[QUOTE=Iscariot]The golden rule is that you should never approach a relationship thinking that you can improve various aspects of the person you're interested in. If you can't handle them the way they are, then stay the hell away from them. Don't take the first thing that pops into your arms, because I can guarantee something better is waiting right around the corner.[/QUOTE]

Agreed many times over.

All right, so I like this girl and I told one of her friends and she talked to her about it and her friend said she would definately give me a try. I'm going to ask her tommorow and get her phone number and stuff. her friend said she likes to pick the place we go, so i'll let her do that. The only problem is that my friend was supposed to go on a date with this girl and they're friends and are supposed to hang out soon. But he told me that "he doubts any thing will happen with them because she doesn't like the same music and doesn't smoke weed". So how should I handle this situation/general tips

Let him go first. Get her phone number and all that stuff so you can start talking to her,but let your friend hang with her first and all that because he made the plans first. If nothing happens like he said it wouldnt, then you have the go ahead, and you didnt betray your friend. Also, when you get her number and start talking to her and all that stuff, she may end up liking you anyway and not him, and you have no control over that, so your friend should be understanding.

Ok, there's this girl, and a couple of my friends have hinted that me and her should maybe date, but here's the thing, I've dated her before once. It was really wierd. However, last time, the timing was extremely screwed up, for several reasons, such as:
-she still wasn't over her old boyfriend
-she just broke up with two guys before me, both being my friends
-i guess she had a crazy mood swing for most of the time we were dating.

Now, I'm just wondering if a couple of my friends have been telling me this because the girl told them she liked me again, or if they have just noticed something? I dunno, but I'm also wondering if I'm just getting myself into the same old situation, or if it may be a good move to try her again, because there are no conflicting emotions this time around. To be honest, yeah i still like her, and have for a long time.

Well has she had any relationships in the recent past? If so were they tragic or something that took her a while to get over?(i feel like i'm writing a survey)

If she's not getting over any relationships at the moment and she likes you, I would go for it.

[quote=guitar p]Wow
i think you are 100% right
best advice i've gotten about this situation
thanks :)[/quote]

Anytime.

[quote=Luster]while everybody's on the subject - that's one thing my boyfriend and i haven't done. i've known my boyfriend well before we started dating and know that he doesn't throw around the words at all. we've been going out for ~8 months now and everything's been going somewhat perfect. no fights, no arguements, really only good things, so i'm wondering if he's being cautious or just isn't feeling it.

I also have no idea whether he said it to his girlfriend of 1.5 years. i know he cried when they broke up and took it decently hard, but they're still friends. (in fact, on her facebook the only picture she put up from prom was the single picture of her and him -_-)

[underlying, i guess i'm just afraid i'm that in-between-relationship from his ex-girlfriend and college (we haven't talked about whether we're staying together... but we're going to colleges within 10 miles of each other in Philadelphia this fall)][/quote]

Some people think that a lack of aggression is the sign of a healthy relationship, when really, after about eight months together and no fighting, I can almost promise there are things he isn't telling you. He isn't being emotionally open with you and you should nip that in the bud. If you're unsure about the status of your relationship when college comes around, then you need to open that line of communication as well. Before you approach him, however, make sure that you know exactly where you stand. If you walk into that confrontation with any doubts about your own feelings, you're going to say something wrong and turn a small worry into a big fiasco. Sit down and think about where [b]you[/b] want the relationship to go and what [b]you[/b] to get out of the relationship before you worry about what [b]he[/b] wants. Never let yourself fall second in your own priorities simply to appease your significant other. If the relationship isn't going where you want it to go, make the adult decision and do what's best for both of you by ending it.

Also, if you do come to find that the relationship isn't what you really want in the long run, don't wait for college to end it for you. That's going to leave a bitter taste in both of your mouths and you'll regret it for a long, long time.

[quote=smart blockhead]All right, so I like this girl and I told one of her friends and she talked to her about it and her friend said she would definately give me a try. I'm going to ask her tommorow and get her phone number and stuff. her friend said she likes to pick the place we go, so i'll let her do that. The only problem is that my friend was supposed to go on a date with this girl and they're friends and are supposed to hang out soon. But he told me that "he doubts any thing will happen with them because she doesn't like the same music and doesn't smoke weed". So how should I handle this situation/general tips[/quote]

Do you have any sincere feelings for this girl? Even a little lust is at least something to get a start off of. Also, how well do you know the girl? If you two aren't at least good friends, I strongly advise against trying to get any kind of relationship off the ground. You should never date someone that you don't know as a friend. Some people say you should never date your best friend, but I think that's the smartest choice anyone can make. The better friends you are with someone, the better chance your relationship has of being a long-lasting deal.

