Okay, I think I know what I meant to say now: in order for me to feel that I told a complete story, I need to feel absolutely certain with my feelings regarding these situations. Like, I don't want to second guess my storytelling since I repeatedly second guess how I'm handling these things. Hopefully that was more clarified :-\

I don't think it relates to your situations, per se (I'm asexual, remember :p)... but it does have to deal with... well, in a nutshell, bothering to maintain friendships?

I'm not good at explaining things like this.

Anyways, I guess I felt that I was being inconsiderate because you'd be surprised how much I learn from other people, be it online, or watching and listening to what my friends or other people go through, and so on.

/rambling

[QUOTE=Disconnection Notice]Ohhh, okay.[/QUOTE]

I hope that makes it clearer. Perhaps I'm just not good at comparing these things: this gf I'm with is actually my first so I don't have much experience with that whole thing.

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]
Anyways, I guess I felt that I was being inconsiderate because you'd be surprised how much I learn from other people, be it online, or watching and listening to what my friends or other people go through, and so on.

/rambling[/QUOTE]

I like to sit back and observe other people too.

Evening all. it's 20 to five and I can't sleep

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]Okay, I think I know what I meant to say now: in order for me to feel that I told a complete story, I need to feel absolutely certain with my feelings regarding these situations. Like, I don't want to second guess my storytelling since I repeatedly second guess how I'm handling these things. Hopefully that was more clarified :-\

I don't think it relates to your situations, per se (I'm asexual, remember :p)... but it does have to deal with... well, in a nutshell, bothering to maintain friendships?

I'm not good at explaining things like this.

Anyways, I guess I felt that I was being inconsiderate because you'd be surprised how much I learn from other people, be it online, or watching and listening to what my friends or other people go through, and so on.

/rambling[/QUOTE]

That's ok. I never thought you were being inconsiderate. It sounded like you were doing exactly what you said: learning about these things by reading the stories. And by the way, telling stories is often what helps me to organize my feelings about it: second-guessing usually comes with the territory, and it's good to do that. With matters as complex as friendships, I never want to put myself in a position where I think I've figured everything out for sure: the best thing for me is to understand things from as many perspectives as possible and come to a private contentment about the issue.

So basically, I would love to hear what you've got to say, if you feel like sharing.

[QUOTE=GurS]Evening all. it's 20 to five and I can't sleep[/QUOTE]

20 to five? Where do you live?

[QUOTE=GurS]Evening all. it's 20 to five and I can't sleep[/QUOTE]

Wank.

/me doesn't help matters

Off-topic: I can try to explain a story, if you'd like, but it might take me awhile to formulate any thoughts :-\

EDIT: never mind, I'll try after reading Ripper's reply.

Yes, do please share, AH.

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]Wank.

/me doesn't help matters

Off-topic: I can try to explain a story, if you'd like, but it might take me awhile to formulate any thoughts :-\[/QUOTE]

:) Tell away.

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]Wank.[/QUOTE]

Just did. Geez, gimmie five minutes, who do you think I am, Jesus?

And I'm a UKian

Ripper, you a Jew?

[QUOTE=GurS]Just did. Geez, gimmie five minutes, who do you think I am, Jesus?

And I'm a UKian[/QUOTE]

Ah.

[QUOTE=GurS]Ripper, you a Jew?[/QUOTE]

No. If you're inferring from my avatar, I don't think it means anything in particular. I've just become fascinated with the way sigils look, and although this particular one has something like Hebrew and a few God-related symbols on it, ****ed if I know for sure what it means.

God, I hate having to explain my avatars' significances. Mostly because I never know what they are. I literally pick them out because they look interesting or intricate to me in some way. But then when people ask me (and in some cases tell me) what they mean, I always feel like somebody that wore a cross necklace to appear fashionable. :(

Your avatar? All I get from your av is a slight head ache. It's the user title

lawl. owned.

[QUOTE=GurS]Your avatar? All I get from your av is a slight head ache. It's the user title[/QUOTE]

Ouch. That bit hurt, but as far as the user title is concerned, it's a Michael Hedges song.

I'll be changing my avatar now. :upset:

[QUOTE=Disconnection Notice]Didn't know you dug Pharrell THAT much.



I think both sides [those who only like 50 Cent and such and those who judge rap based on the former] are at fault here.

And KOHD: Definately stick with Simple Man.[/QUOTE]
I'm a fanboy.

/late++

[QUOTE=Ripper22]Ouch. That bit hurt, but as far as the user title is concerned, it's a Michael Hedges song.

I'll be changing my avatar now. :upset:[/QUOTE]

My apologies, it's late. Want some good music to compensate? By good much, I mean Israeli hip hop/funk.

[QUOTE=Ripper22]No. If you're inferring from my avatar, I don't think it means anything in particular. I've just become fascinated with the way sigils look, and although this particular one has something like Hebrew and a few God-related symbols on it, ****ed if I know for sure what it means.

God, I hate having to explain my avatars' significances. Mostly because I never know what they are. I literally pick them out because they look interesting or intricate to me in some way. But then when people ask me (and in some cases tell me) what they mean, I always feel like somebody that wore a cross necklace to appear fashionable. :([/QUOTE]
Just say it looks cool.

