[QUOTE=BridgeToSolace;13384089]I could probably comment, but I learned a long time ago that people have already made up their minds about how they're going to handle this kind of situation, and are either looking for justification for that decision, or are open to hearing new ideas, despite having no real intentions to follow them.

Plus, people don't really give you the full story so whatever you say you just get back "No, because she reall said blah blah blah" or "No, they're not like that"

It's hard to add to something that you have a very limited perspective on.

But, oh well. Jom, you're an awesome dude who shouldn't have to deal with **** from no woman. Drama is very rarely worth the emotional ache. Do what's best for Jom, because what's best for Jom is what's best for everyone else.[/QUOTE]

That's very true.

Who wants to justify me completely introverting myself again because I'm tired of people?

That last is the best. Jom>everyone else.

[QUOTE=Jom;13384098]Well, she trusts in me enough to:

a) not go to others about her subjects of her rants
b) talk to me about her deepest, darkest stories and not judge her for it

But, I don't really do the same, because there have been more than a couple instances where things I said that were SUPPOSED to remain in confidence wound up not being kept in confidence, so I like how it's a one-way street where I don't go spouting off about the things she tells me, but she's done that for me on more than one instance. So, she entrusts a lot in me, but I sincerely doubt her allegiance is with me after those mishaps.[/QUOTE]
You know, I used to think that was more special, but, to be honest, it's not. There are two types of girls, those that share everything, and those that share nothing, and you will have their total trust or lack thereof in a few days. ANd it's not hard to get. Sad but true :-\

But expecting equal relationships is so antiquated dear Jom, just expect women to screw you over and it will hurt less.

when i was little they said girls were "sugar and spice and everything nice"

oh how they lied :upset:

[QUOTE=yourstruly;13384086]I came back home for the first time in like a month a while ago and my Ex girlfriend saw me and tried to talk to me, I just walked away and didn't even look at her. Was that harsh?[/QUOTE]

Immature might be a better adjective. You didn't even offer a 'Hey, what's up?'

That was kind of low. But then again, I don't know your situation. But you could have at least muttered a 'Hi,' even if it was insincere.

[quote=Bridge]I could probably comment, but I learned a long time ago that people have already made up their minds about how they're going to handle this kind of situation, and are either looking for justification for that decision, or are open to hearing new ideas, despite having no real intentions to follow them.

Plus, people don't really give you the full story so whatever you say you just get back "No, because she reall said blah blah blah" or "No, they're not like that"

It's hard to add to something that you have a very limited perspective on.[/quote]

I don't follow - are you talking about my story? Yes, I haven't told all of the details, because I would be here all night drawing diagrams and explaining why I'm cool with only the one girl, and why two of them are failures at human beings, while the fourth girl I am completely neutral with because I have never had a conversation with her in my life, but is easily swayed by her closer friends, which puts me at a disadvantage in the first place. That, and I don't really care.

Disregard the above paragraph if you're not talking to me, heh. I do agree with what you said, I just don't understand if you're talking to me directly, heh.

[quote]But, oh well. Jom, you're an awesome dude who shouldn't have to deal with **** from no woman. Drama is very rarely worth the emotional ache. Do what's best for Jom, because what's best for Jom is what's best for everyone else.[/quote]

Well, dealing with shi[font=verdana]t[/font] is part of the natural course of life. I was just dealt a bad hand with the girls back home, but pretty soon I'm going to cut ties with all but the one girl, but if she keeps being petty with me, then it won't mean much.

Well, let me re-phrase that. Losing her as a friend would kill me because I think about all the good conversations we've had and how she wrote to me while I was at school saying, 'It makes me sad that I only just realized after you went back to school how good of a friend you are,' but then her doing a complete freakin' 180 because she looks into the things I write thinking they're about her when they're not.

Miscommunications are absolutely retarded when it comes to girls. And when you try to explain the situation, you make them look stupid because of them jumping the gun on you, which pisses them off for being exposed as being crazy for no reason.

[quote]yeah. you are disrupting her denial. and so she probably just wants you to be the kind of friend that listens to and supports her and [b][u]validates her denial[/b][/u]. i've known plenty of people like that. they are hard to be honest with and many times can't take real honesty. and they also like to tell you what is what. your journal, for instance. shes trying to tell you what you are saying about her, even if what you say has nothing to do with her. very insecure and a litte disrespectful toward you, i would say.[/quote]

Ooh, good way of putting it (the bolded/underlined part).

And I wouldn't really say it's disrespectful, but the thing is is that she's trying to take the things I write and spin them thinking that they apply to her.

