[QUOTE=KurtCobain2902]So I have been going out with this girl a little while (like 2 days) and I'm going to kiss her for the first time tomorrow. I was just wondering what time of day I should do it at. Usually, I get to school and see her before 1st period, then I see her after at lunch, and then I walk her to her bus after school. so, should I do it when I walk her to her bus or what? Also, is there any way to deal with the nervousness? It's insane how nervous I get. I was going to kiss her earlier, but I got too scared and pussied out.[/QUOTE]

i agree with AG, don't plan it.

And don't have your two's first kiss at school, take her out.

[QUOTE=Jom]Whatever...[/QUOTE]

I want the guy in your avatar. Who is it?

[QUOTE=ThePinkPanther]i agree with AG, don't plan it.

And don't have your two's first kiss at school, take her out.[/QUOTE]

I can't really take her out though. I don't have a car or anything, and we live like 15 miles apart. School is pretty much the only place...

[QUOTE=KurtCobain2902]So I have been going out with this girl a little while (like 2 days) and I'm going to kiss her for the first time tomorrow. I was just wondering what time of day I should do it at. Usually, I get to school and see her before 1st period, then I see her after at lunch, and then I walk her to her bus after school. so, should I do it when I walk her to her bus or what? Also, is there any way to deal with the nervousness? It's insane how nervous I get. I was going to kiss her earlier, but I got too scared and pussied out.[/QUOTE]
/agrees with what the others said.

Don't plan it. Just let it all come naturally, and it will be a better first kiss.

Ya!. Alright. Well Theres a girl i ahve been liking for some time now. But she has ahd a Boyfriend, so i don't wanna be a jerk and try to break them up, so im happy for her, but ya, I found out today that she talks about my all the time, and that "For some reason" her and her boyfriend are having troubles now, like big ones, so should I try and fix them just so she can be happy, or should I stay out, or should i just try to amke it worse.???

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]I want the guy in your avatar. Who is it?[/QUOTE]

: |

I may be legal, but there's nooooooooo way you should be lusting after the guy in my avatar.

[url=IT'S GINGER FROM THE WILDHEARTS LOL] [/url]

[QUOTE=White]Ya!. Alright. Well Theres a girl i ahve been liking for some time now. But she has ahd a Boyfriend, so i don't wanna be a jerk and try to break them up, so im happy for her, but ya, I found out today that she talks about my all the time, and that "For some reason" her and her boyfriend are having troubles now, like big ones, so should I try and fix them just so she can be happy, or should I stay out, or should i just try to amke it worse.???[/QUOTE]
This is what you need to do. (yay, I'm giving advice in here again)

If you like this girl, then you DEFINITELY do not need to be trying to help her relationship out. I mean, I'm not trying to sound wrong here, but you want it to end.
Now, as for trying to break it up, no.
If she realizes that this is what you're doing, she's gonna think you're an as[size=2]sshole[/size], and really only thinking of yourself.
Just flirt with her a bit, nothing wrong with that. She'll end up realizing your feelings, but without you having to do anything big, and if she breaks up with her boyfriend, then you'll be there for her.

And then, since they're having problems, there's always the chance that she'll break up with him FOR you.

[QUOTE=Wizard.]I want to go meet some new girls. The two girls I'm close to now aren't the kind of girls I want at the moment. I want someone just to have fun, that I can trust without worrying abuot. I don't want love, I just want fun, but not a slut or someone who is just going to dump me after a few weeks, I'd like it to last for awhile. I've never really gone "hunting" for a girl or whatever, usually I'm close friends with a girl before I date them. I'm not sure how I would go about meeting new people when I don't have school or anything, I'm I'm extremely antisocial. Any suggestions?[/QUOTE]
Respond 'cause you love me, and I modified slightly. Also, I will be getting a job soon, so I guess that should put me in a few more social situations.

When I'm out with people, I end up seeming like a jerk 'cause I don't know how to respond or start conversation, and I'm way nervous. I just never think of what to say when the time comes.

