Ouch. Surely it can't be that bad though. Anyways, there will always be other girls. =\

I don't know for a fact that I've messed up, it's just she won't reply to any of my IM's..

[QUOTE=Junooni]I don't know for a fact that I've messed up, it's just she won't reply to any of my IM's..[/QUOTE]
Don't bug her or nothin'. Just sleep on it and talk to her some other time. If you try to hard you're going to look needy and desperate.

I figured that out, only dropped two IM's. Then I realized she's idle. :p

[QUOTE=pohl_56]She isnt worth your time and you already know that. You'll find better. confuzzled sea lion!!! i love that expression![/QUOTE]
Hah, it's the MX censoring for p[I]u[I][/I][/I]ssy

I'm struggling with jealousy and it's getting me down. I introduced my friends from school to my friends from my drama group and hockey and whatnot. Now I tend to be the socially awkward person in the group (not out of shyness, but my friends are better looking and better in social situations than me... I think I scare people off). Now there's this guy I've known for about 4 years and I guess I've always had a soft spot for him. Nothing big, but yeah. So my friend has known him for a few weeks, maybe a couple of months and now they're going out. Now I'm really happy for them because they're really good together but I just get this pang of jealousy. It's just hard.... because my friends are the ones that always get the guy. It's always been the same and I've tried to accept it, but I can't help but fell run with jealousy every single time. And little comments aswell, like I was talking to my friend Geoff on the bus:
Me: Ha Geoff you think you're such a player :P
Him: Hey it's not like I'm attracted to you, I mean you're just not attractive. I wouldn't try it on with you.

I dunno, it's like I'm just written off, not even considered. I'm just the person that you just wouldn't try it with. It really gets me down. I've tried different things to stop it, meditating, just forgetting about relationships in general etc etc I don't know what to do. I want to be happy for my friends but I just can't. It's not even the fact that I want to be in a relationship, I am just always shadowed by my friends. Whatever good qualities people see in me, it's always better in them. I'm just someone to talk to, to laugh at, the messenger, and quite frankly I'm sick to death of it.
/vent

[QUOTE=Herbert_da_fish]I'm struggling with jealousy and it's getting me down. I introduced my friends from school to my friends from my drama group and hockey and whatnot. Now I tend to be the socially awkward person in the group (not out of shyness, but my friends are better looking and better in social situations than me... I think I scare people off). Now there's this guy I've known for about 4 years and I guess I've always had a soft spot for him. Nothing big, but yeah. So my friend has known him for a few weeks, maybe a couple of months and now they're going out. Now I'm really happy for them because they're really good together but I just get this pang of jealousy. It's just hard.... because my friends are the ones that always get the guy. It's always been the same and I've tried to accept it, but I can't help but fell run with jealousy every single time. And little comments aswell, like I was talking to my friend Geoff on the bus:
Me: Ha Geoff you think you're such a player :P
[b]Him: Hey it's not like I'm attracted to you, I mean you're just not attractive. I wouldn't try it on with you.[/b]

I dunno, it's like I'm just written off, not even considered. I'm just the person that you just wouldn't try it with. It really gets me down. I've tried different things to stop it, meditating, just forgetting about relationships in general etc etc I don't know what to do. I want to be happy for my friends but I just can't. It's not even the fact that I want to be in a relationship, I am just always shadowed by my friends. Whatever good qualities people see in me, it's always better in them. I'm just someone to talk to, to laugh at, the messenger, and quite frankly I'm sick to death of it.
/vent[/QUOTE]

That bolded part was incredibly rude.

Way back when I had that very same thing happen to my: my friends were always nicer, cuter, funnier, cooler, etc. than me. Drove me crazy.

One thing I happened to be more than them, however, was smart. So I chose something I'd really excel in and got really good at it. In my case it was honors accounting. But it can be anything, really.

Get really good at playing an instrument or singing or sewing or whatever it is that you really enjoy. Then when you start feeling unimportant you can remember that you're much better at (whatever you choose) than them.

Why would your friend tell you that you're unattractive?
That's not what a friend would do. And you know that you're good looking.
I don't know about your friends, but you certainly have attractive qualities.
Maybe it's just that they think you're out of their league and so they treat you indifferently.

I've never really heard of situations like this. How do you act around guys?

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]That bolded part was incredibly rude.

Way back when I had that very same thing happen to my: my friends were always nicer, cuter, funnier, cooler, etc. than me. Drove me crazy.

One thing I happened to be more than them, however, was smart. So I chose something I'd really excel in and got really good at it. In my case it was honors accounting. But it can be anything, really.

Get really good at playing an instrument or singing or sewing or whatever it is that you really enjoy. Then when you start feeling unimportant you can remember that you're much better at (whatever you choose) than them.[/QUOTE]
I can excel at loads of things compared to my friends... but sometimes they hold that against me which ends up maing me feel worse. And it's like "But I can do all these things, and yet you still prefer them??". And yeah Geoff is not tactful and that did actually hurt me despite me not showing it. He can be a twat sometimes.

