[QUOTE=The Profit of Maine]It seems like I should get this out because I don't want to tell the few friends here that know the saga. I just had sex with my ex. I'm a jerk for it. She wanted to. Oh well.[/QUOTE]


Whats wrong with this, exactly?

[QUOTE=The Profit of Maine]It seems like I should get this out because I don't want to tell the few friends here that know the saga. I just had sex with my ex. I'm a jerk for it. She wanted to. Oh well.[/QUOTE]

Eli, mi bruddah, don't be so hard on yourself. Better a stumble early on than later. I have my last final the day after. Will talk to you then. Take care,man. Love.

[QUOTE=Spat Out Plath]That he didn't make a thread about it?[/QUOTE]


Im really glad a thread wasnt made, no.

:upset:

This is not spam.. I just dont know what to do.

These two dingleberries that I believe belong to Pennywhistle really want to suck me hard.. but I dont swing that way.. how do I break the news to them?

[quote=Computer Jesus]
Know what? Shut up.
[/quote]

[quote=Light Fantastic]Hey Tusk, you're the one writing psuedo philosophies about people you don't even know.[/quote]

Woe is me!! I need advice..

EDIT: "Serious questions only" Sorry...

^ ban

Yeah, the details were mediocre :/

The problem is that she's still in love with me and I shouldn't have been a prick. I've explained to her that we can't have a serious relationship, but I don't need to deal with her breaking down over this, thinking I took her back. I'm just going to dodge it today by doing homework forever. So that's the dilemma of me not sucking it up and depriving myself for her peace of mind.


Cool, Caleb. I get three weeks to write one short story, so I'm not too pressed for time. Catch up on that work.

If you explained that you can't have a serious relationship, then it's all on her to understand.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]If you explained that you can't have a serious relationship, then it's all on her to understand.[/QUOTE]
I know. I'd just rather not deal with guilt if she gives it.

[QUOTE=The Profit of Maine]I know. I'd just rather not deal with guilt if she gives it.[/QUOTE]

Tell her not to waste your time trying to beat you with the guilt stick.

[QUOTE=Yppolitia]Ok, so its my turn to share a problem.

Basically I really like this girl and Ive only known her for about a month but we are very close and she knows I like her and I think she likes me too. She's amazingly friendly and sweet. Basically yesterday we were going to town but for certain reasons we couldnt. [b]On MSN I told her I was going to ask her out today and I couldnt wait another day and asked her. I told her obviously she didnt have to answer me there and then and I said that I do hope I wasnt rushing things.[/b]

She said she thought I liked her and basically said that I would have to wait for my answer. Basically my theory is that if she liked me that much she would have said yes surely, not 'I need to think about things'?[/QUOTE]

Bolded the important part there.

Never, never, [i]never[/i] be apologetic about it, tell her you can't wait, or give her time to think about it. That communicates an utter lack of confidence. It's like putting up a proverbial neon sign reading "DESPERATE" over your head.

You may have had a chance with her, but you fed your chance a [i]huge[/i] stone by doing that.

On the upshot, you've learned a very important lesson through all this and now have a clear idea of what never to do in the future.

[QUOTE=The Profit of Maine]I'm just going to dodge it today by doing homework forever. So that's the dilemma of me not sucking it up and depriving myself for her peace of mind.[/QUOTE]

The longer you put it off, the harder it will get. You've made the mistake, now fix it.

I have HUGE worry issues.
I'm always worrying that my girlfriend will leave me, cheat on me, or have feelings for someone else and I know I should trust her.
I'm thinking that maybe I'm too attached to her.. and that's why I'm so afraid at times and I have to try very hard not to get possessive.
I really need help... this is seriously driving me mad for the past 2 months.
What should I do?

[QUOTE=Whatsisface]I have HUGE worry issues.
I'm always worrying that my girlfriend will leave me, cheat on me, or have feelings for someone else and I know I should trust her.
I'm thinking that maybe I'm too attached to her.. and that's why I'm so afraid at times and I have to try very hard not to get possessive.
I really need help... this is seriously driving me mad for the past 2 months.
What should I do?[/QUOTE]
I used to be like that. Just stop. learn to trust her. It's the only thinkg you can do. If you don't, you'll learn it all the hard way like I did.

[QUOTE=Whatsisface]I'm thinking that maybe I'm too attached to her.[/QUOTE]

You just answered your own question. You've become so emotionally dependent on her, that you're slowly going down the path of creepy stalker-dom.

You need to get out with friends and build a life.

I have huge worry issues that my boyfriend's mother will take him away somehow at some point :(.

What can I do to raise self confidence?

Jom, is the old L&R thread still around? There's a guide to building self-confidence that I and a couple others had put up early last year or late the year before that when I used to be a regular here.

