[quote=muthafunkabass;17406980]Unless you want to accumulate a long list of examples of Spaceman Spiff's acts of corruption and depredation, this letter may become a bit monotonous. However, I certainly do hope you read it all the way through because there is no possible justification for the argument that if Spiff kicks us in the teeth we'll then lick his toes and beg for another kick. For starters, Spiff seems unable to think of turns of speech that aren't hackneyed. What really grates on my nerves, however, is that his prose consists less of words chosen for the sake of their meaning than of phrases tacked together like the sections of a prefabricated henhouse. We have a choice. Either we let ourselves be led like lambs to the slaughter by Spiff and his lickspittles or we raise amoral masters of deceit out of their cultural misery and lead them to the national community as a valuable, united factor. While I don't expect you to have much trouble making up your mind you should nevertheless consider that Spiff's generalizations always follow the same pattern. He puts the desired twist on the actual facts, ignores inconvenient facts, and invents as many new "facts" as necessary to convince us that querulous bigamists make the best scout leaders and schoolteachers.

Just look at the bill of fare served up in recent movies and television programs and you will hardly be able to deny that blackguardism appears to have triumphed. And that's why I'm writing this letter; this is my manifesto, if you will, on how to investigate his bad-tempered principles, ideals, and objectives. There's no way I can do that alone, and there's no way I can do it without first stating that he wants nothing less than to make us too confused, demoralized, and disunited to put up an effective opposition to his crusades. His bedfellows then wonder, "What's wrong with that?" Well, there's not much to be done with incontinent vigilantes who can't figure out what's wrong with that, but the rest of us can plainly see that Spiff has repeatedly been spotted turning bloodsuckers loose against us good citizens. When questioned about that, he either denies any knowledge of it or offers unbelievable and ludicrous explanations that only a virulent, poxy bottom-feeder could believe. I do not wish to endorse jujuism but rather to illustrate that Spiff is the embodiment of everything petty in our lives. Every grievance, every envy, every barbaric ideology finds expression in Spaceman Spiff.

At the very least, the public is like a giant that Spiff has blindfolded, drugged, and gagged. This giant has plugs in his ears and Spiff leads him around by the nose. Clearly, such a giant needs to reinforce notions of positive self-esteem. That's why I feel obligated to notify the giant (i.e., the public) that it seems clear that none of what Spiff says carries any weight. But we ought to look at the matter in a broader framework before we draw final conclusions on the subject: We see that it's best to ignore most of the quotes that Spiff so frequently cites. He takes quotes of of context; uses misleading, irrelevant, and out-of-date quotes; and, presents quotes from legitimate authorities used misleadingly to support contentions that they did not intend and that are not true. In short, empty-headed and impolitic, Spiff's slogans resemble a dilapidated shed. Kick in the door and the whole rotten structure will collapse, proving my claim that in Spiff's bons mots, Bonapartism is witting and unremitting, vulgar and insidious. He revels in it, rolls in it, and uses it to tinker about with a lot of halfway prescriptions.

Are you prepared to discuss this, Spiff? His hatchet men are unified under a common goal. That goal is to perpetuate the myth that gangsterism-oriented, villainous mouthpieces for insolent alarmism should be fêted at wine-and-cheese fund-raisers. Please forgive the following sermon, but it can't be avoided in this discussion: He might place our children at imminent risk of serious harm eventually. What are we to do then? Place blinders over our eyes and hope we don't see the horrible outcome?

If Spiff thinks that space aliens are out to lay eggs in our innards or ooze their alien hell-slime all over us then maybe he should lay off the wacky tobacky. We should note, of course, that what I've written about him doesn't prove anything in itself. It's only suggestive but it does make a good point that if you want to hide something from him, you just have to put it in a book. Since Spiff claims to know more than the rest of us, I'm sure he's aware that he will probably never understand why he scares me so much. And Spiff sincerely does scare me: His announcements are scary, his ideologies are scary, and most of all, whenever he announces that science is merely a tool invented by the current elite to maintain power, his apostles applaud on cue and the accolades are long and ostentatious. What's funny is that they don't provide similar feedback whenever I tell them that there is a format Spiff should follow for his next literary endeavor. It involves a topic sentence and supporting facts.

I aver that it is widely known and beyond dispute that I mention that in this spot because of its close connection with the item just above, even though that presupposes a dialectical intertwinement to which a phlegmatic turn of mind is impervious. What I find frightening is that some academics actually believe Spiff's line that mingy mental defectives aren't ever mawkish. In this case, "academics" refers to a stratum of the residual intelligentsia surviving the recession of its demotic base, not to those seekers of truth who understand that Spiff's hatchet jobs are destructive. They're morally destructive, socially destructive—even intellectually destructive. And, as if that weren't enough, Spiff contends that honesty and responsibility have no cash value and are therefore worthless. Excuse me, but where exactly did this little factoid come from?

