Good thing I killed the ice-skating girl link (a)

[QUOTE=kombucha mushroom mofo]:GirlNextDoor: [color=orange][size=1000]Fu[B][I][/I]ck her for me![/color][/size][/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=kombucha mushroom mofo]:GirlNextDoor: [color=orange][size=1000]**** her for me![/color][/size][/QUOTE]

lol pwned

Here goes nothing, I'll update tomorow.

Night guys.

I got it the 3rd time AH. :upset:

REMEMBER POST ABOUT IT PLZ

AH- what is (a) ? I've seen you do it a few times...just wondering.

Godspeed, ATM.

and kombucha: Jim just explained that :lol:

Sorry, I missed it. :p

[QUOTE=kombucha mushroom mofo]AH- what is (a) ? I've seen you do it a few times...just wondering.[/QUOTE]

[quote=AH](a) = MSN angel smiley. It implies innocence, usually sarcastically.[/quote]
mmmkay

EDIT: post # ++

Plural of "dwarf" = dwarves. I suck at typing tonight :(

A guy can't obtain an erection so he goes to the doctor. The doctor tells him that the muscles at the base of his pen0r are broken down and there's nothing he can do unless he's willing to try an experimental surgery. The guy asks what the surgery is.

The doctor tells him they take the muscles from the base of a baby elephant's trunk, insert them in the base of his pen0r, and hope for the best.

The guy says that sounds pretty scary but the thought of never having sex again is even scarier, so he goes through with it.

The doctor performs the surgery and about six weeks later gives him the go ahead to "try out his new equipment".

The guy takes his girlfriend out to dinner. While at dinner, he starts feeling an incredible pressure in his pants. It gets incredibly unbearable, so he figures no one can see him so he undoes his pants.

As soon as this happens, his pen0r pops out of his pants, rolls across the table, grabs a dinner roll, and disappears back into his pants. His girlfriend sits in shock for a few moments, then gets a sly look on her face.

She says, "That was pretty cool! Can you do that again?"

With his eyes watering and a painful expression on his face, he says,

"Probably, but I don't know if I can fit another dinner roll up my as[size=2]s!"[/size]

[QUOTE=kombucha mushroom mofo]Sorry, I missed it. :p[/QUOTE]

Kids these days.

(mx needs a "shaking head in disgust" smiley, doesn't it?)

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]Plural of "dwarf" = dwarves. I suck at typing tonight :(

A guy can't obtain an erection so he goes to the doctor. The doctor tells him that the muscles at the base of his pen0r are broken down and there's nothing he can do unless he's willing to try an experimental surgery. The guy asks what the surgery is.

The doctor tells him they take the muscles from the base of a baby elephant's trunk, insert them in the base of his pen0r, and hope for the best.

The guy says that sounds pretty scary but the thought of never having sex again is even scarier, so he goes through with it.

The doctor performs the surgery and about six weeks later gives him the go ahead to "try out his new equipment".

The guy takes his girlfriend out to dinner. While at dinner, he starts feeling an incredible pressure in his pants. It gets incredibly unbearable, so he figures no one can see him so he undoes his pants.

As soon as this happens, his pen0r pops out of his pants, rolls across the table, grabs a dinner roll, and disappears back into his pants. His girlfriend sits in shock for a few moments, then gets a sly look on her face.

She says, "That was pretty cool! Can you do that again?"

With his eyes watering and a painful expression on his face, he says,

"Probably, but I don't know if I can fit another dinner roll up my as[size=2]s!"[/size][/QUOTE]

Haven't heard it, but it wasn't all that funny.

[QUOTE=Disconnection Notice]Haven't heard it, but it wasn't all that funny.[/QUOTE]

I just made it up off the top of my head because all the good ones I know you probably have already heard :angry:

EDIT: I mean, seriously, how does a peni[size=2]s "roll?"[/size] :lol:

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]I just made it up off the top of my head because all the good ones I know you probably have already heard :angry:[/QUOTE]

Yeah, that would explain it.

EDIT: Page 1862 snypa

You just made it up?

:eek: Jim=joke improv master

This is another bad one:

A woman walks into the store and purchases the following:

1 small box of detergent
1 bar of soap
3 individual servings of yogurt
4 oranges
1 stick of women's deodorant

She then goes to the check out line.

Cashier: Oh, you must be single.
Woman: You can tell that by what I bought?
Cashier: No, you're fuc[size=2]king ugly![/size]

[QUOTE=kombucha mushroom mofo]You just made it up?

:eek: Jim=joke improv master[/QUOTE]

Heh, far from it.

