weeks to talk to anyone at my work.

It takes me about a month to open up to someone

I just get nervous around new people, I don't talk, I give ****ty handshakes, and I don't make eye contact. Sometimes i think i'm crazy, but yeah, My mom has something along the lines of Social Anxiety, so i believe I do. And the thing that sucks is i have ADHD too, so when I start to talk to people, they usually don't care for me because I'm hyper, and Sarcastic. I make horrible first impressions, but usually after about 2 months, I grow on people, I remember 3 people going to my boss and complaining about me, but they have all told me in the past weekmthat I have completely grown on them and they've done a 180 on their opinion of me. I dunno, I think Dboon made a good point. It fed my ego a little bit, I mean, I've never been told anything close to me being anything other than average looking or slightly homely. So I guess I just had to let it sink in for a minute. That's kind of a big deal for me. I mean, the closest I've come to that is having one of my mom's coworkers call me [i]"Handsome"[/i] So I was almost like "Uhh... Okay... Is this a joke?" I guess there was a lot I could've done, but I can't change time, but that said, It's going to bug me for days no matter what. but i'll get over it..... Unless she comes back. Then i'd have to (Unless she shows up with some huge buff dude who could kick my *** :smoke: )[/QUOTE]
Yep, that sounds exactly like it.

Quite honestly, my advice is to see a psychiatrist. It sucks, but antidepressants DO get you off the anxious feeling. I couldn't do it myself because it was just too weird for me to correct a chemical imbalance with a pill, but if you want help for it that's what I suggest you do.

Trust me though, you don't want to end up like I have, it only got worse for me over the years and I'm extremely messed up in most social situations, even with people I know. So consider it.

To Simon,

When I say I saw her for who she really was I meant it like this:

I like put her up to a standard far greater than she was, I was in total puppylove-denial and wanted her to be all that she couldnt possible live up to. After she knocked me down (after a good amount of teasing and leading by her) I looked at her from a new perspective. Shes sheltered, always has been and prolly always will be. Shes the kind of girl that wants people to think good thoughts about her and wants to be in good terms with everyone. Shes never had to work hard for anything in her life and now thinks shes being treated like a baby by most people and wants to be treated more like an adult so shes trying to break this shell yet I guess its hard for her. Unlike me I was never sheltered, my parents let me make a lot of my own decisions when I was little and they had me learn the hard lessons early so in sense I'm more mature than she is yet in another sense I'm still just a young boy, teenage drama she always called it. I want to move forward with her, not dwell on the past and make ammends cause who knows, maybe she'll grow up? Shes on vacation in a distant country (europe pssh) and I kinda worry what she'll do while there, lots of guys find themselves getting pulled into her "aura" and shes very capricious.

Haha for the sake of irony I bet one of you lads would end up screwin her and have a thread like "Man I just screwed this American chick!" wow thatd suck :(

Wanna hear something stupid?

My friend's girlfriend of seven months asked him if they could take a break for awhile.
When he asked why, she told him it was because there was another guy she sorta liked and he liked her back, and she didn't want any limits on what she could do with him.
But then she told him it was only a break, and that they would get back together.:rolleyes:

Wow thats one dumb hoe.

[QUOTE=Tillius]Wanna hear something stupid?

My friend's girlfriend of seven months asked him if they could take a break for awhile.
When he asked why, she told him it was because there was another guy she sorta liked and he liked her back, and she didn't want any limits on what she could do with him.
But then she told him it was only a break, and that they would get back together.:rolleyes:[/QUOTE]
:eek: x a million

I hope he finished with her.

He did.

But still got all depressed.

But being the good friend that I am, I cheered him up.

Sucked him off...

[QUOTE=Tillius]He did.

But still got all depressed.

But being the good friend that I am, I cheered him up.[/QUOTE]
:) at least he saw her for what she was. Props to him.

Someone comfort me and my problems :(.

[QUOTE=AtomShip]Someone comfort me and my problems :(.[/QUOTE]

Just don't think about her so much. There's more to life than teenage girls.

Well I figured that much, its easier said than done :(

Yea I know man, but it's the only thing you can attempt to do I'm afraid. Try hanging out with some of your guy friends for a change to get her off your mind.

I'm assuming that she is the flirty type.

Once again, my process for getting through such a phase:

1. Get some Tarantino movies, pizza, and booze.
2. Invite friends over.
3. Spend the night being unabashedly male.

Man, I should patent this. I'd really clean up.

[QUOTE=Steerpike]Once again, my process for getting through such a phase:

1. Get some Tarantino movies, pizza, and booze.
2. Invite friends over.
3. Spend the night being unabashedly male.

Man, I should patent this. I'd really clean up.[/QUOTE]

You need to make t-shirts with that advice on it.

[QUOTE=Steerpike]Once again, my process for getting through such a phase:

1. Get some Tarantino movies, pizza, and booze.
2. Invite friends over.
3. Spend the night being unabashedly male.

Man, I should patent this. I'd really clean up.[/QUOTE]

"Don't you know that it's different for girls."

/Joe Jackson

[QUOTE=nobodyblossomsforever]You need to make t-shirts with that advice on it.[/QUOTE]

I think I will.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]"Don't you know that it's different for girls."

/Joe Jackson[/QUOTE]

Since when have I ever spoken for anyone but my fellow males? Don't answer that.

[QUOTE=Steerpike]Since when have I ever spoken for anyone but my fellow males? Don't answer that.[/QUOTE]

I know it.

Good to see you. :)

I've been busy. My posting all over the boards has been slacking off.

But coming back here gave me the idea that I should make a short movie featuring my 3-Step Pint Phase Plan. And that I should make a T-shirt out of it.

[QUOTE=Tillius]Wanna hear something stupid?

My friend's girlfriend of seven months asked him if they could take a break for awhile.
When he asked why, she told him it was because there was another guy she sorta liked and he liked her back, and she didn't want any limits on what she could do with him.
But then she told him it was only a break, and that they would get back together.:rolleyes:[/QUOTE]

thats freakin ghetto

Can I use this thread to brag about how well my relationship is going?