Your own kid turns out to bat for both teams? It's bound to be a bit different. But I guess it'll go back to normal like you said.

What they need to understand(whenever you do decide to tell them) is that sexuality isn't really your choice. I mean, like you said, it took you long enough to come to terms with it yourself, so it's not like it's something you've chosen. When people have attractions towards the same sex, they can no more control it than I can having attractions towards the opposite sex. It's not your fault, and plus, you have attractions to BOTH sexes.
Just think about the worse reaction you'd probably get if you just told him you were a lesbian, not bi, and then maybe the reaction you get won't be too bad for you anymore.

[QUOTE=Tillius]What they need to understand(whenever you do decide to tell them) is that sexuality isn't really your choice. I mean, like you said, it took you long enough to come to terms with it yourself, so it's not like it's something you've chosen. When people have attractions towards the same sex, they can no more control it than I can having attractions towards the opposite sex. It's not your fault, and plus, you have attractions to BOTH sexes.
Just think about the worse reaction you'd probably get if you just told him you were a lesbian, not bi, and then maybe the reaction you get won't be too bad for you anymore.[/QUOTE]
Yeah I guess so :)

Sexual orientation shouldn't matter, if you're a good person.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Sexual orientation shouldn't matter, if you're a good person.[/QUOTE]
not trying to start an argument or anything but who's to determine what "good" is?

[QUOTE=LittlePound]not trying to start an argument or anything but who's to determine what "good" is?[/QUOTE]

I consider a good person to be kind and fair and nonjudgemental.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Sexual orientation shouldn't matter, if you're a good person.[/QUOTE]
Which is totally true- but not everyone can grasp that idea I guess.

My choice? I'd much rather have a kid who was gay/bi and a good person, than one who was straight and a dick.

Im straight and a dick.

[QUOTE=Tiger]Im straight and a dick.[/QUOTE]
And no one wants you :p

[SIZE="1"]joke darling :-*[/SIZE]

I feel bad at the moment, I really really like this girl, but it seems that whenever I'm around her it takes me forever to build myself up to even talk to her.

I know that feeling.

[QUOTE=Eleventeen]I feel bad at the moment, I really really like this girl, but it seems that whenever I'm around her it takes me forever to build myself up to even talk to her.[/QUOTE]

My advice: Do it before somebody else does. If it's just talking to her, you've got nothing to worry about.

You're not asking her out right away, are you?

I mean she can't really reject you for saying "Hi."

[QUOTE=Eleventeen]I feel bad at the moment, I really really like this girl, but it seems that whenever I'm around her it takes me forever to build myself up to even talk to her.[/QUOTE]
Everyone gets that. It really really sucks. Ha the problem with me is that I'm a pretty confident person, but when some I like talks to me I go BRIGHT red, talk utter bollocks and laugh too much.

[QUOTE=Tiger]Im straight and a dick.[/QUOTE]

And, thus far, I've been unable to beat it out of you.

Alright, not really a problem as such, but I just want to get some stuff off my chest and I'm thinking this is definately the right place to do it.

I've just got into a new relationship with my new boyfriend Phil. Things are going really really well, but I'm really scared. A few of you will have heard about a disasterous relationship I had in October-ish. I'm not going to go into details, but basically things were going really really well, like they are doing in my current relationship, and then things ended very suddenly and completely out of the blue. I thought things were y'know, going really well but obviously they weren't and it broke my heart. (Not pointing fingers or blaming anyone here, that's not what this is about)

Now is where the problem lies. I am [I]so scared[/I] that it's going to happen again. I'm seriously falling for Phil and he says he feels the same. I believe him. He's so sweet, so kind, and so caring and he makes me feel like the most special, beautiful person in the world. I'm just scared that it's all going to go wrong. Like he's going to get bored or something and end it within the next couple of weeks.

I've explained how I've been feeling, and explained to him that none of how I'm feeling is his fault, and he's being so understanding. I guess I just like him so much (starting to think it's more than liking him now) that's making me so frightened.

I feel a bit better now.

EDIT: CHRIST that was long. Sorry guys.

Relationships get better as you get older, Beck. I know you're paranoid about the "grass is greener" thing, but like I said before, as you get older that doesn't happen as much.

Just try not to be overly worried that things are going to end.

I tend to start out a relationship with a certain frame of mind 'If it works then great, but if not it's not the end of the world but I'll be ok' I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not but it stopped me from getting hurt. It's gonna be hard for you from what happened before but I guess you've just got to trust him, things should turn out fine :)

Thanks guys. :)

I spoke to my mum about this too, and she said that I should just give it time, and if Phil's the right guy then great.

