Five Finger Death Punch
F8


2.5
average

Review

by Sarah USER (66 Reviews)
February 28th, 2020 | 113 replies


Release Date: 2020 | Tracklist

Review Summary: I'll be waiting on the brighter side of grey

For the past 13 years, "true metal" band Five Finger Death Punch have been one of the internet's favorite musical punching bags, conjuring up images of wannabe nu metal kids and irritating rednecks who jack off to the military and deem Trump to be the greatest thing to ever grace the planet since Creed and Hinder. Unlike many of the other internet favorites like Bieber (and even Nickelback to some extent), Five Finger Death Punch never upped their game; in fact, following American Capitalist, the band's quality plummeted like there was no tomorrow. And F8 doesn't exactly fix that, but it brings back, at the very least, their ability to make an album you can actually make it through.

Sobriety has done wonders for Ivan Moody, at least sonically. His singing is by far the strongest it's been since American Capitalist, and his unclean vocals have morphed into a surprisingly decent Jeremy McKinnon soundalike. What sobriety hasn't helped is his lyrics; in fact, F8 features the laziest songwriting in the entire band's discography, a surprising accomplishment given how bad And Justice For None was in that department. Lyrical content has been reduced to mind-boggling stupidity such as "I'm a little bit off today, something down inside me's different / Woke up a little off today, I could tell that something's wrong / I'm a little thrown off today, there's something going on inside me / I'm a little bit off today, a little bit off today", "You're the one on the magazine covers and everyone loves ya / You're the one everyone wants to be like, but no one can be", and the pinnacle of all god-tier lyricism (move over, Lennon and M cCartney):

"F**k!
I know you better than you f**king do!
I've seen your kind before and I ain't impressed at all!
You're a snitch, you're a cheat!
You're a liar and a thief!
You're the weakest of the herd and you'll get what you deserve!"

-"This Means War"

The biggest improvements over past albums are the instrumental department: Zolthan Bathory and Jason Hook have been re-energized, and present throughout F8 are some of the strongest riffs ever conceived by this band. Bassist Chris Kael provides extremely competent bass playing throughout, and Charlie Engen lays down some fairly solid drumlines, despite being slightly below previous drummer Jeremy Spencer.

Unfortunately, musicianship is where all deserved praise of F8 ends. Kevin Churko continues to brickwall everything he breathes on and continues to record drums out of his home toilet, strangle any semblance of bass tones to death, and then put the guitar volume on steroids. The mixing and mastering does the album absolutely zero favors, either; it all still sounds like a loud, clipped amateur job. When it comes down to it all, from an instrumental standpoint F8 actually is a fairly strong radio-metal release, but thanks to the crippling decisions made by Moody and Churko it will forever roam in the depths of average music hell.



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user ratings (180)
2
poor


Comments:Add a Comment 
Valzentia
February 28th 2020


1403 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Album stream: https://open.spotify.com/album/7vAcymF4feKxvqcUDzLQD2?si=4k25X2YvS1WmVXaFnKQD3w



It's out overseas so I figure its safe to post this now. Constructive criticism appreciated.

Dewinged
Staff Reviewer
February 28th 2020


32020 Comments


Can you rate an album without even listening to it?

Yes, yes you can.

Pos'd.

SteakByrnes
February 28th 2020


29733 Comments


Band is garbage, but I still think the debut is good

SymbolicInTime
February 28th 2020


7380 Comments


Would be surprised if this is anything more than a 1-1.5. My wife and I went through all their records a while back (wed knock out a few at a time while road tripping or something) maybe she'd be interested in listening to this and laughing our asses off/cringing the whole time

Debut is good [2]

Edit: those lyrics you pulled out in your review gave me a good chuckle. Classic Ivan

oltnabrick
February 28th 2020


40630 Comments


fast & furious 8

YuriZakhaev
February 28th 2020


1057 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

I bumped to 1.5 and raised the avg, whoops

Lord(e)Po)))ts
February 28th 2020


70239 Comments


Ten Toe Life Kick

Emim
February 28th 2020


35244 Comments


I can already hear this in my mind.

Gnocchi
Staff Reviewer
February 28th 2020


18256 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

That average needs fixing, hold my wine a sec

Kompys2000
Emeritus
February 28th 2020


9428 Comments


This is a more even-handed review than this band deserves

deathschool
February 28th 2020


28620 Comments


What does F8 do on a PC again? I'm all chromebooks and iphones these days.

Gnocchi
Staff Reviewer
February 28th 2020


18256 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

don't do it, that's the volume up button...

deathschool
February 28th 2020


28620 Comments


Oh, okay. Which button is for laptop assisted suicide?

parksungjoon
February 28th 2020


47231 Comments


what a band, eh?

Scheumke
February 28th 2020


2628 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

It gets though to give these guys an objective review, but I think you did it quite well, props. There guys could make the best album of their genre and it would still be a 2.5 at this point.

Scheumke
February 28th 2020


2628 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Gonna play devil's advocate here: If this had even half-decent lyrics this might be listenable or even slightly enjoyable in a 'guilty pleasure' sorta way. The lyrics make it laughable at best.

Valzentia
February 28th 2020


1403 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

pretty much

parksungjoon
February 28th 2020


47231 Comments


willow is prob one of the best reviewers of bad music this site has ever seen. fuck i mean i bet i couldnt even sit through this whole thing let alone write anything half-positive.


hope ur gonna do more actually good/underrated stuff like deadmau5 soon.

Valzentia
February 28th 2020


1403 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

planning on it, honestly. just need to find something

parksungjoon
February 28th 2020


47231 Comments


how about logistics' debut?



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