[QUOTE=TimJim;17480599]dude go to therapy then[/QUOTE]

I am I started taking celexa about a week or so ago (probably not long enough for it to kick in yet) and am seeing a shrink on thursday and then probably gonna have regular appointments if she seems like she can help

edit: toad venom is just dmt if i'm not mistaken right? i heard licking it isn't as good as squishing out the venom and smoking it. at least that's what a dude was saying on a video in my geo class a couple years back haha

[QUOTE]smoke weed and not have a panic attack [/QUOTE]

elaborate a little more plz

[quote=honeydutchautopsy;17480611]I am I started taking celexa about a week or so ago (probably not long enough for it to kick in yet) and am seeing a shrink on thursday and then probably gonna have regular appointments if she seems like she can help[/quote]
oh thats good mate, i hope it works out for you.

the fact that youre having panic attacks from a downer like weed says something :(

[quote=honeydutchautopsy;17480611]
edit: toad venom is just dmt if i'm not mistaken right? i heard licking it isn't as good as squishing out the venom and smoking it. at least that's what a dude was saying on a video in my geo class a couple years back haha[/quote]http://www.erowid.org/animals/toads/toads_writings1.shtml

[QUOTE=TimJim;17480615]oh thats good mate, i hope it works out for you.

the fact that youre having panic attacks from a downer like weed says something :([/QUOTE]

well panic attacks from weed aren't necessarily unheard of. but the fact that i smoked it daily for 2 years and all the sudden i'm having panic attacks now and not to mention the panic attacks when i'm not on any drugs is a bit of a worry.

It's not really that kind of downer.

Weed gives me really terrible body feelings and it makes me have constant barrages of gruesome thoughts but I like it.

the only way to enjoy real jazz too

The only way to enjoy anything tbh

meh i like the world normal for daily life

[QUOTE=Nostalgia;17480641]the only way to enjoy real jazz too[/QUOTE]

hate to say it but those guys were all about the heron

i love me some jazz when i'm struggling not to nod out

i enjoy things more now that im sober than i did was i was drug riddled. only thing i use to enjoy was, well, drugs.

tbh trance is awesome when youre high

[QUOTE=Nepenthe;17480648]i enjoy things more now that im sober than i did was i was drug riddled. only thing i use to enjoy was, well, drugs.[/QUOTE]

yeah

see i've gotten away from the only enjoying drugs thing but i'm not really able to enjoy anything at this point unless it completely envelopes my mind from the outside world (i.e. instruments, video games)

I'm too depressive and ADHD-riddled to enjoy anything when I'm sober.

[QUOTE=honeydutchautopsy;17480657]yeah

see i've gotten away from the only enjoying drugs thing but i'm not really able to enjoy anything at this point unless it completely envelopes my mind from the outside world (i.e. instruments, video games)[/QUOTE]

i hear you there

i mean, my experience is a lot more extreme than the average person. ive been to jail a handful of times, rehab just as many, and used/sold as much as i could any and every day i wasnt in those places. but near the end, i started to feel so hollow. like, somebody would tell me something bad, something that should make you feel sad, and i just wouldnt. in my head id be going, 'thats sad, you should feel bad', but inside id just feel numb as usual. i stopped enjoying things id always enjoyed like music, games, reading, etc etc. my life, and all of my friends lives, revolved around the obtaining and using of drugs (to quote NA).

idk, i was just starting to feel disillusioned with everything and thought that by continuing to use i was making things as interesting as possible, i just didnt realize that it was the using that was making everything uninteresting. im just now finally starting to appreciate the finer things in life again.