[QUOTE=Steerpike]You need to get out with friends and build a life.[/QUOTE]
Best advice I've ever gotten out of these threads. :)

[QUOTE=telemore]What can I do to raise self confidence?[/QUOTE]
Just go out and talk to [U]everyone[/U]. Make as many friends as you can, and talk to as many girls as you can. Confidence just comes naturally when you're completely comfortable with your life.

The old threads are posted in the first post.

Hey hows everyone doing? I've been on spring break so I haven't been on MX in a while. I've been doing a lot better..finally over everything with Julia and something might be happening with another girl.

[QUOTE=Damien Rhodes]Best advice I've ever gotten out of these threads. :)


Just go out and talk to [U]everyone[/U]. Make as many friends as you can, and talk to as many girls as you can. Confidence just comes naturally when you're completely comfortable with your life.[/QUOTE]soyez réalistes, demandez l'impossible.

To do this would require confidence. You have to start at something you can manage...

What do you recommend then?

I think he's right in his final comment, but to obtain such satisfaction you will probably need confidence first.

I really don't know what the answer is. Can you hazzard a guess at why you lack confidnece?

I had the biggest urge to say "Hit puberty" but then I decided to say:

Start a conversation with someone you know, and try to keep it going.

yea. I can talk to people, that's not a problem.

It's just that I can't stand up for myself, and get attached to people wayyyy to easily.

[QUOTE=telemore]What do you recommend then?[/QUOTE]

Here's a few things you could do.
1) Figure out what interests you most about people/ what you could hold your own best in. If it's a certain skill, just hang around someplace that's got that environment. If it's a type of personality or look, there. Don't do anything necessarily in the beginning. Just hang around, familiarize yourself with that place. Chances are that in time, you'll strike up a conversation with someone once you feel you belong.

2) Do something stupid. Remember those cheesy pick-up lines or horrible catch-phrases? Use it on a random person you think might get a laugh out of it. Don't necessarily look to have it received well. The fact that you'd do something like that gives you a story to tell and makes you feel good.

3) Re-connect with old friends. Take them around town.

4) Do things that make you feel good about yourself/develop yourself. Find other people in similar situations. Strike up a conversation with someone drinking in the afternoon in a not-so-crowded bar about it. Afternoon drunks are usually more interesting than the rest and will carry the conversation better if you're even remotely interesting.

[quote]
It's just that I can't stand up for myself, and get attached to people wayyyy to easily.[/quote]

1) Meet someone. Get all friendly. Don't call for awhile. Learn to space out your periods of attachment. Talk, hang out, have fun, then don't with that person for awhile. Rinse and repeat.

2) If you see someone getting walked over, interject. Try helping someone in need. If you can do that for other people, you'll see yourself as strong enough to do it for yourself.

[QUOTE=Futue te Ipsum]soyez réalistes, demandez l'impossible.

To do this would require confidence. You have to start at something you can manage...[/QUOTE]
No, it doesn't require confidence. It requires growing balls and doing it for the first time. Once you can do it once, it gets easier and easier each time afterwards. I've just summed up everything Steerpike and others will say on this subject. Pretty much, just go out and be sociable, despite how you feel about it.

It's not going to be some easy path to gain confidence, it's something you have to force yourself to do, if you want it bad enough. I've been much more sociable and friendly the past couple of months, and I'm a much, much happier person now. If it worked for me, it could work for him.

Thanks ATC.

The thing with not being able to stand up for yourself, realize that whatever the other person has to say...doesn't mean SHI[size=2]T.[/size]

Don't react in the way that the public watching you argue wants you to react. Unless the other person gets physical, just ask yourself, is this hurting me? No.

Now, if it gets physical, then you just let loose. That's my mode of operating. People mess with ya a lot less if you do this.

Alright, I need to fill everyone in on my situation. The girl I like who has a boyfriend, that I have told you about, I have found out isn't happy with him right now, and it seems like they could possibly break up.

That isn't what's on my mind though. I haven't let her know that I like her and other people know and have kept it quiet. I have talked to her about going for coffee and she has agreed to, we just need to set a date, another thing that is the least of my worries.

Here's the situation, which isn't much of a situation, I just want to see what you all think. She slept over at my friends (ex-girlfriend) house last night. The two of us are still good friends and I trust her, so I tell her things. She knows I like this girl. Well I was talking to her tonight, and she said she had to tell me something and she thinks the girl I like knows. She told me that this morning the girl I like woke up and said that she had a dream last night and they were in bed, and my friend woke up the girl I like and told her that she should marry me. My friend thinks that she knows that I like her just from her saying that. I told her it's probably just a coincidence.

What do you think?

[QUOTE=Aakon_Keetreh]Ah so it i just ate my gf out for the first time. It was my first time ever. It was fun.[/QUOTE]
...Congratulations

[QUOTE=cokecanbunny]I have huge worry issues that my boyfriend's mother will take him away somehow at some point :(.[/QUOTE]
What do you mean by this?