Also, I'm talking to tons of girls on Myspace, but I don't know how to take the initiative and see if they would like to meet up at a local show or something, lol. Myspace makes it easier to say what I should though, but I don't know how I can make someone moderately interested in me through the internet.

I don't really know what I'm asking, but if all I just typed makes sense, give me some pointers.

How old are you, Wizard?

17 :/

I'm Dmaien Rhodes, if you don't remember.

Meh, mySpazz is pretty scary, even for girls. I got this message today from some girl with bigger boobs than my head... and I wear a size 8 hat comfortably:

[i]Hi :) I like your profile!!!
Have u heard about "Do you like"? It is very funny site. The thing is, they show you a pic of a girls and ask if u like them. You answer Yes or No. If you do they send them your pic and ask the same. If you both like eachother you can get in-touch and meet up.
Do you like me???
if yes you will be my future sympathy![/i]

... well, isn't that lovely. This slut's a few sausages short of a barbecue, as if you couldn't tell already.

My favorite part was the last line: [b][Y]ou will be my future sympathy![/b]

I've pondered this for about 12.8 seconds. How the hell does she know that she's supposed to take pity on me? A future "sympathy?" Wouldn't that set a red flag off for you? Heh, whatever.

Oh, and did she mean her future [i]symphony[/i]?

Maybe she plays the porkflute, I don't know. I'm not desperate enough to find out.

However, I do propose the following scenario of some poor soul who responds to Balloon Boobs:

"So, baby, what do you look for in a guy?"

Future Sympathy Girl: "My FIST!"

"Wwwwwwhhhhhhaaaaaaaaattttttttttt!"

///

Right, so that was my thought of the day.

Damien: you can't think of it as "going hunting." I know you didn't mean it literally, but you should consider Steerpike's boot-camp-esque keeping a journal. There are lots of ways to start a conversation with someone.

You can't really interest a girl if you don't talk to her. PERIOD.

You can't interest a girl if you are boring.

A girl doesn't have to be 'interested' in you to talk to you. And the more you talk to them, the more likely they are to become interested... unless you suck, of course :-D

I promise you, I have never had a girlfriend that I didn't talk to prior to being with her. Further, I promise that failing with a girl you 'like' will not cause you any health problems... and if it does, take that as sign that you are over-reacting.

To continue, it's going to be very rare that you ever approach a girl who has already decided she likes you (unless you look like an underwear model).

Lucky for us normal guys, girls are fickle. They like what they like when they like it. So, just because they are cold initially doesn't mean you fail. But, a result of that is also that you have to be able to recognize the opportunities when you have them. THAT is what you should be focusing your energies on... talking to them should not be difficult if you have any confidence in yourself, whatsoever.

Unless you are a boring person.

///

One easy thing to do is to pick out something about them and just ask them about it. Anything will do. It doesn't necessarily have to be a compliment or anything like that. Just something that will evoke a response from them.

It's been my experience that, "Hey! What's up?" is a [i]terrible[/i] way to start a conversation. I'm not saying it doesn't work, but I find that the other way is more effective. You're trying to make an impression, so why say the same thing that every other guy has said to her today... you know?

The opportunities I was talking about are like when to ask them out, when to kiss them first, sex, etc. The trouble there is that they want you to do those things when they want you to do them and if you blow it, that can ruin the whole thing. Use that for perspective.

If you screw it up when you're first talking to them, what do you lose? A few minutes... once you have something invested in them, that's when there is a lot at stake.

(Modified but pretty much straight out of the book of ikikdababy.)

[QUOTE=Wizard.]17 :/

I'm Dmaien Rhodes, if you don't remember.[/QUOTE]
Oh yeah, that's right.

Well, hang out at places like malls. Summer's coming up, hang out at water parks and stuff.

And, I mean, there's still school and stuff like that. Go with friends to movies. There's so many oppurtunities for you to meet girls it's unbelievable.

[QUOTE=Jom]: |

I may be legal, but there's nooooooooo way you should be lusting after the guy in my avatar.

