[QUOTE=ThePinkPanther]so...that date when just [I]fuc[I]k[/I]ing[/I] great. She kinda broke up with me. Reasoning being i loved her and she only liked me, not loved. Weird thing being it took like...2 hours to decide if we were actually broken up or not because we're both very A.D.D. We still went to dinner cause:
1. i was hungry
2. we had nothing better to do and i didn't want her to leave.

even though we just ordered one appetizer and split that. For some reason i don't feel like total shiite because she mentioned that we should break up at 4:30, and we actually broke up around 6 something, then we left at 8. I think it's gonna hit me like a ton of bricks pretty soon though.[/QUOTE]

When you least expect it it's gonna smack you down. But it's not the end of the world.

Always remember this: stuff like this happens. It won't kill you, although you'll be pretty unhappy for awhile.

And, she may decide that she doesn't want to be without you.

[QUOTE=Banshee]Ah man, i'm sorry.
I know how your feeling. But try not to get to down, if it does suddenly hit you.
Life goes on man.[/QUOTE]
Quoted for truth. It sucks, but hey, not much you can do about it. All the best to you.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]When you least expect it it's gonna smack you down. But it's not the end of the world.

Always remember this: stuff like this happens. It won't kill you, although you'll be pretty unhappy for awhile.

And, she may decide that she doesn't want to be without you.[/QUOTE]

Yeah she may. She said she still likes me, but not how i liked her. I'm 4 outta 4 for me being dumped. The fact that i haven't broken up with someone i think makes it worse.

[QUOTE=ThePinkPanther]Yeah she may. She said she still likes me, but not how i liked her. I'm 4 outta 4 for me being dumped. The fact that i haven't broken up with someone i think makes it worse.[/QUOTE]

I would disagree... at least you've been involved in relationships and have learned and so on. I'm sure people would rather be in four relationships that end with them getting dumped than not being in a relationship at all - those memories and experiences can't be BS'd.

[QUOTE=Jom]I would disagree... at least you've been involved in relationships and have learned and so on. I'm sure people would rather be in four relationships that end with them getting dumped than not being in a relationship at all - those memories and experiences can't be BS'd.[/QUOTE]

Oh i know i'm glad i was in a relationship. But the fact that i'm always the one dumped is whats bad, not the actual relationship.

Well..Don’t go out with a girl so you can dump her lol. This is gonna’ sound gay, but..Just try harder next time, though that’s never worked for me.. (Terrible advice ftw)

[QUOTE=Lightning Strikes Twice]Well..Don’t go out with a girl so you can dump her lol. [/QUOTE]

Not what i meant.

[QUOTE=Lightning Strikes Twice]
This is gonna’ sound gay, but..Just try harder next time, though that’s never worked for me.. (Terrible advice ftw)[/QUOTE]

um...right. try harder...cause i was lazy before.

[QUOTE=ThePinkPanther]um...right. try harder...cause i was lazy before.[/QUOTE]I’ll take that as sarcasm..But yeah..I’m sorry I can’t help any more than that, I told you though, it was terrible advice.

Yeah, that wasn't particularly great advice, but he didn't mean to be insulting.

I may be in the minority here, but I don't see why getting dumped is such a bad thing unless you have no clue why it happened. When I was dumped by my last girlfriend, I knew exactly why I was dumped - and I deserved it. It was one of those situations where we both knew it was hopeless, but while I wanted to try to make something that wasn't there work, she was the smarter one and ended it. But the thing is, I knew why she did, and I wasn't bitter about it, just bitter that it had to happen because of me.

This doesn't really make things better, and I'm not contesting that it doesn't suck, but yeah, give yourself some time to breathe and look back on things, and then decide where you want to from here. And even then, she might even change her mind.

[QUOTE=Jom]Yeah, that wasn't particularly great advice, but he didn't mean to be insulting.

I may be in the minority here, but I don't see why getting dumped is such a bad thing unless you have no clue why it happened. When I was dumped by my last girlfriend, I knew exactly why I was dumped - and I deserved it. It was one of those situations where we both knew it was hopeless, but while I wanted to try to make something that wasn't there work, she was the smarter one and ended it. But the thing is, I knew why she did, and I wasn't bitter about it, just bitter that it had to happen because of me.

