couldnt agree more bro. its really the time in between those days and these that theres been the biggest change honestly. i posted a little in 07, but after i disappeared then things went farrrr downhill. got a million stories to tell, but things were bad man. im lucky to not be in jail, and even luckier to still be alive. like, no overexaggeration at all.

i need to post pics of my lancer after i totalled it. its unbelievable.

i feel like this year is my "downhill". its definitely the worst year ive ever had. maybe next year ill actually do something worthwhile (probably not)

my year has seen several accomplishments but mostly an excessive amount of fail

it gave me a lot to think about, tho

ugh life

its kinda like that darkest before the dawn **** yknow. theres always gotta be something bad to give way to good. id consider my (latest) car accident the lowest point of my life, i was doing absolutely nothing but selling weed and blacking out drinking every night until it happened. people like us, were content with **** like that, as long as were not being bothered in our ways, were content to just stick to our custom. it takes something big, a metaphorical slap in the face, to wake us up and get us where we really want/need to be going.

not saying that i hope something big and bad happens to you, just some words of encouragement to not let the current 'downhill' ruin your hopes. everything will come around eventually.

such spiritual words

i just experienced a metaphorical slap in the face of pretty outrageous proportions not long ago , like literally ****ed my whole **** up

does this mean that good things are coming ? :)

ive had 3 huge slap in the faces since like last summer and stuff changes for about a month, then just gets worse because of it. who knows.

not unless you use the slap in the face to fix the things that caused it. i mean, keep going down the same road and youll keep ending up in the same place. the point is to learn from the slap, find the wrist of the problem, and sever that bitchs hand so that it wont happen again.

[QUOTE]ive had 3 huge slap in the faces since like last summer and stuff changes for about a month, then just gets worse because of it. who knows.[/QUOTE]

same thing happened to me. after my first car accident, i got all cleaned up and got a good job and things seemed to be heading in the right direction. after a couple months though i just fell right back, picked up where i left off, and just went even further downhill. life just works in crazy *** ways like that. the thing is what was the 'right direction' at that time wasnt actually what i wanted. youre never going to be able to force yourself to do the right thing if its not what you want. you have to find your own 'right thing' yknow.

Meh, I'd say I've learned my lesson.

[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2z-OLG0KyR4[/url]

i think i've seen this before but lol

you guys :(

this is why I don't get too high or too low

but I guess I'm at a high right now

as soon as I do something stupid, I know I'll hit a low

my situation goes:

around july last year i decided to cut myself up and nearly bleed to death

this february my grandma died, and she's the closest anyone has been to me

a few months back my dad admitted he has ptsd and started on therapy and medicine for it. my gf made me realize my problems are pretty much ptsd related because of my dads influence. i act just like him and it causes tons of ****

now i just live fairly chaotic and do too many drugs

woo venting stuff at 5 am

[QUOTE]bleed to death[/QUOTE]

had to quote

i'm happier now then i've been for months

doing tonnes of exercise and eating right

[QUOTE=adb;17547013]had to quote[/QUOTE]

actually typed bled to death at first and was like nahhhh cant type that in r&m.

[QUOTE=Meatplow;17547014]i'm happier now then i've been for months

doing tonnes of exercise and eating right[/QUOTE]

same

my life right now is in that awkward stage where i just got over a rather tiring bout of overly suicidal depression and now i'm ready for new things in life but there doesn't seem to be anything around just yet

life is looking forward to something

imo

if you have nothing to look forward to, it's not worth living

i've been on a good path these past few weeks. up until about a month ago i was starting to get pretty stupidly morbid but now i'm relaxing and trying to enjoy thingz more

but i do need a job or a gf or rock band, something like that to keep me distracted

rock band, easily

yeah thats def my top pick but it's the hardest to get out of all of those

[QUOTE=AA-12;17547012]my situation goes:

around july last year i decided to cut myself up and nearly bleed to death

this february my grandma died, and she's the closest anyone has been to me

a few months back my dad admitted he has ptsd and started on therapy and medicine for it. my gf made me realize my problems are pretty much ptsd related because of my dads influence. i act just like him and it causes tons of ****

now i just live fairly chaotic and do too many drugs

woo venting stuff at 5 am[/QUOTE]

not really anything for me to say bc i havent been through any of that (except the living chaotically and doing too many drugs). i can say that though not everything happens for a reason, you can learn something from everything.