If you don't know her as well as you know that you should, I recommend avoiding the dating game for now. Just spend time with her as friends and get to know her better. Find out if this is really someone you want to be with. As it is, her response of 'giving you a try' doesn't sound very promising. It sounds as if she's very unsure of you, so I would just take it very slow for now.

[quote=King]Ok, there's this girl, and a couple of my friends have hinted that me and her should maybe date, but here's the thing, I've dated her before once. It was really wierd. However, last time, the timing was extremely screwed up, for several reasons, such as:
-she still wasn't over her old boyfriend
-she just broke up with two guys before me, both being my friends
-i guess she had a crazy mood swing for most of the time we were dating.

Now, I'm just wondering if a couple of my friends have been telling me this because the girl told them she liked me again, or if they have just noticed something? I dunno, but I'm also wondering if I'm just getting myself into the same old situation, or if it may be a good move to try her again, because there are no conflicting emotions this time around. To be honest, yeah i still like her, and have for a long time.[/quote]

Never go back for seconds. If it didn't work the first time around, there was a lesson to be learned, and you, my friend, obviously didn't learn it. Re-examine your past situation and understand the real reason why things didn't work out before you walk into another dead-end relationship.

I really, really fancy this girl, but she's with this jerk-*** boyfriend who won't even let her be friends with me. She's 18, i'm 20, she's sexually experienced, I'm not, and she's dated older guys in the past.

Question: how do i make her ditch the bf and how do i make her see how i feel?

You don't. I doubt you'd like it if you were in a relationship and some jerk broke the entire thing up.

[QUOTE=SubtleDagger]You don't. I doubt you'd like it if you were in a relationship and some jerk broke the entire thing up.[/QUOTE]

it's happened.

everybody seems entitled to do it so why shouldn't i?

Who exactly is everybody?

a load of people i know, starting with the guys who did their best to screw MY relationship in the first place :P

So that means you can do it too? No. You clearly didn't like it when they did it to you.

[QUOTE=BassBeginner]it's happened.

everybody seems entitled to do it so why shouldn't i?[/QUOTE]
She's not going to get with the guy that ended her relationship. If it's gonna happen, it'll happen. If it doesn't get over yourself and move on. Guess who'll be the jerk if you break them up?

[QUOTE=Iscariot]Anytime.

Never go back for seconds. If it didn't work the first time around, there was a lesson to be learned, and you, my friend, obviously didn't learn it. Re-examine your past situation and understand the real reason why things didn't work out before you walk into another dead-end relationship.[/QUOTE]

I think there could be a lot of times that this isn't true, especially during teenage years. People are changing so fast that it's possible that two people who didn't have much in common at 16 or 17 could have loads in common at 19 or 20.

One side could have moved off and come back..There are countless scenarios, but "never" is a strong word.

However, I've never seen anyone torn up over an ex when they were with someone that they liked to be with. :\

[QUOTE=Iscariot]Do you have any sincere feelings for this girl? Even a little lust is at least something to get a start off of.[/QUOTE]
Yes, I have sincere feelings for this girl. I have liked her for around two months. Her friend and I went on a trip together and I asked her friend who she thought would be a good girl for me and she said her name, so i admitted that I had liked her for a while. [QUOTE=Iscariot]Also, how well do you know the girl? If you two aren't at least good friends, I strongly advise against trying to get any kind of relationship off the ground. You should never date someone that you don't know as a friend. Some people say you should never date your best friend, but I think that's the smartest choice anyone can make. The better friends you are with someone, the better chance your relationship has of being a long-lasting deal. [/QUOTE] I know her pretty well, we had a class together and we talked regularly and we also have conversations on aim on a regular basis. I've known her for around four months.

[QUOTE=Iscariot]If you don't know her as well as you know that you should, I recommend avoiding the dating game for now. Just spend time with her as friends and get to know her better. Find out if this is really someone you want to be with. As it is, her response of 'giving you a try' doesn't sound very promising. It sounds as if she's very unsure of you, so I would just take it very slow for now.[/QUOTE]I think you may have misinterpreted part of my post. What she's talking about when she said give me a try was to go on some dates and see if we want to get into a boyfriend girlfriend relationship. I'm not going to ask her to be my girlfriend right now, I'm also just giving her a try to see if I want to be with her. She also said I was really nice etc. and she flirts with me when we talk.

