[QUOTE=dazmo]I dont usually post my L&R things on here but here goes:
I've liked this chick for a while now, we always flirt and we hang out after skool. Shes a year older than me but she looks like the same age as me. So anyway i was talking to her on the phone the other night and she was really hypo and her mum yelled @ her to get off the phone so she did n she sent me a message saying "I need to tell you something"

So i 4got about that message until yesterday on the bus (she lives around the corner from me), so i ask her about it, n she says d/w i might tell you later. so we were talking yesterday arvo, n i finally got it out of her that the thing was that she liked me.

So I told her i liked her to, after she got all embarrassed about telling me, n then we say we dunno wats gonna happen coz we dont wanna ruin our friendship coz we hav so much fun. and now we wait.[/QUOTE]
Okay.
What you need to do is convince her that the two of you getting together won't ruin the friendship. But don't lie to her, convince yourself too.
If the two of you are good enough friends, and the relationship is a good one for however long it lasts, then the friendship shouldn't be affected in the long run.
I say you ask her out, and see how things go.

.... whered the "you spam, jom smash :smash:" go?


:(

[QUOTE=The Fonz].... whered the "you spam, jom smash :smash:" go?


:([/QUOTE]
It went with Jom when he left. :(

[QUOTE=Tillius]It went with Jom when he left. :([/QUOTE]



[SIZE="5"]Whoaaaaaaaaaaaa, what?[/SIZE]

When'd this happen, i don't remember this, who where what? but...

:upset::upset::upset:

/cries

Just check up on some of the more recent threads around here.
You'll see.

Yes, it sucks, badly.

[QUOTE=Tillius]Just check up on some of the more recent threads around here.
You'll see.

Yes, it sucks, badly.[/QUOTE]


awww mannnn :(

p.s, did you ever find out what 30,000 is?


edit- either way, here it is.

there were more, like how he knocked up his GF and stuff.

[url]http://www.sputnikmusic.com/forums/showthread.php?p=12192236#post12192236[/url]

That thread will give you some insight as to Jom's leaving.

30,000 is a joke because some user awhile ago wanted to record 30,000 cds of his music.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive][url]http://www.sputnikmusic.com/forums/showthread.php?p=12192236#post12192236[/url]

That thread will give you some insight as to Jom's leaving.

30,000 is a joke because some user awhile ago wanted to record 30,000 cds of his music.[/QUOTE]


Kimmie wats ur AIM?

Aha, thanks to both of ye.

chaindrivekimmie

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]chaindrivekimmie[/QUOTE]


thanks

mines aakonkeetreh123

[quote=Kimmie]
chaindrivekimmie[/quote]
/adds

I'm not on unless someone requests it because it's my least favorite of the IM programs.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]I'm not on unless someone requests it because it's my least favorite of the IM programs.[/QUOTE]


Wanna talk on there?

Also try the program trillian, you can be on all the messengers at once.

I know about trillian but I don't have that many contacts. So it probably wouldn't improve my IMing experience.

I prefer Yahoo to anything else.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]I know about trillian but I don't have that many contacts. So it probably wouldn't improve my IMing experience.

I prefer Yahoo to anything else.[/QUOTE]


Wanna talk on yahoo?

Mine is [email]theorcs2000@yahoo.com[/email]

I'll add you.

[QUOTE=The Fonz]as for your girl, i recomend, since you flirt with her, compliment her alot, make her feel real skinny and pretty, then offer her a little something, and either start to offer her more, or if she refuses keep trying, but stay sensitive to her.[/QUOTE]
I do all that, and I never really noticed her not eating or anything. She didn't come out and tell me she was bulimic. She said she was sick, and I asked why. She said she makes herself sick, because she's not pretty enough. We haven't gone out to eat or anything, so I haven't had a chance to offer her food. I guess all I can do is make her feel like she's pretty enough, 'cause she really is. =\

[QUOTE=Fire Whispers]What exactly is anorexia?

I don't really understand it, I get bulemia though..

Is there a difference between anorexia and just being really underweight?[/QUOTE]
I'm not too sure. I think bulimia is when the person purposely pukes and goes on binge dieting, while anorexia is where the person just refuses to eat.

And what do I do about the annoying girl?

