My favourite joke goes like this:

I was crossing a bridge one day, when I came across a man standing on the railing, about to jump. Being a good Christian man (Penguin's note: yeah right!) I felt it was my duty to stop him.

So I called out to him and said,
"Hey! Don't jump!", and why called back and said,

"Why shouldn't I? I've nothing left to live for!"

"Sure you do." I said, "Do you have a family? Do you believe in God?"

"Well, I 've no family," he told me, "but I do believe in God. I'm a Christian."

"Sure you are." I said, "You don't get as many of us around these days. We're a dying breed. May I ask which branch?"

"I'm a Protestant."

"Me too! Baptist or Refomist?"

"I'm reformist." he told me.

"Oh wow!" I said. "I think you're the first other Reformist I've met in a few years? May I ask, 1897 Reformation of 1912 Reformation?"

"1897. What about you?" he began. But he never finished that sentance, as I yelled,

"DIE HERETIC SCUM!!!" and pushed him.

brew thinks that is an amusing joke

with added FOD-ness

[QUOTE=Brew]brew thinks that is an amusing joke

with added FOD-ness[/QUOTE]

you should narrate your life too...

Man, ashman stole FOAD and didn't even acknowledge it. That really hurts.

[QUOTE=ashman]you should narrate your life too...[/QUOTE]

brew thinks this is a funny idea

*brew sips coffee*

[quote=Spectrum]Man, ashman stole FOAD and didn't even acknowledge it. That really hurts.[/quote]
All hail to the ashman!

:p

I need to do my English coursework? Someone motivate me'

My time working in Eastern European factories with child labour may help with motivation

/cracks whip

Woohoo@
I've done a page and a bit already# More whipping£

Happy, I didn't know you had a kinky side.








Oh all right then, since it has to be done....
















































:naughty:

[QUOTE=the_uber_penguin]My favourite joke goes like this:

I was crossing a bridge one day, when I came across a man standing on the railing, about to jump. Being a good Christian man (Penguin's note: yeah right!) I felt it was my duty to stop him.

So I called out to him and said,
"Hey! Don't jump!", and why called back and said,

"Why shouldn't I? I've nothing left to live for!"

"Sure you do." I said, "Do you have a family? Do you believe in God?"

"Well, I 've no family," he told me, "but I do believe in God. I'm a Christian."

"Sure you are." I said, "You don't get as many of us around these days. We're a dying breed. May I ask which branch?"

"I'm a Protestant."

"Me too! Baptist or Refomist?"

"I'm reformist." he told me.

"Oh wow!" I said. "I think you're the first other Reformist I've met in a few years? May I ask, 1897 Reformation of 1912 Reformation?"

"1897. What about you?" he began. But he never finished that sentance, as I yelled,

"DIE HERETIC SCUM!!!" and pushed him.[/QUOTE]

I've heard that one before, because it's fantastic.

Wow, This place has got messy, in my MOH induced leave.
'Sup?

[QUOTE=the_uber_penguin]Happy, I didn't know you had a kinky side.

Oh all right then, since it has to be done....




:naughty:[/QUOTE]
There's lots of things you don't know about me*
Something's wrong, my Romeo and Juliet essays 1 3/4 pages and I'm nearly finished)

[QUOTE=Happy]There's lots of things you don't know about me*
Something's wrong, my Romeo and Juliet essays 1 3/4 pages and I'm nearly finished)[/QUOTE]

we've all been there.

[QUOTE=Atomic Rain]we've all been there.[/QUOTE]
Hmm, I think my teacher won't mind, she just wants the essays in wether they're long or not^

[quote=Happy]There's lots of things you don't know about me*
Something's wrong, my Romeo and Juliet essays 1 3/4 pages and I'm nearly finished)[/quote]

I wrote an essay comparing MacBeth and Frankenstein with Harry Potter and Star Wars that's almost 4,000 words.

That took ages.

It's slow in here tonight.

FOD.

Guess who's not watching the Super Bowl.

I am.

The rolling stones are being a bit crappy on it.

FOAD.

I hear that the Stones weren't that great. And I still am not over the fact that he's still a sex symbol despite being ugly as SIN.

He was voted quite high on the 100 sexiest men list somehow?

No, he is a sex symbol because he is allowed to strut around a stage singing about women and stuff and how he can't get no satisfaction while his band plays songs in E major and A major and always in Myxolydian mode and then he gets to take his shirt off.

Basically, because he's in a 60's Rock Band.

I hope that I'm sexy when I'm old?

so, my school is retarded

[QUOTE=Brew]so, my school is retarded[/QUOTE]
AHA/

Unless you're not referring to yourself in third person anymore, you just slipped up$

How comes!

i'm angry, so i can get away with it

the singer and drummer of my band began organising a battle of the bands a few weeks ago, and then the music department at school got a part in running the auditions.

auditions were last week, and we thought we aced it and would get in, but no, we've been shafted.

funny thing is, harry (singer) got told that only 6 bands would pass auditions, but they let 8 pass (out of about 11), quite a few of the bands don't have names, or are lacking members (singers, bassists etc..), whereas we have a full band, and a full setlist ready to play.

so yeh, we're all pretty pissed off about it, what really annoys me is that a band who did a piss poor version of For Whom the Bell Tolls in the auditions got in, fu[size=2]c[/size]ks sake :angry:

Wow that must really suck. Maybe they know that your band will win so they don't really see much point in letting you through? Only explanation I can think of.

(i'm using correct grammar now)

thats one reason that i thought of.

our setlist looks something like this:

war ensemble (to the drum-fill in the middle) [slayer]
skulls [misfits]
halloween
helena
die, die my darling
ghouls night out
where eagles dare
she
deathcrush [mayhem]

then had we won the event, our encore would've been

horror business [misfits]

we can play each song really well, with most of the misfits ones at double speed, dammit!

Yeah it does look like your band's too good to play a battle of the bands against other bands with no singers ect.

Or maybe they didn't let you through because the singer and drummer of your band organised it?

thats another reason we thought of

overall its messed up, and we're going to rant about it

edit: however, the guitarists dad is going to try and score us a few gigs in local pubs over the next few weeks or so, which will actually pay us and be better for us than a crappy battle of the bands at school