Also, my friend was supposed to go on a date with her around easter and never got around to it, so I don't think it really matters, and he told me recently he doesn't think anythings going to happen, but I'll check with him before I ask her to go on a date. Her friend said that she would definately date me as long as we made sure it was ok with my friend.

[QUOTE=BrownSugar]I'm gonna have to pull out the old "did you like him more than me?". [/QUOTE]

Dude, don't do that!

Keep me posted on what happens.

[QUOTE=Danish]Dude, don't do that!
[/QUOTE]


Nonsense, by all means, do it.

[quote=Bass Beginner]I really, really fancy this girl, but she's with this jerk-*** boyfriend who won't even let her be friends with me. She's 18, i'm 20, she's sexually experienced, I'm not, and she's dated older guys in the past.

Question: how do i make her ditch the bf and how do i make her see how i feel?[/quote]

Leave her alone. She's in a relationship, and when it comes to love there is no such thing as an eye for an eye.

[quote=smart blockhead]lots of information[/quote]

Go for it. It sounds like a good deal.

[quote=Tiger]Nonsense, by all means, do it.[/quote]

Silly Tiger - tricks are for kids.

yo jared u get the bacon onto that bitch or wat

[QUOTE=ariathe9th]yo jared u get the bacon onto that bitch or wat[/QUOTE]

Friday, my friend. Friday. I've let my mom have her way and now it's about time to do things my way.

screw women.

[QUOTE=Iscariot] Some people think that a lack of aggression is the sign of a healthy relationship, when really, after about eight months together and no fighting, I can almost promise there are things he isn't telling you. He isn't being emotionally open with you and you should nip that in the bud.[/QUOTE]
I know that he’s not an open person. He’s told me point blank that he doesn’t like to tell people things, ie: important things that should be talked about or even little things that bug him or whatnot.

[QUOTE=Iscariot] If you're unsure about the status of your relationship when college comes around, then you need to open that line of communication as well. Before you approach him, however, make sure that you know exactly where you stand. If you walk into that confrontation with any doubts about your own feelings, you're going to say something wrong and turn a small worry into a big fiasco.[/QUOTE]
No doubt – for now I suppose it’s acceptable that we haven’t really talked about it. We’re both upset by the concept of college anyway and generally avoid it (yes, we tend to avoid all the important things…)

[QUOTE=Iscariot] Sit down and think about where [b]you[/b] want the relationship to go and what [b]you[/b] to get out of the relationship before you worry about what [b]he[/b] wants. Never let yourself fall second in your own priorities simply to appease your significant other. If the relationship isn't going where you want it to go, make the adult decision and do what's best for both of you by ending it.

Also, if you do come to find that the relationship isn't what you really want in the long run, don't wait for college to end it for you. That's going to leave a bitter taste in both of your mouths and you'll regret it for a long, long time.[/QUOTE]
That’s the tough part – figuring out what I want. I’m fairly certain that I want to at least try for the beginning of college, and that’s not something I’d regret going for, I just don’t know if he feels the same way. I’ll probably talk to him once I come back from Germany (I get back August 3rd from Germany, coincidentally the same day he gets back from taking summer courses at the college he’ll be attending)

By the way, you always have very insightful advice. :thumb:

For what it's worth, I hope it all works out for you.

[QUOTE=Iscariot]Go for it. It sounds like a good deal.[/QUOTE]
Sweet, thanks for the help. I just need my friend to get on so I can talk to him about it. Do you think it would be all right to go ahead and ask her when she's on and confirm it iwth him?

[QUOTE=smart blockhead]Sweet, thanks for the help. I just need my friend to get on so I can talk to him about it. Do you think it would be all right to go ahead and ask her when she's on and confirm it iwth him?[/QUOTE]

You should probably talk to her in person. It doesn't show much backbone to ask someone for a date over messenger. :p

anyone know if its normal to turn pale when your mum asks you what you got up to with your girl?

[QUOTE=Corkofski]anyone know if its normal to turn pale when your mum asks you what you got up to with your girl?[/QUOTE]
I couldn't honestly say, though I suspect I would be more likely to go red in the face.

thats what i thought :/

I guess it's normal, but I'm thinking that's probably only a small consolation. If my Mom were to ask me: "Matthew, did you do anything with your girlfriend last night?" there is little comfort I would take from knowing that most likely everybody I know has been asked this at some point. It's just one of life's unfortunate truths.

point is, we didnt actually do much worth talkin bout....

im still a virgin, and ive only been with her 3 weeks...

just my mum thinks as soon as a gal goes in my room im ****ing her...

