I'm going to try this again and hope my computer is not stupid a second time. Read her post a page or two back. Her boyfriend has a mom issue.

Yes, he certainly does...I can quote what I said before if you like. It's just she's very possessive and he was arguing with her once before and she said something like "If you keep acting like this, I'll take you back to Turkey". Now whether she would actually do this or not is another question :/.

[QUOTE=Pazz]Alright, I need to fill everyone in on my situation. The girl I like who has a boyfriend, that I have told you about, I have found out isn't happy with him right now, and it seems like they could possibly break up.

That isn't what's on my mind though. I haven't let her know that I like her and other people know and have kept it quiet. I have talked to her about going for coffee and she has agreed to, we just need to set a date, another thing that is the least of my worries.

Here's the situation, which isn't much of a situation, I just want to see what you all think. She slept over at my friends (ex-girlfriend) house last night. The two of us are still good friends and I trust her, so I tell her things. She knows I like this girl. Well I was talking to her tonight, and she said she had to tell me something and she thinks the girl I like knows. She told me that this morning the girl I like woke up and said that she had a dream last night and they were in bed, and my friend woke up the girl I like and told her that she should marry me. My friend thinks that she knows that I like her just from her saying that. I told her it's probably just a coincidence.

What do you think?[/QUOTE]

Someone blabbed. People can not keep something like this to themselves. I speak from experience. Bad experience.

[QUOTE=Jerk_217]Wow... it's good to be back. I haven't posted in like... forever


Anyways...

Me and this girl have been like BEST friends for a few years now. we're so close that our friendship played a big role in ending a previous relationship for each of us. i.e. both my ex and her ex thought we had something going on
...

But now, we're both single and we spend almost every free minute we have together. people around us including our parents think we are going out, but we're not. We go to movies, hang out with our friends together, and all of the stuff i'd normally do with any friend, at my house she'd take the love seat, and i'd lay on the couch and we'll watch movies or just talk, or whatever... but lately things have been changing.

Mainly within the last week and i guess a bit in the last month, we are always sitting next to each other, either holding hands or i'll have my arm(s) around her. we've never spoken about changing the dynamics of our relationship... I've never kissed her face. i've kissed her hand once, and the top of her head. that's only signifigant because i'm terrified of what might happen to us if i kiss her on the mouth. If we start a relationship we jeopardize everything we have. and She means more than the world to me. i'd gladly die i her place, and I just can't handle the thought of losing her as a friend. i'm at a point now that i realize that either i'll end up marrying her eventually (i'm 18, she's 17... it'll be a while...), or i'll settle for a whole lot less, or I'll be single for the rest of my life.

I guess I'm just terrified of screwing things up for us, I don't know how to ask her if she's done with being "just friends"... but I know i need to ask her or i'll go crazy. so now i'll ask all of you what you would do if you were me. thanks...[/QUOTE]



well, I guess i'll thank you guys and give y'all some feedback.

i talked to her like an hour ago, and we decided that friends is the way to go at this time in our lives. while we do both (confirmed... whew) have strong feelings for each other we agree that at this point, with me going to college in a few months is not the right time to start something. so we're staying with 'best friends" for now. but thanks for the input. you helped me convince myself to talk to her.

so here's to you

:chug:

[QUOTE=Pazz]Alright, I need to fill everyone in on my situation. The girl I like who has a boyfriend, that I have told you about, I have found out isn't happy with him right now, and it seems like they could possibly break up.

That isn't what's on my mind though. I haven't let her know that I like her and other people know and have kept it quiet. I have talked to her about going for coffee and she has agreed to, we just need to set a date, another thing that is the least of my worries.

Here's the situation, which isn't much of a situation, I just want to see what you all think. She slept over at my friends (ex-girlfriend) house last night. The two of us are still good friends and I trust her, so I tell her things. She knows I like this girl. Well I was talking to her tonight, and she said she had to tell me something and she thinks the girl I like knows. She told me that this morning the girl I like woke up and said that she had a dream last night and they were in bed, and my friend woke up the girl I like and told her that she should marry me. My friend thinks that she knows that I like her just from her saying that. I told her it's probably just a coincidence.