[QUOTE]Why would your friend tell you that you're unattractive?
That's not what a friend would do. And you know that you're good looking.
I don't know about your friends, but you certainly have attractive qualities.
Maybe it's just that they think you're out of their league and so they treat you indifferently.

I've never really heard of situations like this. How do you act around guys?[/QUOTE]
1. Like I said before; he's got no tact.
2. No, I'm not good looking. I'm not sure if you've seen any pictures of me and this is the first time I've admitted it, but the camera can be very forgiving. Please take my word for it, my friends are better looking than me.
3. I'm not out of their league, I was never in it.
4. I act like I would around anyone. They doon't flirt with me, they treat me like one of their mates, so I treat them the same back. I'm not going to embarrass myself with a poor attempt at flirting. I went to an all gir's school for 4 years in primary school, I often wonder if that has had an effect on how I act today. I'm bubbling with confidence and quite often near the centre of attention. I like to mess around and make people laugh. I think my main problem is people feel intimidated by me. I'm also quite... masculine for a girl. Not like really butch but I used to be a real tomboy. I have quite a deep voice, don't really tend to wear skirts or dresses, people say I walk like a guy and other shiznit.

It's true that the guys will always go for the more feminine girls at that age. It's not so important as you get older though.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]It's true that the guys will always go for the more feminine girls at that age. It's not so important as you get older though.[/QUOTE]
I guess. It doesn't help my friends telling practically everyone we meet that I'm a lesbian. Ok I'm a little butch, I'm bisexual... but please don't ruin my chances with any guy because they all think I'm gay :-/

I don't think that's fair that you keep putting yourself down. I mean so what if one guy said you're unattractive? That doesn't mean you are. And you certainly don't have to go putting yourself down.

I guess since you were in an all girls school and haven't interacted with guys that much, it has become a slight problem, cause they treat you like one of the guys.

It's a delicate issue, you have to try to act less like one of the guys. I can't really explain how, it's upto you to figure that out. =/

EDIT: If guys find out you're bisexual, they should be attracted to you more. So it might be that they don't want to come of as too "horny" in the hopes to go out with you.

[QUOTE=ProSeries]I don't think that's fair that you keep putting yourself down. I mean so what if one guy said you're unattractive? That doesn't mean you are. And you certainly don't have to go putting yourself down.

I guess since you were in an all girls school and haven't interacted with guys that much, it has become a slight problem, cause they treat you like one of the guys.

It's a delicate issue, you have to try to act less like one of the guys. I can't really explain how, it's upto you to figure that out. =/

EDIT: If guys find out you're bisexual, they should be attracted to you more. So it might be that they don't want to come of as too "horny" in the hopes to go out with you.[/QUOTE]
I don't put myself down. It's just the way it... the problem is trying to accept it and get over my jealousy. And trust me, he's not the first guy to call me unattractive, that was just an example.

To Herbert:

Hang in there. What you're going through was pretty much my story throughout high school. I was always comparing myself to my friends and feeling as if I didn't belong. I kept to a small group of close friends, and other than that I was fairly anti-social.

Now being able to look back at that time I realize that I made alot of my feeling like I didn't belong into more than it really was. Most people that age are extremely immature, and there's nothing really you can do to change things. Just focus your time and energy on other things. As you get older people will come around. In the meantime hang in there, things will work themselves out.

[QUOTE=EizingerIsGod]To Herbert:

Hang in there. What you're going through was pretty much my story throughout high school. I was always comparing myself to my friends and feeling as if I didn't belong. I kept to a small group of close friends, and other than that I was fairly anti-social.

Now being able to look back at that time I realize that I made alot of my feeling like I didn't belong into more than it really was. Most people that age are extremely immature, and there's nothing really you can do to change things. Just focus your time and energy on other things. As you get older people will come around. In the meantime hang in there, things will work themselves out.[/QUOTE]
Thanks :)

Maybe they find you unattractive personality wise? I mean you did say you were one of the guys, so they love you to death as a friend, but they aren't attracted to you in the way you want them to be.

Well, I guess the situation caused you to believe that you aren't that good looking. You have to come to terms with the fact that there will be girls better looking than you. Yet, that shouldn't affect your chances with guys.
Have you tried talking to your friends?

[QUOTE=ProSeries]Maybe they find you unattractive personality wise? I mean you did say you were one of the guys, so they love you to death as a friend, but they aren't attracted to you in the way you want them to be.

Well, I guess the situation caused you to believe that you aren't that good looking. [B]You have to come to terms with the fact that there will be girls better looking than you.[/B] Yet, that shouldn't affect your chances with guys.
Have you tried talking to your friends?[/QUOTE]
That's what I'm trying to do.

I've tried a little... but it hasn't really worked. The first time:
'Oh be quiet, you're really good at everything else'

the second time:

'No you are pretty, really! You just don't [I]try[/I]'

so i was talking to my woman. lol. yea.

yea her phone cut off - "battery".

i feel she is just hiding something. aw well. its ok though - i rang her today and she seemed pretty happy - im just an idiot.