Did you see the latest improv comedy advert? I posted it earlier today.

No, linkplzkthx

ATM has been waiting to ask Myspace shower girl out on a date and she finally agrees to go out with him. He takes her to a nice restaurant and buys her a fancy dinner. On the way home, he pulls over to the side of the road in a secluded spot. They start necking and he's getting pretty excited. He starts to reach under her skirt and she stops him, saying she's a virgin and wants to stay that way (STFU, just go with the joke).

"Well, okay," he says, "how about a blowjob?"

"Yuck!" she screams. "I'm not putting your dong in my mouth!"

He says, "Well, then, how about a hand job?"

"I've never heard of that," she says. (STFU, just go with the joke) "What do I have to do?"

"Well," he answers, "remember when you were a kid and you used to shake up a Coke bottle and it'd spray all over the place?"

Myspace shower girl nods. "Well, it's just like that."

So, he pulls it out and she grabs hold of it and starts beating it. A few seconds later, his head flops back on the headrest, his eyes close, snot starts to run out of his nose, wax blows out of his ear and he screams out in pain.

"What's wrong?!" Myspace shower girl screams.

ATM screamed back,

"Take your thumb off the end!"

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]This is another bad one:

A woman walks into the store and purchases the following:

1 small box of detergent
1 bar of soap
3 individual servings of yogurt
4 oranges
1 stick of women's deodorant

She then goes to the check out line.

Cashier: Oh, you must be single.
Woman: You can tell that by what I bought?
Cashier: No, you're fuc[size=2]king ugly![/size][/QUOTE]

Your jokes are making me hate white people, Jimmy. And I'm very tolerant of white people

[url=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v607/frozeninshadows/catnip.jpg]Improv Comedy advert[/url]

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]ATM has been waiting to ask Myspace shower girl out on a date and she finally agrees to go out with him. He takes her to a nice restaurant and buys her a fancy dinner. On the way home, he pulls over to the side of the road in a secluded spot. They start necking and he's getting pretty excited. He starts to reach under her skirt and she stops him, saying she's a virgin and wants to stay that way (STFU, just go with the joke).

"Well, okay," he says, "how about a blowjob?"

"Yuck!" she screams. "I'm not putting your dong in my mouth!"

He says, "Well, then, how about a hand job?"

"I've never heard of that," she says. (STFU, just go with the joke) "What do I have to do?"

"Well," he answers, "remember when you were a kid and you used to shake up a Coke bottle and it'd spray all over the place?"

Myspace shower girl nods. "Well, it's just like that."

So, he pulls it out and she grabs hold of it and starts beating it. A few seconds later, his head flops back on the headrest, his eyes close, snot starts to run out of his nose, wax blows out of his ear and he screams out in pain.

"What's wrong?!" Myspace shower girl screams.

ATM screamed back,

"Take your thumb off the end!"[/QUOTE]

See my last post.

C'mon, Jim. The point of a joke is to be funny.

[QUOTE=Disconnection Notice]Your jokes are making me hate white people, Jim. And I'm very tolerant of white people[/QUOTE]

That joke was supposed to. The ATM and Myspace joke (the last one I just posted) was meant to be funny, however.

EDIT: you know what, fuc[size=2]k you. It's 1:11, and I need sleep. My imagination isn't very sharp right now.[/size]

I bet ATM will laugh if he gets laid.*

*he probably will chuckle, at best :-\

I'm easy to impress. Another refl about ATM and Myspace girl.

Take your thumb off the end. :p

I posted the link to the advert up top ^^^

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]This is another bad one:

A woman walks into the store and purchases the following:

1 small box of detergent
1 bar of soap
3 individual servings of yogurt
4 oranges
1 stick of women's deodorant

She then goes to the check out line.

Cashier: Oh, you must be single.
Woman: You can tell that by what I bought?
Cashier: No, you're fuc[size=2]king ugly![/size][/QUOTE]

What's the difference between East German Woman and Gorillas.

At least with Gorillas you can put a bag over their heads.

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]That joke was supposed to. The ATM and Myspace joke (the last one I just posted) was meant to be funny, however.

EDIT: you know what, fuc[size=2]k you. It's 1:11, and I need sleep. My imagination isn't very sharp right now.[/size][/QUOTE]

Trying to tell jokes when you're tired is like trying to drive drunk: just don't do it, son.

:confused: Found the link, but uhh...

[QUOTE=Disconnection Notice]Trying to tell jokes when you're tired is like trying to drive drunk: just don't do it, son.[/QUOTE]

I'm making these off the top of my head, asshat. Cut me some slack :tiredangryface: