While watching the movie 'Chronicles of Riddick' together last night, my offspring stated that he wished Riddick was his dad. When I asked why, he replied that Riddick is good looking, has muscles and is a good fighter. I told him that I wished Matthew (his arch-enemy at school) was my son because he is better at maths and has cool hair.

Big80s is crackin me up here!

is this copypasta big80s?

riddick is ba tbh

the chronicles of riddick was pretty meh

I promised to look after a friends cat for the week. My place has a glass atrium that goes through two levels, I have put the cat in there with enough food and water to last the week. I am looking forward to the end of the week. It is just sitting there glaring at me, it doesn't do anything else. I can tell it would like to kill me. If I knew I could get a perfect replacement cat, I would kill this one now and replace it Friday afternoon. As we sit here glaring at each other I have already worked out several ways to kill it.

The simplest would be to drop heavy items on it from the upstairs bedroom though I have enough basic engineering knowledge to assume that I could built some form of 'spear like' projectile device from parts in the downstairs shed. If the atrium was waterproof, the most entertaining would be to flood it with water. It wouldn't have to be that deep, just deeper than the cat.

I don't know how long cats can swim but I doubt it would be for a whole week. If it kept the swimming up for too long I could always try dropping things on it as well. I have read that drowning is one of the most peaceful ways to die so really it would be a win win situation for me and the cat I think.

stfu legloas

these are taken from my autobiography >_<

[QUOTE=McP3000;16879173]the chronicles of riddick was pretty meh[/QUOTE]

its wasn't great or anything, but Riddick is badass. Pitch Black was good, and the Riddick game was quite excellent

[QUOTE=DERSIEGDERKRIEGDERKAMPF;16878756]* me half passed out on my couch with bong and scale everywhere*

*mom comes down picks up the scale wipes it with her finger and puts it to her mouth*

mom: what is this cael? is this cocaine?

me: well is your mouth numb?!?!?!

mom:....YES IT IS

me: lol

friend: wtf cael[/QUOTE]

roflmao

:lol: classic

Well I'm stuck on mandatory overtime tonight folks. I'll be on here for another 8 hours!

man, that must be long and boring

prettymuch.

wow that sucks

Yeah I did the same thing last week, very shorthanded here. At least its good money. I get close to 30 an hour.

I'd take it

Yeah its not so bad. But i'll be outta here for a bit. I gotta switch posts and do midnight transfers. I'll be back later.

Here is my simple step by step guide to buying a sofa from IKEA. Some people may think that purchasing a sofa would be a simple exercise but with determination and a little planning, you can ensure that it is a painful process.

[B]
Step 1[/B]

Ring David at 7.40am and ask him if he will come to IKEA with you. It is important to ring this early as David will be disorientated and agree to anything.


[B]Step 2[/B]

Ring David again at 8.05am to check that he got up as getting to IKEA early is imperative. This twenty five minute interval will ensure that if David did get up, he will be in the shower when you call. Ring David again at 9.15 to enquire where he is and ask him to get you a large latte on the way. If he declines, tell him not to be a selfish prick and remind him of the time you fed his fish while he was away six years ago.

[B]
Step 3[/B]

When David arrives, inform him that you are taking his car because it is bigger. This is also the time to inform him that you are buying a sofa and he will need to rent a trailer on the way. Now that David is at your place you can get ready at your leisure. As you just put the clothes you want to wear in the dryer, he will have to wait an hour anyway. Make him useful during this time by having him edit a website you are working on about Australian architecture.


[B]Step 4[/B]

On the way to IKEA, complain about David's choice in music. Demand a better selection. Make David pull over and tune his stereo to your ipod's itrip and play eighties dance tracks such as 'Big in Japan' by Alphaville loud enough for cars around you to hear. Sing the chorus. If you get the words wrong, explain that's the way they are in another version.

[B]
Step 5[/B]

When you get to IKEA, do not go straight to the sofa section. Follow the path IKEA have set for you to take and stop and look at every item. Point out the price and comparison of each product by cross referencing it with the IKEA catalogue. Remember to stop at each location point and consult the 'you are here' diagram before progressing. Inform David every two minutes of your exact location in the store by marking your journey on the IKEA map with your IKEA pencil.


[B]Step 6[/B]

At the sofa section, sit on every couch and pretend you are watching television. Make david sit next to you like a couple. Also, whenever David is more than five metres away, call out questions such as "What is the foam density of that one?" loud enough for a thirty metre radius to hear. Consult with the staff about every couch. Researching sofa's on the internet before you go will enable you to discuss frame warp and fabric weave. Asking about colour choices and availability will involve looking through large sample books. Consult David on each swatch.

[B]
Step 7[/B]

Once you have made your selection, do not leave the store. Purchase a coffee table and shelf unit and tell David that he will help you put them together when you get home. Also purchase lamps, glass tea light holders, cutlery, ice cube trays, cusions, stackable boxes, an ironing board cover, a quilt cover set and a rug. Make David carry everything, explaining that you need your hands free to write on the IKEA product slip with your IKEA pencil.


[B]Step 8[/B]

Before leaving, inform David that you would like to try the famous Swedish Meatballs at the IKEA restaurant. If he states that he will wait in the car, explain that you are shopping together, not one person shopping and the other waiting in the car. Discuss the meatballs on the drive home.

tl;dr

[img]http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/7328/burzumstalbumartch5.png[/img]

just made this in paint mmmm

^ nicely done man made my pen1s twitch a bit

why the **** has no one ever linked me to brokeNCYDE before holy **** i am going to be obsessed for months

[QUOTE=masscows;16879286][img]http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/7328/burzumstalbumartch5.png[/img]

just made this in paint mmmm[/QUOTE]

so grimm

>:[

[QUOTE=masscows;16879286][img]http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/7328/burzumstalbumartch5.png[/img]

just made this in paint mmmm[/QUOTE]

That's pretty cool.

varg would be proud masscows

no thats the trumpet

^ truth

she got them apple bottom jeans boots with the furs

o god