EDIT: Also, it's not really a case of me not trusting him, although I see what you mean. This is just down to me being paranoid and over thinking things. I am kinda feeling better about it now.

Thanks again for replying Kim and Emily.

[QUOTE=Blue Haze]Thanks guys. :)

I spoke to my mum about this too, and she said that I should just give it time, and if Phil's the right guy then great.

EDIT: Also, it's not really a case of me not trusting him, although I see what you mean. This is just down to me being paranoid and over thinking things. I am kinda feeling better about it now.

Thanks again for replying Kim and Emily.[/QUOTE]
I'm sure it'll get better as time goes by. And I'm sure being with Phil will help you to forget about the other crap that happened and restore a bit of faith in the male species :p

[QUOTE=Hedgedive]My advice: Do it before somebody else does. If it's just talking to her, you've got nothing to worry about.

You're not asking her out right away, are you?

I mean she can't really reject you for saying "Hi."[/QUOTE]

That's true, however I can't even get past a couple of words here and there until we're hanging out for like an hour or two.

[QUOTE=Eleventeen]That's true, however I can't even get past a couple of words here and there until we're hanging out for like an hour or two.[/QUOTE]
Sounds like you need to do some research. Find out from mates if you two have a common interest. I find that if there's something that me and the person I like have in common then we can ramble on for hours.

I've known her for a while now, it's just... I've been more interested in her lately thus leading to me being a nervous feck. I always get like this so I should just keep out of the thread.

[QUOTE=Blue Haze]Thanks guys. :)

I spoke to my mum about this too, and she said that I should just give it time, and if Phil's the right guy then great.

EDIT: Also, it's not really a case of me not trusting him, although I see what you mean. This is just down to me being paranoid and over thinking things. I am kinda feeling better about it now.

Thanks again for replying Kim and Emily.[/QUOTE]

You bet, hon. I know it's a rough road, but you'll get through. :)

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]You bet, hon. I know it's a rough road, but you'll get through. :)[/QUOTE]

Hehe yeah it is rough, but the butterflies and cuddles make it all worth it.

/cheesy but serious

[QUOTE=Herbert_da_fish]I'm sure it'll get better as time goes by. And I'm sure being with Phil will help you to forget about the other crap that happened and restore a bit of faith in the male species :p[/QUOTE]

Yeah you're right. I'm just going to enjoy how happy we both are and try to stop worrying about would [I]could[/I] happen, and what is actually happening.

[QUOTE=Eleventeen]I've known her for a while now, it's just... I've been more interested in her lately thus leading to me being a nervous feck. I always get like this so I should just keep out of the thread.[/QUOTE]
It's what it's here for. But I know exactly what you mean. It makes you feel really stupid and more than anything you want to chat but you can barely bring yourself o make eye contact. I guess all you can do is force your mouth you move up and down and make sounds come out of it.

[QUOTE=Blue Haze]Hehe yeah it is rough, but the butterflies and cuddles make it all worth it.

/cheesy but serious



Yeah you're right. I'm just going to enjoy how happy we both are and try to stop worrying about would [I]could[/I] happen, and what is actually happening.[/QUOTE]
Right on :thumb:

[QUOTE=Blue Haze]Hehe yeah it is rough, but the butterflies and cuddles make it all worth it.

/cheesy but serious
[/QUOTE]

I know exactly what you mean.

[QUOTE=Jo Shoe Wah]Do you want to get back with her? Or are you asking how you should react to her possibly being insterested in you again? Anyway don't try to make a move on her, be respectful that she does have a boyfriend now, but beginning to talk more often and stuff like that is a good step towards your friendship. By the way what do you count as flirting? Because, IMO, a degree of flirting is fine when in a relationship/flirting with someone in a relationship, but touching and some aspects are a bit over the line and disrespectful to the partner.[/QUOTE]


Well, i have thought about it every now and then, but im not sure..Its like everytime we talk to eachother it feels like we havent broken up and were still together, When i talk to her i have these massive feelings for her again, but wen im not talking to her i dont feel anything for her. I understand she has a boyfriend now and i've understood and got on with it for the past 7 months. Flirting IMO is all the touchy feely crap, she still puts her head on my shoulder when shes tired, and whenever i tease her she always slaps me on the stomach or wherever..Ah i just dont know what 2 do:confused:

If she wanted to be with you, she would be. She doesn't reciprocate your feelings, at least not enough to jeopordize what she has right now. Just be happy that you're her friend and keep it at that.