What do you think?[/QUOTE]
Yeah, dude, somebody squealed.

Denying it is out of the question now. If she confronts you, you have to be honest with her.

So how's this to tell a girl I like her? Keep in mind, I rarely get to see her in person anymore, maybe once a week, if that. But we talk online a lot, so that's a positive.

I'm thinking, I'll tell her I like this girl, then ask her if I should tell the girl online or on the phone, then she SHOULD say on the phone, I'll be like, yeah, good idea, then call her and tell her. Only thing is, she might think it a little weird, since we've never talked on the phone before.

What you think? Keep in mind, my family's culture is totally anti-dating, anti-girlfriend. So it would pretty much have to be kept on the down-low. So I can't like, go to her house and say something, you know? And she doesn't go to the same school, even though she lives under a two minute drive away, due to the fuc[size=2]king[/size] overpopulation of Ashburn, VA, there are three high schools within 3 miles of each other.

[QUOTE=Tillius]Yeah, dude, somebody squealed.

Denying it is out of the question now. If she confronts you, you have to be honest with her.[/QUOTE]
Why would this be a bad thing anyway? If you like someone, on't pu[SIZE="2"]ss[/SIZE]yfoot around and act like you don't. You can try to be subtle about it, but if the subject comes up, nothing bad is going to happen by admitting you like someone. I can't think of anything truly bad stemming from her knowing you like her, other than some (possibly) awkward conversations.

[QUOTE=Steerpike]You just answered your own question. You've become so emotionally dependent on her, that you're slowly going down the path of creepy stalker-dom.

You need to get out with friends and build a life.[/QUOTE]

yeah I know.. I wish I wasn't so dependant on her though..
I get sad even if we can't talk as late as we usually do one night.
That is wrong! And I know it too.. I shouldn't feel like that.. it's just freaky, to be so posessive and obsessive. How can I put those kinds of feelings aside?

[QUOTE=Whatsisface]yeah I know.. I wish I wasn't so dependant on her though..
I get sad even if we can't talk as late as we usually do one night.
That is wrong! And I know it too.. I shouldn't feel like that.. it's just freaky, to be so posessive and obsessive. How can I put those kinds of feelings aside?[/QUOTE]
Just do it. Slap yourself when you think thoughts like that, and before you overreact, stop yourself and think through is slowly, and logicaly. It works.

Yeah.. that's pretty much all I can do.
It's ALL me, anyways.. only I can really do something about it.
And I can start by changing my way of thinking

[QUOTE=Whatsisface]Yeah.. that's pretty much all I can do.
It's ALL me, anyways.. only I can really do something about it.
[B]And I can start by changing my way of thinking[/B][/QUOTE]
Exactly. I'm naturally pessimistic about everything, but the past few months, I've pretty much forced myself to think "life is bundles of sunshine" and I make sure I stop myself whenever I'm thinking illogically or negatively, and slow down until I can make sense of whatever it is. It's not really as hard as it seems, once you start making an effort.

No one has anything better than my lame idea?

[QUOTE=Junooni]So how's this to tell a girl I like her? Keep in mind, I rarely get to see her in person anymore, maybe once a week, if that. But we talk online a lot, so

.....

there are three high schools within 3 miles of each other.[/QUOTE]

I don't see how your family could be "anti-dating", "anti-girlfriend", unless they're into arranged marriages. I don't know how you should settle that situation without knowing exactly how your family would react or anything.

They are. My parents met on the day of their engagement. How would they react? Let's see..take away my phone, internet privileges, constant monitoring, basically control my social life.

Just for having an interest in girls? That's really harsh. I'm sorry, I can't be much help. if your family wasn't in the picture, I'd say just call her up and tell her and see what goes from there, but things would get complicated since you could never bring her around your family, and I'm sure they'd get suspicious eventually.

Exactly. It's just an aspect of Pakistani culture which really pisses me off. I would have done something already if it wasn't for this.