This doesn't really make things better, and I'm not contesting that it doesn't suck, but yeah, give yourself some time to breathe and look back on things, and then decide where you want to from here. And even then, she might even change her mind.[/QUOTE]
Well..What I was getting at was..If you know what you did wrong, maybe next time if it can be fixed, you know what you’ve gotta’ not do this time around..

[QUOTE=Lightning Strikes Twice]Well..What I was getting at was..If you know what you did wrong, maybe next time if it can be fixed, you know what you’ve gotta’ not do this time around..[/QUOTE]

See the thing is. What i did wrong was liking her more than she liked me. And she felt bad because of it.

[QUOTE=ThePinkPanther]See the thing is. What i did wrong was liking her more than she liked me. And she felt bad because of it.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, that's fine, but you have to file that under "Things you can't control." It'd be one thing if you ran over her cat or slept with someone else, but you didn't. You can't force her into reciprocating love. And sure, it sucks/hurts for you, but you'll get over it as soon as you start the healing process.

[QUOTE=ThePinkPanther]See the thing is. What i did wrong was liking her more than she liked me. And she felt bad because of it.[/QUOTE]

Sorry it didn't work out dude. But you never know what's next, she may yet turn around.

How long had you two been together? Did things move really fast or at a steady pace?

[QUOTE=Jom]Yeah, that's fine, but you have to file that under "Things you can't control." It'd be one thing if you ran over her cat or slept with someone else, but you didn't. You can't force her into reciprocating love. And sure, it sucks/hurts for you, but you'll get over it as soon as you start the healing process.[/QUOTE]At least we assume he didn’t run over her cat..If you did R.I.P Snuffles :’(

But yeah..Nothing you can do about it.

[QUOTE=Jom]Yeah, that's fine, but you have to file that under "Things you can't control." It'd be one thing if you ran over her cat or slept with someone else, but you didn't. You can't force her into reciprocating love. And sure, it sucks/hurts for you, but you'll get over it as soon as you start the healing process.[/QUOTE]

Yeah yeah i know. I'm not as sad right now as i was when my last girlfriend broke up with me, which is weird cause i've been going out with my now ex for a hell of a lot longer than my one before that and i liked this one more.

[QUOTE=Jo Shoe Wah]Sorry it didn't work out dude. But you never know what's next, she may yet turn around.

How long had you two been together? Did things move really fast or at a steady pace?[/QUOTE]

It would've been 3 months on friday. Not too long, but it seemed longer. I would say steadyish. Maybe a little bit faster than that but not really fast.

[QUOTE=ThePinkPanther]Yeah yeah i know. I'm not as sad right now as i was when my last girlfriend broke up with me, which is weird cause i've been going out with my now ex for a hell of a lot longer than my one before that and i liked this one more.



It would've been 3 months on friday. Not too long, but it seemed longer. I would say steadyish. Maybe a little bit faster than that but not really fast.[/QUOTE]

Ohk well it seems your attachment just grew faster than hers i guess. Maybe give it a little break and she might wanna have another go at it?

[QUOTE=ThePinkPanther]See the thing is. What i did wrong was liking her more than she liked me. And she felt bad because of it.[/QUOTE]

There are so many things wrong with this statement.

By the sound of it, you got really clingy and attached too fast. How often were you calling her? Did you ever do anything unpredictable and fun? How much space did you give her?

The fastest route to a failed relationship is not knowing when to lean back.

Okay, so apparently Panther is only fourteen years old. I'm not trying to sound condescending at all, but man, having four girlfriends at age fourteen is a bit awkward for me to think about. It's more like "girls that are friends" than "girlfriends." That kind of puts a whole new spin on my perspective... you'll live, trust me.

Whoa..Yeah, sorry man..But Jom=Right..You will live, it'll suck right now but in less than a year you'll laugh at yourself. I do sometimes.

So..My best friend in the whole world has this girlfriend..And she's bothering me. He's got himself convinced she's "the one" and that without her he'd die and all this crap. But she's an absaloute idiot. She won't let him talk to any other girls besides her or like relatives or that kinda' **** on the phone. And they're ALWAYS together, and anytime he tries to come do something with the guys she'll come along and just pull him away. She's so controlling. I have no idea how to tell him this, because he's absaloutly got himself convinced that she's the best thing in his intire life, when really all the problems he's had this year can be related to her easily.