[QUOTE=GurS]My apologies, it's late. Want some good music to compensate? By good much, I mean Israeli hip hop/funk.[/QUOTE]

No problem, I can't find another one I think looks cool enough right now anyway. Musical compensation is unneccesary. :)

you SURE you don't want Israeli hip hop/funk? Tis good sheeit.

[QUOTE=Triven]Sorry to advertise, but check out this forum:

[url]http://s9.invisionfree.com/Entertainment_Forums/index.php?act=idx[/url]


It's a real cool place, only about 50 members right now, all who came from mx, and there's no n00bs or bad posters (due to the few amounts of members). So click on the link, and take a look around, and hopefully register cause it's a great place to sign up too.[/QUOTE]

Those forums are a wicked place to go. No Havoc goes on there, and there's a lot of good convo.

Note: I originally had a long story in this post, but I edited it out.

That's a really involved story AH. I'm sorry you're going through so much pain over it. The way you describe her (and I can't be sure if this is actually the case since I don't know her firsthand) she reminds me, actually of the friend of mine I mentioned in my post that I was becoming attracted to. She's different from your friend in multiple ways, but a similarity I see is very frequent partying, frequent rough patches, and a desire to be a more normal person. She compulsively parties, has sex, and does a lot of self-destructive things because her psyche has developed in a way that makes her feel that those things are throwaways, like they don't matter. She's only recently truly learned to appreciate the friends that are in her life, the ones that AREN'T assholes. It sounds like your "friend" hasn't realized it, but she's coming close, and you're frustrated because she's not getting that she has a great friend--you--to turn to.

But I'm not sure how to respond, honestly. I give you a lot of credit for being as honest as you were, and your post has a lot of powerful feeling in it. You succeed admirably at attempting to look at the situation objectively, too. I'd like to help, if I can: should I try to give more examples of similar things or should I tell you straight-up how the situation sounds to me and give the appropriate amount of advice?

EDIT: Also, do you have romantic feelings for her?

Actually, I'm surprised people would actually care to read the whole thing. I think DN signed off while I was typing it, actually.

To be truthful, I'm willing to read whatever you want to share that you feel is appropriate. I'm not in pain over it where I lose sleep over it and it festers in me or anything where I can't focus on things, but it's just that I (obviously) think about this a bit too much if I want to go into such detail... if that makes sense.

EDIT @ your edit: I can honestly say no, because I never think about things like that. That's another long story, hence where my usertitle comes in to play.

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]Actually, I'm surprised people would actually care to read the whole thing. I think DN signed off while I was typing it, actually.

To be truthful, I'm willing to read whatever you want to share that you feel is appropriate. I'm not in pain over it where I lose sleep over it and it festers in me or anything where I can't focus on things, but it's just that I (obviously) think about this a bit too much if I want to go into such detail... if that makes sense.[/QUOTE]

Hey, c'mon, of course I was going to read your story. You folks on the 'Net are my friends too, and that means showing support when they're going through rough patches.

Well, let's see. My friend that I was talking about did a lot of self-destructive things in the past semester of college, had a lot of meaningless sex, and wounded herself a lot, because the void of having a good, decent guy in her life wasn't filled. I seemed to fill that void for a while, though, but the problem was that I already had a gf that I loved very much. Through the many talks we subsequently had in order to organize our feelings for each other, we became very close because of our honesty with one another. It was weird: the drama brought us closer, and for her, it took being unable to have something that she wanted, and learning from the relationship I was in to realize a.) that I was a very special friend to her and b.) that her life was up to now meaningless and she wanted to continue searching for it instead of partying and having sex so much. For me, talking this out with her is what helped us get through our own problems with one another and become people who care for each other very much.

Ok, I'm going to assume the biggest reason you're pissed is because she sounds ungrateful for the support you've shown her when she's down. She doesn't give you credit for being there for you, and she always is looking past the good, nice, smart guy that's right in front of her for these assholes. Then she complains about how there are no nice guys, and you bring her out of her sadness anyway. I can see how that's frustrating: since she doesn't give you credit for being there for her, the only times you really seem like her friend are WHEN you're bringing her out of her sadness and afterward it's like she forgets about you again. Am I way off the mark on this? Please correct me: I don't know your friend and so I may be talking out of my ***.

[QUOTE=Animosity_62]Those forums are a wicked place to go. No Havoc goes on there, and there's a lot of good convo.[/QUOTE]
No havoc eh?

/remembers Wednesday

No, what you say is accurate, just don't operate with the assumption that romantic feelings are involved (you missed my edit, but even still, your answer doesn't seem to take that into account anyway).

EDIT: by the way, thanks again for taking the time to bother with reading about my trivial story and responding to it.

Very generally, I have to decide whether or not to want to deal with her anymore, and I would like for it to happen before summer/when I come home from university.

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]No, what you say is accurate, just don't operate with the assumption that romantic feelings are involved (you missed my edit, but even still, your answer doesn't seem to take that into account anyway).

Very generally, I have to decide whether or not to want to deal with her anymore, and I would like for it to happen before summer/when I come home from university.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I missed the edit. Sorry :) Would she come to you if she ran into another rough spot, or would it be you going to her to help with no request?

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]
EDIT: by the way, thanks again for taking the time to bother with reading about my trivial story and responding to it.
[/QUOTE]

It's not trivial, and it's also not a problem. I only hope I'm helping a little....