=/..
You'll eventually figure things out, I'm sure.

It happened to me when I was around 15-16 as well. Not many girls looked at me, I was considered the class clown and all I was good for were laughs. So I just continues what I was good at. I mean, I did have girlfriends, just not the ones I preferred.

I guess when I got older, I got more confident, and so now I get my fair share.

You're bound to get yours soon, that's for sure.

[QUOTE=~grif~]so i was talking to my woman. lol. yea.

yea her phone cut off - "battery".

i feel she is just hiding something. aw well. its ok though - i rang her today and she seemed pretty happy - im just an idiot.[/QUOTE]

I'd give you advice, but it seems you've figured it out.

That you're an idiot. =P

[QUOTE=ProSeries]


I'd give you advice, but it seems you've figured it out.

That you're an idiot. =P[/QUOTE]
i like you

i like you alot

:) :thumb: :)

I'm speechless... =')

[QUOTE=~grif~]so i was talking to my woman. lol. yea.

yea her phone cut off - "battery".

i feel she is just hiding something. aw well. its ok though - i rang her today and she seemed pretty happy - im just an idiot.[/QUOTE]
Do you have any real reason to suspect this, besides the fact that her battery may or may not have gone dead.

[QUOTE=Tillius]Do you have any real reason to suspect this, besides the fact that her battery may or may not have gone dead.[/QUOTE]
well its back a couple pages ago, she said something to me went really quiet and i thought she started crying, she dosent like to cry to me or about me and i thought she got so upset that she just hung up on me. but its all cool i soppose.

What did you tell her that made her cry?
Props either way, you made a girl cry!! You're a man!!

Hell yeah!!!!

[QUOTE=Herbert_da_fish]I dunno, it's like I'm just written off, not even considered.[/QUOTE]

I used to get that feeling a lot. Eventually, I just stopped caring. The ironic thing was that after people learned that they had to actually [i]earn[/i] my attention and respect, they weren't nearly so cold.

[QUOTE=Herbert_da_fish]1. Like I said before; he's got no tact.[/quote]

Then put him in his place. You should never have to tolerate classless behavior. Ever.

[quote]2. No, I'm not good looking. I'm not sure if you've seen any pictures of me and this is the first time I've admitted it, but the camera can be very forgiving. Please take my word for it, my friends are better looking than me.[/quote]

Lots of women have told me I'm good-looking. But when I look in the mirror, I see the vanity pounds I still haven't lost. I see every scar, every blemish, every stray hair, and think the way my facial muscles move looks really weird.

Everyone except the truly vain sees their flaws in greater detail than anybody else.

[quote]3. I'm not out of their league, I was never in it.[/quote]

Sounds to me like you're above it.

[quote]4. I act like I would around anyone. They doon't flirt with me, they treat me like one of their mates, so I treat them the same back. I'm not going to embarrass myself with a poor attempt at flirting. I went to an all gir's school for 4 years in primary school, I often wonder if that has had an effect on how I act today. I'm bubbling with confidence and quite often near the centre of attention. I like to mess around and make people laugh. I think my main problem is people feel intimidated by me. I'm also quite... masculine for a girl. Not like really butch but I used to be a real tomboy. I have quite a deep voice, don't really tend to wear skirts or dresses, people say I walk like a guy and other shiznit.[/QUOTE]

To me, it sounds like you're not dealing with men. You're dealing with immature little boys in late-adolescent bodies.

[QUOTE=ProSeries]What did you tell her that made her cry?
Props either way, you made a girl cry!! You're a man!!

Hell yeah!!!![/QUOTE]
lol
yea...i enjoy it..

no but really, she said something like "kev what am i going to do with you" and then she went silent and i thought i heard her cry and the phone hung up. She is away from me atm.

That sucks. Maybe she's in love with you. Sounds like the symptoms.

Are you ready to commit yet?

[QUOTE=ProSeries]That sucks. Maybe she's in love with you. Sounds like the symptoms.

Are you ready to commit yet?[/QUOTE]
i am in love with her.
she proposed to me lol. as a joke that i wasnt too sure if it was a joke...
when she thinks shes pregnant, she kinda wants it to be true.
and its all cool with me though.

love her to bits.

But if im ever going to Propose to her, its going to be really romantic. She hates that, its all cliché - im going to bring her to somewhere special, say something really romantic/korney/makes me look like a dope and propose.
but not now. not yet.

Congrats, rather young, but it's not easy finding love. =o

Ì really hate how when you find someone so special that you know you could spend the rest of you're life with. Like not just some girl you can have fun with, but like shes one that i could just be completely bored with but still want her to be here or not want to talk, but we talk anyway cause it all just flows or whatever.
I hate how you find someone like that at - like me 19, and people dismiss it cause im so young.

Maybe its the fact that I couldnt support both of us yet, but when i can i will.