[QUOTE=Damien Rhodes]I do all that, and I never really noticed her not eating or anything. She didn't come out and tell me she was bulimic. She said she was sick, and I asked why. She said she makes herself sick, because she's not pretty enough. We haven't gone out to eat or anything, so I haven't had a chance to offer her food. I guess all I can do is make her feel like she's pretty enough, 'cause she really is. =\[/QUOTE]

Working with eating disorders is very tricky. You can't negotiate with people like that. If you compliment them, they just keep doing it. They think it's working, or they think you're lying. If you try to bribe them, they resent you.

The first step is to act normal. Don't treat her differently because of her eating disorder. You still need to convince her to seek counceling. There's a reason professional therapists spend 6 or 7 years of education before getting their license to practice.

[QUOTE=Steerpike]The first step is to act normal. Don't treat her differently because of her eating disorder. You still need to convince her to seek counceling. There's a reason professional therapists spend 6 or 7 years of education before getting their license to practice.[/QUOTE]

Quoted for truth.

Eating disorders can be and usually are very complex problems that go deeper than just the fact that the person feels they are too fat or too skinny. Your best bet is to gain her trust and help her by getting her to seek counseling. If you try to aid her yourself you may unknowingly make it worse.

[QUOTE=Steerpike]Working with eating disorders is very tricky. You can't negotiate with people like that. If you compliment them, they just keep doing it. They think it's working, or they think you're lying. If you try to bribe them, they resent you.

The first step is to act normal. Don't treat her differently because of her eating disorder. You still need to convince her to seek counceling. There's a reason professional therapists spend 6 or 7 years of education before getting their license to practice.[/QUOTE]
I'm not really treating her any different. She already gets compliments. Should I stop that? I'm waiting for her to call, 'cause I think we're going out tonight if her parents let her. Should I try to take her to get some food, or just stick to a movie or whatever?

[QUOTE=Damien Rhodes]I'm not really treating her any different. She already gets compliments. Should I stop that?[/quote]

Just act as if everything is normal.

[quote]Should I try to take her to get some food,[/QUOTE]

If that's what you would normally do, sure. But for god's sake, avoid like the plague any comments on what she does or doesn't eat. Even though you have to act normally, you need to remember that she's in an emotional state where she internalizes that sort of thing in the unhealthiest way imaginable.

[QUOTE=Damien Rhodes]I'm not too sure. I think bulimia is when the person purposely pukes and goes on binge dieting, while anorexia is where the person just refuses to eat.

And what do I do about the annoying girl?[/QUOTE]
I know what bulemia is..

Anorexia was just confusing me. I suppose I get it now.

Thanks Eli & Damien.

Why is so much trouble being invested in helping this girl?

Do you want to sleep with her or what?

[QUOTE=Tiger]Why is so much trouble being invested in helping this girl?

Do you want to sleep with her or what?[/QUOTE]
Because I'm somewhat interested in her, and she's a friend. It has nothing to do with sleeping with her.

I'm just going to act normal. I don't really see how that's going to help her get over it or anything, and I don't really want to bring the subject back up, but I'll suggest she gets professional help if I ever get a chance to.

[QUOTE=Tiger]Why is so much trouble being invested in helping this girl?

Do you want to sleep with her or what?[/QUOTE]

Generally, you can't really say your someone's friend if you show absolutely no interest whatsoever in their physical and mental health.

Oh okay.

Shes a friend. Well then, really, all of this beating around the bush with it is not going to help in any way, it will remain an issue that hurts her for a very long time, if not her entire life.

Get the girl helped now by a third party, or youre not acting like a friend at all, end of story.

That's already been established.

[QUOTE=Tiger]Oh okay.

Shes a friend. Well then, really, all of this beating around the bush with it is not going to help in any way, it will remain an issue that hurts her for a very long time, if not her entire life.

Get the girl helped now by a third party, or youre not acting like a friend at all, end of story.[/QUOTE]

In most cases, yes. But eating disorders work a little differently. Moreso than any other mental illness, people with these disorders will dig their heels in unless you use a very light touch.

It's extremely difficult to deal with, because they think that anyone trying to help them is only perpetuating their percieved physical inadequacies. You need to have their unconditional trust first. Once you have that, you need to very delicately persuade them to speak to a doctor and that's when they get help. It's a rough process.

Everytime I've ever seen or heard of anyone who immediately leaped on the problem of a friend or loved one's eating disorder as soon as it became apparent, they made it worse. That's why these disorders are still such huge problems.