Currently, Spiff lacks the clout to muddy the word "compartmentalization". But in the coming days, he will have enough serfs to silence critical debate and squelch creative brainstorming. It is easy to see faults in others. But it takes perseverance to give parents the means to protect their children. Some critics have called him bilious. A handful insist he's hypersensitive. Spiff's legates, on the other hand, consider him to be one of the great minds of this century. I heard through the grapevine that Spiff tries to assert his autonomy by attempting to push our efforts two steps backward. Whether or not this rumor is true, Spiff's mercenaries actually believe the bunkum they're always mouthing. That's because these sorts of arrogant, stingy blowhards are idealistic, have no sense of history or human nature, and they think that what they're doing will improve the world before the year is over. In reality, of course, if you were to try to tell Spiff's yes-men that his sympathizers seem to profess that Spiff can do no wrong, they'd close their eyes and put their hands over their ears. They are, as the psychologists say, in denial. They don't want to hear that Spiff focuses on feelings rather than facts. Sure, he attempts to twist and distort facts to justify his feelings but that just goes to show that Spiff's followers maintain that "profits come before people." First off, that's a lousy sentence. If they had written instead that Spiff is swinging pretty hard on some slender evidence then that quote would have had more validity. As it stands, Spiff has warned us that by the end of the decade, counter-productive scofflaws will destroy the lives of good, honest people. If you think about it, you'll realize that Spiff's warning is a self-fulfilling prophecy in the sense that if you intend to challenge someone's assertions, you need to present a counterargument. Spiff provides none.

If Spiff's plan to ridicule, parody, censor, and downgrade opposing ideas is to be discouraged then the wisest course of action is to recognize and respect the opinions, practices, and behavior of others. Before we start down that road I ought to remind you that if five years ago I had described a person like Spiff to you and told you that in five years he'd make peevish carpers out to be something they're not, you'd have thought me nugatory. You'd have laughed at me and told me it couldn't happen. So it is useful now to note that, first, it has happened and, second, to try to understand how it happened and how when I hear his torchbearers parrot the party line—that five-crystal orgone generators can eliminate mind-control energies that are being radiated from secret, underground, government facilities—I see them not as people but as machines. The appropriate noises are coming out of their larynges, but their brains are not involved as they would be if they were thinking about how I have to wonder where Spiff got the idea that it is my view that we should derive moral guidance from his glitzy, multi-culti, hip-hop, consumption-oriented demands. This sits hard with me because it is simply not true and I've never written anything to imply that it is.

By the way, it strikes me as amusing that Spiff complains about people who do nothing but complain. Well, news flash! He does nothing but complain.[/quote]

tl;dr

[QUOTE=gaslight;17407008]Look on the brightside, if Mary Magdalene was a virgin AND a prostitute, she must have packed a regal blowjob.[/QUOTE]

Quote of the day.

Someone help me find a decent torrent for the entire series of Daria. It's proving harder to find than that high-quality version of Cowboy Bebop I have.

[url]http://torrentz.com/search?q=daria[/url]

This is so much better than isohunt.

[QUOTE=gaslight;17407008]Look on the brightside, if Mary Magdalene was a virgin AND a prostitute, she must have packed a regal blowjob.[/QUOTE]

just so we're clear the virgin mary (the mother of jesus) and mary magdalene (the gf of jesus and lots of other dudes) are two very different people...

You're making the assumption they existed though.

Yeah, I'm just ret-conning the Bible a little. I'm sure they both took it like champs.

dude what a HOT conversation

I am the voice of my own god.

i was talking about how god is a murderous psychopath and id rather go to hell than worship that monstrosity and this girl i like and have been hanging out with got mad at me and said "dont talk about my savior like that"

lmfao

ITT lets all talk about how hell is gonna be

cause i mean lets face it

we're all going

speaking of that if anybody in this thread is an agnostic **** you you're a coward

agnostics go to the same place as atheists guys why not just pick a side cmon in the water is fine

I don't see how anyone is incapable of seeing that all religions are constructions born of the human mind, no god is real, there is no life after death, suck it up. The mythology of religions is fascinating reading and offers interesting insights into the pysche of the cultures that produced them, but that's it.

ITT religion gets shitcanned.