[QUOTE=Iscariot]If she wanted to be with you, she would be. She doesn't reciprocate your feelings, at least not enough to jeopordize what she has right now. Just be happy that you're her friend and keep it at that.[/QUOTE]


Yeah, thats true, I know i'll never get back with her because me and her have just changed completely that we dont fit well with eachother anymore. Thanks for the help:thumb:

That's what I'm here for.

So I had "the talk" with my gf about why we're not progressing. She said she doesnt want to have sex for a while. Shes still a virgin and wants to stay that way for a little bit longer. And said she cant explain why that is. Whether she doesnt want to tell me or she actually doesnt know why. Either way thats cool. At this point she had to get off the phone so I never got my questions answered about why we're not doing everything else.

So I figure I'l take Danish's advice and just push the limits and if I'm stopped I'll bring it up then and ask. :thumb: But I said I think things should go further so hopefully she gets the idea and things improve.

I'm not looking just to get my end wet but I actually believe it helps people connect and grow alot better as they are opening themselves up more to the other. Anyway peace..

If she doesn't feel that she's 100% on board to progress to that level of physicality in the relationship, you should respect that and let her set her limits. Imagine if the role were reversed - would you want her pushing you towards an experience that could make or break the rest of your relationship?

I had an ex-girlfriend who had yet to lose her virginity and I, being the typical teenage guy, smooth-talked her into finally giving it up. Our relationship sank shortly afterwards and I realized, what I viewed as her level of comfort was actually me projecting my level of desire onto her. I knew that she wasn't ready for what happened and to be quite honest, I wasn't ready to accept the responsibility of bringing that kind of change upon her.

Just let your girl decide when the time is right. If you honestly start losing interest over time due to her not giving it up, then you shouldn't be with her because you're letting the lust of the relationship make your decisions for you.

Been a few weeks since I've been here. How's it going? My ex wants to get back with me. I don't want a girlfriend though. If a nice girl came along then I would, but I'm not searching for anything. I'm gonna be visiting a lot of friends that just graduated, and happen to be girls, at college next year:naughty: and I don't think that a relationship would be good

Helllooo. I am looking for a little advice from people who understand the males of the species.

I had been noticing that a male friend of mine seemed to be liking me a bit, hugging a lot, etc. It was a guy I had previously fancied a bit when I first met him about last October/November but not thought much of it.

But then about a month and a half ago, he kissed me when we left each other after a show. We ended up making out a bit just because...It's been so long since I kissed someone and it felt kind of good. But I was really confused about my feelings so I said I had to go but gave him my number and said we should hang out or something, leaving the ball in his court.

3 or 4 weeks passed, and I'm a pretty laid back sort of a person so I hadn't over-worried myself or myspace messaged him or anything, I was easy either way. Then I bumped into him outside a show, and it was kind of awkward cus his friends were there and he obviously didn't wanna bring anything up in front of them. However his friends left and he said he had sent me a message and I obviously hadn't got it, he said his phone sometimes doesn't deliver messages (it is a really old model). Then he kissed me again, and I said we should hang out sometime but I was moving out of town a week later for the summer.

We hung out that evening at the show, and it was nice and relaxed and fun. Then he said he would see me on the Friday (2 days before I left town for 4 months) as he was heading to the same show as me.

So I headed to the show on the Friday, expecting he would be there. I didn't see him, and I would have definitely seen him if he was there as it was a little squat show. I thought this was a bit odd, as it was one of his favourite bands, so a few days later I just sent him a simple myspace message saying "you weren't at the show on Friday". Now cus it was on myspace I could see that he had read it, but he never replied. That was a week ago.

I wasn't too bothered either way before, and one of my friends said it was probably my stand-offish attitude that put him off. Do you reckon that's true? It just seems weird to me, as this guy was chasing me, that he's suddenly not communicating at all. He might just be a bit of a player, he doesn't seem like the type but he's in a couple of bands so I guess you never know...

Sorry Jas, but it definitely sounds like you got played. You didn't go as far as he wanted so he bailed on you.

Um...Well, to be fair, he didnt call you after you kissed the first time. The whole 'Oh my phone doesnt work' thing was an on the spot lie.

As a male, this is pretty textbook. Not trying to be mean, but basically, he wanted you physically at first, the whole hugging and whatnot stuff. The kiss the first night meant nothing, it just put his foot in the door, but most likely he had other girls going on as well. He didnt need to call you because he was getting it somewhere else.

When he bumped into you again weeks later, all he did was lie and then kept the avenue of getting with you open by kissing you again...you just played into him like a book. Basically he's got you right where he wanted you.

Good stuff.

And the jury is in.

Well, chalk up another victory to us men, I suppose. Can I get a high five?