I've been teaching my best mate to play the drums in my room for the last year and a half and I can assure you that my Mom has never asked me what I do with her up there. Although, considering the row we make with the drums, I'd be worried if she asked me that question for completely the wrong reason.

So what, does your Mom actually ask you that? And did you go pale? I reckon if your Mom thought you had something to hide, she wouldn't need to ask. I know my Mom wouldn't. She'd constantly remind me that she knows exactly what I'm doing in my room with my girlfriend by never mentioning it at all. (This is hypothetical, by the way. I've never had a girlfriend.)

[QUOTE=Iscariot]You should probably talk to her in person. It doesn't show much backbone to ask someone for a date over messenger. :p[/QUOTE]
Well, I'm not going to see her in person until we go on the date. She already knows I'm going to ask her, and I already know she's going to say yes. Do you think I should ask for her phone number and call her to ask her? She leaves it in her profile, but I think it would be a better move to ask for it from her instead of just calling her one day.

[QUOTE=smart blockhead]Well, I'm not going to see her in person until we go on the date. She already knows I'm going to ask her, and I already know she's going to say yes. Do you think I should ask for her phone number and call her to ask her? She leaves it in her profile, but I think it would be a better move to ask for it from her instead of just calling her one day.[/QUOTE]

That would be a very good move. It'll be more sweet in her eyes if you do something like that.

When my mom asks me what we did on a certain night, I tell her"we 'watched' a movie. ". I never tell her what moves I made, and I doubt she wants to know.

[QUOTE=Iscariot]That would be a very good move. It'll be more sweet in her eyes if you do something like that.[/QUOTE]
I'm really excited about this. This girl and I have a lot in common and she has most of the things I look for in a significant other. She listens to good music, she's openminded, she's agnostic(i'm an atheist so I'd rather not date a Christian so they won't try to convert me), she doesn't mind that I get high and would most likely smoke with me, she's sweet, we get along well, she's funny, smart, etc. My last girlfriend was kind of a princess type and she was really square. I didn't get any farther than fingering her and we dated for six months. She basically would let me do stuff to her, but anything where she would have to do anything for me she wouldn't do so she could blame it on me if she felt guilty.:rolleyes: This new girl however told me that she doesn' mind having sex before marriage(she brought this up not me, she also hasn't had sex yet) so that's definately good. All in all this looks like it could turn out very well.

Looks like she's what you need. :)

Ok heres my situation, in my group of friends at school, theres this girl who has recently started flirting with me, and she sent me a text message out of nowhere asking me to hang out. I was able to make up an excuse, but I know she'll do it again. Shes a very attractive girl i must admit, but I just dont wanna get involved. I already like this other girl, but none of my friends know. If you guys can give me ways to somehow give her the cold shoulder, so she could stop bugging me. Your advice is much appreciated, thank you.

[quote=Biddco]Ok heres my situation, in my group of friends at school, theres this girl who has recently started flirting with me, and she sent me a text message out of nowhere asking me to hang out. I was able to make up an excuse, but I know she'll do it again. Shes a very attractive girl i must admit, but I just dont wanna get involved. I already like this other girl, but none of my friends know. If you guys can give me ways to somehow give her the cold shoulder, so she could stop bugging me. Your advice is much appreciated, thank you.[/quote]
You shouldn't give her a cold shoulder. Instead, you should tell her that although you like her as a friend, you don't like her in a girlfriend-boyfriend kind of way. Well, tell her something to that affect anyway, because you should let her know up front how you feel and make sure that you don't lead her on in any way.

[QUOTE=Sabian4015]When my mom asks me what we did on a certain night, I tell her"we 'watched' a movie. ". I never tell her what moves I made, and I doubt she wants to know.[/QUOTE]

funny anecdote.

i was at my boyfriend's and called my mom to tell her i'd be late. i'm talking about the movie. i tell her it's going to be over in about 30 minutes. later in the conversation, i'm talking about the movie: "it [U]was [/U]good"

luckily she didn't notice

Okay this wonderful girl Sara asked me to go to the movies couple of days ago and so we're gonna go out to the movies this Saturday to see "See No Evil". Now I'm gonna be upright honest, this will be my first actual date. This girl is so sweet and I really like her, I just want some advice on what to do for this first date that won't rush the relationship, because I want it to naturally take it's course so it becomes a long and strong one. Thanx to all advice givers. :)