You need to use tact. You can't just throw them at a doctor with all the finesse of a meatgrinder and expect it to work.

I think im getting bored of my gf. I just cant find anything to talk about anymore. She doesnt helo either cuz she doesnt talk that much either. Ugh.

[QUOTE=Aakon_Keetreh]I think im getting bored of my gf. I just cant find anything to talk about anymore. She doesnt helo either cuz she doesnt talk that much either. Ugh.[/QUOTE]
Do stupid stuff every day and then tell her about it. Just don't get in trouble.

[QUOTE=fuzzyhair]Do stupid stuff every day and then tell her about it. Just don't get in trouble.[/QUOTE]

I already do :(

Well, move on.

For those of you interested in my problem:

My guitar player lost his job last July. Since he was living in my rental and my band was working steadily I figured that he could pay his rent and utilities out of gig money. Which he did for awhile.

October rolls around. Chaindrive does a freebie for a showcase. We had a gig the night before and one that night after the freebie. Guitar player gets drunk during the freebie and is a no call no show for the paying gig. Luckily another guitar player that we've jammed with sat in for us. It wasn't great (no rehearsal) but it got the job done for the most part.

At this point my guitar player, in his whole career, has never missed a gig. But now he has. I'm thinking it's going downhill.

A couple of months later he can't keep up with the rent and utilities. But I let him stay there anyway. He promises he's getting a job. Yeah, right.

We play a gig in January then the drummer wants a vacation. I replace him with another drummer. In the meantime my guitar player is getting more and more spun. "I'm not on drugs" he repeatedly claims. Well, he might be able to get someone a little younger and inexperienced than me to believe it, but I don't.

We play a gig in March. He's so spun that he can barely concentrate on his job at hand. I can't have this anymore and tell him he's gotta move out. He says he'll still play with the band and he's not on drugs.

We haven't had a guitar player since then. My girlfriend and her boyfriend want to move into the rental, but I don't have time to clean it. She says she'll clean it. She comes over this morning after cleaning last night and tells me there's no end to the paraphernalia she's found that he left.

He owes me almost $2000 and now I have to find another guitar player.

I think that your bandmate problem is worse then mine. Basically, my guitar player is a drug addict/dealer who is increasingly getting more unbearable, but so far he has been pretty commited to the band, and has never missed shows or anything.

Maybe your guitar player will straighten up.

I'm certain that my guitar player will not straighten up without a serious intervention. His daughter, the light of his life, doesn't even want to see him anymore.

Right now, I doubt he's gonna clean up. All of his friends, and even his parents encourage it. Hell, his dad was the one who got him started smoking pot. Both of his parents have jailed twice for making and selling meth.

I don't mind if the kid wants to smoke pot occasionly and have a good time, but I think that it's a little ridiculous when he thinks that he has to do everything while being high. There is always people at his house, because theres always drugs there, and its a pretty safe place to do them. Thats a bit of a problem because that causes quite a bit of a distraction, and he doesn't practice, which he needs because he's really not very good. At least not very good compared to the other guitar player, and often has trouble keeping up.

Also, I seriously think that he might be dyslexic. It doesn't seem like he thinks things through before he does them. Either that or he is just plain stupid.

Hopefully when we move to Arizona, things will get better, but right now he just annoys the hell out of me.

That's right, you're moving to AZ. Where are you now?

Although I've never done drugs (liquor is quicker) I don't mind a band member smokin' a bowl or whatever, but I just hate the hard ****. And I know what you mean by there's always a 7/11 at his house. Been there, done that.

Right now I'm living in Des Moines, Iowa. :-/

Also, another thing. He thinkgs that he's too "cool" or whatever to sell out and make a Myspace profile. So to get around it, he just uses the bands Myspace as his personal one. I find it pretty disgusing when theres all of these creepy messages that he sends to these random girls, about hooking up and stuff. He's pretty perverted, actually all of the guys in his family are. His dad blatanly hits on high school girls and stuff, it's pretty messed up. The worst part about him being a perve, is the fact that he is downright ugly. I feel bad for the girls that have to get hit on by his big and dumb looking goofy face.

Holy [size=2]s[/size]hit. That's totally unprofessional, especially with his dad hitting on the high school girls. I don't have a myspace (Chaindrive has their own website) so I don't know this, but can you change the band's myspace password so they can't get on it?

That needs to stop, right now.