In the process, she completely distorts and twists those things around, so when I snap her out of it, she gets all bitter because I left her out to dry by telling her that she's got nothing to do with the things I say.

[quote]That's very true.

Who wants to justify me completely introverting myself again because I'm tired of people?

That last is the best. Jom>everyone else.[/quote]

Heh, not really, but thanks.

It is amusing, though, that I wrote her a letter in the post saying that I felt like I existed in four different worlds: me at uni, me with my family, me at work, and me with my friends. But then I realized that I'm the same person in each 'realm,' but that it's only with those four girls that I'm not seen as the hard-working, friendly, charismatic Jom but as a monster or whatever it is I've been labeled. It's not that I forgot, I just don't care about what that one girl I had a huge falling out with especially has said, because it just doesn't matter. I have a lot of girl friends here at school, so it seems like in the summers all I have to do is just stay back with my family and go to work and then jam with my co-workers, and that be the end of it, especially if things turn the unfortunate route and I stop talking to my closest girl friend because she elects to continue to stir the pot when there's nothing to be stirred.

I don't get it. She rarely does that, so hopefully this is just a it's-her-time-of-the-month thing and that she'll get over it soon enough.

Whatever, though, man. I'm not initiating jack with her until she wants to talk to me first. Every time I talk to her and start asking the tough questions, she gets all defensive and avoidant and when I point that out she gets all blahblahblah at me. So, heh.

[quote]You know, I used to think that was more special, but, to be honest, it's not. There are two types of girls, those that share everything, and those that share nothing, and you will have their total trust or lack thereof in a few days. ANd it's not hard to get. Sad but true :-\[/quote]

Meh, yeah, true.

[quote]But expecting equal relationships is so antiquated dear Jom, just expect women to screw you over and it will hurt less.[/quote]

But see, it's in my nature as a friend to treat people with the respect that they deserve, even if they deserve none at all. With this girl, she is my closest girl friend, so I will play whatever role she needs me to be so she's comfortable with coming to me about whatever.

But yeah, I guess it's ignorant of me to assume that the Golden Rule is a valid rule in this world, because I deserve better than what I have been getting.

But it's just not in my nature to stop giving a rip about people, even when they turn heel and get all antagonistic and pissy.

Well everyone is different in different environments. people are the products of their environment. I'm different online, at uni, at home, in band, at karate class, etc... That's natural. I'm pretty sure you online folk actually know the closest to what is the real me, sadly.

But that's how human nature is.

But be aware that if you stop talking to her, she may follow in turn.

[QUOTE=Permanent Solution;13384180]Well everyone is different in different environments. people are the products of their environment. I'm different online, at uni, at home, in band, at karate class, etc... That's natural. I'm pretty sure you online folk actually know the closest to what is the real me, sadly.

But that's how human nature is.[/quote]

Right, yes, I understand that and agree whole-heartedly from [especially] a social-cognitive and Neo-Freudian perspective. The point I was trying to make is that I thought I was perceived by others differently in different environments, but when I thought about it a bit, I'm perceived the exact same way by everybody save for those four girls and their drama club.

[quote]But be aware that if you stop talking to her, she may follow in turn.[/QUOTE]

See, one of the battles I have to think about.

I want to think I'm overanalyzing this and think that we just caught each other at a bad time, but I abhor this sudden trend of when I initiate anything with her something adverse happens, but whenever she initiates stuff with me so she can rant about her life, that there never is any fighting. So, the whole ignoring-my-e-mails thing, claiming that she wanted to talk to me online (but then turn around and say nothing was new with her) was just bullshi[font=verdana]t[/font]. So, yeah, it would suck terribly to lose her as a friend, but she obviously does not understand reciprocity, so it might be beneficial for both of us if we just gave each other the proverbial 'Have a nice life' shtick and never speak again.

So, whatever. That's the only position I'm taking an absolute stand on at this point is that her lack of willingness to talk to me unless she needs to rant thing is growing tiresome because any other conversation involves her being distant/avoidant or wanting to pick a fight (and then lose it, but due to her stubbornness, refuses to acknowledge it).

Really? That's pretty impressive, I'm pretty sure everyone perceives me pretty differently, even amongst just the online folk.

Meh, don't give up so fast...you're both still emotionally involved. Just chill out a bit, maybe stop talking for awhile and then just come back and be like "look, us not talking is silly, lets just move on" worth a try at least.

Well, the last argument we had, we were supposedly cool with each other, but when I asked if we were, she didn't respond. So, meh. The more I wonder about it, the less I care, which isn't a good thing because I care a lot about people. But it seems like we hit a bump in the friendship road all too often, in that we never really progress as mutual friends, but more like acquaintances where I'm the listening ear. So, it's pretty backwards for her to be so wishy-washy in how she sees me. What am I, some dude she's known for a couple years that she can talk to about whatever, or her friend, or some shmuck of an acquaintance, or what? It's frustrating because she changes her mind all too often, and it's too much of a burden to worry/think about.