[QUOTE=Lightning Strikes Twice]Whoa..Yeah, sorry man..But Jom=Right..You will live, it'll suck right now but in less than a year you'll laugh at yourself. I do sometimes.

So..My best friend in the whole world has this girlfriend..And she's bothering me. He's got himself convinced she's "the one" and that without her he'd die and all this crap. But she's an absaloute idiot. She won't let him talk to any other girls besides her or like relatives or that kinda' **** on the phone. And they're ALWAYS together, and anytime he tries to come do something with the guys she'll come along and just pull him away. She's so controlling. I have no idea how to tell him this, because he's absaloutly got himself convinced that she's the best thing in his intire life, when really all the problems he's had this year can be related to her easily.[/QUOTE]


Video Camera.

really. set it up in a room where he cant see it. and tape him being pulled out. and your reactions(and other friends). Then slip it somewhere where hell watch it, but you wont be there, so he wont be all "YOU GUYS ARE UST TRYING TO BREAK UP UP CAUSE YOUR JEALOUS", and will just see what she says. my idea.

[QUOTE=Lightning Strikes Twice]Whoa..Yeah, sorry man..But Jom=Right..You will live, it'll suck right now but in less than a year you'll laugh at yourself. I do sometimes.

So..My best friend in the whole world has this girlfriend..And she's bothering me. He's got himself convinced she's "the one" and that without her he'd die and all this crap. But she's an absaloute idiot. She won't let him talk to any other girls besides her or like relatives or that kinda' **** on the phone. And they're ALWAYS together, and anytime he tries to come do something with the guys she'll come along and just pull him away. She's so controlling. I have no idea how to tell him this, because he's absaloutly got himself convinced that she's the best thing in his intire life, when really all the problems he's had this year can be related to her easily.[/QUOTE]

By the sound of it, those two are ready to move in together at a house on the corner of Enable Street and Codependent Avenue.

To use another street analogy, this is a pretty clear cut relationship cauldesac. You're friend is emotionally dependent on his girlfriend to validate him, and his girlfriend is so similarly unstable, she has come to resent the idea of him having a life outside of her.

The first step to a solution is to get him to socialize more. Have a few guy nights where you can all just sit around and watch some explosion-based movies. And make absolutely certain that she doesn't know, and has no way of contacting to him to find out.

You're going to need to slowly detach him from her hip and convince him to put his foot down before he ends up stuck with a ball and chain who tries to control every aspect of his life.

[QUOTE=Jom]Okay, so apparently Panther is only fourteen years old. I'm not trying to sound condescending at all, but man, having four girlfriends at age fourteen is a bit awkward for me to think about. It's more like "girls that are friends" than "girlfriends." That kind of puts a whole new spin on my perspective... you'll live, trust me.[/QUOTE]

I don't understand what that's supposed to mean. Course, only two of them were serious girlfriends.

And i find the whole age thing offensive in a way due to that fact that younger people get no respect when i know 13 year olds who are more mature than a lot of people older than me.

Steerpike:Thats very true..I'm just not sure about the whole no way of contacting him thing..He ALWAYS has his cell phone with him..And this year every single time I've been with him she's called at least twice.

Panther: It's nothing against you at all, and I wouldn't doubt that you are very mature. But trust me no matter how mature you are it's going to be like that. In a year you seriously will look back and realize that you weren't as [I]whatever[/I] as you think you are now. Just trust us man, I know from personal experience thats the way it works.

[QUOTE=ThePinkPanther]I don't understand what that's supposed to mean. Course, only two of them were serious girlfriends.

And i find the whole age thing offensive in a way due to that fact that younger people get no respect when i know 13 year olds who are more mature than a lot of people older than me.[/QUOTE]

You'll understand after graduation. Believe me, the relationship issues of a 14-year-old pale in comparison to what a lot of people over the age of 20 are going through.

This is not an issue of respect. We're trying to be realistic.

