[url=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v607/frozeninshadows/catnip.jpg]Improv Comedy advert[/url]

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]ATM has been waiting to ask Myspace shower girl out on a date and she finally agrees to go out with him. He takes her to a nice restaurant and buys her a fancy dinner. On the way home, he pulls over to the side of the road in a secluded spot. They start necking and he's getting pretty excited. He starts to reach under her skirt and she stops him, saying she's a virgin and wants to stay that way (STFU, just go with the joke).

"Well, okay," he says, "how about a blowjob?"

"Yuck!" she screams. "I'm not putting your dong in my mouth!"

He says, "Well, then, how about a hand job?"

"I've never heard of that," she says. (STFU, just go with the joke) "What do I have to do?"

"Well," he answers, "remember when you were a kid and you used to shake up a Coke bottle and it'd spray all over the place?"

Myspace shower girl nods. "Well, it's just like that."

So, he pulls it out and she grabs hold of it and starts beating it. A few seconds later, his head flops back on the headrest, his eyes close, snot starts to run out of his nose, wax blows out of his ear and he screams out in pain.

"What's wrong?!" Myspace shower girl screams.

ATM screamed back,

"Take your thumb off the end!"[/QUOTE]

See my last post.

C'mon, Jim. The point of a joke is to be funny.

[QUOTE=Disconnection Notice]Your jokes are making me hate white people, Jim. And I'm very tolerant of white people[/QUOTE]

That joke was supposed to. The ATM and Myspace joke (the last one I just posted) was meant to be funny, however.

EDIT: you know what, fuc[size=2]k you. It's 1:11, and I need sleep. My imagination isn't very sharp right now.[/size]

I bet ATM will laugh if he gets laid.*

*he probably will chuckle, at best :-\

I'm easy to impress. Another refl about ATM and Myspace girl.

Take your thumb off the end. :p

I posted the link to the advert up top ^^^

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]This is another bad one:

A woman walks into the store and purchases the following:

1 small box of detergent
1 bar of soap
3 individual servings of yogurt
4 oranges
1 stick of women's deodorant

She then goes to the check out line.

Cashier: Oh, you must be single.
Woman: You can tell that by what I bought?
Cashier: No, you're fuc[size=2]king ugly![/size][/QUOTE]

What's the difference between East German Woman and Gorillas.

At least with Gorillas you can put a bag over their heads.

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]That joke was supposed to. The ATM and Myspace joke (the last one I just posted) was meant to be funny, however.

EDIT: you know what, fuc[size=2]k you. It's 1:11, and I need sleep. My imagination isn't very sharp right now.[/size][/QUOTE]

Trying to tell jokes when you're tired is like trying to drive drunk: just don't do it, son.

:confused: Found the link, but uhh...

[QUOTE=Disconnection Notice]Trying to tell jokes when you're tired is like trying to drive drunk: just don't do it, son.[/QUOTE]

I'm making these off the top of my head, asshat. Cut me some slack :tiredangryface:

[QUOTE=HeavyRiva]What's the difference between East German Woman and Gorillas.

At least with Gorillas you can put a bag over their heads.[/QUOTE]

East Germany? What is this, 1988?

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]I'm making these off the top of my head, asshat. Cut me some slack :tiredangryface:[/QUOTE]

You need to learn your limitations.

:lol: No, you moron, it's 2005.

Obviously sarcasm.

Oh really. Are you insinuating that the Berlin Wall has, *s******* come down or something? I'd like to see that happen. Bwahahahaha.

[QUOTE=HeavyRiva]Oh really. Are you insinuating that the Berlin Wall has, *s******* come down or something? I'd like to see that happen. Bwahahahaha.[/QUOTE]

Wait, what the hell is the Berlin Wall?

What is this business called the "Internet?" In-ter-net? Am I saying this correctly? Internet?

[QUOTE=Disconnection Notice]Wait, what the hell is the Berlin Wall?[/QUOTE]

I think it runs across Paris or something. It's named after its creator, Ferdinand Berlin.

Mornin' gents.

Sup CJ. I need to stop making up jokes at 1 in the morning when I'm not getting a lot of sleep as it is.

[QUOTE=HeavyRiva]I think it runs across Paris or something. It's named after its creator, Ferdinand Berlin.[/QUOTE]

That Ferdinand band (Frank Ferdinand?) is pretty cool, I have to say.

And evenin', cj.

Franz Ferdinand fuc[size=2]king suck.

/unsoli[/size]cited opinion

That stupid riff annoys the hell out of me.

[QUOTE=AntiHero3314]Franz Ferdinand fuc[size=2]king suck.

/unsoli[/size]cited opinion

That stupid riff annoys the hell out of me.[/QUOTE]

123

Talk to you guys later. I'm tired, and it's only 10:20 here. :-/

:wave:

Peace, kombucha.

Goodnight.

So, I have a debate on my hands. A raging debate as it were.

Do I stay here, or play GTA till the TV is usurped by my family?

Good morning MX :wave:

Mornin' sir. What's happening?

Nothing much, what about yourself?

Just sitting at work as always. Trying to decide if I should Satriani - Is There Love in Space? or Vai's new one Real Illusions.

Haven't heard either so I can't help you there, sorry

Satch > Vai

Vai > Satch. Sorry, Jason.

[QUOTE=HeavyRiva]Vai > Satch. Sorry, Jason.[/QUOTE]

Negative.

He might be more skilled as technicallity goes, but when it comes to the music, I personally think Vai is one of the most boring artists I have ever heard.

Well, I'm sure I'll like the Satch, as I have and enjoy other stuff of his. However, I've never even heard any Vai, so I want to get something to try him out. Guess I'll just DL some and see if I like it.

Sup.

[QUOTE=BoboTheRagingHobo]Negative.

He might be more skilled as technicallity goes, but when it comes to the music, I personally think Vai is one of the most boring artists I have ever heard.[/QUOTE]

This conversation weill be as productive as ti[size=2]ts [/size]on a bull.

[QUOTE=cjborton]Well, I'm sure I'll like the Satch, as I have and enjoy other stuff of his. However, I've never even heard any Vai, so I want to get something to try him out. Guess I'll just DL some and see if I like it.[/QUOTE]


I think I still have a bunch of stuff from him downloaded, if you want to get it from me.

[url]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v481/BoboTheRagingHobo/000_027356.jpg[/url]

And here is a picture of my 40 pound sledge/war hammer...

[QUOTE=BoboTheRagingHobo]my 40 pound sledge/war hammer...[/QUOTE]

/Lame. $5 at the hardware store and I have one too...

[QUOTE=cjborton]/Lame. $5 at the hardware store and I have one too...[/QUOTE]


I made it in metals for free...what now? And actually, that piece of metal costs around 20 dollars new, and the pole would probably be about 5 dollars. You also wouldn't be able to get that steel at a hardware store, have to go to a metal yard.

I never said it looked pretty, it just smashes stuff...

Crashing, night guys.