Well, she [i]is[/i] female.

Wow, long posts are hard to read.

Woah, long posts in PP.

Nick..Why are you always up at like..5????

So I have time for internets and my hair to dry.

hahaha, screw that. I'd rather sleep.

Sleep is for the week. Zoning out is where it's at.

Jom always has the longest posts. :lol:

I love Jom. <3

Sup, thread?

-Gav

Sup Gav, howstha karot?

[QUOTE=I0Play0Bass;13385609]Jom always has the longest posts. :lol:

I love Jom. <3

Sup, thread?

-Gav[/QUOTE]

Hi, sexy.

How's life been treating you?
Any updates on the condition of your accident?

[QUOTE=-Nath-;13385631]Sup Gav, howstha karot?[/QUOTE]

The karot is delicious. Look how it's stuffed in my cheek. It's amazing.

[QUOTE=Jom;13385633]Hi, sexy.

How's life been treating you?
Any updates on the condition of your accident?[/QUOTE]

Life's not bad. You?

My wrist doesn't hurt anymore to use normally. However, I tried playing guitar and immediately, I felt a searing, burning, deep pain shoot around my entire wrist and my fingers were extremely weak. Even if I tried to play through the pain, my fingers wouldn't be nearly strong enough to fret the notes.

I'm getting very worried. Before, never playing again was a distant possibility; now, it's very very real and very [i]very[/i] in my face and on my mind.

I start physical therapy in two more weeks.

-Gav

[QUOTE=I0Play0Bass;13385679]Life's not bad. You?[/quote]

Life is good, yeah. Pretty ridiculously busy, but it's not bad.

[quote]My wrist doesn't hurt anymore to use normally. However, I tried playing guitar and immediately, I felt a searing, burning, deep pain shoot around my entire wrist and my fingers were extremely weak. Even if I tried to play through the pain, my fingers wouldn't be nearly strong enough to fret the notes.

I'm getting very worried. Before, never playing again was a distant possibility; now, it's very very real and very [i]very[/i] in my face and on my mind.[/quote]

That's because you're rushing it. You're going to jeopardize yourself if you try to 'play through the pain.' Next time you go home, you should consider taking your stuff back home and not playing ANYTHING until you start your therapy and training. It will minimalize any urges you have to pick it up and play, but I worry that one day you're going to start playing, think nothing's up, but then give yourself a huge setback and render any chance of you playing again improbable.

You will feel really guilty if that happens because you knew it was wrong, and that will drive you to being hella depressed, and there's a zero-tolerance sad panda policy enforced, dammit :mad::)

[quote]I start physical therapy in two more weeks.[/quote]

Well, good on you. Don't play any of your instruments at all until you're en route in therapy. I know it's going to be tough, but you're going to have to persevere or else you might set yourself back in the timetable and that'll make you feel even worse.

[quote]-Gav[/QUOTE]

-Jom

[QUOTE=I0Play0Bass;13385679]The karot is delicious. Look how it's stuffed in my cheek. It's amazing.[/QUOTE]
Looks like something the girls do with certain male appendages...

Like when they lick ur fingers :lawl:

Gav: Like Jom said, refrain from playing until you finish PT. PT will heal you the way you need to be healed, if you try to play before that, you're just likely to mess things up further. PTs know what they are doing, so trust them and aid them by not doing anything else.

Rain, rain, rain.

Agian.

I still wish we were getting rain here.

[QUOTE=Jom;13385719]Life is good, yeah. Pretty ridiculously busy, but it's not bad.[/quote]

Yeah, same here. My courses are really taking a huge chunk out of my social life, but c'est la vie of college.

[quote=Jom]That's because you're rushing it. You're going to jeopardize yourself if you try to 'play through the pain.' Next time you go home, you should consider taking your stuff back home and not playing ANYTHING until you start your therapy and training. It will minimalize any urges you have to pick it up and play, but I worry that one day you're going to start playing, think nothing's up, but then give yourself a huge setback and render any chance of you playing again improbable.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I know. I wouldn't ever do that. As soon as I felt the burning sensation, I stopped.

That's actually a good idea. Perhaps I should do that (leaving stuff at home).

Yeah, I'm waiting until I'm 110%.

[quote=Jom]You will feel really guilty if that happens because you knew it was wrong, and that will drive you to being hella depressed, and there's a zero-tolerance sad panda policy enforced, dammit :mad::)[/QUOTE]

Hahahhaa, a zer-tolerance sad panda policy. Sweet.