[url=IT'S GINGER FROM THE WILDHEARTS LOL] [/url][/QUOTE]
Lol at hidden-ness.

At first I thought it was W.K but I realized the hair was different.

lol, where I live, we don't have malls or really anywhere else where people go to hang out. There's a movie theater, but I'm extremely uncomfortable since I don't know a single person that goes there.

And I don't have many friends. I have two female friends, and both are interested in me and I've been with both of them recently, and both are now wanting something serious with me, and I don't want that with either one of them, but I still want them as friends, so I'm trying to stay away from them and their circle of friends. I have one male friend, and he's one of those computer nerds that has even worse luck with this stuff than I do. Other than that, I have no real friends and nobody to hang out with.

I forgot my point. I'm sorry, I'm really scatterbrained lately.

[QUOTE=KurtCobain2902]I can't really take her out though. I don't have a car or anything, and we live like 15 miles apart. School is pretty much the only place...[/QUOTE]

No offense, but if you two stick to an only in school relationship, it won't be too fun/last very long.

[QUOTE=ThePinkPanther]No offense, but if you two stick to an only in school relationship, it won't be too fun/last very long.[/QUOTE]
I did that when I was around 13 and it lasted longer than all the ones I've had since.

[QUOTE]You can't really interest a girl if you don't talk to her. PERIOD.

You can't interest a girl if you are boring.

A girl doesn't have to be 'interested' in you to talk to you. And the more you talk to them, the more likely they are to become interested... unless you suck, of course :-D[/QUOTE]
Oh, I know this. I just can't get a girl interested in me enough to talk to me, and if I can't even get that far, I'm not going to be able to get her interested in me any other ways. I think I'm boring, so what can I do to fix that? Other people don't tell me I'm boring or anything, but I never seem to say much or say anything funny or witty, so I seem boring to me.

[QUOTE]To continue, it's going to be very rare that you ever approach a girl who has already decided she likes you (unless you look like an underwear model).[/QUOTE]
I don't think that ever happens to me. Usually, I'm friends with a girl first, through mutual friends that led me to meet them, so breaking the ice with them was easy. I want to be able to break the ice myself.

[QUOTE]The opportunities I was talking about are like when to ask them out, when to kiss them first, sex, etc. The trouble there is that they want you to do those things when they want you to do them and if you blow it, that can ruin the whole thing. Use that for perspective.[/QUOTE]
I'm not worried about when to make moves on them. Once something progresses far enough thaht I know a girl likes me, I'm fine. I just don't know how to break the ice and see if I can get the girl interested in meany more than just a friend.

Alright, you may already know some of this, but...

First of all, you need to figure out what it is you want in a woman, what qualities you want. Then you need to think about where people with those qualities go. Once you figure out where the women are, go there.

Next, you need to become the most interesting person you can be. Were you here to see my whole schtick on keeping a journal?

Get a thick notebook with a sturdy cover and record on one page all of your strengths and weaknesses, and how you can improve and fix them respectively. Write down good stories you can tell. Jot down maxims and phrases that give you a confidence boost. Map out a game plan to establishing your ideal image. Write down common situations you find yourself in and conversation topics you can use.

Figure out what qualities the sort of women you want are attracted to and find out how you can develop those qualities in yourself.

The most important thing you can do for yourself is to continually make yourself as interesting as possible to women. Believe it or not, watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy can be very helpful. They do offer a lot of self-improvement tips that any guy can find very useful.

Also invest in the book "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" by Susan Jeffers. It's not like all of those ridiculous pop-psychology books on the market these days. It was written by an actual PhD in psychology and a licensed therapist.

Flirt and tease women, have fun with it. If you just make idle small talk like every other guy she met that day, then she's going to file you along with all the others.

It's a lot of work, but it's ultimately worth it.

Talking does evoke romance. Your job is to keep your eyes open for those opportunities. I told you that's what you need to be worrying about... talking to her is the easy part.