[QUOTE=Nepenthe;17480668]i hear you there

i mean, my experience is a lot more extreme than the average person. ive been to jail a handful of times, rehab just as many, and used/sold as much as i could any and every day i wasnt in those places. but near the end, i started to feel so hollow. [B]like, somebody would tell me something bad, something that should make you feel sad, and i just wouldnt. in my head id be going, 'thats sad, you should feel bad', but inside id just feel numb as usual. [/B]i stopped enjoying things id always enjoyed like music, games, reading, etc etc. my life, and all of my friends lives, revolved around the obtaining and using of drugs (to quote NA).

idk, i was just starting to feel disillusioned with everything and thought that by continuing to use i was making things as interesting as possible, i just didnt realize that it was the using that was making everything uninteresting. im just now finally starting to appreciate the finer things in life again.[/QUOTE]

I definitely know that

that probably played the biggest part in my deciding to go sober. i was tired of being emotionless.

i cant really call myself sober, i do drink still. but not NEAR as much as i used to. and for me, just drinking occasionally is 9999999999999 times more sober than ive ever been the past 4 or 5 years.

[QUOTE=Nepenthe;17480677]that probably played the biggest part in my deciding to go sober. i was tired of being emotionless.

i cant really call myself sober, i do drink still. but not NEAR as much as i used to. and for me, just drinking occasionally is 9999999999999 times more sober than ive ever been the past 4 or 5 years.[/QUOTE]

yeah i know it would be worth it for me to quit drugs.

but damn is it hard =/

ugh that large bundle of sticks hasnt txtd back yet


****ING FILTER

he probably hates you

or he probably is stoned

[QUOTE=honeydutchautopsy;17480680]yeah i know it would be worth it for me to quit drugs.

but damn is it hard =/[/QUOTE]

that it is. i had a little help in the way of totalling a car while i was blacked out. for the second time. something as extreme as that is a really big wake up call. after the second time (which was just a few months ago), i knew i needed to change, or i was going to be dead or in jail before i could go anywhere in life.

[QUOTE=TimJim;17480683]or he probably is stoned[/QUOTE]
why would that keep you from texting some one

realistically

[QUOTE=TimJim;17480681]ugh that large bundle of sticks hasnt txtd back yet


****ING FILTER[/QUOTE]

I'LL TXT U BB:naughty:

[QUOTE=honeydutchautopsy;17480682]he probably hates you[/QUOTE]

^^^

good luck with quitting/getting to a level you want to be bro, sure it will be worth it

timjim you dont have to say ****ING FILTER every time theres a swear word in your post. we are all well aware of the filter and what it changes things to. youre just making yourself look even bigger a fool.

[QUOTE=Deth;17480687]^^^

good luck with quitting/getting to a level you want to be bro, sure it will be worth it[/QUOTE]

whoa wait

did you just give me words of encouragement or...

what just happened

he was being snide

I'm not going to be a douche when people are trying to improve their lives

except timjim

[QUOTE=honeydutchautopsy;17480690]whoa wait

did you just give me words of encouragement or...

what just happened[/QUOTE]
threw me off a little bit too

[quote=Nepenthe;17480689]timjim you dont have to say ****ING FILTER every time theres a swear word in your post. we are all well aware of the filter and what it changes things to. youre just making yourself look even bigger a fool.[/quote]
i know but its annoying :(

[QUOTE=Nostalgia;17480641]the only way to enjoy real jazz too[/QUOTE]

:lol: my dad got on his comp, read the convo, and posted this

[QUOTE=Deth;17480693]I'm not going to be a douche when people are trying to improve their lives

except timjim[/QUOTE]

oh

well then thank you

edit: lol@nostalgia

yeah man, good luck with it. i can tell you personally that it feels great on the other side.

[QUOTE=Nostalgia;17480696]:lol: my dad got on his comp, read the convo, and posted this[/QUOTE]

loool

your taste still kinda sucks though if that means anything

[quote=Nostalgia;17480696]:lol: my dad got on his comp, read the convo, and posted this[/quote]hahahaha

[QUOTE=Deth;17480701]your taste still kinda sucks though if that means anything[/QUOTE]

yes i take that as a compliment from you

I quit all drugs for six months once

I can tell you personally that there wasn't one enjoyable second

hahah i read that post like four times and was like "ok when the **** did i post this" :lol: