Well you and your brother are apparently well endowed with writing skills, so here goes.

My concerns:
I cannot seem to get any cohesion or directness. Just really doesn't feel like a thesis statement to me, so any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thesis:

Erdrich’s primary portrayal of Lyman Lamartine, the younger of the two brothers in The Red Convertible, suggests that he is happy-go-lucky and an all-around nice guy who just so happens to be unsuccessfully coping with the changes that the Vietnam War instilled in his older brother Henry. Upon further reading it becomes clear that Erdrich is writing about something much larger than Lyman’s attempts to alleviate his ailing brother of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and nurture him back into the grave rhythm of reservation life. But rather than themes of fleeting fraternity and the intrinsic difficulties of maturity, Erdrich pursues the larger theme of the Native American experience in response to marginalization and assimilation. With this new perspective it becomes apparent that Lyman is not only flirting with Americana, but that he is fully engulfed and assimilated into white culture. Through his willful acceptance of white culture, he becomes detached from his seemingly native culture and forfeits his inherently stereotypical Indian masculinity.

[QUOTE=Ting;13341108]Hey everyone![/QUOTE]

Sup Ting

[QUOTE=The Brad;13341135]Well you and your brother are apparently well endowed with writing skills, so here goes.

My concerns:
I cannot seem to get any cohesion or directness. Just really doesn't feel like a thesis statement to me, so any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thesis:

ladadadada[/QUOTE]
Well, I haven't read this book, so I don't entirely know. But you seem to be saying a lot, break it down as far as you can until it's as basic as it can be: What are you trying to prove?

That's what a thesis is. Don't write me a paragraph, just tell me what you want to prove.

[QUOTE=HELLonWHEELS;13341136]Sup Ting[/QUOTE]

Not much, going crazy on step mania, u?

Well prior to that my thesis was
Erdrich's portayal of Lyman suggests that he is not only flirting with Americana, but that is fully engulfed and assimilated into white culture. Erdrich also leaves room for one to believe that Lyman may in fact be part caucasian.

Basically, that still lacks direction and balls as far as "this is my thesis, this is what I am going to prove"
I am failing to make an argument.

[QUOTE=Ting;13341225]Not much, going crazy on step mania, u?[/QUOTE]

Well i was try to get a decent double thumb down and now the top of my thumb has no epidermis its just red and well i guess i can't practice that today.


If i want to mute the strings what shold i use. I tried using a sweatband but i keeps falling a bit too far

Okay, so basically, this guy is an Indian (right?), but due to his surroundings he has been assimilated and lost his roots. So prove that this Indian has been assimilated into white culture.

Yeah yeah, I know where I am going with my paper.
But the thesis meanders and lacks direction is what I was saying.

Maybe the class will have something to say about it.

sup dudes.

[QUOTE=The Brad;13341240]Well prior to that my thesis was
Erdrich's portayal of Lyman suggests that he is not only flirting with Americana, but that is fully engulfed and assimilated into white culture. Erdrich also leaves room for one to believe that Lyman may in fact be part caucasian.

Basically, that still lacks direction and balls as far as "this is my thesis, this is what I am going to prove"
I am failing to make an argument.[/QUOTE]

Don't try to make it as simple as it can be, type a complex-split thesis, this provides partition and analysis.

such as- "Politically, the war established the supremacy of the Republican party in national politics for much of the next fifty years. Socially, the war saw significant gains in African American rights. And constitutionally, the war established the supremacy of the federal government over the state. Thus, the Civil War did in fact represent a political, social, and constitutional revolution in America."

My thesis for an apush paper. It provides three different points in a more complex setting.

Try to type a gray area thesis, let it flow and don't think so hard on it.

[QUOTE=Worrpigs;13341383]sup dudes.[/QUOTE]

Not much, you man?

[QUOTE=ferdinand5]Try to type a gray area thesis, let it flow and don't freak out.[/QUOTE]

But sitting on the fence is crap. If you don't know what you're trying to prove, how can you write a paper about it?

He seems to know what he wants to prove, he just can't properly word his thesis... or so it seems...

[QUOTE=Spaceman Spiff;13341415]He seems to know what he wants to prove, he just can't properly word his thesis... or so it seems...[/QUOTE]

Bingo.

[QUOTE=Spaceman Spiff;13341415]But sitting on the fence is crap. If you don't know what you're trying to prove, how can you write a paper about it?

He seems to know what he wants to prove, he just can't properly word his thesis... or so it seems...[/QUOTE]

It is important not to try to write a thesis that is all "black" or all "white." The most effective essays attempt to navigate the "gray area" in a more sophisticated fashion. You stand is he got ingulfed in white culture, rather than keeping his indian roots right?

[QUOTE=Ting;13341390]Not much, you man?[/QUOTE]

same, just chillen. i feel good today, i dont know why.

I think my sister just invented the best muting system by accedent.

[QUOTE=The Brad;13341430]Bingo.[/QUOTE]

What I think you should do is what I said before, break it down as far as you can, try and say what you want in one sentence, then expand from there.

[QUOTE=Spaceman Spiff;13341483]What I think you should do is what I said before, break it down as far as you can, try and say what you want in one sentence, then expand from there.[/QUOTE]

As in break it down to atleast 3 topics, and describe them. Thus, Complex-split thesis.

[QUOTE=ferdinand5;13341468]It is important not to try to write a thesis that is all "black" or all "white." The most effective essays attempt to navigate the "gray area" in a more sophisticated fashion. You stand is he got ingulfed in white culture, rather than keeping his indian roots right?[/QUOTE]

I disagree. If you're trying to prove something, you do your best to prove it. What makes it most effective is if you can bring up counter-arguments and then refute them with evidence, which only strengthens your point.

That's just my stance because it's so absurd it's easy to make an argument for.

[QUOTE=Spaceman Spiff;13341503]I disagree. If you're trying to prove something, you do your best to prove it. What makes it most effective is if you can bring up counter-arguments and then refute them with evidence, which only strengthens your point.[/QUOTE]

Example of a gray thesis, about Civil war(cause its easy as hell) and I will make an example from my last thesis.

Ex- "Although the Civil War resulted in the supremacy of the Republican party for the next fifty years and led to a constitutional revolution regarding Africa American rights, black in teh South were virtually abandoned by the North in 1875-9( somewhere in there) and subsequently dominated by the white-supremacist Democratic party of the "Solid South." thus, to a larger extent, the Civil War did represent a revolution constitutionally and in national politics but it was not a complete revolution regarding social and political issues in the South."

While in the gray area, it is still imperitive to take a stand, that never goes away. Because it starts with although it kind of goes back on the following things said in the rest of the sentence. So in the Gray you still firmly take a stand, while providing enough points to write a good essay. If you are typing about a topic found in the text, you [B]must[/B] take a stand.

/now you know what I meant by gray.

Still, a strong essay will come if you can not only prove your point, but bring up and refute opposing points.

[QUOTE=Spaceman Spiff;13341752]Still, a strong essay will come if you can not only prove your point, but bring up and refute opposing points.[/QUOTE]

Did you read any of my posts?, the last one is filled with refutable opposing points.

Maybe I still just don't understand your gray area thing... you just seem to be sitting on the fence: "It was a revolution but it wasn't totally a revolution."

So? You can argue both ways, just pick one. Your argument is only weakened if you can't get behind one side. If you're trying to defend two opposing views, you wind up saying much less than you could if you picked one side and defended it fully.

Don't forget, an argument sound much more plausible if you qualify the other side of the argument just a little bit. But not too much.

[QUOTE=jcs497;13341855]Don't forget, an argument sound much more plausible if you qualify the other side of the argument just a little bit. But not too much.[/QUOTE]

Some people will see that as weakness in your own argument, though; if the other side can be argued and you can't refute it.

I can see why you would feel that way, Spiffy. but unless you are arguing with a complete moron, there will be some truth to what he says.

I guess it's just the way I was taught: argue as though the person reading your paper knows nothing and you are trying to to convince them that you are right.

And even aside from that, I still believe that an argument is strongest when the opposing view can't counter what you've said in any aspect without you being able to counter their point or points.

[QUOTE=Spaceman Spiff;13342110]I guess it's just the way I was taught: argue as though the person reading your paper knows nothing and you are trying to to convince them that you are right.

And even aside from that, I still believe that an argument is strongest when the opposing view can't counter what you've said in any aspect without you being able to counter their point or points.[/QUOTE]

thats how i roll



bark twice if youre in milwaukee

I don't care dude, I was merely qualifying your side of the argument a little, but not too much.

:wave:

[QUOTE=e p;13342127]thats how i roll



bark twice if youre in milwaukee[/QUOTE]
have we discussed this? is that the cheat code for contra?

what's up leftshoe?

nonsense

its from mortal kombat old man, youre out of your league

doing some photography work, made it through day two without a cigarette, discovered im an absurdist, thirsty

Lawl. I'm just arguing my side, leaving no room for counter-arguments. :p




I'm just bored.

[QUOTE=e p;13342156]nonsense

its from mortal kombat old man, youre out of your league[/QUOTE]
dang. subzero finish?

I just finished my speech. And now it feels like.....Miller Time!

[QUOTE=Jimbobntnr;13342230]dang. subzero finish?[/QUOTE]

jax sucka

dammit.

MK was best on Genesis.