As far as your confidence goes, keep in mind you can't always get what you want. If it doesn't happen for you, the only thing you can do is shrug it off. And if you can't shrug it off, you're making more of it than you should. If failing with a girl makes you want to write an emo song, that means you attached yourself entirely too quickly. And, believe me, you don't know the meaning of awkward until sex enters the equation.

If you ask a girl on a date and she shuts you down, no worries. If the girl has any class at all, she'll let you down easily and she won't bring it up again and things will go right back to the way they were before.

But, you should never ask a girl on a date before you've hung out with her alone. Take baby steps when at all possible.

So for this girl (whoever she may be), step one is to talk to her on a somewhat-regular basis. If you have any mutual friends (okay, I know you said you don't, but bear with me), get them all together and do something a couple times. Some people disagree with me here, but I prefer to make friends with a girl before I try dating her. Some guys don't want to be friends with their girlfriend. That's not me. But the key is for you to pay her some attention and more importantly, to keep her attention.

There's a fine line between enough and too much... it's just another part of the ridiculous man-woman dynamic, but hey, what are we going to do?

Again, it doesn't take a whole lot to start a conversation so long as you don't go in thinking you're going to fail/lose. Just make an observation to get some kind of response out of her. Again, "Hey, what's up?" doesn't go very well for me because it just goes to "I'm okay, and you?" and then it goes to "Yeah, not bad" and then there's silence. Believe me, I struggle with this allllllll the time talking to friends from back home or at other schools because I can't see them. But I just try to say something interesting or mention a common interest or talk about something in the past to get something going. If you smack the rocks together enough times, you'll ignite a spark of some kind. It's a matter of patience. And remember, you can't always get what you want, and that's just how life is. So long as you can accept that, you can't lose all the time.

(last paragraph in addenum to the book of ikikdababy).

How do you flirt with a girl? I mean, I have no problem when I'm friendly with a girl and I'm confident she likes me already, but what about girls I'm just now meeting?

Like, what exactly should I do if I see an attractive girl standing around at a local show? I wouldn't want to seem awkward or bore her, but I have no clue what I would say to her.

I remember the book thing now, and while that may help me in the long run, I am just wanting to go out and have fun right now because I need to get out immediately. I want some quick tips to help me out, not something to try and better myself totally yet. I will learn plenty through trial and error, but I can do the journal idea on the side.

[QUOTE=Wizard.]How do you flirt with a girl? I mean, I have no problem when I'm friendly with a girl and I'm confident she likes me already, but what about girls I'm just now meeting?[/quote]

Tease her like she's already your friend. Make it seem like [i]she's[/i] trying to pick up [i]you[/i].

If she starts fishing for compliments, make a joke about it.

Be funny! And if you don't know how to be funny, start rehearsing mentally, write down some general responses, and watch some more stand-up comedians.

[quote]Like, what exactly should I do if I see an attractive girl standing around at a local show? I wouldn't want to seem awkward or bore her, but I have no clue what I would say to her.[/quote]

That's pretty nebulous, which is probably what's hurting you. The more vagueness you give yourself, the harder it is to find a place to start. Best to find a certain quality about the location, the band, or her that you can bring up as a conversation opener and lace with a few jokes.

[quote]I remember the book thing now, and while that may help me in the long run, I am just wanting to go out and have fun right now because I need to get out immediately. I want some quick tips to help me out, not something to try and better myself totally yet. I will learn plenty through trial and error, but I can do the journal idea on the side.[/QUOTE]

What's your email address? I can give you much more indepth answers on that in an email and it's more convenient to read at your leisure.

[QUOTE=Jom]Talking does evoke romance. Your job is to keep your eyes open for those opportunities. I told you that's what you need to be worrying about... talking to her is the easy part.

As far as your confidence goes, keep in mind you can't always get what you want. If it doesn't happen for you, the only thing you can do is shrug it off. And if you can't shrug it off, you're making more of it than you should. If failing with a girl makes you want to write an emo song, that means you attached yourself entirely too quickly. And, believe me, you don't know the meaning of awkward until sex enters the equation.