My main goal right now is to fully heal before I consider playing my instrument again. For now, I'm just doing vocals. I actually have a show here. I wanted to play guitar and sing but I can't so I'm working with this kid Jamie. He's playing guitar and I'm doing my vocals. We're doing some original songs I wrote and some covers. He has no originals yet but if he writes a few before the show, I'd gladly sing them with him.

[quote=Jom]Well, good on you. Don't play any of your instruments at all until you're en route in therapy. I know it's going to be tough, but you're going to have to persevere or else you might set yourself back in the timetable and that'll make you feel even worse.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, my guitar's in its stand and my bass is in its gig bag so temptation is low. Out of sight, out of mind. :cool:

[quote=Jom]-Jom[/QUOTE]

I rofl'd at this...a lot.

[QUOTE=-Nath-;13385726]Looks like something the girls do with certain male appendages...

Like when they lick ur fingers :lawl:[/QUOTE]

lawl...damn rite

[QUOTE=Permanent Solution;13386111]Gav: Like Jom said, refrain from playing until you finish PT. PT will heal you the way you need to be healed, if you try to play before that, you're just likely to mess things up further. PTs know what they are doing, so trust them and aid them by not doing anything else.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, exactly.

The PT person is really cool and she said she'd have me back playing guitar ASAP so I can't wait.

-Gav

Bah, i was gonna buy a new bass next week, now i wont be able to till march.

This month my money is going on paying my money to go to berlin.
Next month money will be needed for the london trip and christmas
MOnth after is my birthday, so i will want money to go out/whatever.
Month after i go to berlin, and will need my money there.
Then its march.

we major?

yeah homie, we major.

Yes I'm only a bill.

And I'm sittin' here on Capital Hill...

-Gav

^We just watched that today in US History.

[B]Boy[/B]: Woof! You sure gotta climb a lot of steps to get to this Capitol Building here in Washington. But I wonder who that sad little scrap of paper is?

[I]I'm just a bill.
Yes, I'm only a bill.
And I'm sitting here on Capitol Hill.
Well, it's a long, long journey
To the capital city.
It's a long, long wait
While I'm sitting in committee,
But I know I'll be a law someday
At least I hope and pray that I will,
But today I am still just a bill.[/I]

[B]Boy[/B]: Gee, Bill, you certainly have a lot of patience and courage.

[B]Bill[/B]: Well I got this far. When I started, I wasn't even a bill, I was just an idea. Some folks back home decided they wanted a law passed, so they called their local Congressman and he said, "You're right, there oughta be a law." Then he sat down and wrote me out and introduced me to Congress. And I became a bill, and I'll remain a bill until they decide to make me a law.

[I]I'm just a bill
Yes I'm only a bill,
And I got as far as Capitol Hill.
Well, now I'm stuck in committee
And I'll sit here and wait
While a few key Congressmen discuss and debate
Whether they should let me be a law.
How I hope and pray that they will,
But today I am still just a bill.[/I]

[B]Boy[/B]: Listen to those congressmen arguing! Is all that discussion and debate about you?

[B]Bill[/B]: Yeah, I'm one of the lucky ones. Most bills never even get this far. I hope they decide to report on me favourably, otherwise I may die.

[B]Boy[/B]: Die?

[B]Bill[/B]: Yeah, die in committee. Oooh, but it looks like I'm gonna live! Now I go to the House of Representatives, and they vote on me.

[B]Boy[/B]: If they vote yes, what happens?

[B]Bill[/B]: Then I go to the Senate and the whole thing starts all over again.

[B]Boy[/B]: Oh no!

[B]Bill[/B]: Oh yes!

[I]I'm just a bill
Yes, I'm only a bill
And if they vote for me on Capitol Hill
Well, then I'm off to the White House
Where I'll wait in a line
With a lot of other bills
For the president to sign
And if he signs me, then I'll be a law.
How I hope and pray that he will,
But today I am still just a bill.[/I]

[B]Boy[/B]: You mean even if the whole Congress says you should be a law, the president can still say no?

[B]Bill[/B]: Yes, that's called a veto. If the President vetoes me, I have to go back to Congress and they vote on me again, and by that time you're so old...

[B]Boy[/B]: By that time it's very unlikely that you'll become a law. It's not easy to become a law, is it?
[B]
Bill[/B]: No!

[I]But how I hope and I pray that I will,
But today I am still just a bill.[/I]

[B]Congressman[/B]: He signed you, Bill! Now you're a law!

[B]Bill[/B]: Oh yes!!!