i'll never understand people that claim to find work satisfying in a way, and enjoy having something to do

work environments make me want to lash out and wreck ****

yeah. id rather have no obligations and create my day on my own.

[QUOTE=Nostalgia;17546948]all right sweet, thanks dude.

she was telling me the only places i can go to get offered a job is either seattle or san antonia, tx. What I'm gonna do later tomorrow is just go through the jobs lists\ she gave me and pick out 6 that I like. she told me she's seen a lot of guys wash out during the PAST spec ops and i was kinda surprised considering it doesnt seem that rigorous tbh[/QUOTE]

yep san antonio is where ill be doing my bmt. and the PAST, from what ive heard its not that anything you do is exceptionally hard, its just that youre sweating from sun up til sun down. like, nah, 65 pushups in a minute isnt hard at all. but after youve been running for 2 hours and just got through doing pullups, situps, and all kinds of other exercises for another 3 hours, theyre quite a bit harder than usual. most people just dont prepare themselves enough endurance-wise, they just make sure they can do everything when theyre fresh rather than when theyre fatigued already.

[QUOTE]work environments make me want to lash out and wreck ****[/QUOTE]

hey thats one reason i want to jump out of planes and kill people. i cannot ****ing stand work environments. only places ive worked are restaurants, but after a few weeks in a place i just begin to hate the sight of every co worker, manager, and customer. ive never been fired, but ive quit every job ive had on the spot in the middle of a shift haha.

structured life is cool

[QUOTE=Nepenthe;17546970]yep san antonio is where ill be doing my bmt. and the PAST, from what ive heard its not that anything you do is exceptionally hard, its just that youre sweating from sun up til sun down. like, nah, 65 pushups in a minute isnt hard at all. but after youve been running for 2 hours and just got through doing pullups, situps, and all kinds of other exercises for another 3 hours, theyre quite a bit harder than usual. most people just dont prepare themselves enough endurance-wise, they just make sure they can do everything when theyre fresh rather than when theyre fatigued already.[/QUOTE]

i actually started sweating half way through the post

yeah man my lips really loosen up when i start talking about military. i think its good though it means im finally excited for something in my life.

i dont even know if you meant because im posting long posts

i wish i had one specific realistic thing to get excited about

[QUOTE=Nepenthe;17546978]yeah man my lips really loosen up when i start talking about military. i think its good though it means im finally excited for something in my life.

i dont even know if you meant because im posting long posts[/QUOTE]

it was a self-degrading joke about me not being in good shape

yeah gotta admit i was getting a little tired of not giving a **** about anything

[QUOTE]it was a self-degrading joke about me not being in good shape[/QUOTE]

yeah i figured it out right after i posted

even though i give you **** about the whole military thing, its cool you found something you really want to do. not to get all gay about it, but it's interesting how much you've changed since the fiking thread days. you're wayyyy more focused.

couldnt agree more bro. its really the time in between those days and these that theres been the biggest change honestly. i posted a little in 07, but after i disappeared then things went farrrr downhill. got a million stories to tell, but things were bad man. im lucky to not be in jail, and even luckier to still be alive. like, no overexaggeration at all.

i need to post pics of my lancer after i totalled it. its unbelievable.

i feel like this year is my "downhill". its definitely the worst year ive ever had. maybe next year ill actually do something worthwhile (probably not)

my year has seen several accomplishments but mostly an excessive amount of fail

it gave me a lot to think about, tho

ugh life

its kinda like that darkest before the dawn **** yknow. theres always gotta be something bad to give way to good. id consider my (latest) car accident the lowest point of my life, i was doing absolutely nothing but selling weed and blacking out drinking every night until it happened. people like us, were content with **** like that, as long as were not being bothered in our ways, were content to just stick to our custom. it takes something big, a metaphorical slap in the face, to wake us up and get us where we really want/need to be going.

not saying that i hope something big and bad happens to you, just some words of encouragement to not let the current 'downhill' ruin your hopes. everything will come around eventually.

such spiritual words

i just experienced a metaphorical slap in the face of pretty outrageous proportions not long ago , like literally ****ed my whole **** up

does this mean that good things are coming ? :)

ive had 3 huge slap in the faces since like last summer and stuff changes for about a month, then just gets worse because of it. who knows.

not unless you use the slap in the face to fix the things that caused it. i mean, keep going down the same road and youll keep ending up in the same place. the point is to learn from the slap, find the wrist of the problem, and sever that bitchs hand so that it wont happen again.

[QUOTE]ive had 3 huge slap in the faces since like last summer and stuff changes for about a month, then just gets worse because of it. who knows.[/QUOTE]

same thing happened to me. after my first car accident, i got all cleaned up and got a good job and things seemed to be heading in the right direction. after a couple months though i just fell right back, picked up where i left off, and just went even further downhill. life just works in crazy *** ways like that. the thing is what was the 'right direction' at that time wasnt actually what i wanted. youre never going to be able to force yourself to do the right thing if its not what you want. you have to find your own 'right thing' yknow.

Meh, I'd say I've learned my lesson.

[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2z-OLG0KyR4[/url]

i think i've seen this before but lol

you guys :(

this is why I don't get too high or too low

but I guess I'm at a high right now

as soon as I do something stupid, I know I'll hit a low

my situation goes:

around july last year i decided to cut myself up and nearly bleed to death

this february my grandma died, and she's the closest anyone has been to me

a few months back my dad admitted he has ptsd and started on therapy and medicine for it. my gf made me realize my problems are pretty much ptsd related because of my dads influence. i act just like him and it causes tons of ****

now i just live fairly chaotic and do too many drugs

woo venting stuff at 5 am

[QUOTE]bleed to death[/QUOTE]

had to quote

i'm happier now then i've been for months

doing tonnes of exercise and eating right

[QUOTE=adb;17547013]had to quote[/QUOTE]

actually typed bled to death at first and was like nahhhh cant type that in r&m.

[QUOTE=Meatplow;17547014]i'm happier now then i've been for months

doing tonnes of exercise and eating right[/QUOTE]

same

my life right now is in that awkward stage where i just got over a rather tiring bout of overly suicidal depression and now i'm ready for new things in life but there doesn't seem to be anything around just yet

life is looking forward to something

imo

if you have nothing to look forward to, it's not worth living

i've been on a good path these past few weeks. up until about a month ago i was starting to get pretty stupidly morbid but now i'm relaxing and trying to enjoy thingz more

but i do need a job or a gf or rock band, something like that to keep me distracted

rock band, easily