[quote=Junooni]They are. My parents met on the day of their engagement. How would they react? Let's see..take away my phone, internet privileges, constant monitoring, basically control my social life.[/quote]

Oh boy...I have to say I feel bad for you as I kind of know how some cultural traditions can be difficult to get past when it comes to their vision of male-female relationships. Are you sure you can't talk to your parents at all about this?I mean they must realize they are living in a different country now with a different social system. I can tell you from experience, going out with someone while knowing your parents could ruin it is not fun. Plus the fact that you won't get to see her very often this way isn't very fun :/.

Anyway, about telling you you like her...why don't you try to tell her one of the odd times you see each other in person? Or are other people always around when this happens?hmm...I guess I'm not a wealth of ideas on that one since I've never come out and just told someone I liked them before :x.

It's actually the way you put it, there's actually too many people around whenever I see her, and I never have a chance to really talk to her anymore. She's moving the day after school ends, anyway, about 3 hours away, so I'm not even sure if it's worth it anymore.

And I'm positive I can't talk to them about this. 100%, sadly.

[QUOTE=Junooni]It's actually the way you put it, there's actually too many people around whenever I see her, and I never have a chance to really talk to her anymore. She's moving the day after school ends, anyway, about 3 hours away, so I'm not even sure if it's worth it anymore.

And I'm positive I can't talk to them about this. 100%, sadly.[/QUOTE]
That means she'll be moving with the next few months, right? Honestly, I wouldn't even bother. It would just be heartbreak and drama for you both when she does move, and of course, dodging your parents isn't gong to be cool at all.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. But I think I'll tell her eventually, so it would be better to tell her the day before she moves or something? I don't know. It would be better than telling her after she's moved, and that would really just mean we would no longer talk anymore, as it would be too awkward, her being 3 hours away.

I think I WILL tell her, just before she's about to move, that way....I don't know.

I'm really confused, this has been bugging me for the last few days.

Tell her? or not? Tell her? or not? There's always the chance something could come out of it, or I could get shot down, it could go either way.

I'd just tell her now, lol. Doesn't mean you have to act on it. Even if you guys do get involved, at least you two will keep in mind that it can't be anything serious, and will only be a short fling, since she's moving anyways. I mean, it could work out and all if you guys get into the relatinoship with the right state of mind.

As in right now? hahah, she's online right now. How is my plan of action? The one I detailed up there.

I'd just wait until she gets online, or if you get the chance to ask her in person, it would be even better. Don't just come out with "I like you blah blah", ask her out to a movie or something. That's much more impressive IMO. Ask her out on some sort of date. Don't be afraid to ask her even if she's around other people. It's really just a yes or no questino on her part. If you don't do it in person, then try on the phone, if you have her number, then online if those choices fail. I don't see what could go wrong with it, other than her saying no. Don't confess any real serious feelings until you have a couple of dates first. Chances are, she won't want to get involved in anything serious, if she knows she's moving soon.

Dates = not really possible

I know it sounds weird, it's just one of those things that would be really hard to pull off until January, when I get my license.

If you can't go on dates, how are you going to be involved with this girl, when you rarely have much contact in daily life? That just makes it seem even more hopeless. :(

I know. :upset:

I just don't wanna **** this one up.

Haven't really been following this one, but...

Don't ever ask anybody out online. It's really unromantic.

Asking her to go to the movies, it's fine. But to go out with you, no.

Also, it seems like you are somewhat shy/taking your time. I do that a lot. I'd make a move sometime soon. You'll really regret it if somebody else snags her.

The online thing, is definitely not happening. It's a mistake I won't ever make again.

You're right, I am a bit shy, and I've taken way too much time. It's because I've been trying to figure out whether it was worth it or not, before that, I didn't really know her. I only met her in December, she's one of my cousin's friends.

Would it really matter if somebody else snags her now? I mean, after she moves, I don't really have much of a chance then, do I?

[QUOTE=Junooni]The online thing, is definitely not happening. It's a mistake I won't ever make again.

You're right, I am a bit shy, and I've taken way too much time. It's because I've been trying to figure out whether it was worth it or not, before that, I didn't really know her. I only met her in December, she's one of my cousin's friends.

Would it really matter if somebody else snags her now? I mean, after she moves, I don't really have much of a chance then, do I?[/QUOTE]

Right. Here's where me following the thread would've helped.

Where's she moving/how far?

Richmond, VA. About 4 hours away.