bad things happen = write grim lyrics about them

otherwise you went through them for nothin

im such an escapist that its hard to learn from anything. i just kind of ignore whats true and keep going.

some things i bottle up and ignore other things i just completely immerse myself in

depends whether it's something embarrassing or something that feels glamorous and dignified if i had to guess

idk how one wouldn't want to learn from their mistakes unless they have truly have give up on life

it seems to me a key element of survival

the worst thing is when you make a mistake that's too big to shrug off

then you have to say " in a couple of years this will be v funny in a surrealistic sort of way"

i think thats probably the first step in getting 'uphill' though, learning how to learn from failures/bad things. before i started getting my life together, id look at every arrest, every **** up, every embarassment, as just like, idk, a miscalculation. "oh i was just in the wrong place at the wrong time", something like that, then just forget about it and keep going. you have to learn to take every bad experience and make progression from it, whether you had a hand in creating the experience or not.

and btw when i say finding your own 'right path' and **** i dont just mean getting clean and whatnot. obviously i didnt get rid of my drinking, but i got rid of my lifestyle where that was all i did and didnt give a **** about anything. i mean, for someone to total a car while theyre blacked out, they must not really value their life (me back then).

eh im having trouble forming thoughts into words i need to go to sleep

hey how long does it take food to digest like suppose i just ate

4-10 hours to leave your stomach

24 hours to completely digest

depends on how good your digestive system is. considering you said you take like one **** a week id say youll be carrying what you just ate all day today.

considering i take like 4 shits a day now i think my time is much less than 24 hours. anyway yeah going to sleep now lata.

[QUOTE=Jaundice;17547034]hey how long does it take food to digest like suppose i just ate[/QUOTE]

an hour or so?

at least you aren't supposed to go swimming for that period of time or some shi'

[QUOTE=Nepenthe;17547031]i think thats probably the first step in getting 'uphill' though, learning how to learn from failures/bad things. before i started getting my life together, id look at every arrest, every **** up, every embarassment, as just like, idk, a miscalculation. "oh i was just in the wrong place at the wrong time", something like that, then just forget about it and keep going. you have to learn to take every bad experience and make progression from it, whether you had a hand in creating the experience or not.

and btw when i say finding your own 'right path' and **** i dont just mean getting clean and whatnot. obviously i didnt get rid of my drinking, but i got rid of my lifestyle where that was all i did and didnt give a **** about anything. i mean, for someone to total a car while theyre blacked out, they must not really value their life (me back then).

eh im having trouble forming thoughts into words i need to go to sleep[/QUOTE]

Thats it really. I'm not one to judge other people and what they do, whatever works for the individual etc. but when you clearly bang your head into a wall over and over surely you would want to stop doing that and try something else, at least for a bit.

I thought that would be some kind of ingrained instinct within a lot of people, but I guess not.

[QUOTE=Meatplow;17547038]

Thats it really. I'm not one to judge other people and what they do, whatever works for the individual etc. but when you clearly bang your head into a wall over and over surely you would want to stop doing that and try something else, at least for a bit.[/QUOTE]

yeah, my favorite thing to say is 'keep going down the same roads and you will get to the same places'. cant remember where i heard it.

im v obsessed with instant gratification

[QUOTE=Jaundice;17547040]im v obsessed with instant gratification[/QUOTE]

this is my impression of America as a whole :p

well, i'm only fed a steady diet of TV shows so what do I know

Us americans are very fond of mild Christianity, instant grat and reality shows, yes

im thinking about going to walmart

y/n

[QUOTE=Jaundice;17547044]Us americans are very fond of mild Christianity, instant grat and reality shows, yes[/QUOTE]

I hate these things

I like instant gratification very much. The other two can **** themselves.

whatcha gonna get at walmart josh

i dunno i just need to get out somewhere