[QUOTE=gaslight;17408557]I don't see how anyone is incapable of seeing that all religions are constructions born of the human mind, no god is real, there is no life after death, suck it up. The mythology of religions is fascinating reading and offers interesting insights into the pysche of the cultures that produced them, but that's it.[/QUOTE]

gaslight, i always took you for one of those "middle of the road" pansies with no real opinions of his own, but i really enjoyed reading that. more ranting bloggy stuff plz.

do either of you aussie a[SIZE="2"]ss[/SIZE]holes have facebook?

I don't like the word blog. It paints a picture in my head of a hideous creature who lives in a swamp and communicates by farting noxious gases.

[QUOTE=funkyhoney;17408582]I don't like the word blog. It paints a picture in my head of a hideous creature who lives in a swamp and communicates by farting noxious gases.[/QUOTE]

gaslight conjures the same image in my head

Well I've never seen any photographic evidence so it's a strong possibility.

I tend to keep middle of the road in manner for the sake of co-existing with the other human beings but when it comes to things like this I have very strong opinions because to me, there's a million ways you "can" think about religious things, but really deep down everyone's gotta be able to see the obvious don't they? How humanity has clinged on to religions just sickens me. If aliens were observing Earth, they'd check us out and be like "hmm, technology is going okay I suppose, but they're very fractious... what's this? They still cling to religions their distant ancestors devised to explain things that today's average kindergarten student has a scientific grasp of? ...L Ron who? Oh, we're out of here, these people suck. Line up an asteroid. Let's check on the Europan whale project."

fyi in this country swamp monsters are called bunyips.

I was lifting tonight and training my muay thai striking techniques while watching the religion channel on satellite, and the guy was yammering on about how the bible predicts the end of the world, swine flu, mexican drug cartels...etc. and how they're all signs the world is ending.

Actually, funny enough - one of the reasons I train is because I'm so profoundly atheistic, that even if god did exist (assuming it was one of the barbaric gods of abraham ala islam judaism and christianity) i'd still tell him to **** off. physical training also helps me discipline my mind and my courage in this regard.

cause trust me, it'll take everything you have and more to tell god to suck your **** at the pearly gates.

the way i figure it

I will never worship such a monster like the god of abraham. and if the only other option is to rot in hell for eternity - well, at least i'll rot knowing i kept my soul and my integrity. god gave me my soul, and he told us that "we are like gods, and we can know good and evil like gods." yeah, i know evil - and god? you're it.

then i walk into hell

see i have the whole thing planned out cause im just cool like that

You = Kratos.

lmfao

dude god is so swoll i don't know why you bother, no amount of nO xxxplode or creatine is going to help, you think by getting all jacked he's going to let you guard the gates or something?

i'd start by doing some kind of athletic activity so at least maybe you'll have a chance of playing on lucifers softball team or something. mma training will only get you a starting spot catching on the greco roman buttsex squad

[QUOTE=Jaded;17408654]lmfao

dude god is so swoll i don't know why you bother, no amount of nO xxxplode or creatine is going to help, you think by getting all jacked he's going to let you guard the gates or something?

i'd start by doing some kind of athletic activity so at least maybe you'll have a chance of playing on lucifers softball team or something[/QUOTE]

what kind of sport do you think satan plays

i dont really take him for a sports guy to be honest i think hes more of the artsy fartsy type. and god is the jock

btw jaded the comment about training in regards to my ethereal existence is a metaphor

training requires discipline and that discipline impacts our mind, thus our souls. it toughens up our physical body, yes, but in doing so this training also strengthens our relationship to the mortal world/our celestial body

etc etc

EDIT: are you a christian or something jaded i kinda got that vibe from your earlier post

[QUOTE=gaslight;17408650]You = Kratos.[/QUOTE]

just imagine for a second how ****ed we'd be if greek mythology turned out to be the one correct theistic perspective

dont ask what jesus would do ask what zues would do

"TURN INTO A BULL AND **** IT"

fast pitch softball, every game is against eddie feigner on a steady diet of hgh

Haha man. The word "swoll" is the funniest thing I've ever heard. I think it's the blackest word around.

[QUOTE=Raayl;17408681]
EDIT: are you a christian or something jaded i kinda got that vibe from your earlier post[/QUOTE]
from a philosophical interpersonal standpoint I guess but not in the religious sense. like i believe that the second half of the bible can be an invaluable resource of collected wisdom in regards to human relationships and in most cases moral decisions, but I'm not concerned with all the metaphysics, none of that really matters imo.

[QUOTE=gaslight;17408712]Haha man. The word "swoll" is the funniest thing I've ever heard. I think it's the blackest word around.[/QUOTE]

nooooo, it's not a black word, at least not around here. it's a meathead/jock/"bro" word, often used by guineas or guidos