[QUOTE=Lightning Strikes Twice]Steerpike:Thats very true..I'm just not sure about the whole no way of contacting him thing..He ALWAYS has his cell phone with him..And this year every single time I've been with him she's called at least twice.[/QUOTE]

Jesus, your friend really needs to grow a pair.

Okay, this is going to require more effort than I had expected... Well the obvious solution would be to tell him to turn his phone off. But I don't think he'd go for that.

The issue needs a delicate touch, so it's going to take some time to think of what to do.

[QUOTE=ThePinkPanther]I don't understand what that's supposed to mean. Course, only two of them were serious girlfriends.

And i find the whole age thing offensive in a way due to that fact that younger people get no respect when i know 13 year olds who are more mature than a lot of people older than me.[/QUOTE]

With age comes experience, and that may be wrong for a great deal of immature old people, and yes there may be mature 13 year olds about. But you're still going to learn alot more about relationships as you get older. His post isn't meaning to be offensive to you, just trying to point out that the sadness you're going to go through when the breakup hits you isn't going to kill you. In majority of cases, relationships at young ages don't become too serious.

I don't mean to come off as an arse, you may be different, but it just usually works that way.

[QUOTE=Steerpike]Jesus, your friend really needs to grow a pair.

Okay, this is going to require more effort than I had expected... Well the obvious solution would be to tell him to turn his phone off. But I don't think he'd go for that.

The issue needs a delicate touch, so it's going to take some time to think of what to do.[/QUOTE]Yeah, he won't go for the turning off the cell phone thing..He'll look at me and laugh lol. I'll be waiting for the answer, if you find one.

[QUOTE=Steerpike]You'll understand after graduation. Believe me, the relationship issues of a 14-year-old pale in comparison to what a lot of people over the age of 20 are going through.

This is not an issue of respect. We're trying to be realistic.
[/QUOTE]

Well it seemed to be an issue of respect. And while issues of 20 year olds for relationships may outshine so to say those of a 14 year olds, it doesn't take the fact that it's still an issue and that you can't tell someone it's not much compared to another due to the fact that I cannot experience the difference currently.

[QUOTE=Lightning Strikes Twice]Yeah, he won't go for the turning off the cell phone thing..He'll look at me and laugh lol. I'll be waiting for the answer, if you find one.[/QUOTE]

How old are you guys, you could plan like, a camping trip or something just all the guys. Hopefully the result will be taking his mind off his girl for a few days and he'll be more inclined to hang out with you guys.

Then after hes not so attached (not that its bad for him to be attached to her, but the current situation is a bit extreme), you can try convincing him something needs to be done.

[QUOTE=Jo Shoe Wah]How old are you guys, you could plan like, a camping trip or something just all the guys. Hopefully the result will be taking his mind off his girl for a few days and he'll be more inclined to hang out with you guys.

Then after hes not so attached (not that its bad for him to be attached to her, but the current situation is a bit extreme), you can try convincing him something needs to be done.[/QUOTE]
Not old enough to go camping..Not responsible enough to go camping anyways :p We'd probably get eaten by a bear while we tried to see if bears were flammable.....:)

It'd be cool though to find a weekend we could just get a couple of guys together and hang out at someone's house..And just sleep there for a couple of days lol..His cell phone would eventually die :p

[QUOTE=Lightning Strikes Twice]Yeah, he won't go for the turning off the cell phone thing..He'll look at me and laugh lol. I'll be waiting for the answer, if you find one.[/QUOTE]

The most roundabout way of doing things is to start trying to be an influence in his life that will get him to stop being such a whipped little bitch. I hate to sound so harsh, but this guy is on his way to being a disgrace to the male half of the species.

The hardest route, but ultimately the one that has the best probability of success in the long-term is to become such a positive influence in his life that he may find the impetus in himself to affect some change.

Alright, first of all you need to convince him that he cannot change other people, only himself. Find a way to subtly work this theme into a few conversations, and see if you can get him to agree with you. I'm not trying to contradict myself. You can't change people, but you can influence their decisions.

It would help if you get/have a girlfriend yourself. Probably the best homework you've ever had, right there.

You're going to have to get him to learn to be more autonomous. Find ways to let him make decisions more that don't involve his girlfriend. You'll essentially be helping him to uncross the wires.

That's all I can think of for now.