If you ask a girl on a date and she shuts you down, no worries. If the girl has any class at all, she'll let you down easily and she won't bring it up again and things will go right back to the way they were before.

But, you should never ask a girl on a date before you've hung out with her alone. Take baby steps when at all possible.

So for this girl (whoever she may be), step one is to talk to her on a somewhat-regular basis. If you have any mutual friends (okay, I know you said you don't, but bear with me), get them all together and do something a couple times. Some people disagree with me here, but I prefer to make friends with a girl before I try dating her. Some guys don't want to be friends with their girlfriend. That's not me. But the key is for you to pay her some attention and more importantly, to keep her attention.

There's a fine line between enough and too much... it's just another part of the ridiculous man-woman dynamic, but hey, what are we going to do?

Again, it doesn't take a whole lot to start a conversation so long as you don't go in thinking you're going to fail/lose. Just make an observation to get some kind of response out of her. Again, "Hey, what's up?" doesn't go very well for me because it just goes to "I'm okay, and you?" and then it goes to "Yeah, not bad" and then there's silence. Believe me, I struggle with this allllllll the time talking to friends from back home or at other schools because I can't see them. But I just try to say something interesting or mention a common interest or talk about something in the past to get something going. If you smack the rocks together enough times, you'll ignite a spark of some kind. It's a matter of patience. And remember, you can't always get what you want, and that's just how life is. So long as you can accept that, you can't lose all the time.

(last paragraph in addenum to the book of ikikdababy).[/QUOTE]
Jom, I have no problem asking girls out and I have no issues with sex or being nervous from that point on. You said I need to take baby-steps before I even get to ask a girl out, but I just can't do those baby steps. I know I need to talk to the girl on a regular basis and be fiends with her before I can make a move, but I am not any good at getting through those baby steps. I've never really had to do it. Now thta I'm thinking about this, all my past girlfriends or girls I did anythign with were sort of handed to me. We normally meet through mutual friends, and from there we were already comfortable and friendly with each other, then I'd make a move.

I was with that one girl for a year, and when I met her, I completely changed and cut off all contact form my former friends. I am now a different peson than I was back then, and now I have no friends, and I'm not any good at making new ones.

I am just having trouble TALKING to girls. I don't need assisstance if I can get on friendly terms with them. Right now.since I don't have anywhere to hang out, I'm using Myspace to talk to people, but I don't know how to make friends, and even if I did, I don't know how to keep myself interesting enough so that a girl would want to say yes if I asked them if they wanted to hang out, or even date if it got that far.

[B]Steerpike:[/B] [email]Damien.Rhodes@Gmail.com[/email]


So, how exactly do I be funnny? lol, I'm not very witty, and I'm overly sarcastic. I don't see how watching standup would help...

I'll explain in an email tomorrow.

Can I just say that I totally disagree with Alex's thoughts? I'm a girl and what he's got to say would make me totally walk away. Just my thoughts on it, and no offense to him.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Can I just say that I totally disagree with Alex's thoughts? I'm a girl and what he's got to say would make me totally walk away. Just my thoughts on it, and no offense to him.[/QUOTE]
What do you suggest I do to "break the ice" with girls that have no previous association with?

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Can I just say that I totally disagree with Alex's thoughts? I'm a girl and what he's got to say would make me totally walk away. Just my thoughts on it, and no offense to him.[/QUOTE]

This is actually stuff a couple friends of mine who are very good with women have taught me. No one idea works for everybody, but I've seen them act this way around women, and they've never gotten a bad reaction.

This is really just proof that you can't expect everyone to follow the same frame of mind.

Yeah, about that stalker chick, even when I had a girlfriend she didn't back the f[size=2]u[/size]ck off.

[QUOTE=Wizard.]What do you suggest I do to "break the ice" with girls that have no previous association with?[/QUOTE]

Hi, how are you? Are you liking (book, music, movie)?

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Hi, how are you? Are you liking (book, music, movie)?[/QUOTE]
So pretty much say the same lame things you would say to anyone else? That's not very interesting or fun. :/

Might not be interesting or fun, but it's effective.